Chapter 25: Ch. 24 Too Much to Bare

By dawn, a storm had arrived. Julie hadn’t noticed any signs the day before, but, as Sammy explained, the storms here were different to those back in Schtat. With nothing but open ocean to the west, huge storms and fierce gales would roll in and then die out after a day or so.

Although the rain and wind died down by midafternoon, Yewry’s guards suggested waiting another day for the mud to harden and locals to clear any fallen trees and such. Sammy deferred to their experience.

Of course, she didn’t waste the time. She and Julie read and danced and even just held each other, sometimes saying lots, sometimes silent, always close. Mostly staying to their room, Yewry barely so much as saw Julie over the two days. That rather frustrated her, having hoped to use this time to show off her charms, but she was kept too busy to cause trouble by her friend.

Sammy made sure to be a good guest, playing the piano for an hour each day. She’d done the same for each of Yewry’s friends. Julie had found it awkward to travel with Yewry at first, but now didn’t mind since it meant she could keep on hearing Sammy perform.

On the third day, they finally set out. After all that time spent indoors, though, Julie found the morning chill bitingly cold. When they made their first stop, she confessed that to Sammy.

Sammy chuckled. “You see, we are heading north now and into the end of winter at that. Furthermore, it is not so obvious, but we have climbed to a rather impressive height.”

As she finished, her gaze was noticeably distant. Julie turned, following where Sammy looked, not seeing anything noticeable. “What is it?” she eventually asked.

“Do you remember when we crossed into Sonlettier? We can see even farther than then, not because we are higher up, but because the land here slopes down to the water.”

Julie carried on staring out, slowly understanding what Sammy had meant. It was all in her head, she knew, but the horizon really did start to seem so far away. When she turned around, the horizon came all too close: still more hills to climb. Thankfully, Yo’can had guided them well and they had hardly needed to go by foot.

At the end of the day, they stopped at a village just before the mountain pass, the island itself loosely divided into east and west by this mountain range. Well, even calling it “loosely divided” was an exaggeration. It was simply called a mountain range because it really was too big to be called a clump of hills.

However, this was the last stop for a while and so the place to stop. The village was rather artificial, built around a natural spring that had been dug out into a sizeable pond. Intended for traders, it had stables and an inn, and it benefited from those traders, a modest selection of food for the remote location.

Despite that, Sammy noticed Julie didn’t eat much at dinner. She didn’t comment on it in front of Yewry and the guards, but, once they retired to their room, she brought Julie into a gentle embrace.

“You said your monthly kept a timely schedule?” Sammy whispered.

Julie stiffened for a moment, the topic a bit uncomfortable again now that time had passed since they’d last talked about it, but she quickly caught herself. “I’m prepared for it.”

Sammy rubbed Julie’s back, tracing a small circle. “Please, do be indulgent, otherwise I shan’t be.”

Julie hadn’t heard a threat like that before, a snort of laughter escaping her. But she didn’t laugh any more than that, no, definitely the worst threat she had ever heard. “Okay,” she whispered.

Although it was early, they changed into their nightclothes and snuggled into the bed together. Usually, they would sleep side-by-side, hands joined. But, right now, they weren’t sleeping. Julie lay on her back and Sammy on her side, now tracing small circles on Julie’s covered midriff.

Julie wouldn’t have ever thought that, at times like this, what she needed was someone touching her. Yet she did. It was… nice. It was nice to not be alone. She needed to feel loved and safe, and she understood now why Sammy had also wanted this. It was so very reassuring when her body and mind weren’t like they were supposed to be.

Under Sammy’s ministrations and gentle conversation, Julie soon fell asleep. Sammy looked on with a smile, would have happily stared all night, but tomorrow always came and she needed to be ready for it.

With the worst having passed in the evening and night, Julie was able to ride by the morning. And although Sammy noticed Yewry looked curious at Julie riding side-saddle, she also knew Yewry would make a fuss over the truth—disbelieving it and such—so she didn’t say anything. No, she just kept close to Julie’s side, checking in with her, getting anything she needed.

The slower pace helped Julie cope with the day’s travel and they’d made it through the pass by nightfall, reaching the trader’s stop on the other side. Now heading downhill, the next couple of days saw them travel farther, Julie’s period coming to an end.

In the early afternoon of the following day, dark clouds gathered in the sky, so they cut their day short in a town that stretched back to ancient times.

