Chapter 10: Ch 10 – Opening up

I’m going to try something new with the internal conversations between the shadow child and Kalia.

 

All of the shadow child’s dialogue will be “bold with quotations”, while all of Kalia’s surface thoughts (the ones the shadow child can hear) will be bold without quotations. (Important to note is that Kalia can have surface thoughts without intending to communicate with the shadow child. It still hears those.”

 

For example the line:

 

Why did I do that?

 

Could be Kalia just regretting an action she took.

But since the shadow child could hear that, it may respond with:

 

“Because you are a stinky little human lol.” The shadow child quipped.

There will be a poll at the end of this chapter about this.

Don’t think don’t think don’t think don’t think don’t think…

 

It was worse than intrusive thoughts. Worse than the occasional urge to steal something pretty when it was right in front of you or to kick the next person you see when something makes you angry. 

Those were violent, emotional outbursts or split second thoughts without justification.

This though, was different.

Sure, these thoughts were violent and unwelcome as well, but these ones she could understand.

She’d done them before, after all.

 

No, it was this ‘Hel’ who had done them before. The killing. The tearing. The gorging.

Not Kalia.

If everything the entity had told her really was true, then that was proof enough that these thoughts were not hers.

She might be Hel now, but she was much more Kalia. And that meant that Kalia was already winning.

 

She just.

Needed.

A.

Distraction.

 

Something to fill her mind with urges and feelings known by Kalia and alien to Hel.

And here he was.

 

“Am I ready to go where?” Thomas asked groggily, yawning, stretching, and rubbing the crust from his eyes.

 

“I don’t have time for your innocence, Tom-Tom.” Kalia slurred, the words leaking out of her mind in the same stream they were thought up in. “I need you badly. Right. Now.”

 

Thomas stuttered a bit as the fog in his mind began to clear, replaced with the heated steam of flustered cluelessness. While this had confused Kalia in the past, now it was beginning to actively frustrate her.

 

“I uh, ju-just give me a second to prepare mentally…” he stammered.

 

Just what the hell was wrong with this man? Even now as he was staring daggers into Kalia’s jutting nipples and quite literally salivating, making a move by himself seemed to be a totally foreign concept to him. 

 

“Are you deaf or something? Your load from last night is still trickling out of me and you’re still afraid of screwing something up? Look.” Kalia cried as she plunged 3 fingers inside of herself and scraped them back out, holding them up and parting them to show Thomas just how much fluid would string between them. It was a lot.

“You did that! Congrats! You got the girl! What else do you have to worry about?”

 

Thomas stood still for a moment, his eyes not meeting Kalia’s as something churned through his mind.

 

“Look, I’m sorry, but I just don’t ‘get’ things the way other people do. I’ve always struggled to tell apart different kinds of love and all of this has just been really intimidating for me.” Thomas replied, his tone clearly also frustrated, but more patient than Kalia. “I’m grateful that you’ve led me through this, but I really just need time to sit and think right now.

 

Thomas bent over, grabbing his shed clothes and sliding his tunic back over his shoulders. The pants were next, but Kalia interrupted before he was fully up.

 

“Please, it doesn’t need to be about love right now.” She begged. “Pretend I’m not here and just use my body to satisfy yourself.”

 

Something flashed in Thomas’s eyes for barely a moment. Something Kalia hated. 

Was that..

Pity?

 

“I’m sorry Kalia, but people are more than their bodies.” Thomas said simply, fastening his trousers as he walked past Kalia towards the door of their room.

 

For a brief moment, Kalia moved to grab the boy and try to pin him down. Surely she would be stronger than a thaumaturgist, right?

Quickly though, the memory of Hel jumping on some poor sap flashed in her mind and she caught her right arm midair with her left.

What the hell was she just about to do?

 

Thomas left, closing the door to allow the still-naked Kalia to have a bit of privacy, but all this token act of kindness served was to make her even angrier.

 

Kalia stumbled back to the bed and fell before it, gripping the linens tightly as she kneeled on the ground. Under her grip, they tore.

 

It felt as if someone had grabbed Kalia’s heart and started to twist it, wrenching each of her arteries and veins out of place in the process.

She couldn’t tell if this was something demonic happening or simply was the pain of being rejected. Either way, it was one of the worst things she had ever felt.

 

“You could-” the entity started.

 

“Shut the fuck up parasite.” Kalia spat back immediately and aloud, her face half buried in the bed.

 

“Hey, I can leave anytime. Less effort on my part, anyway. I was only sticking around to give you advice for the change.” The shadow said.

 

Something twisted in Kalia’s stomach as she lay half keeled over, visions of things that defied explanation flashing before her. Stars, eyes, and so many bodies.

