Vaudevillain
The scene next opens on Dr. Zlo and Cass walking through a bright, candy-coated doorway. The two enter a veritable candy wonderland. Pillars of swirling licorice with peppermint crenelations flank a red gummy carpet that leads to a chocolate cake throne. An obese dinosaur lies in front of the throne, its mouth plastered in lollipops and other hard candies. A leash trails along the ground and up a flight of nougat stairs until it lays over the tall throne and into Sweet Dream's hand.
The candy-themed villainess has upgraded her outfit to fit her new regal aesthetic. Her previous chocolate and licorice skirt is replaced with a long, expanding dress resembling those in historical dramas. A jagged crown of hard candy rests atop her head, and her hair is twirled into a bun resembling a Hershey's Kiss.
The candy queen of crime snaps her fingers as she sneers at Dr. Zlo. Suddenly, Sweet Dream's minions, the Licor-Icks, phase through the pillars that surround the villain.
Sweet Dream
Haughtily. I see someone decided to drop by without an invitation, again!
Dr. Zlo
The villain laughs. Come now, Sweet Dream! As if we need to make appointments to see each other! The two of us are thick as thieves.
Sweet Dream
Crosses her arms. What. Do. You. Want?
Dr. Zlo
Must we conduct business so soon? What happened to the art of small talk?
Sweet Dream
We both know I declared we weren't on speaking terms until you procured what I wanted.
Dr. Zlo
I Apologized for what I did, didn't I?
Sweet Dream
The villainess stands, causing her pet dinosaur to rise with a growl. You call a half-hearted, "if you hadn't gotten in my way," an apology? We lost an entire -- I repeat -- an entire shipment of coconut cream candy to a giant mutant crab all because you wanted to, and I quote, "use him as bait to catch an eldritch god!"
Dr. Zlo
It was a perfectly valid plan!
Sweet Dream
You know what the plan was!
While Dr. Zlo and Sweet Dream argue, the Jacques tasked with destroying Dr. Zlo's newest invention arrive. Short of breath, the Jacques closest to the trigger activates the device right as Sweet Dream goes into a tirade. The music starts softly, almost imperceptible to those inside the room. A low bass twangs in a jazzy tune as Sweet Dream recalls the heist.
Sweet Dream
I remember the day clearly.
Sweet Dream pauses as if recollecting. A blue hue covers the scene.
You, Riptide, and I,
the fabulous queen of crime,
had joined forces to capture a freighter filled with limited-edition candy.
Riptide needed to
distract while you, Dr. Zlo!
Were tasked with stopping the ship while I took the candy and took good care of the crew.
The Licor-Icks start to snap as Sweet Dream speaks.
You used a device
To call a giant crab here.
But once you saw it,
Sweet Dream pauses as a low horn plays.
Well, let's just say I know that look in your eye when you get…
A saxophone joins in.
Inventive.
As Sweet Dream finishes, everything stills as the blue world fades out. Then, everything explodes into red light! The bass starts up a thrumming beat while the horns and saxophone staccato notes. Sweet Dream stomps down the stairs toward Dr. Zlo, the Licor-Icks falling in behind.
Sweet Dream (Cont.)
So!
Dr. Zlo!
Tell me what I want to know!
The horns sound loud, mimicking a Woah-Oh!
You gotta tell me what you owe!
The horns blare with another Woah-Oh!
Bring it out or you can go!
Another Woah-Oh!
And it better set my cheeks aglow!
The music calms down again.
And if you don't, I'll kick you out of my chateau.
Dr. Zlo stares at Sweet Dream as she stops in front of him with a huff. At first, he's surprised at her outburst, but he quickly dismisses it as some residual effect of his latest invention. He's sure it'll wear off at some point. With a shrug, he joins in. The music follows along, but it's less enthusiastic and more structured. But after he joins in, Dr. Zlo gets into the song, attempting to rap along with the Jazz.
Dr. Zlo
Sweet Dream, do you think I come with nothing to show?
That I walked up to your door with nothing in tow?
That I brought no gifts so I could make you a foe?
That I come without offering a quid pro quo?
No!