“You see, long before the Catastrophe, these lands were inhabited by small tribes of people that were like animals,” Sammy told Julie. “Then a great empire that covered most of southern Hufen sent armies to settle villages here, mostly for fishing, hunting, and wood. As they went farther north, though, the soldiers became unhappy with the winters’ cold. This eventually led to them making bath houses, first using springs that are naturally hot and later on by heating spring water. The Dworfen name for these heated bath houses loosely comes from the name of those old soldiers: kentoes.”

Julie heard half of that, understanding more from the sights. The town really did look old and out of place. It was organised along straight roads that were paved with large slabs, buildings made from bulky stone, often with arches in their designs, and what original stone there was had been weathered over the centuries, pockmarked with repairs.

Despite its size, it wasn’t that busy. Sammy said it would have been a major garrison back in ancient times, now just a town far from the coast, not enough local food to support a large population. Julie took Sammy’s word for it.

That said, it wasn’t empty, many of those well-to-do and their entourages around. Then there were traders, bringing in good food for the distinguished guests, and the various family businesses that ran the inns and bath houses.

After two weeks of travelling, Yewry was ready to be one such well-to-do. “We shall stay at a ro’can tonight.”

Sammy smiled, whispering that to Julie.

“Ro’can?” Julie asked, wondering if it had something to do with Yo’can.

“It’s an inn with heated baths,” Sammy replied.

Julie nodded.

So Yo’can asked one of the locals, then led them down the street, took a right, and carried on to the outskirts of the town. Before they even reached the buildings there, the smell snuck up on them. Though weak, it was pungent and unpleasant, Julie trying to rub the stink out of her nose.

Sammy saw that, giggling behind her hand. “I am told all hot springs are rather… odious, but that we should quickly get used to it,” she said.

“Why does it smell?” Julie asked.

“Mm, I can’t say,” Sammy said softly, tapping her chin. “It’s thought because the water is heated by volcanic activity, but we have no way to really say.”

Though that didn’t help Julie at all—no idea what “volcanic activity” was—she didn’t ask again, now more interested in the ro’can itself.

Seeing it, she realised that most of the buildings in the town were a single storey, making the town feel so much bigger than it really was. The ro’can was also one storey and very broad, maybe as wide as four houses, with a dozen windows that were just vertical slits. While it was made of bricks, the “bricks” were large pieces of brown stone that had been cut, no cement between them that Julie could see—like the other ancient buildings. It was both impressive and backwards, she thought, taking way more effort than a normal house needed.

It felt more Dworfish to Julie once inside, the decorations what she was used to. There were boards with foreign words carved into them, a few potted plants like those she’d seen in other inns here, and the furniture was also about the same. The wood and nature was very different to the overbearing bricks.

It didn’t take long for Yewry to organise rooms for them, then they were led down the left hallway. It ran along the front of the building, the slit windows looking out and rooms on the right side.

Yewry spoke to Sammy as they walked. “As we’re pilgrims, I booked rooms with a shared bath. Should the men go in first or after dinner?”

“I would prefer to go in after dinner, but either is fine for us. As your guests, we shall be accommodating,” Sammy said.

Yewry pursed her lips, trying not to frown. “We shall have our turn after dinner, then,” she said.

Sammy smiled and, arriving at their room, she told Julie what Yewry had said. But Julie was a bit distracted by the room to really listen. It was very simple: a square room with a pair of beds on either side and a door at the back. The slanted ceiling made room for a window above that door, not that much light leaked in, sky still overcast.

By the lack of a reaction, Sammy guessed Julie either hadn’t heard her or didn’t understand. Well, she was happy to leave it a surprise, so she joined Julie in inspecting the room.

The beds were firm, solid wood with a straw mattress, but not entirely uncomfortable. And there was a pleasant warmth to the room that came from the floor, Sammy taking her shoes off to feel it. Rather liking it, she then sat down, patting next to her for Julie to join.

Julie was reluctant, thinking the floor would be cold, but Sammy’s patting became more energetic and soon was hard to resist. Giving in, she walked over and eased herself down.

There was a wave of unpleasantness at first, kind of feeling like she’d sat in a warm puddle, but then her skin realised it wasn’t wet and calmed down. Gradually, the heat sunk into her. That felt nice. Slowly but surely, the warmth spread through her, bringing her back to the warm weather of Schtat.

