Chapter 8: Chapter 07: Realization

[Thursday, May 9th]

I never considered how nice it is to be able to wake up in your own home until this morning. I wasn't even sure that was going to happen with the way the doctor was beating around the bush. Yet, thanks to Dad, here I am, waking up at home, next to my sister. She’s again using my, now considerably larger, breast as a pillow with her arm and leg thrown across me. At least my breasts don’t hurt anymore, so that’s rather nice all by itself.

Mom was able to borrow a tape measure at the hospital and took some rough measurements, so she could go get me something that would somewhat fit and I could leave the hospital. Although, I would have happily marched out of there without a bra or panties in only a hospital gown, if it meant I didn’t have to stay there any longer.

Unfortunately, this also means I have to go get measured properly again. Mom promised we would go to a small lingerie shop and women’s clothing store close to here. Woohoo! No huge crowds! She said we could get a couple of outfits and bra and panty sets at them, and order the rest of what I need online. It was nice to find out the silk nightgowns she got me before were big enough that they still fit, but all the other things she bought for me are going to have to be passed on to Chinatsu, or returned.

“Hey sleepyhead. Get up, we have things we have to do today.” I say while gently shaking her.

“I don’t wanna, I want to sleep some more.”

“Get up or I’m gonna kiss you!”

“Fine, kiss me, so I can sleep some more.”

Well, so much for that threat. Hmm...

“Are you really going to make me go shopping with Mom alone, especially after what happened last time?”

She sighs, opens her eyes, and looks at me. “That’s cheating Sora-nee, you know very well I wouldn’t do that.”

“Oh? I suppose treating me like a living body pillow is perfectly acceptable huh?”

“What can I say? Your boobs make great pillows, plus you smell good.”

“Spoiled.”

“I’m your little sister, so you are supposed to spoil me.” She says resulting in both of us laughing. I have always loved her quirky sense of humor.

“Okay. Come on let’s get a move on before Mom comes up and scolds us.”

“Nee-chan, aren't you forgetting something?”

“Eh? What’s that?”

“My morning hug, of course.”

“You really are spoiled aren't you?” I say while smiling.

I could care less if she wants a hug since she’s my favorite person in the world. She can all of the hugs she wants. I open my arms and she wraps herself around me while burying her face in my breasts. I slip my arms around her and hug her tightly against me while the cherry blossom fragrance from her hair envelops me. A few minutes later, I give her a peck on the cheek and let go.

“We really do need to get a move on.”

Chinatsu nods, stands up, and then holds out her hands to help me up.

Fifteen minutes later, we walk into the dining room.

“Good morning Mom.” Chinatsu and I say together.

“Good morning girls. Go ahead and sit down, breakfast will be ready in a minute.”

I’m digressing a little here, but Mom isn’t all Japanese; her mother is American and her father is Japanese, which is where where both Mom and Chinatsu got their blue eyes. That is the reason her cooking is a bit out of the ordinary for most Japanese. Like today, we are having fried eggs, ham, toast and salad. Not that it isn’t delicious, as everything she makes is.

That said, when we got home from the hospital yesterday, I helped her make dinner. I can cook, but nowhere near her level, so when she offered to teach me, I happily accepted. I hope to be as good at cooking as she is someday.

After we eat and clean up the dirty dishes, we put on our shoes, or ankle boots in my case. Mom got them for me, so I would start getting used to wearing heels, not that the heels are all that high on these, at five centimeters. It’s still a little difficult, but one side benefit is that I take smaller steps when I’m wearing them, so that could be why Mom is making me wear them as well.

Mom doesn’t seem to be wasting any time in trying to get me used to being a girl. I know I decided to accept it and become a proper girl, but a little slower would be better as far as I am concerned. I’m already working really hard to mind my pronoun usage, which is rather hard considering how many years I spent referring to myself as a male. Not to mention, Chinatsu and Mom have been working with me on walking, sitting and standing as a girl. You might think it’s easy, but try it yourself, and you will find out it's far too easy to fall back into habits.