Dr. Zlo takes a deep breath, pausing for effect and straightening his tie. He seems to be readying for a big line, but as he speaks, it becomes apparent he didn't come up with the best idea. The music decides to cut out after the first line.
I braved a dangerous combatant!
To secure a grand attractant!
I would've brought more!
But Valiant's a bore!
And he only left me a fragment!
As Dr. Zlo finishes, he realizes the instruments stopped playing once he started his second verse.
Dr. Zlo
Huffs in annoyance.
It seems someone doesn't recognize talent.
The three Jacques in the background shake their heads. Sweet Dream rolls her eyes at Dr. Zlo's attempt as the music returns to slow Jazz. The villainess takes a couple of steps back as her Licor-Icks continue to snap. Sweet Dream stalks around Dr. Zlo as she talks, as if inspecting him.
Sweet Dream
No no, Dr. Zlo.
You can't force the flow.
The rhythm of the music is what takes you. The soul of the band will let you know.
I don't expect you
To understand though.
After all, you're a solo act. You don't share with others. You go leave us alone.
The music picks up again, and Sweet Dream transforms. Globs of chocolate splatter the candy palace as she stomps around Dr. Zlo, getting dangerously close to hitting the villain with her hallucinogenic chocolate.
Sweet Dream (Cont.)
So!
Dr. Zlo!
Tell me what I want to know!
The horns sound loud, mimicking a Woah-Oh!
You gotta tell me what you owe!
The horns blare with another Woah-Oh!
Another Woah-Oh! Sweet Dream rears back a fist this time, preparing to hit Dr. Zlo and vent her anger. Instead, the villain grabs Cass and pulls him ahead while pointing to the tub of ice cream now in the minion's hands. Dr. Zlo chimes in after the horn.
Dr. Zlo
Wait wait wait! I brought you Rocky Road!
The music stops with Sweet Dream's fist. Both Cass and Dr. Zlo have flinched behind the large tub of ice cream labeled "Rocky Road."
Sweet Dream
This better not be all of it.
Dr. Zlo
There's more in the truck! I brought it to apologize! You know I can't use my newest invention without you!
Sweet Dream reverts back into her queenly form and narrows her eyes at her counterpart.
Sweet Dream
There better be enough in there for an igloo.
Dr. Zlo
Cross my heart and hope to die!
Sweet Dream walks out of her palace towards the ice cream truck. Dr. Zlo makes a face behind her back as she leaves. The Jacques, hidden behind a pillar, mimic their leader and make rude gestures. Once Sweet Dream is out of sight, Dr. Zlo straightens and addresses Cass.
Dr. Zlo
Hmph! That woman should be begging me for help! Not the other way around. My crab plan would have gotten her a hundred of those ships if she allowed me to tame that eldritch god!
Cass
Boss, didn't you try to add a loophole into your deal that the god found? Wouldn't that be why your plan failed?
Dr. Zlo
Preposterous, Cass! This can't be my fault. Nothing ever is.
Cass
Cass sighs in resignation.
Right, boss.
Sweet Dream enters after the conversation, a tub of Rocky Road ice cream under each arm.
Sweet Dream
Alright, looks like you've upheld your end of the deal. There's enough ice cream in that truck to make two igloos.
Dr. Zlo
Excellent! Now, all we need to do is get Riptide, and the plan can begin!
Dr. Zlo begins to evilly chuckle.
Sweet Dream
The villainess hands off her tubs to the Licor-Icks and gestures for them to move the rest. The minions salute and walk out.
Oh, Riptide can't come.
Dr. Zlo stops laughing and whirls on Sweet Dream.
Dr. Zlo
What?!
Sweet Dream
Obviously enjoying Dr. Zlo's distress.
Yeah, he said something about surfing an asteroid and went out with Nikola and Shizuka to find one.
Dr. Zlo
But I needed him for my plan! His power was vital for my success!
Sweet Dream
Don't know what to tell ya, big guy. Guess you'll have to come up with something else.
Dr. Zlo
The villain stomps a foot.
Impossible! His surfing power was needed to move the money! How else am I going to get my invention to work?
A sultry voice interrupts Dr. Zlo's tantrum.
????
Perhaps I can be of assistance?