“Lovely, isn’t it?” Sammy asked, breaking the silence.

“Yeah,” Julie mumbled.

Sammy reached over, holding Julie’s hand, then shuffled over so their shoulders were touching. Finally, she rested her head on Julie’s shoulder.

Neither said anything, simply sitting like that and enjoying the moment—until their bottoms started to go numb. Rather reluctant to part from Julie, Sammy opted to push Julie over instead of getting up, the two of them giggling as they now lay on the floor, very uncomfortable, but neither was willing to sit up.

After a good hour of them (well, Sammy) messing about, a servant announced dinner. So they got up and neatened their clothes and Sammy put her shoes back on, then they joined Yewry and the guards for dinner.

It was a simple meal, worthy of pilgrims, but Sammy quietly explained to Julie that it was a traditional meal for ro’cans. “Grease and wine and such can be hard to rinse off, so ro’cans tend to only serve ascetic food and drink.” But that wasn’t entirely accurate, the food rather spicy, Julie slick with a light sweat by the end.

On the way back to their room, Yewry said to Sammy, “It is our turn to bathe now, but do you want some privacy? I understand foreigners are… modest.”

Sammy smiled, a hint of laughter in her eyes, not that Yewry could see them. “Thank you for your concern, but please do as you wish.”

“Very well.”

Shortly after arriving back at their room, Julie asked, “What were you two talking about?”

“Oh, just that it’s our turn to bathe.”

Julie nodded, a smile on her lips at the thought of a hot bath—her time back in Hopschtat had really left a mark on her. And Sammy smiled to herself, amused at how Julie still hadn’t realised what was about to happen.

“Shall we?” Sammy asked, walking to the far end of the room.

“Sure,” Julie said and started to follow.

Sammy turned around and held up a finger. “I shall relieve myself, if I may have a moment.”

“Ah, yeah,” Julie mumbled, immediately changing course to her bed.

With a giggle, Sammy disappeared into the other room for a long minute, then returned holding a small tub of steaming water (a slight soapiness to it), two towels over her shoulder. “It is a politeness to wipe ourselves down first,” she said.

Julie frowned, confused, but nodded. “Okay.”

It was the first time they both washed at the same time and oh did Julie know. While Sammy went about it without a fuss, Julie awkwardly sat with her back to the tub, only ever turning as much as she needed to to rinse her cloth, face hot the whole time. Fortunately for her, the towels were large enough to give her a sense of modesty when she’d finished.

But, when Julie turned around and saw Sammy walking to the door while wearing only a towel, she froze up. Her gaze had so much leg to wander up, yet what she couldn’t tear her eyes off were Sammy’s shoulders. There was something so interesting about them, about how the muscles tensed and relaxed, how the bones moved with Sammy’s every step. Beautifully pale skin that had never glimpsed the sun, like living marble, a sheen to it from the wiping down.

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And when Sammy turned her head around, looking at Julie over her shoulder, well, Julie forgot to breathe, pierced by that gaze that seemed to know exactly how attractive the sight was.

In a lazy voice, a little deeper than usual, Sammy asked, “Coming?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Julie said, bowing, having fallen all the way back to her training.

As if Sammy didn’t look beautiful enough already, she softly smiled. Julie had to close her eyes, feeling like she really would forget to breathe this time.

Having had her fun, Sammy carried on into the far room, holding the door for Julie. After a second to recover, Julie hurried after. The room was like a water closet, a toilet inside, but there was also a drain in the floor and a table. On the far side was another door too.

Sammy continued on and opened this door, holding it after she stepped through. Julie followed her.

This room was rather large. In the middle of the stone floor was a sunken bath, the edge of it neatly cut stone, and a stream of water trickled into it from a pipe. It wasn’t quite full, but the size of it—four strides across and along—meant it wouldn’t spill over if someone got in.

And very, very slowly, it dawned on Julie that they would be sharing this bath.

Sammy strode over to the edge. She took off her towel and folded it in half, then slipped into the water. Julie had looked away as soon as the towel had fallen, her face prickling with heat—which had nothing to do with the warmth of the room.

“Please, join me.”

Those three words, little more than a whisper, cut through Julie’s haze. Still, she dithered for a bit longer before shuffling over. Once at the water’s edge, she noticed that Sammy wasn’t looking at her, a small thing she was very thankful for.