Originally, Mom had suggested we go to the lingerie shop yesterday after I was released. I was horrified at the idea, but Dad flat out said no, which I was extremely grateful for. I need new underwear, but being in the hospital again was draining for me, so all I wanted to do was go home.

Which brings us to today's excursion. I would prefer to walk because it’s such a beautiful day and the shop isn’t all that far from the house, but I know better than to even attempt that right now. So, we will be taking Mom’s car to the area of two stores we will be going to.

As we head out the door Chinatsu takes my hand and we walk out to Mom’s car. Once we get into the back seat, we buckle ourselves in. Once Mom gets in, we drive for all of 10 minutes to the little lingerie shop Mom told me about. Mom told me last night it’s named after the owner, “Kotori’s Closet.” Cute, huh? That is what Mom and Chinatsu said at least. Mom said she and Kotori have been friends since high school and she frequently shops there because of that.

Oh, did I mention that last night Chinatsu gave me an hour long exposé about why girls’ should care about having cute underwear? Yep, I kid you not, an hour long. My eyes glazed over about ten minutes into it. Maybe someday I might care about having cute underwear, but right now, simply having some that fits me will be more than enough.

Anyway, after Mom parks the car, she looks at us in the rearview mirror.

“Let’s go girls.”

We get out and walk to the short distance to the shop. When Mom enters the shop she calls out to the owner. “Hey Kotori, I’m here.”

“Haruka! Haven’t seen you for a while.” She says as she walks toward us from the back of the store. “How have you and China… who’s the cutie?” She asks while looking at me curiously.

“Ah, yes, that’s right, you don’t know do you? This is my daughter Sora. We adopted her after her Mom passed away in an accident. Sora, this is my friend Kotori Fujisaka.”

“I-I’m pleased to meet you Ms. Fujisaka. I-I’m Sora Kobayashi.” I greet her while nervously stammering a little, and then bow politely. I even managed to remember to use ‘atashi’. I’m so proud of myself, even Mom and Chinatsu have a big grin aimed in my direction.

“Eh? Nonono. Don’t call me that, you’ll make me feel old. Kotori is fine, okay?”

I look at Mom when she says that and Mom nods. Well, whatever. I suppose I don't mind if those two don’t.

“I’m guessing this isn’t simply about you coming to visit with me, so what brings the three of you my little shop?”

“Oh. We need to get Sora new underwear, so she needs to be measured.”

“Sure. Not a problem. Although I’m surprised you didn't go to the mall to buy it, they have a much larger selection after all.”

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“I wanted to see my friend and besides, this little one is shy, and doesn't like large crowds.” Mom tells her while placing her hand on my shoulder, causing me to blush slightly.

“Okay. Sora, let’s go get you measured.”

I knew it was going to happen, but here we go again. Shame jumps to the forefront and I turn beet red. Chinatsu, as always, comes to my rescue. She lightly squeezes my hand as if saying ‘It’s okay, I’m here with you.’

“If you don’t mind, I’ll be going with her Kotori. She’s really shy around people she doesn’t know, and she needs my help since she recently got out of the hospital.”

“My, aren't you two close.” She says while smiling. Then she gestures for us to follow. After we enter the fitting room, I let out a huge sigh, and remove my blouse, camisole, and skirt.

“Wow. It’s been a while since I have seen someone your age with a figure like this. You must be really popular with the boys.” She says winking at me. Blushing even harder, I shake my head.

She laughs lightly and takes my measurements. Her eyes open a little wider and she tells me incredulously, “Wow, your bust is 76, waist is 56, hips are 84, and you’re a C cup. You’re almost as big as I am. Okay you can get dressed again.”