Dr. Zlo and Sweet Dream turn threateningly. Dr. Zlo points his cane while Sweet Dream transforms a hand into chocolate. The two evildoers watch as a woman, white as snow with long, straight black hair, walks silently into the room.
Dr. Zlo
Who in the blazes are you?
The woman raises an eyebrow.
????
Come now, Dr. Zlo. You don't recognize an old coworker?
Dr. Zlo and Sweet Dream look at each other, then at the woman, then back to each other.
Dr. Zlo
I think we would remember someone with your… complexion.
????
The strange woman places a hand on her forehead and dramatically falls toward a pillar. She catches herself on it as she turns back to the two.
Oh, to think you don't remember me! Though, to be fair, I have changed dramatically. I'm no longer the mousy assistant you once knew. Back when you were… Eric Vil!
Dr. Zlo recoils in surprise.
Dr. Zlo
How do you know that name?
????
I know it because I was there when you snuck into the lab that night! I knew you were upset about losing the research assistant position to me and would stop at nothing! I tried to stop you, but you didn't listen!
Dr. Zlo backs away in shock.
Dr. Zlo
Impossible! You can't be!
????
The mysterious woman leans forward.
But I am! That's right, it's I! Eleanora!
Dr. Zlo
Impossible! The Eleanora I remember was a nervous wreck!
Eleanora (Eville)
And I was! Until your break-in exposed not only you, but I as well, to the energies of Phlebotinium! The power changed me, molded me into what you see now! When I awoke, I knew then that I could no longer be nervous Eleanora. No, I would be someone greater! I would be… Eville, Mistress of the Night!
Eville raises her hands and fires a lightning blast into the ceiling at the end of her monologue. Peppermint candies rain down on her hand, somewhat ruining the moment.
I hope you enjoy this next chapter of Vaudevillain! I wanted to let everyone know that I'm changing up how I do Patreon. I've been thinking about it for a bit, and I realized I don't really like monetizing what I write. Having to hold a buffer of chapters for Patrons made it absolutely horrible when I had a bad day and couldn't keep the buffer. It eventually all got to my head I think.
I pretty much just want everyone to read and enjoy what I write!
Of course, I also understand that people like to support authors and whatnot.
So I changed my Patreon to only have a $1 tier. That tier gives you access to a discord role and everything currently on my Patreon. I've started writing some of my new story on the Patreon as well so people can beta read that if they want until I put it out online.
If you want to support with more than $1, just donate to my Paypal.
Thanks for reading!
Let me know if you see any typos!
Discord | Patreon | Paypal
Chapter 289: Dr. Zlo – The Musical! (2)
The candy-themed villainess has upgraded her outfit to fit her new regal aesthetic. Her previous chocolate and licorice skirt is replaced with a long, expanding dress resembling those in historical dramas. A jagged crown of hard candy rests atop her head, and her hair is twirled into a bun resembling a Hershey's Kiss.
The candy queen of crime snaps her fingers as she sneers at Dr. Zlo. Suddenly, Sweet Dream's minions, the Licor-Icks, phase through the pillars that surround the villain.
Sweet Dream
Haughtily. I see someone decided to drop by without an invitation, again!
Dr. Zlo
The villain laughs. Come now, Sweet Dream! As if we need to make appointments to see each other! The two of us are thick as thieves.
Sweet Dream
Crosses her arms. What. Do. You. Want?
Dr. Zlo
Must we conduct business so soon? What happened to the art of small talk?
Sweet Dream
We both know I declared we weren't on speaking terms until you procured what I wanted.
Dr. Zlo
I Apologized for what I did, didn't I?
Sweet Dream
The villainess stands, causing her pet dinosaur to rise with a growl. You call a half-hearted, "if you hadn't gotten in my way," an apology? We lost an entire -- I repeat -- an entire shipment of coconut cream candy to a giant mutant crab all because you wanted to, and I quote, "use him as bait to catch an eldritch god!"
Dr. Zlo
It was a perfectly valid plan!
Sweet Dream
While Dr. Zlo and Sweet Dream argue, the Jacques tasked with destroying Dr. Zlo's newest invention arrive. Short of breath, the Jacques closest to the trigger activates the device right as Sweet Dream goes into a tirade. The music starts softly, almost imperceptible to those inside the room. A low bass twangs in a jazzy tune as Sweet Dream recalls the heist.