It took all her nerve and it took a second to gather it, but she finally let go of her towel. Trying to rush and be careful, she lowered herself into the water, biting back the hiss as it burned, yet didn’t dare stop. She felt around until her foot found the bottom, then turned around to sit on the submerged step. The water only half-covered her chest, though, so she slumped, bringing the veil of water to her neckline.

She had never needed to sigh as much as she did at this moment.

It was just, before she got too comfortable, she looked down and realised the water didn’t exactly hide anything. With the waves from her entry settling down, it was clear how little it hid.

“Isn’t it lovely?”

Julie’s head jerked to the side, her arms coming up to cover her chest. But, when she saw Sammy’s face, well, Sammy was looking her in the eye. She didn’t know what to think. One second, two, yet Sammy’s gaze never flickered down at all. And they were so close, Julie couldn’t see any more than Sammy’s face, so it wasn’t like Sammy could see anything but her face too.

“Y-yes,” Julie mumbled.

Sammy softly smiled. “Of course, I will catch a glimpse eventually, but this is a place to relax and I hope you will do so. If you could trust me, I won’t disappoint you.”

Julie thought for a moment before nodding. Sammy gave a last smile, then turned her gaze to the far wall. With that, Julie lowered her arms, soon following Sammy’s gaze.

Other than the bath, there were a few benches around the edges of the room, dim light spilling in through a pair of slit windows (horizontal this time) that ran across the top of the wall; most of the light came from four oil lamps on stone outcroppings, warm and soft.

Taking a deep breath, Julie remembered the earlier smell and was very thankful she was used to it, otherwise the room would’ve been just horrible. Her thoughts drifting away from Sammy, she became more relaxed. The hot water certainly helped with that. It was so different to the sweaty heat of a muggy day, more like lying on cool grass in the sun’s warmth. Just like those times, she wanted to close her eyes and lie back, drift off to sleep.

Then Sammy’s hand found hers, resting on top. Instantly pulled back to reality, Julie’s heart beat quick and hard in her chest, only slowly calming down. Once she settled down, though, she turned her hand over, holding Sammy’s hand back and giving it a squeeze. Sammy squeezed back, then twisted her hand until their fingers entwined.

For that moment, Julie’s whole world was the sensation on her fingertips, on that connection between them. It comforted her. There was just something so normal about holding Sammy’s hand that it made even sitting next to her naked into something normal.

Rain started to fall, drumming against the roof. Heavy rain. It sent a chill down Julie’s spine, the sound of rain somehow cold, and she tried to snuggle into the water to warm up. Sammy giggled, then stood up and stepped forward.

Having come to peace with the situation, Julie offered no resistance as Sammy’s hand pulled her up, following Sammy to the middle of the bath. It was deeper here, down another step, the water coming up to their chins when Sammy stopped and turned.

Again, Julie noticed how faithfully Sammy was looking her in the eye. And, in the end, it was Julie who glanced down first, nervous, but she caught herself quickly and jerked her head up.

Sammy tittered, such beautiful notes of laughter. In the stone room, they echoed, almost making it sound like there were more of her. The thought of that terrified Julie, just one enough of a struggle to keep up with.

“Shall we dance?” Sammy asked, her smile warm and inviting.

Julie hesitated, then nodded.

Sammy waited for that nod before she began. She brought her hand to Julie’s waist, but didn’t step closer. Slow, so very slow, she stepped to the side, guiding Julie to step the other way, gradually the two circling around.

It wasn’t really dancing, but Julie didn’t complain. There was something so peaceful about how they floated from step to step. The sound of rain, the warmth, staring into Sammy’s eyes: Julie couldn’t ask for more.

No, she could. She wanted to be closer, to hold Sammy, to hear her voice, to be kissed. She wasn’t really thinking about it, those just the impulses building up inside her.

Meanwhile, Sammy was content, content like she hadn’t been since Julie had last made her feel so content. Truly, she hadn’t expected Julie to go along with any of this.

Yet here they were.

“I love you,” she said, and she loved the shy smile Julie made, loved how Julie squirmed with giddy embarrassment.

However, it was short-lived.

“Yo’can said she will have a turn after us,” Yewry said, striding across the room.

Julie was facing that way and saw Yewry first, immediately freezing up. Sammy sighed, then turned her head around, just in time to see Yewry also freeze.

