Secret Wishes, Hidden Desires (2)
“I’m glad I didn’t mess with her either. Otherwise, she would have had a hard time.”
“Then I’ll have to do it now. Would you like to go to bed?”
“No, then the washing servants will have a hard time.”
“It’s their job to wash the sheets anyway.”
“But no way! What did the servants do wrong?”
Ezet shook her head. She didn’t want to bother others. To be exact, she was afraid. To act against common sense, to find herself doing it, and to feel pleasure.
“You know, I might be a horrible person.”
If she represses it and suppresses it, it’ll twist. Ezet has thought he was a relatively moral and sincere man so far, but it may not be accurate.
The Grand Theater where Edmond and her first went to see the opera. It was undoubtedly true that she felt a thrilling sense of freedom when she was attacked by her husband naked in the box seat where the stage was viewed head-on.
How about she moans with her legs spread out in a carriage circling the city of Aldebaran. Ezet was delighted to do something that people passing by would have seen and pointed the finger at for ignorance.
She was excited to imagine people criticizing her, doing things she shouldn’t do. Knowing it was a clueless and obscene act, she got carried away. Edmond wanted to push herself further.
Ezet always accused Edmond of being forceful and violent, but it was she who wanted the action.
“My heart beats when I say don’t do it. If I do something bad, it’s thrilling.”
“Isn’t that the case with everyone?”
“Not everyone does anything bad, right?”
Edmond told Ezet to do whatever she wanted. No matter how immoral and irrational it is, it’s okay. If she does something wrong, he will change the way the world thinks and make it right.
So she was afraid. She was worried she’s going to do something horrible. That’s why she’s saying she doesn’t want anything. Indeed, she didn’t realize what she wanted because she was suppressed before she realized her desire, but it’s true that she didn’t want to.
“What I want, what I want is… What if it’s actually a hell of a bad thing? What if it bothers others?”
“You can’t live without causing trouble to others. That’s how everyone lives.”
“But I’m still scared. So just let me live a normal life. Be quiet and not noticeable…”
“I can’t do that.”
“Edmond!”
“You said you wanted to be different, didn’t you? You want to shake yourself off from the past when you couldn’t say you want what you wanted.”
“Well, I did, but…”
“Then you can do it.”
Ezet has learned to endure and suppress even before she realizes what she wants. She has constantly brainwashed herself to suppress her desires and satisfy herself with what she has. Edmond didn’t want to let Ezet live like that anymore.
“I’m sure you need some shock therapy.”
“What? Oh, my!”
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Edmond snapped, and a black choker wrapped around Ezet’s neck came to light. A protective harness is worn to prevent the loss of the necklace. There was a thin string at the end of the choker, where the invisible magic was usually hung so that it could not be seen.
Edmond curled the end of the rope around his finger and lifted it lightly.
“Can I pull this?”
“Well, if you pull it… I’ll be strangled.”
“Yes, you’ll be suffocated. That’s what it’s like.”
Was it a suffocation play? She had experienced it before when she was ‘punished’ by Edmond. At that time, she was so busy lying on her stomach that her clothes were torn and whipped, but she definitely remembers suffering.
“If you say you don’t want to, I will never do it.”
“…… ”
Being strangled is scary. Apparently, Ezet resisted crying when she first experienced that right. But now that she thinks about it, she doesn’t think she hated and suffered from suffocation.
“I refused it back then, but… Actually, I guess I didn’t hate it that much.”
She doesn’t dare to try it herself, but Edmond, who is good at everything, will set the timing for Ezet to relax and breathe before she has trouble breathing.
“If I try it again, I think I’ll know how it feels.”
She wanted to try how it would feel as a play to pursue pure pleasure, not as a punishment and crying by her husband.
The fundamental desire, Curiosity, that Ezet had, who has always been stuck in the house and read countless books, raised her head again.
“The… the last time I did it, it was suffocating. So…”
“So what?”
“If I suffer, promise me you’ll quit.”
“Okay, Milady.”
A low-flying, grinning Edmond twirled the string once more.
“Huh…!”
Pang and the string was pulled, and she was suffocated, and Ezet coughed without realizing it.
“Don’t panic, Milady; open your eyes and look at me.”
“Ugh, huh…….”
When she was suffocated, her heart thumped. It seemed as if she could hear something squirming, as if her ears were blocked. Ezet tried to look at Edmond but couldn’t make eye contact because her shoulders were shaking and her waist twisted.
Edmond clasped his leash briefly and held Ezet’s waist tightly. Instinctively trying to resist, her shoes kicked him in the shin and snapped off the leash.
“…cough!”
After a short cough and breathing air, Edmond pulled the string again. Ezet heckled and put her nails on Edmond’s shoulder. Then the force of the leash loosened again, and cold air came into her mouth.
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