Chapter 28: Christmas Special! (No Context Required) – UnderCurrent At Christmas – Appendix #0

On 'The UnderCurrent' At Christmas - Appendix Entry #0

It may come as surprising to you dear reader that UnderCurrent - A civilisation of two planets probably millions of years away from our own, or possible in a completely alternate dimension - Has a very concept of Christmas at all.   
   Well the fact is it doesn't, however, in spite of my own and Dr.Shika's insistence to the contrary - The publisher and the spokesman for the Minister have made it very clear that we are to include one.
   I shant pretend to be happy about this and I can only be glad we were able to argue it back to just one appendix entry and not have it spiral into some 'St*r-W*rs Holiday Special' atrocity!

And thusly I have been presented with a begrudgingly put together set of files on all known public-holidays within the UnderCurrent's cultures from Dr.Shika's most gullible intern - As well as being assigned an assistant - The 'great', oh so wonderful Sir Dichter-Digter, whom has graced us with a 'poem' - Because I'm obviously not 'Merry' enough by myself, Pah!    
    I'd call it a rhyme but that would be quite the insult to the work of Dr.Seuss and every kinder-garden teacher on minimu----

[Editor's Note #1/3 - Mr.Havelock(OBE) Began to Digress a Little Here but Never Fear, we Will Cut Straight to the Mirth-Filled Christmas Section!]

----therefore it should suffice to say, that owing to the UnderCurrent having no equivalent to Christianity or most of Earth's religious organisations, there is thankfully no version of Easter to speak of, nor is there Halloween in any fashion.
    And yet, though I loath to say it there is an event of some most small of comparisons to 'our' Christmas.

This event varies greatly across the many societies of the UnderCurrent but is practised by almost all of them except for the sparse handful of true-elven societies that remain tucked away on Bhaile.
    The technical name of this event is 'St.Sword-Slayers Day', though few call it by this, partially owing to the UnderCurrent's somewhat fraught religious system - And the fact that it hardly roils off the tounge. With most opting instead to use the name 'St.Aardig's' day instead.
    In what's believed to be living memory an event called 'The Great Homogenisation' occurred, which declassified many customs and religions into cults of a sort.
    Interestingly the pilots of the Fluchtig come across one such group in the fourth arc of this so called 'historical novel', you know - The one that's currently being used to promote Christmas of all things...

 The 'cult' in question are the ominously named 'E.N.D' and though our pilots only meet with them briefly (quite literally walking past their recruiters on the street-walk) they are a very interesting organisation.

 Before Abhaile was settled, many saw the planet as a God. Imagine for a moment that when you looked into the sky, what stared back at you was a startlingly close planet, something multitudes bigger than our Earth's moon for example - Ever looming above you.

It is little wonder then that it was decreed a 'God'.

 In the years since there declassification and the settling of Abhaile as - A planet, not some benevolent God, - E.N.D have grown suitably more 'cultish'.

 Despite having their headquarters on the very planet they believe to be their deity, they now preach that Abhaile (The 'God') is angry for the 'sins of it's subjects daring to touch it's sacred surface' - They believe the, well, 'End' is nigh and that Abhaile will of its own volition collide into Bhaile to destroy both planets wholesale as punishment.
 Ha, now I bet that makes for an superb nativity play!

I must say they make for an interesting group, believing only those who repent and live on Abhaile will be spared. As contradicting as that may sound, it actually shares some intriguing parallels with our earth's----

[Editors Note #2/3 - Apologies Again, The Rest of This Section about E.N.D and a Number of Other Cults Mr.Havelock Chose to Speak on Here - Will be Moved to its Appropriate Place Among Later Appendices.]

The Sword-Dancers themself was a legendary figure even in their own time. Dating back from the 1st age, thousands of years ago - It is believed they fought dragons, ogres, evil mages, Dark-Lords and any other cliched fantasy troop One can think of.  

Due to this they have different titles in a great many cultures, some view them as an aforementioned Saint, others as some sort of Demi-God but almost without question we can say they are the most powerful Magi the NTME has ever allowed us to see or hear of.

When I say Magi, I don't refer to the basic telekinetic and atmospheric abilities the Fluchtig's crew speak rumours of - A bent spoon or propensity for sensing danger - No it's stated that St.Aardig made a 100 or more blades fly through the air at will.
 That they cut a path of scornful conquest through entire armies, paving every battlefield in a river of bright blood-red (how's that for 'Christmassy').

Their gender is somewhat unclear and while I will refer to them as 'She' henceforth, as that is the pronoun the UnderCurrent's people most frequently use - There is no definitive evidence to suggest what her gender actually was.

[Editor's Note #3/3 - Mr.Havelock has insisted very strongly we leave this section in however it is pertinent to make clear that by all accounts the Sword-Dancer was a woman - We have checked the records and spoken to the research team, to find no ambiguity around this. Yet Mr.Havelock swears he saw somewhere a question of the woman's gender and as such this has been left in. As Author's speculation, not fact.]

