Chapter 580: The Terrible Tea Rex (1)

The Terrible Tea Rex (1)

It was a dreary day. At least that was the case in Dr. Zlo's mind. The villain sat in his lair, brooding while his minions circled around him. Dr. Zlo wanted to start a new scheme but didn't know where to start.

"It needs to be intimidating," the villain said. "I haven't done intimidating in a while."

Cass stepped up beside the top-hatted villain, holding a plate of chicken nuggets in his hands. He slid them in front of Dr. Zlo, making sure to avoid the many different gadgets and gizmos resting on the laboratory table.

Dr. Zlo looked down, "Cass. Why are these chicken nuggets dinosaur shaped?"

"Sorry, boss," Cass said. "I sent the Jacques out for supplies, and this is what they got. This and some other foods I didn't say they could have!"

The three Jacques across the room looked up from their children's meals, one of them offering a molten brownie from its hand.

"No, I don't want a piece of it," Cass lamented. "That money was for the boss! And you wasted it!"

"Your fault for trusting the Jacques with anything," Dr. Zlo said.

"I sent Lug and Egghead along with them," Cass complained. "I thought it would keep them under control."

Dr. Zlo chuckled and looked down at the chicken nuggets. The dinosaur-shaped snacks were a far cry from the feathered creatures of old; they resembled the lizard-ish animals from Triassic Park more than anything else, and not even a good resemblance. The faces were squashed together from overstuffed packaging, and the predatory look had been replaced with goofy smiles.

Dr. Zlo pushed the plate away. "Ugh, I can't even bear to look at these. Dinosaurs need to be terrifying! Not friendly creatures made for kids!"

"Maybe you should do something about it then, boss," Cass said distractedly. He was still in a stare-off with the Jacques and only half listening.

"Perhaps I should" Dr. Zlo said as he stroked his mustache. The edges bounced up and down at the motion, like two pinball bumpers.

"Yes, yes!" the villain mused. "I can recreate those terrible lizards of old and use them to take over the city! No one can stand in my way once those beasts are on my side! Brunhilde!"

A voice yelled from upstairs. "Vat! I'm a leetle buzy! You better not be breaking anyzing down zere! Oh! Herr Zlo. Terribly zorry, I didn't realize you vere the vone azking. I zought it vas that Quartet again."

"Understandable, understandable," Dr. Zlo nodded. "But you do realize I'll need to punish you for this transgression."

Brunhilde bowed so low her nose touched her toes, "of courze, Herr Zlo, punizh me in any vay you zee fit."

Dr. Zlo smiled wickedly, "I command you to come with me for my next scheme! And leave your boy toy behind."

Brunhilde recoiled. "Not mine Hunny Bunny! Pleaze Herr Zlo! Let me take him! I can't bear to live vithout him!"

"Permission denied!" Dr. Zlo cackled.

"Very vell, I zhall comply," Brunhilde sighed. "Vat did you vish from me?"

Dr. Zlo stood and waltzed over to his disassembler. "I need you to contact Sweet Dream and Riptide for me. I've a new plan in mind that I'm sure they would be quite interested in."

"At vonce, Herr Zlo," Brunhilde saluted.

The villain watched as his minion walked out of the room in a slight sulk. Yes, Dr. Zlo was truly evil, denying his minion like that! Everyone knew of Brunhilde's obsession with her Jacques boyfriend. Dr. Zlo had even gone as far as to upgrade the minion, so it stood out from the other Jacques. Though that was mostly for everyone else's benefit. It was too strange to think of a Jacques as anything but expendable.

Dr. Zlo called Cass and the three nearby Jacques over, directing them to gather materials around the lab for his newest invention. The villain would need a device to reanimate the terrible lizards, as everyone knew dinosaurs were already extinct. Well, barring that strange city in that crater, but lizard people that looked like dinosaurs didn't count.

While Cass and the Jacques whiled away, Dr. Zlo called his mice over. Two of the scampering minions appeared, both of them jockeying for position.

"You still haven't sorted this feud out?" Dr. Zlo asked as they moved forward.

Both mice shook their heads.

"I hope it won't interfere with what I have in mind," Dr. Zlo stated.

"Of course not, Dr. Zlo!" both mice squeaked.

"Good," answered the villain. "I don't mind a bit of backstabbing in the ranks, just as long as it isn't detrimental to the cause."

The two mice nodded, then glared at each other for daring to make the same motion.

Dr. Zlo almost sighed but held it in. "I need to find a city filled with dinosaur fossils. Preferably one with carnivores."

"Victis is filled with such museums, Dr. Zlo," the mice answered at the same time. "The city prides itself on remembering it and everyone elses cultures. And many of the museums actively seek out new fossils!"

The two mice turned to each other in anger, electricity starting to crackle from their various devices. Dr. Zlo put a stop to it with a small blast from his monocle.

"Do your infighting somewhere else," he threatened. "This is a perfectly good laboratory, and I will not have you ruining it."

The mice lowered their heads in shame, "We're sorry."

"Be off with you then," Dr. Zlo said with a wave of his hand. "I don't have time to deal with petty squabbles. I have an invention to complete!"

Both mice hopped off the table and scurried away, leaving Dr. Zlo alone with Cass and his Jacques. The villain promptly turned back to his minions, gesturing them over to place the items he needed on the table. He watched as the various cords and computers were stacked in haphazard rows, waiting until he had enough to open up his power.

The Frightening Fossil Re-animator!

A fiendish weapon built by the incorrigible Dr. Zlo! This weapon takes fossils of old and adds on muscle, skin, and other icky gross biology stuff to bring a dead creature back to life under Dr. Zlo's control! Just make sure you aren't standing in the blast zone when it activates!