Sweet Dream
I remember the day clearly.
Sweet Dream pauses as if recollecting. A blue hue covers the scene.
You, Riptide, and I,
the fabulous queen of crime,
had joined forces to capture a freighter filled with limited-edition candy.
Riptide needed to
distract while you, Dr. Zlo!
Were tasked with stopping the ship while I took the candy and took good care of the crew.
The Licor-Icks start to snap as Sweet Dream speaks.
You used a device
To call a giant crab here.
But once you saw it,
Sweet Dream pauses as a low horn plays.
Well, let's just say I know that look in your eye when you get…
A saxophone joins in.
Inventive.
As Sweet Dream finishes, everything stills as the blue world fades out. Then, everything explodes into red light! The bass starts up a thrumming beat while the horns and saxophone staccato notes. Sweet Dream stomps down the stairs toward Dr. Zlo, the Licor-Icks falling in behind.
So!
Dr. Zlo!
Tell me what I want to know!
The horns sound loud, mimicking a Woah-Oh!
You gotta tell me what you owe!
The horns blare with another Woah-Oh!
Bring it out or you can go!
Another Woah-Oh!
And it better set my cheeks aglow!
The music calms down again.
And if you don't, I'll kick you out of my chateau.
Dr. Zlo stares at Sweet Dream as she stops in front of him with a huff. At first, he's surprised at her outburst, but he quickly dismisses it as some residual effect of his latest invention. He's sure it'll wear off at some point. With a shrug, he joins in. The music follows along, but it's less enthusiastic and more structured. But after he joins in, Dr. Zlo gets into the song, attempting to rap along with the Jazz.
Dr. Zlo
Sweet Dream, do you think I come with nothing to show?
That I walked up to your door with nothing in tow?
That I brought no gifts so I could make you a foe?
That I come without offering a quid pro quo?
No!
Dr. Zlo takes a deep breath, pausing for effect and straightening his tie. He seems to be readying for a big line, but as he speaks, it becomes apparent he didn't come up with the best idea. The music decides to cut out after the first line.
To secure a grand attractant!
I would've brought more!
But Valiant's a bore!
And he only left me a fragment!
As Dr. Zlo finishes, he realizes the instruments stopped playing once he started his second verse.
Dr. Zlo
Huffs in annoyance.
It seems someone doesn't recognize talent.
The three Jacques in the background shake their heads. Sweet Dream rolls her eyes at Dr. Zlo's attempt as the music returns to slow Jazz. The villainess takes a couple of steps back as her Licor-Icks continue to snap. Sweet Dream stalks around Dr. Zlo as she talks, as if inspecting him.
Sweet Dream
No no, Dr. Zlo.
You can't force the flow.
The rhythm of the music is what takes you. The soul of the band will let you know.
I don't expect you
To understand though.
After all, you're a solo act. You don't share with others. You go leave us alone.
The music picks up again, and Sweet Dream transforms. Globs of chocolate splatter the candy palace as she stomps around Dr. Zlo, getting dangerously close to hitting the villain with her hallucinogenic chocolate.
Sweet Dream (Cont.)
So!
Tell me what I want to know!
The horns sound loud, mimicking a Woah-Oh!
You gotta tell me what you owe!
The horns blare with another Woah-Oh!
You are reading story Vaudevillain at novel35.com
Bring it out or you can go!Another Woah-Oh! Sweet Dream rears back a fist this time, preparing to hit Dr. Zlo and vent her anger. Instead, the villain grabs Cass and pulls him ahead while pointing to the tub of ice cream now in the minion's hands. Dr. Zlo chimes in after the horn.
Dr. Zlo
Wait wait wait! I brought you Rocky Road!
The music stops with Sweet Dream's fist. Both Cass and Dr. Zlo have flinched behind the large tub of ice cream labeled "Rocky Road."
Sweet Dream
This better not be all of it.
Dr. Zlo
There's more in the truck! I brought it to apologize! You know I can't use my newest invention without you!
Sweet Dream reverts back into her queenly form and narrows her eyes at her counterpart.
