After going around and saying my goodbyes to everyone and finishing making preparations to leave, I visited Rosalie again to hand over the money. Then, I left Landaust that day.
I thought about meeting Tobias many times, but I ended up being too afraid emotionally to meet him. In the end, I left without speaking to him.
Calling out to a strong adventurer party like the [Azure Alliance] was the obvious course of action to take in order to protect Landaust. Even if Tobias hadn’t reached out to them, other people might have still reached out to them, or they might have voluntarily participated in the defense themselves. They probably wouldn’t have been able to avoid this tragedy either way.
I knew that in my heart, but after taking my own immaturity into account, I put off meeting with Tobias until after I’d calmed down to some extent.
―Now that I had left Landaust, I was planning to go see the person who knew the most out of everyone I knew.
It was none other than the grandma from Elf’s Tears.
I had originally heard about the possibility of reviving the dead from her, and I thought that I should go and ask her about it, even if it was just a fairytale. Since I didn’t have any information at the moment, it would count as some progress.
The grandma might have some knowledgeable acquaintances, and as someone skilled in medicine, she herself had a deep wealth of knowledge.
The only personal concern I had was that she had sent me off in such a grand manner, but I would be returning without accomplishing much of anything. She had told me at the time that I could always run away if I wanted to, and although I was sure that she would still be happy to see me, I felt conflicted inside.
However… I had to collect information, and I didn’t have the time to worry about such a little thing. And so, I continued on my way towards Grezesta at a rapid pace.
Three days had passed since I left Landaust. It had been a long journey, but I could finally see Grezesta, my second home.
It had taken six days when I had traveled from Grezesta to Landaust with Edward, but this time, I was focused only on speed and wasn’t doing any training, so I managed to arrive in half the time.
Although it hadn’t been that long, I still felt nostalgic when I peered through the gates of Grezesta. And even though it didn’t feel great, I found myself vividly recalling my first commission with the [Azure Alliance].
Reminding myself that I didn’t come here to reminisce, I passed through the gate and went straight to Elf’s Tears without making any stops.
Eventually, I arrived at a small store on the outskirts of Grezesta, which was wrapped in the faint scent of nature. For some reason, I had been a little worried that the shop would be gone, but I was relieved to find it in the same place as always.
After rapping a few times on the door, I pushed the door open and entered, the bell making a pleasant ringing sound.
Nothing seemed to have changed since I last visited. As usual, I looked around the store and didn’t see the grandma. I took a deep breath and called out, since she was probably at the back of the store.
The moment my voice drifted throughout the store, I heard a loud noise from the back of the store. Then, the grandma, who usually came out slowly with her cane, hurriedly ran towards me upon seeing me.
“I suppose… It’s been a while. I really missed you.” (Lewin)
“Oohh… It’s really you, Lewin! Why’d you suddenly come to visit me?” (Grandma)
When she saw my face, the look of surprise on her face melted into a warm, welcoming smile. She was the person I always felt like I could trust the most. I felt like tears would well up in my eyes just from seeing her.
“To be honest…” (Lewin)
I pushed past the emotions welling up from the pleasant reunion and told the grandma everything from beginning to end and also why I was here. I told her about what had happened at Landaust, about Ahmed, and that I was looking for a way to revive her.
She listened to me with a smile at first, but as my story went on, her face grew grim. When I told her that I was looking for a way to revive her, she began to slowly shake her head.
“Lewin, you really had a rough time, didn’t you?” (Grandma)
“No, I didn’t even accomplish anything… It wasn’t hard.” (Lewin)
“Your face is usually so expressive, but I can see from your stiff expression that you’re really trying your hardest to stifle your emotions, Lewin. You might not realize it yourself, but it was tough for you… No, I can still see that even now, you’re having a hard time.” (Grandma)
The grandma comforted me in a gentle voice as she stroked my head lightly. I felt hot tears begin to rise in my eyes, so I raised my head and gazed skywards to prevent them from falling.
I absolutely refuse to cry until everything is resolved. I didn’t think about anything else and desperately tried to suppress my emotions.
“If you’re sad, it’s okay to cry. If times get hard, it’s okay to cry. Even if you cry, it doesn’t mean that your feelings will become any less.” (Grandma)
“…..Sorry. Just for a little bit.” (Lewin)
The emotions that I was trying to hold back broke like a dam, and the tears came flowing out. I had been afraid that if I cried, my hopes for Ahmed would fade, and my heart would break. That if I cried, I would never be able to get up again.
The strong emotions washed over me like a storm, and the tears that I had been suppressing since visiting the Special Morgue began to pour out unceasingly. As I collapsed to my knees and broke down in tears, the grandma stayed there with me, gently patting my back until I eventually stopped crying.