You may be wondering why this King Arthur-ien sounding figure has been remembered so wildly as anything more then a myth or children's tale.
 This is owing to her uniting of the entire world, a campaign that occurred during the first age, whereby Aardig fought against, and conquered all of the known world in what today might be seen as sometimes genocidal acts against Elven-kind. She dragged humanity together, from petty kingdoms to tribe dwellers - Into her mighty empire, in turn affecting history so greatly that it is inarguable she was a real person, not a creation of fiction or mythology.

This led to the first Human-Empire which would last for centuries, long after her death.
 Advancing technology, medicine and the arts tremendously in a form of combined Industrial revolution and Renaissance Era all in one.

 She also happened to have the signature image of a green battle-kilt and red painted light-plate armour..... But She Was Not Santa Claus!

Sure some accounts 'suggest' she also had white hair and probably could of used her Magi powers to circumnavigate the globe by infusing Goibniu into a slay like vehicle - But that is all coincidence!

You are reading story UnderCurrent – Can You Break The Cycle at novel35.com

 It is also meer-chance that on her feast-day it is customary for people to give gifts to direct-family members and for colourful lights to be strewn from buildings, while festive music is played.

 Simply Coincidence I say!!!

For example gift giving is completely different. Rather than a St. Nicholas figure, every parent is expected to give half their children a present. This means an only-child gets 2 presents, or that a Mother will give two of her four children presents, while the father will give presents to the other two.

Likewise once a child crosses the line of adulthood they are expected to also give a present back to one of their parents - In some cultures this occurs when the parent's mother or father dies and can be seen as a small rite of maturity and first adult step, for the still young child to give a guardian their first present.

 Clearly all this is far from the Capitalist driven form we on Earth pertain.

As for the 'Christmas Lights', it hardly seems implausible that any culture no matter where or when would have a festival in mid-winter to ward away the cold, depression and illness.

 Indeed I find it quite amusing how we of Earth are veering ever nearer to minimalist white and blue Christmas-lighting, despite the objective of such lights being to warm and welcome us during the worst of the winter months.

 The peoples of the UnderCurrent have not forgotten this tradition, using almost solely warm reds, glistening greens and pleasant yellows. Further it is customary that everyone however poor or rich have such lights up, with it even being government funded or assisted in some countries.

 The holiday has actually seen something of a resurgence of popularity in the third age, after all during it's Winter months Abhaile has a bare few hours of sunlight in the day and incredibly cold nights.

The streets of the average Abhaile city and town will be adorned with this colourful glow above and below ground. Every public house will pay to have live music and a 7 day holiday, spanning 3 days either side of St.Sword-Dancer's day is held.

Seasonal dusts storms from the plains consistently cause the land to be coated in a fine layer of white and grey mist. Every rooftop and chimney-pot covered in a soft flush of winter, the windows of every-house and dome fogged as small children look out into the black sky, so filled with stars, imagining excitedly what gifts await them on the big day - All as the folk-songs played, echo throughout every street and those warm, colourful-lights glitter and twinkle throughout the night.

 And when the hot hearths in every-home have died down and the children finished their prayers and wishes to old St.Aardig, before being whisked off to bed on dreams of mirth and glee - When all creatures great and small have lain their heads down and bade the faint smell of baked goods and evergreen trees a good night - When all that has occurred on the 3rd-of-celebration, only then does Sword-Dancer's day begin in earnest.

 But it isn't the damn same as Christmas!

What, not merry enough for you?
 Except me to grovel to corporate and add a flimsy 'Merry Christmas to one and all' to end this? Ha, Bah-Humbug I say - Take your poem, if you can call it that and go, ya damn slaves to the machine!!

Abhailien Christmas - By Sir Dichter-Digter;

~Abhaile most desolate of lands,
Two thirds of dust & sand.
And yet I see the bands.

The bands that play on every corner,
To welcome every foreigner,
As the merry tune reaches every dormer.

From every tenant-farmer to close bed-fellow,
All line streets with rows of warmth,
Of welcoming reds and wonderful yellows.

Where we put forth our cold icy blue,
As though to welcome in Winter Anew.
The people of Abhaile make do.

Where war is rife and people cower,
Yet life they shower more
with bare comfort and open door.

So let us wish these man-of-war
to guide them back to a welcome shore,
A most merry of Yuletide ~

You can find story with these keywords: UnderCurrent – Can You Break The Cycle, Read UnderCurrent – Can You Break The Cycle, UnderCurrent – Can You Break The Cycle novel, UnderCurrent – Can You Break The Cycle book, UnderCurrent – Can You Break The Cycle story, UnderCurrent – Can You Break The Cycle full, UnderCurrent – Can You Break The Cycle Latest Chapter