Chapter 10: Chapter 10

Clearing out the rest of the ship was an act of meditation. I kept myself occupied while processing the earlier revelation in small, bite-sized pieces. Zetans died as I ignored their weapons fire and thoroughly exterminated them from every room, every compartment, every ship section. And as I murdered them with a purpose, I tried coming to terms with the accidental killings.

Was it a big difference, slaughtering these aliens, or raiders, or ghouls, compared to killing the occupants of the cryo storage? Maybe it was the intent, or the threat to safety? My thoughts were a barely-controlled maelstrom as I atomized every Zetan guard and chased down every cowering Zetan worker.

By the time I finished clearing the last section of the ship, I was still not completely at peace with my guilt, but it would have to do for now. At the end of the day, those I value would come first, collateral be damned if it boiled down to that, and I valued the Wright sisters very much.

I hit the teleporter back to the bridge to find Nat sleeping by the security feed, with an obviously tired Piper standing guard over her and putting away the alien gun she had pointed at me at first. How long did it take in the end, four hours? Six? They needed to rest. I needed to rest too, to clear my head.

I went over to gently pick up Nat, and motioned for Piper to follow. “Come on, I found us some beds. We can sort out the junk later.”

We teleported to the alien living quarters, with bunk beds that were a bit too small for me but were good enough for the girls. I sat at the corner of the room, watching them sleep as I figured out how to explain things to Piper after this. She might be fine with it, but an attempt should be made to ensure she got the full picture. Better on my gnawing conscience if I was honest.

They deserved as much too.

I should’ve looted a watch or something. I don’t know how many hours had passed, but looking at the viewing port, the radiation clouded Earth had the American continent lit up by the sun, so it had to be morning at the least.

Nat woke up first, and I spawned out the waffles I fondly remembered for her breakfast. A small sampler’s pot of honey followed, which she emptied out onto her meal before scarfing it all down happily. The noise inevitably woke her sister, and more waffles and honey were spawned, followed by a carton of rose syrup with milk.

While the girls happily ate, I chewed away in silence, keeping on a smiling mask. As they talked about the events last night, I decided to chime in once Piper finished eating. “Hey Piper, mind I talk to you?”

She gave me a weird look before shrugging and turning to Nat. “You stay here, don’t stare at the sun from the windows, ok?” With the younger girl nodding her acknowledgement, Piper finished her drink and got up to follow me out.

*****

“So what’s this about Sev?” Piper asked as soon as they entered another room and closed the door behind them. “It’s the first time I heard you checking if I ‘mind’ talking to you.”

Sev was acting out of sorts ever since he stopped to look at that large misty room. She could only guess it was something potentially dangerous, like a pile of radioactive waste waiting to flood the entire ship, or something in the air that might turn people into super mutants or synths.

“Ah, well, how do I put this again...” Sev started, looking utterly indecisive for the first time since she’d met him. He was a bit lost some times, sure, or hesitated between choices, but never had Piper seen her guardian this...unsure of himself.

Finally he gave a sigh. “Right. Remember yesterday when I froze up?”

Aha, so it was related to something in that room. Piper nodded in silence, patiently waiting for him to elaborate.

“You can’t see it properly in the feeds I guess, but it’s the cryo storage of the ship. It’s where these aliens keep the people they’ve abducted by freezing them, hence the lame ‘froze up’ joke. Anyways, yeah. It’s a room full of frozen people. Was a room full of frozen people.”

Piper digested his words, registering the past tense. “They’re all dead?”

Sev nodded slowly. “Yeah. Remember when we crashed into the bridge and after that I repaired it?” She did. She and Nat were amazed at how the damage just changed back. Hold on…

“The lights went out for a second too, did someth-”

Another slow nod as he interrupted her. “Yeah. Repairing the bridge must’ve tripped the ship’s power or something, which didn’t affect most things, but for the cryo storage area… Well, it made everything freeze up even more.”

Piper could hear herself blink. Did Sev mean all those frozen people died because he repaired the ship? That was…

She had flashbacks to when she realized her revealing Mayburn almost cost her and Nat’s life.

Oh Sev, oh no.

“You didn’t know, Sev,” she replied softly, as gently as she could. She could imagine the guilt he must be feeling, probably far worse than hers.“You had no way to know…”

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He cut her off again, giving a sad, weak smile. “I know. But an accidental murder is still a murder, right? And I thought it over, trying to figure out why killing raiders and aliens was ok but getting hundreds of people I didn’t know killed by accident was such a big deal.”

Another sigh as he ran his hands through his hair. “So it boiled down to threats. Raiders and aliens were out for our blood, those people in cold storage weren’t, at least not yet. But...but what’s done is done, I accidentally killed a lot of people. Also, the other ship? Had the same thing too, probably as many people in it when I took the decision to blow it up without thinking ahead.

I fucked up, got too excited to get us up here.”

Piper watched as he drew in a breath to steel himself.

“And the worst part? I realize I might make this same mistake again, get complacent or just apathetic and oops, genocide. Probably won’t feel as bad as I do now too.

And then... I also realized, if...if I really had to actually make the choice, if it ever came down to knowingly choosing between those innocent people in storage versus you and Nat’s security? I’d do it again without hesitating. I won’t be smiling or laughing, but I’ll do it. For you two.

And somehow, thinking that makes me feel better about my mistake.”

She stared as he shook his head, trying to understand the significance of what he just said. Sev knew it was an accident, but he was willing to purposely do it again just to keep the three of them safe.

“Look, if you-”

“No.” It was Piper’s turn to interrupt him.

Sev had been good to them, to her, throughout their short time together. So he made a major mistake, forgot some common sense which was understandable since he was already operating quite far from it.

But still, he was doing it for Nat and her, just as, she realised quickly, she herself would do anything potentially regrettable to keep Nat safe. Like slaving herself to a stranger for a chance of security.

Her shortsighted actions paid off, Sev’s didn’t. She made it as simple as that.

What truly mattered now, Piper thought with only some guilt, was that the three of them were alright, and nevermind the collateral.

“It’s ok Sev. Really, it’s ok.” She stepped in close to him with a smile. “I’d do the same for Nat...for you. I’m sure Nat will think the same too.”

She gave a shrug, mildly surprised by how nonchalant she was. “You made a mistake, but at least you know you made it. And it’s not like you’ll constantly go around murdering everyone you meet from now on, right?”

He nodded, a bit of a smile returning. “Only if I know they’d be bad for our health.”

“So you’re not a psycho, which is good enough for me. We’ll break it to Nat when she’s old enough to understand, and I’m sure she’ll agree with me too.”

“... You sure?”

Piper managed a confident smirk in reply. “Yeah, I got blood on my hands too, right? And you said I was fine. If I’m fine, you’re fine.”

It was assuring seeing Sev chuckle, even if it was heavy with self-hate. “I was expecting to be shouted at, or some type of outrage you know? Didn’t expect you to be so...ok with...me-”

Piper held his hands, tiptoed up to briefly press her lips against his. “I’m more than ok with you Sev.”

They shared a look, Sev’s eyes darkening with lust before he picked her up and kissed her again. Piper’s felt giddy joy as their tongues shared the taste of waffles, honey and rose syrup.

She hoped he wouldn’t see this as another regrettable mistake. It was far from one to her.

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