Sweet Dream
There better be enough in there for an igloo.
Dr. Zlo
Cross my heart and hope to die!
Sweet Dream walks out of her palace towards the ice cream truck. Dr. Zlo makes a face behind her back as she leaves. The Jacques, hidden behind a pillar, mimic their leader and make rude gestures. Once Sweet Dream is out of sight, Dr. Zlo straightens and addresses Cass.
Hmph! That woman should be begging me for help! Not the other way around. My crab plan would have gotten her a hundred of those ships if she allowed me to tame that eldritch god!
Cass
Boss, didn't you try to add a loophole into your deal that the god found? Wouldn't that be why your plan failed?
Dr. Zlo
Preposterous, Cass! This can't be my fault. Nothing ever is.
Cass
Cass sighs in resignation.
Right, boss.
Sweet Dream enters after the conversation, a tub of Rocky Road ice cream under each arm.
Sweet Dream
Alright, looks like you've upheld your end of the deal. There's enough ice cream in that truck to make two igloos.
Dr. Zlo
Excellent! Now, all we need to do is get Riptide, and the plan can begin!
Dr. Zlo begins to evilly chuckle.
Sweet Dream
The villainess hands off her tubs to the Licor-Icks and gestures for them to move the rest. The minions salute and walk out.
Oh, Riptide can't come.
Dr. Zlo stops laughing and whirls on Sweet Dream.
Dr. Zlo
Sweet Dream
Obviously enjoying Dr. Zlo's distress.
Yeah, he said something about surfing an asteroid and went out with Nikola and Shizuka to find one.
Dr. Zlo
But I needed him for my plan! His power was vital for my success!
Sweet Dream
Don't know what to tell ya, big guy. Guess you'll have to come up with something else.
Dr. Zlo
The villain stomps a foot.
Impossible! His surfing power was needed to move the money! How else am I going to get my invention to work?
A sultry voice interrupts Dr. Zlo's tantrum.
????
Perhaps I can be of assistance?
Dr. Zlo and Sweet Dream turn threateningly. Dr. Zlo points his cane while Sweet Dream transforms a hand into chocolate. The two evildoers watch as a woman, white as snow with long, straight black hair, walks silently into the room.
Dr. Zlo
Who in the blazes are you?
The woman raises an eyebrow.
????
Come now, Dr. Zlo. You don't recognize an old coworker?
Dr. Zlo
I think we would remember someone with your… complexion.
????
The strange woman places a hand on her forehead and dramatically falls toward a pillar. She catches herself on it as she turns back to the two.
Oh, to think you don't remember me! Though, to be fair, I have changed dramatically. I'm no longer the mousy assistant you once knew. Back when you were… Eric Vil!
Dr. Zlo recoils in surprise.
Dr. Zlo
How do you know that name?
????
I know it because I was there when you snuck into the lab that night! I knew you were upset about losing the research assistant position to me and would stop at nothing! I tried to stop you, but you didn't listen!
Dr. Zlo backs away in shock.
Dr. Zlo
Impossible! You can't be!
????
The mysterious woman leans forward.
But I am! That's right, it's I! Eleanora!
Dr. Zlo
Impossible! The Eleanora I remember was a nervous wreck!
Eleanora (Eville)
Eville raises her hands and fires a lightning blast into the ceiling at the end of her monologue. Peppermint candies rain down on her hand, somewhat ruining the moment.
I hope you enjoy this next chapter of Vaudevillain! I wanted to let everyone know that I'm changing up how I do Patreon. I've been thinking about it for a bit, and I realized I don't really like monetizing what I write. Having to hold a buffer of chapters for Patrons made it absolutely horrible when I had a bad day and couldn't keep the buffer. It eventually all got to my head I think.
I pretty much just want everyone to read and enjoy what I write!
Of course, I also understand that people like to support authors and whatnot.
So I changed my Patreon to only have a $1 tier. That tier gives you access to a discord role and everything currently on my Patreon. I've started writing some of my new story on the Patreon as well so people can beta read that if they want until I put it out online.
If you want to support with more than $1, just donate to my Paypal.
Thanks for reading!
Let me know if you see any typos!
Discord | Patreon | Paypal
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