 

I really couldn’t give a shit.

 

“Fine then. I’ll go dark for a while.” The shadow said, probably shrugging.

“Good luck on your own, blockhead.”

 

Kalia was motionless for a few moments as her head danced in bizarre thought. She had do do something about this

Slumping onto the bed, she plunged 2 fingers into her pussy. Then another, then some form her other hand. She pulled, pushed, stretched, rubbed, scratched, pinched, and pressed herself in every way imaginable. Every way possible,

She just needs to feel something, anything, that wasn’t brought on by that damned brat.

 

She reached into her rucksack and drew out her bronze mirror. 

Its handle was rounded and widened at the end, and most importantly it was longer and thicker than her fingers. Often she had mentally compared it to a cock, but never had she thought that she’d ever be desperate enough to use it as one.

 

It fit nicely, snugly, inside of her cunt. The ridges that ringed it to give the fingers something to grip actually felt quite good as they scraped along her walls.

For minutes, she used furiously, even causing a bit of pain as the hard metal would repeatedly slam into Kalia’s cervix.

 

But it just wasn’t enough. Kalia let go of the mirror and it slid out of her slickened nethers with a pop, trailing a line of viscous fluid behind it.

 

What now…

 

As horrid thoughts began pouring into her mind, Kalia tried to replace each one with something nicer. Thoughts of good food and drink, sex, places she hadn’t yet been and things she didn’t think she’d have the time to do. 

Maybe now she could, since she was no longer fated to die soon. 

That is, if she didn’t go insane first.

 

Rather than itching, Kalia’s temples had felt like they were on fire for the last few minutes. They were being pierced with a heat more intense and concentrated than a red-hot needle.

 

And then, all of a sudden, it stopped.

 

And something strange caught Kalia’s attention.

 

She could feel something outside the building, maybe 100 meters away. 

 

Kalia sat up and moved around a bit, but whatever she felt stayed stationary.

 

Not just a delusion, then.

 

She had never felt something quite like this before. While it was external and directional like a sound, it felt nothing like one. Neither did it seem like a smell.

 

The best way that Kalia could describe it to herself was an emotion. An emotion from outside the body and carrying a feeling she had never experienced before.

 

Briefly, she regretted sending away the shadow. It did seem to have a legitimate interest in ensuring her success as a demon.

To try and call it back though, was something that her pride couldn’t let her do.

 

A sixth sense. 

 

Kalia came to reason that that must be what this was, and that her confusion was a natural response to gaining it. A person deaf from birth would probably be confused as well, if they spontaneously gained the ability to hear.

This only left the question: what was it that she was sensing?

 

She cracked open the window to her room and stuck her head out, finding herself on the second story above the winding alley behind the middle mast. 

 

The source was just up ahead.

 

Landing on the cobbled backstreet effortlessly, Kalia stepped over boards and bottles as she closed in on the sensation. The closer she got, the more nuanced the feeling got and Kalia was beginning to feel like it stuck out like a sore thumb.

 

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It was an overcast morning and the eaves of buildings had cast the backstreet in a dull and undefined shadow, but Kalia found that she could walk through it without slowing down. She stepped over unused boards, empty bottles, discarded rags, and not once did she need to pause and step carefully. 

 

Finally the alley broke into a wider street full of commotion. Men bustling left and right carrying boxes and tables to assemble what was going to be a small breakfast market made up of stalls selling fresh bread, fruit, cured meat and cheese.

 

Kalia didn’t even need to scan the market to find what she was looking for. Guided by the 6th sense, her eyes fell on a figure not too far from where she was poking her head from the alley.

It turned out to be the blond farmhand boy that she was sensing, the one she had gotten the pears from yesterday. Among the crowd, he only seemed to glow with an invisible light that Kalia almost felt heating her skin.

 

“Hey!” She cried, prompting a half dozen faces to look her way. One of them was the blondie, to whom she waved too. “Good to see you again!”

 

The men who had turned their heads looked to each other and then to the farmhand, each one of them holding a different amount of surprise on their faces.

 

“Rodrich, please tell me that you know who that is.” One of the older men said to the blondie, who had the most surprised look of them all.

 

“I do…” he trailed off as soon as he could speak.

 

“Right, well, um, can you sort that out then. Please?” The older man asked.

 

The farmhand; Rodrich, seemed to be stuck in a daze for a few moments, although he seems to get over it quickly after a bit of internal debate. He then set a barrel down on the edge of the street and began walking over to Kalia.

 

“Well uh, if you aren’t a sight for sore eyes.” Rodrich said, stopping once he was within a half dozen strides of Kalia and her alley.

 

“Same to you, blondie!” Kalia said, admiring what the farmhand’s rolled-up sleeves were showing.

