One Thing is Clear (5)
Just because one is paid doesn’t mean it’s over. There were always other mercenaries and street tramps who coveted and tried to rob him of his pay. Poisoning food or medicine is not unusual and attacking while sleeping is rather cute. Some set fire to the inn where he was staying.
Edmond learned evil before learning human goodness, suspicion before learning trust, and closure before learning love.
He’s lived like that for over twenty years.
The three years of being adopted by the previous Duke of Jaxen could not dilute the memory of mercenary times.
“Ezet, if I tell you the truth, you probably won’t believe it.”
“What? I won’t.”
“No, I can’t believe it.”
“It’s okay to say even if it’s a strange reason. Tell me, Edmond.”
Isn’t it about her beloved husband? She wants to know anything. What kind of person he is, and what made him love her.
Curious about everything, Ezet picked up Edmond.
“I don’t want you to keep secrets from me.”
“Then I’ll tell you.”
At Edmond’s reply, Ezet nodded, his eyes shining.
“Actually, I’m not very sexual.”
“Lies!”
As soon as she heard it, the sound popped out reflexively. Ezet hurriedly covered her mouth, rolled her eyes, and looked at Edmond again, unable to take back what had already been saying. Her eyes were full of doubt.
“That’s why I told you. You won’t believe it.”
“No, but this is too…”
“I couldn’t survive if I didn’t throw away my desire.”
The mercenary Edmond has been alert to everything, unable to eat or sleep. He has also seen many of his colleagues who bought women and entered the inn saying that they had to relieve their desires to become cold bodies.
For Edmond, someone’s temperature was ominous, and contact was a danger sign. He couldn’t relax just because it was a woman or a child. As he wished, those who approached were those who used vulnerability as weapons.
They don’t trust their colleagues, they don’t care about the weak, and they push anyone away from them.
It was the way Edmond treated the world.
He thought he would never love anyone in his life. He’s never felt good about someone’s temperature.
He has never felt satisfied with something warm and soft in his arms.
Edmond didn’t like Ezet’s favorite fluffy bed, cozy blankets, or sunny pillows. Being in the grip of comfort because he’ll get careless about the blade he’s aiming for.
“I couldn’t get rid of my habit even after I built the ball and got a title. But when I met you, I realized.”
“Edmond…”
“It’s very nice. Being in contact with the flesh.”
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A large hand swept her skin in a relaxed manner. It was a careful touch to prevent wounds on sensitive skin. It was rather itchy, and Ezet shivered lightly.
“Well, Edmond, you like to do it with me……..?”
Is it because she’s having sex with Ezet? It was a snobbish but understandable reason. It was the same with her that she fell for it the first time.
But Edmond shook his head.
“My body likes it. I love having sex with you. But that’s not why I love you.”
“Then what’s the real reason?”
“None.”
“What?”
“I don’t need a reason to love you. Ezet, can you love someone for a reason?”
Edmond’s question left Ezet speechless.
Can you love someone for a reason? For example, if a person is affectionate and sincere and has a great personality that everyone admires, can they be loved?
Can the person kiss the other, mix the flesh, show off their dirty side and still feel happy?
Ezet sighed for a short time. Oh.
One can respect a great man, but one can’t love him. One can thank someone kind to them, but one cannot love them. One can enjoy looking at beautiful people, but one can’t love them.
“I often say I like it for something, but it’s actually an excuse. The reason is just an excuse. Put it on later.”
Ezet loved her grandmother. Grandmother was strict but deeply loved her granddaughter and was a kind person.
However, Ezet loves her not because she was a caring and warm person. She didn’t love her grandmother because she gave her love.
Her grandmother gave her love, and she loved her back. It’s a list of facts. It was a sharing of emotions. It doesn’t follow as a result of either side.
“I like your face. I also like the voice calling my name. The way you look at me, the skin and breath that react every time you touch my hand.”
Edmond whispered, kissing Ezet’s eyes and nose bridge.
“But they can’t be the reason I love you. I’ll love you without them.”
Even if Ezet gets burned and her face is distorted, she loses his voice, she can’t call him, she can’t face the other blind, and she can’t remember a man named Edmond because she lost her cognitive ability.
He will still love her.
So neither appearance nor voice nor personality can be a reason.
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“My love is not the result.”
It’s not a result of something popping up because there’s a cause. For a reason, it’s not a feeling that conditions are met.
Love is a process, not a result. So it does not depend on anything; it exists on its own and continues constantly.
The time that he thought was stopped began to flow when he met Ezet. The heart, beating just to supply blood, reacts violently in front of the woman it loves. His head rang, and he was out of breath. He got to know the joy and happiness that he loves.
Once you know it, you can’t go back to not understanding it.
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