Chapter 11: CH 11

Oil paintings are the paintings to be displayed in the exhibition.

I like coloured pencils, but I want to do my best with the most familiar material.

I looked at the oil paints grandpa gave.

So many different colours.

The world has gotten better.

If you combine what’s in the box and what’s neatly organized, there are so many options, that I don’t know if I can select one even after looking at them for all today.

Seeing a box full of paint fills my heart. 

There are even colors that were too expensive to even come up with in the past.

I don’t have to worry about the paint cost.

Thanks to this, the process of expressing colours seems to be much easier than before.

“It’s an exhibition.”

By the way, I had no idea that I would get the opportunity so quickly.

Based on the experience I had to endure in the past, I decided not to be impatient this time, but to slowly build up my skills.

I wanted to find out the way people are thinking now and how art has evolved.

Surprisingly, the world was full of geniuses like Pablo Picasso.

I could see how narrow my vision was when I was staying in a small town in France.

I’m excited to see what kind of artist will surprise me again in the future.

I want to meet them, but that doesn’t mean I can’t miss this great opportunity.

Now I have to give my all.

“Starry Night didn’t get good recognition, but Irises did well. Theo said that it caught the attention from afar. It’s a lively, really beautiful picture.”

Theo helped my painting to be exhibited at the exhibition Ande d’Efandant.

My kind little brother who suggested that I participate in the exhibition, because the money he send out every month was not enough.

Although I was disappointed that there was no response even though I had given my best. 

Theo cheered me again and again saying that I should open a personal exhibition the following year.

Did he live happily?

He looked unwell.

The financial situation became difficult, and the older brother he had supported for over 10 years took his own life, so he must have resented me a lot.

Still, on the day I took the brush again like this after committing the unforgivable act….

will you still support me, brother.

Will you give me courage my dear, brother.

‘ no.’

I must not be weak.

Another life that came like a miracle and I cannot repeat the same mistake as before.

In this life, I will live how you wished Vincent Van Gogh should be brother.

As a Great painter not as a Crazy painter.

For that, I should make a great impression on my first exhibition.

What should I draw 

It should be the most beautiful picture I’ve ever drawn.

Then……….

there is only one thing left to draw.

The image is clear.

There is only one thing that can best describe me, Vincent Van Gogh.

Sunflower.

There are only sunflowers in me, golden flowers that embrace the sun.

I looked at the 30F canvas.

Colour spreads over white paper. 

As gold melts, the brilliant yellow gradually catches the eye.

I just follow the flow with the heat boiling in my heart.

‘ Ah….’

‘ it isn’t here?’

I need chrome yellow and can’t find it.

Even looking through the paint cans, somehow the most important colour is missing among all the paints. 

“Grandpa…” 

When I went to the living room, my grandfather is taking a strange pose. 

He is lying on his knees, his eyes closed and his tongue sticking out. 

“…….What are you doing?”

“Yoga. Come and join me.”

“no, I do not want.”

“It’s good.”

“There is no more chrome yellow.”

Grandpa loosened his pose and narrowed his eyebrows.

“It will probably be in a big vat.”

As my grandfather walked into the studio, he pulled out an iron barrel that was a little smaller than my torso.

“Why is this so big?” 

“This is not popular among artists these days. There are improved products, and there are rumours that they are bad for the body, so they are not used often.”

“Why is it not good for the body..?”

” Haven’t we talked about lead poisoning before? It’s also in Chrome Yellow.” 

The paint I ate the most was chrome yellow.

I did a lot of things that were bad for my body.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t paint.

It’s a must have colour. 

“The improved colour may be in a tube.”

Grandpa took the smartphone. 

Searched for something, and he stroked his chin.

“You’ll get it out tomorrow.”

“thank you, Grandpa.”

“So, what are you going to draw?”

“Sunflower.”

“sunflower?”

It’s a nonsensical look.

“You’ll find out later.”

“Hoho… You look confident. By the way, Little Hun, how about finding another way to draw without using chrome yellow?”

“why?”

“Chrome yellow is very discoloured. When exposed to light for a long time, it may turn brown, and in severe cases, it may appear grayscale.”

I am aware of some discolouration. 

“Is it that bad?” 

“Well. It would be quicker to see it with your own eyes. where……where..…”

Grandpa turned on the TV and he manipulated something with his smartphone.

How can he do such a magical thing so casually, where several screens pass by in a flash?

It’s just amazing.

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“Come on, look at this.”

It is a picture of a sunflower signed Vincent in the flowerpot. 

It look a lot alike, but it isn’t mine.

I’ve never used such a dull colour before.