Yewry worked through her surprise, thinking she had walked in on a man naked while herself in a state of relative undress. Only, that surprise had kept her gaze stuck on Julie and, now, she saw through the water what were clearly breasts, albeit small ones. She didn’t exactly know what a man’s bare chest was supposed to look like, but she had read they were flat and firm and muscled—not at all like a woman’s.

And Julie felt that stare, a kind of fear gripping her. She wanted it to stop, needed to stop it, yet her body wouldn’t move and mind wouldn’t think. A rabbit scared to death.

It was only a second—but what a long second it was for her—before Sammy stepped to the side, coming between Julie and Yewry.

“This is not a place to stare.”

Those words echoed, their coldness washing over Yewry and waking her up, breath catching in her throat. The shred of pride which she had so desperately clung to this entire journey kept her from running away, but it couldn’t stop her from looking away. After a second, she continued shuffling over.

While Yewry entered the bath, Sammy shepherded Julie back to the steps they’d been sitting on, so they all came to sit in a row, Sammy in the middle.

A small blessing, the drumming of the rain grew louder and covered up the awkward silence. Although, for Sammy, there seemed to be no such awkwardness. She tilted back her head and closed her eyes, still holding Julie’s hand.

At first, Julie was still locked in her anxiety, entirely passive. But the seconds chipped away at that until she felt like she could breathe again. Unfortunately, that left her to feel the emotions she had been trying to escape: a sense of shame and indecency. From that came a crippling shyness which made her doubt she could ever look Yewry’s way again.

And she knew that was stupid, even weird. Living at the barracks had included some immodesty. Really, now that she thought about it, she had “bathed” with other women almost every day of her life—there’d usually been ten of them in the dormitory and only one wet room.

It was just that… none of them had ever looked at her like Yewry just had. Difficult to describe, she felt like… Yewry had stared at her body, not at her. She knew that kind of look because, well, Sammy often looked at her like that. But she liked it when Sammy did, hated it when Yewry did.

With Julie having worked herself into knots, Sammy felt the tension in Julie’s hand, how it almost trembled, tensing now and then. So Sammy took it upon herself to slowly work out those knots, massaging Julie’s hand.

That quickly took effect. Not only did Julie’s hand relax, but soon she leant against Sammy, their bare shoulders touching. Amusing herself, Sammy almost felt like cursing their nudity: she ached to comfort Julie more and yet couldn’t touch her anywhere else.

So Sammy sang, the rain her accompaniment.

“Little lamb, little lamb, are you lost?

“Shall I take you home with me?

“Little lamb, little lamb, don’t be sad,

“There is so much more to see.”

Julie knew the song well. After all, it was a lullaby, one the women at the barracks had often sung for her when she’d been a child. She hadn’t been a little lamb for a lot of years, but couldn’t help but smile. So nostalgic. That was a bit funny because she couldn’t really remember any particular memory, more like she was remembering being told the story.

While Julie was lost in thought, Sammy sang the lullaby a few more times, her gentle voice filling the room, echoing slightly. The tone carefully walked the line of bitter and sweet, soothing rather than cheery or sombre. Well, the lullaby held a very different meaning to her than most, she knew. She knew it was supposed to be gentle and comforting and that was why she was singing it now.

After the fourth time, Sammy stopped on the last note, holding it for as long as her breath lasted. Then rain filled the silence.

All the while, Yewry had been stewing in her own thoughts and the awkwardness had finally reached an overwhelming level. As if afraid to linger any longer, she said, “I am feeling rather tired,” and climbed out the bath, trying to keep herself from rushing.

So Sammy and Julie were soon left alone again.

Without Yewry there, a weight was lifted off of Julie’s shoulders, a sigh slipping out. Sammy giggled and gently rubbed Julie’s shoulder with her own. “Are you feeling tired?” she asked.

Julie guessed Sammy might have thought she’d yawned, not that it mattered. “Yeah,” she said carefully, unsure how loud her voice would come out.

“I shall join you shortly,” Sammy said.

Julie wasn’t sure what that meant, not until Sammy moved forwards, floating over to the far side of the bath where she then stayed. Maybe Julie was thinking too much, but she was used to Sammy being considerate and wanted to believe this was another one of those times. So she indulged in Sammy’s consideration and lifted herself out, quickly then wrapping up in the towel.

And so Sammy was left alone.

But being left alone wasn’t such a scary thing for her, not now she knew that her precious jewel would be waiting for her.

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