I knew my boobs were bigger, but my hips as well? Five centimeters for my boobs and six centimeters for my hips. What the hell nanites?! Enough already, especially when you made me hurt so badly when you made these changes! Regardless of the fact that it’s embarrassing as hell being seen while being measured again, there is the cost. Chinatsu told me Mom spent over ¥86,000 at the lingerie shop in the mall. I was simply flabbergasted to find out how much girl’s underwear costs.

I get dressed as all of this runs through my mind. Returning to Mom, Kotori tells her my measurements, which makes Mom widen her eyes slightly. Why she is acting so surprised I have no idea since she had a rough idea of how big my breasts were when she took a quick measurement of me at the hospital. Hmm, well, maybe it's the fact my hip measurement changed as well.

“Do you still have your silk and satin preferences Haruka?” Kotori asks Mom.

“Of course, they feel more comfortable against your skin than the other fabrics do.” She replies to Kotori and then turns to me. “You know your measurements, so why don't you take Chinatsu and have her help you pick out a few sets? I’m going to catch up with Kotori while you girls shop.”

I look at Chinatsu, who nods at me. “Okay Mom. We will be back in a little bit.” I tell Mom and we head off to discover my new underwear.

Twenty minutes later, we walk over to where Mom and Kotori are talking. Chinatsu sets the seven sets we picked out beside the register. Yes, she actually made me help choose them. She told me, ‘You'll have to do this on your own at some point.’ I had no idea silk and satin were so expensive, but Chinatsu said Mom would have a fit if we tried to choose anything else. Apparently, Mom believes that silk and satin are a lot more comfortable to wear for long periods of time.

Kotori moves to the register and rings up the sets and when she tells Mom the total I’m aghast at the cost, but Mom doesn’t even bat an eye. Even Chinatsu doesn’t seem to be surprised, but to me it’s a huge sum of money, ¥31,536.

After Mom takes out her credit card and pays for them, Kotori bags everything up.

“Sora, it was nice to meet you. I hope you come back and visit again.”

“Uh, it was nice meeting you as well Kotori. I’m sure I will at some point. Thank you for your help.” I reply politely to Kotori. Although, as things stand right now, unless it’s with Mom or Chinatsu I won't be coming back here. It’s not that I don’t think she’s nice or anything, it’s that I find places like this embarrassing still.

“Kotori, I'll see you next time. Though I'll try to not make it as long this time. Take care, alright?”

“You take care as well Haruka. It was nice seeing you again. Bye girls.” She says and waves to us. Chinatsu and I bow politely and wave back.

“Alright girls, on to the next stop.” Mom says, then stops to turn and look at me. She asks me quietly, “How are you feeling Sora? You aren't too tired are you?”

“No Mom, I’m fine. I promise I'll tell you if I’m having a problem.”

Mom nods and leads the way out of the store as Chinatsu and I follow along behind her hand-in-hand. I tried to take the bag from Kotori, but as you can guess, that didn’t happen. I think Chinatsu is being over-protective as always. I’m still somewhat weak and tire easily, but I’m fairly sure I could carry a bag of underwear.

Since it’s only a short distance to the store Mom had chosen to shop at for my outfits, we walk while enjoying the pleasant weather. One thing I don’t enjoy though, is all of the men who stare at us as we walk. Some of the looks we receive from them make my skin crawl. It makes me wonder how women deal with this.

Chinatsu, psychic as always when it comes to what I’m thinking or feeling, holds my hand a little tighter to reassure me and tells me, “Just ignore them.” Thankfully, we reach the store without incident and go inside where we are greeted by a clerk. Heading to the teen section, Mom immediately starts delving into racks of skirts and dresses.

“Umm, Mom, can we get me some jeans instead. I’m not really comfortable wearing skirts or dresses.”

“Sora, that’s the point. Wearing a skirt or dress is perfectly natural for girls. It might feel odd for a little while, but soon you’ll be used to it. Besides, have you ever seen Chinatsu or me wear jeans or slacks?”