 

“Thanks…” Rodrich replied, obviously distracted by something. “So what’s all this about?”

 

“Oh, y’know. Was just in the area and spotted you. Say, your fellows seem to be acting rather strangely.” Kalia mentioned, looking over Rodrich’s shoulder to see the other men watching the two of them curiously.

 

Rodrich paused for a few moments again, the odd daze seemingly striking him once more.

 

“I… think that that’s warranted, given the circumstance.” He said after some deliberation.

 

“Oh, what’s going on?” Kalia asked, looking over there at the market and not spotting anything out of the ordinary.

 

“Well for one thing, you aren’t wearing any clothes.” He replied, the novelty of the situation wearing off on him.

 

“Oh!” Kalia said in surprise, glancing down briefly to see that she had been, and still was, fully exposing herself to a group of grown men.

“I suppose that it would seem that way.”

 

“Let’s just cut to the chase then. I’ve got an itch I can’t scratch, and I need your help so badly that I could die.” Kalia spoke, an edge of desperation encroaching in her words that she was unable to hide. She then took a step back’ into the shadows of the eaves, but didn’t move so far as to make it seem like she was trying to back off.

“I want a quickie, right here in the streets.”

 

Kalia could feel a heat rising in her, but at the same time, she felt something similar coming from Rodrich. 

Only he seemed a hundred times as strong. 

Like a mouse coming across a cabin in the woods, she seems almost icy by comparison.

 

“Ah fuck, this is a bad idea. Shit. Damn… Fuck it.” The farmhand muttered, debating with himself momentarily before he reached a decision and stepped fully into the alley. “God, I haven’t been able to get you out of my head since you left.”

 

With every two steps the blondie took, Kalia took a single one backwards. This paltry game of tag only ended when the blondie's hands finally wrapped around Kalia’s waist and she slid hers under his shirt in turn. At this point they were out of immediate view of the Main Street, but if anyone tried to investigate further they would 

 

“I’d ask you how you want it, but I’m supposed to be working right now. You’ll have to be happy with hard and fast.” Rodrich said, pulling Kalia’s body into his own.

 

“Don’t care. Treat me like an object if you want to. Just hurry, I’m dying for this.” Kalia moaned, squishing her breasts into the farmhand’s chest, who turned out to be a fair bit taller than her up close.

 

With that said, blondie untied his trousers and his engorged cock flopped out at once, impacting Kalia’s lower stomach due to their closeness 

As Kalia rose to her tiptoes he guided his member lower, parting her lower lips and settling the head halfway inside of her.

 

“Good god slut, you are soaked.” Rodrich said, retracting at once to slide the full length of his erection along Kalia’s moist cunt. “Look at that. You’ve left a snail trail on my cock.”

 

“Yes, I’m fully aware of how horny I am, so let’s not waste any more time.” Kalia said, dropping down from the tips of her toes to try and skewer herself on the farmhand’s member. Upon realizing that she had missed, she swiftly let out a grunt of frustration.

 

“Say, you’ve got a nicely shaped ass, lady.” The blondie commented, entirely ignoring Kalia’s attempt to penetrate herself. Instead, he reached around behind to grasp each of her asscheeks. “A pity your hips don’t quite match up.”

 

“What? My hips are fine!” Kalia said, shifting her weight from one leg to another and then back again. “The hell kinda standards do you have?”

 

“Hey, I just got a thing for wide hips!” Rodrich admitted, briefly releasing Kalia from his grip to hold his hands up defensively. “The kind that’ll hold up a pair of pants all by itself, without a belt. Real child-bearers, y’know?”

 

“Oh fuck of with that. You’d sooner find a campfire in a clam.” Kalia huffed. “Now do you want to get your dick wet or not?”

 

“I don’t know, it’s pretty wet already.” Rodrich said. “Honestly, I might just be satisfied enough already.”

 

Obviously the blondie was just teasing her. For crying out loud, his dick was already slick with a mixture of precum and vaginal slick. 

Obviously, Kalia wasn’t in any danger of actually being denied what she needed.

 

But as the teasing began to grow more tedious, Kalia’s mind began to wander. It drifted back to the strange feeling of having memories not her own and their vexing contents.

And Kalia began to grow frustrated.

 

“Don’t play games with me.” She spat, reaching down behind and under her ass to grip the cheeky farmhands cock. It began to throb almost immediately, a glob of precum leaking from the tip and smearing against Kalia’s palm. She then slid her hand down to grip it halfway along with her fingers and swiftly guided it between her folds.