With that in mind, I took a closer look. 

“Huh.”

it’s my picture

It’s not my work…., but the way the paint is applied thickly is very similar to mine.

“How is it? Maybe Van Gogh will be surprised when he sees it……Don’t you think.?”

He really is surprised.

“Chromium yellow contains a component called chromate, and when it reacts to LED lighting, the colour changes quickly.”

“What is an LED light?”

“It’s literally lighting. The electricity bill was low, so it was used in many exhibition halls. They say that they are now being replaced with smart LEDs because of inducing discolouration.”

I didn’t know the lighting would change the picture so much.

This is at a level to reconsider.

“I’ll look for something else.”

“Yeah, That’s good. If it doesn’t work, ask Grandpa.”

“Yes.”

Returning to the studio, I lined up the yellow-based paints.

My favourite colour is Cadmium Yellow.

“Little Hun.”

“Yes.”

“If you look under the desk there, you will see a wooden box, try that too.”

I looked under the desk and saw a wooden box with an owl picture on it. 

When I opened it, I found 36 colour paints and a few brushes.

There is also a paint knife, and it looks expensive at first glance. 

“Can I really use this?” 

“Yes, but you can’t eat it.”

“I don’t eat paints anymore.”

But……..

I’m a little curious about what Cobalt Violet No. 482 will taste like.

“Whoh.…”

I took a deep breath and squeezed the paint.

I think it would be difficult to draw with a large palette for a long time because of my small body and the lack of strength.

The canvas is also large compared to the body.

I put down the paint and stood up. I swallowed my saliva and picked up the brush. 

Repainting sunflower.

There was nothing I could do without drawing a place shimmering in gold.

A wheat field that fully embraces the blazing sun.

Is there anything more nobler than the labor of a farmer who sweats, cultivates and harvests wheat conceived by grace?

I wanted to be their sun. 

If that was not possible, I wanted to be a handful of ears of wheat that fell on a wheat field, to be a small comfort to the honest sweaty farmer.

I wanted to put a little hope on the dinner table shared with the family while leading his weary body.

I wanted to give him the courage to work tomorrow.

I didn’t mind when they called me a madman.

I didn’t mind when they didn’t understand my painting.

Even if I was an artist who could not sell his paintings, I still painted because art is everything I had.

It was then. 

My hand stopped moving. 

Seizures came from time to time, and auditory hallucinations took over my reasoning ability.

I ended my life on my own because I lost the reason that kept me alive. 

I am the sunflower.

Like a sunflower longing for the sun, I longed for art.

A withered sunflower that cannot lift its head.

Wishing for rebirth in the dark dirt. 

A small sunflower that sprouted with the grace of the sun and welcomed the bright light.

Let’s draw such a sunflower that won’t give in to harsh winds.

I started to apply paint was to the canvas.

______________________

‘ It’s already time.’

Ko Sooyeol, who thought that he couldn’t feed his grandson just pizza every day, suddenly checked his watch while studying cooking.

It is past midnight.

Light is leaking through the crack in the studio door.

It looked like his grandson fell asleep while drawing. 

Ko Sooyeol headed to the studio. 

He carefully opened the door to avoid waking up his grandson, but there he saw his grandson sweating profusely and painting with his brush.

As he was about to say it was time to sleep, the painting of Hun came into his eyes, and he was speechless for a moment.

A single sunflower, as if swallowed by the sun, breathed as if it was alive.

one petal.

Each giant flower has its own life and functions as a single flower.

There was no background.

like an ink painting.

Only one sunflower petal shone.

How sublime is this

‘ Oh My God.’

He knew better than anyone that his grandson had a talent for drawing.

It’s because the drawings are quite realistic and unique, unlike a child’s.

He liked the drawing he drew as a gift for him very much.

It was the painting of a person, who fell in love with Korean painting after seeing for the first time. 

However, the [ Sunflower ] that’s completed with oil paints on canvas was different.

How can a painting shine? 

Life was being born from the tip of Hun’s brush, which he reached out without a single hesitation.

As [ Sunflower ] was completed, the high sequence shuddered as if the cells of his body were awakening.

Ko Sooyeol was stunned

Hun, who couldn’t say anything until he finished the painting wiped his sweat.

After putting down the brush, Hun took a few steps back and checked the painting.

But he suddenly hit someone, so he turned his head and looked at the person.

Ko Sooyeol, unable to control the overwhelming emotions, lifted up his smiling grandson in his hands and rotated him in the air.

“Ha ha ha! this guy! This guy…! You really drew something amazing….”

As a painter and as a grandfather, he couldn’t be happier than this.

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