I think about what Mom told me. I can't recall ever seeing either of them in anything but skirts or dresses, outside of gym for Chinatsu. She bought a dress for me to leave the hospital in the first time, and this skirt and blouse the second time.

Sighing and shaking my head, I realize, ‘There’s no use trying to argue with her over this. I would lose anyway.’ So, it looks like this is what I'll be wearing from now on. While I’ve spent my time pondering all this, Mom has made several selections and hands them to me to go try on. I’m alarmed when I see the one on top is a mini-skirt. The one I’m wearing is knee length and it’s embarrassing enough. “Mom, there is no way I can wear something like this!”

“Of course you can Sora. I’m sure it will look very cute on you.”

“That isn’t the reason I said I can’t wear it.”

“Sora, need I reiterate what I said a few minutes ago?”

“No Mom, but…”

“No buts Sora. If it fits and looks as good as I think it will, we will be buying it and you will be wearing it. It’s a simple as that, is that clear?” She looks at me for a few moments and then sighs. “I’m not trying to be mean or make an already difficult situation even more stressful for you. I’m not sure if I can explain it as well as your father could, but basically, the longer it takes for you to be able to act like a normal girl the more likely it is that you might be found out. There are people out there that wouldn't hesitate to hurt or even kill you if it meant that they could find a solution to the population problem. Your father and I will do anything to protect you. If that means making you a little uncomfortable to help keep you safe we will happily do that. Do you understand?”

After she finishes, all of the things I have been thinking come to mind. My heart aches because I feel like I’m nothing but a selfish and ungrateful brat. I never realized this was all to protect me. I mean, it’s true no one ever explained it to me like this, but it’s not as if she really had much of a chance. I was awake all of four hours the day I got out of the hospital. The next morning I end up going right back to the hospital. Mom, Dad, and Chinatsu have had their hands full dealing with me the last few days. I never even considered how stressful this has been for them.

My head and shoulders droop as hot tears begin falling.

Mom steps over and pulls me to her, hugging me tightly. “I’m sorry Sora. I’m worried and I forget how hard this has to be for you. I really don’t want to see you hurting. All I want is for you to be safe and lead as normal of a life as you can.”

“That isn't why I’m upset Mom. I’m sorry… I’m sorry I’ve been so ungrateful. I never even thought of what I’ve put you through, or how hard this has been for you. I realize you’ve been doing all of this for me now. I promise I'll do whatever you want me to from now on without complaint.”

Chinatsu steps up behind me, slipping her arms around my waist and rests her chin on my shoulder. “Sora-nee, for such a smart girl you can be really dumb sometimes. Don’t you see we are doing this because we love you? I would happily take on the whole world for your sake. You ought to know that by now. Mom and Dad feel the same way.”

Mom wipes away my tears, and combs my bangs out of my face with her fingers. “Your sister is right Sora, you don’t think we adopted you out of pity do you? We did it because you have always been a part of our family. The only difference now is we have a piece of paper that says so, alright?”

I nod, take a deep breath, and slowly let it out to help calm myself. I’ve been on one hell of an emotional rollercoaster lately. I wonder what is wrong with me? It takes a couple of minutes, but I finally get myself back under control.

“Are you ready to finish shopping so we can go eat lunch?”

“Sure Mom.”

“Okay, Chinatsu why don't you go with her to help her try those on?”

Once we reach the fitting room, I undress, and Chinatsu helps me into the first outfit, which is nothing less than a light green mini-skirt and a bright yellow, silk, sleeveless, V-neck blouse. When I step out of the fitting room, I look at the mirror and catch my breath, captivated by the beautiful girl looking at me. I think, ‘Wow! Mom was right, it really does look great.’ That’s not to say I still don't feel awkward in this, but I have to admit it’s extremely cute and I look damn good in it. I step away from the mirror to go find Mom, so I can show her.

It occurs to me that form does follow function. Therefore, if I dress like a girl I should eventually begin to feel like one.

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