 

The farmhand grunted and a gasp of pleasure leaked from Kalia’s mouth as the first wave of stimulation hit them both. Not wanting to dally any further, Kalia began to move 

 

Their face-to-face position was rather awkward for proper penetration, so their movements had to be swift and intense in order for the pleasure to outweigh the strain it took to perform.

At this rate, Rodrich was liable to fully slide out of Kalia’s pussy any moment, and when he did, the relentless teasing would probably continue.

 

This time, it was the blondie who gasped as he felt Kalia’s channel tighten up around him in a way no other girl’s had ever done before. The further out of her he was the more she seemed to cling on to him, and so he’d thrust forwards again to feel that pressure along his whole length. Each time though, Kalia would grip him tighter and Rodrich could edge ever closer to an early climax.

 

“Ah… ha… You’ll have to slow down if yoOh- want this to last any longer!” The farmhand cried through gasped breaths.

 

Kalia thought, could barely hear him. Something about this felt different than usual. More overwhelming, with each aspect of the frantic act seeming so clear and all else being dulled into nothing. Each pulse sending blood through the blondie’s veiny member tickled her. Each pass over a ridge inside her was a spark of lightning on her skin. Each time the head kissed her cervix her mind would scream ‘Yes! More!’

 

“Fuck, I hope your happy!” Rodrich said, warning Kalia that it was too late to prevent his early climax.

 

As a burst of semen was ejected from the farmhand's cock, Kalia was suddenly struck by pleasure on a different level to what she was used to.

With newfound awareness of her astral self, something was flowing into her on the level of her soul as well; something that felt absolutely incredible.

Where her spirit had been sticky, cold, and slow, this new liquid was hot like magma and ran quickly to fill every gap in her body.

 

As the pocket of cum inside her nethers grew, Kalia felt like every part of her had begun to glow with the sustained heat of a hundred summer days. Strangely, it wasn’t too hot.

Like the first moment she entered a sauna in winter, only this time the initial feeling of relief from the cold never faded.

It was divine, the peak of a new kind of extacy so insane that the world seems to freeze around her

 

Kalia had expected her mind to blank out at some point, but it was actually doing the opposite. Rather than the pleasure eating up her thoughts, it seemed to expand them. In the time of a single gasp of ecstasy, Kalia was experiencing a whole knew perspective being laid out in her head.

 

The church had told her that sin was always bad because doing something against the wishes of their god was to put yourself above him, essentially calling yourself a god in the process. Then they’d start talking about the shortcomings of humanity, how we weren’t gods and about how we needed the guidance of one to keep us good. That the greatest thing she could do in the world was to listen to someone else.

The overall tone they explained it in was actually rather sappy and hopeful. That all of her problems could be solved easily and forever as long as she played by their rules.

 

But Kalia liked having problems. They gave her something to strive for and overcome. A direction to point herself in. And if the church wanted her to get rid of that, it meant that they were boring. 

And Kalia despised boredom.

 

That realization early on in her life was what had led her down a path that the nuns hated. As tried to steer her off of it, Kalia had delighted in disobeying them and giving them a problem they couldn’t solve in the form of herself.

Because she loved it when they were wrong.

She loved it when she got away with something that they said would be the end of her.

 

And then it ended.

When pops got sick, her patchwork of a family had lost the centerpiece that they had built themselves on. Her siblings had begun to go their separate ways, and the church wouldn’t tolerate Kalia’s presence in their school without Pops backing her.

 

It left a sour taste in her mouth. Like a third party had swooped in and solved her problem for her, robbing her of the experience of doing it herself. Also, the death of her adoptive father wasn't exactly enjoyable either.

 

And yet, the issue of the shadow child felt different.

Sure, it was another third party that had spontaneously solved her problem, but this time it had replaced them with new ones. It hadn’t removed her direction at all, just changed it.

 

The shadow clearly didn’t have full control over her mind, but it’s intrusions we’re still not welcome. It was one of Kalia’s new problems, and while she didn’t think that she could permanently get rid of the shadow just yet, she certainly didn’t have to listen to it.

 

Another was her own status as a demon. 

Scripture wasn’t exactly very clear on what demons were or how they worked, instead deciding to use them as generic foes or hidden masterminds.

She also had yet to see if the shadow was a perfect source of information about them. Most likely it would continue to hide things from her, telling only about things that would suit its own agenda.

 

Then, as the world slowly moved onward in the background and the final spurt of cum was shot inside of her, Kalia came across a realization.

For the first time in ages, she realized that the church had been right about something.

 

She had consorted with an unknown pagan deity, become a demon, and was now having sex in the street with a man she had met only yesterday while brainstorming how to overthrow the same god that had given her power.

Right now, at this very moment, she was the most sinful she had ever been.

 

And just like the nuns had said, it did make her feel like a god.

 

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