Blood pack (1)

Milk carton (1)

Bag of bone meal (1)

Colored pencil (12)

DNA sequencer (1)

Phlebotinium (1g) or Sciencium (100g)

Dr. Zlo nodded as he read the description, commanding the Jacques to bring him a pack of colored pencils from the junk room. Sounds of crashing furniture echoed through the lab as Dr. Zlo took the computers and used his power to craft them into a DNA sequencer. From there, the villain set everything he needed out in front of them and activated his ability.

All the pieces spun together, shrinking into the DNA sequencer, which promptly shrunk down to the size of a gun. It landed with a plink onto the table, spinning slightly. Dr. Zlo picked it up and looked down the sights. A HUD appeared in his vision, showing how much charge was left in the weapon and its durability.

"Excellent!" the villain laughed. "Now, off to Victis! Come Cass! We'll meet with Brunhilde, Sweet Dream, and Riptide along the way."

"You got it, boss!" Cass shouted. The butler exited the lab and into the underground garage holding the Zlomobile. Dr. Zlo followed behind, getting in when Cass opened the door for him. Once done, Cass got into the driver's seat and started up the car. The engine revved, and Dr. Zlo leaned back.

Sweet Dream and Riptide were waiting for the villain at Skyline's teleporters with Brunhilde, the two villains sitting atop Riptide's board as they lazily surfed around the area.

"Hey dude!" Riptide said as he saw Dr. Zlo exit his car. "Brunny here says you have an idea for a crime?"

"Indeed!" Dr. Zlo exclaimed. "One that is so terrifying I must say it in secret! Come, inside the Zlomobile."

Dr. Zlo and his companions piled into the car and situated themselves. Cass started driving toward the teleporters, honking at the pedestrians in the way.

"Oh, Cass. Just run them over if you have to," Dr. Zlo said wearily.

Cass gripped the steering wheel hard. "Boss, a few of these guys are bigger than the Zlomobile. I don't think I can run them over."

"So, what's this new crime?" Sweet Dream asked, distracting Dr. Zlo.

"I plan to resurrect the dinosaurs under my rule!" Dr. Zlo declared. "We shall head to Victic and bring back the dreaded animals under our control, then use them to take over the city!"

"Dude, that sounds awesome!" Riptide said. "I call dibs on the plesiosaur!"

"You'll get what's in the museums, and you'll like it," Dr. Zlo answered. "We won't have the time to search once we enter the museums."

"We could just sneak in with our secret identities," Sweet Dream pointed out.

"Come now!" Dr. Zlo boomed. "In what universe would I not announce my presence?"

"He's got you there," Riptide said.

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"Alright, we'll do it your way," Sweet Dream said. "And it is always fun to crash a party."

"Sweet," Riptide said.

"So that's why we need those gangsters then?" Sweet Dream asked.

Dr. Zlo nodded, "A good ball always has staff on hand. And Brunhilde will make certain that they're in tip-top shape before the ball."

"Okay, so how do we get all the fancy pants to come?" Sweet Dream continued.

Dr. Zlo bowed, his top hat springing off his head and splitting. "Why, elementary, my dear Sweet Dream."

"Dude, yes!" Riptide laughed. "I call dibs on kidnapping!"

"You can't just call dibs!" Sweet Dream complained.

"Too late!" Riptide said. The villain jumped on his board and snatched Dr. Zlo's top hat off his head. "Smell you later, dudes! Be back when I've got someone important!"

"Hey!" Sweet Dream complained.

Dr. Zlo only rolled his eyes. "Leave him," he said. The villain pulled out his reanimator, "After all. It's his fault if he's not there for the revival."

Sweet Dream's frown turned upside down, "Oh. That's evil. I like it."

"Cass!" Dr. Zlo shouted. "Let's get back to Brunhilde and get her and our new staff inside. While she whips them into shape, we'll be shaping our newest minions!"

Cass sprang to action.

The Victis Museum of Natural History stood separate from the rest of the city, split off by a large park with narrow winding pathways. NPCs in steam-powered carriages traversed the area while others rested on the grass around. A wide pond sat in the middle, filled with more steam-powered boats chugging along merrily. Behind the park sat the museum, a neoclassical structure with wide brass pillars at the front. Closer inspection revealed the pillars to be more winding tubes, the tops of each hissing as steam escaped.

"You know, as a kid, I always thought those giant pillars were like prison bars," Sweet Dream said to Dr. Zlo as they arrived. The two had walked to the museum in their secret identities so as not to attract any stray heroes.

"Yes, the columns do resemble a jail cell somewhat," Dr. Zlo mused. "Perhaps to keep all that knowledge trapped inside!"

"How terrible of them," Sweet Dream said with mock concern. "Dr. Zlo! We must free the knowledge from its confines for the world to experience!"

"Too right, my sugary friend!" Dr. Zlo announced. "It's a good thing I have just the invention!"

The two friends walked into the museum, admiring the fresco of an angel with mechanical wings lining the ceiling.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" someone said.

"Hmm?" Dr. Zlo responded, looking for the voice.

A museum guide walked up to Dr. Zlo, offering his hand for the villain to shake. "Thaddeus Cura, museum guide, at your service, sir. Here to admire our extensive collection? We hold the greatest wonders of the known world!"

"Yes, it's all quite impressive," Dr. Zlo answered, taking the man's hand. "Tell me, where might one find dinosaur exhibits."

"Oh! You've picked quite a popular exhibit to search for, good sir! Our paleolithic pals can be found on the west wing, two floors down."

"Thank you, good man," Dr. Zlo said. He waved goodbye to the guide and started making his way down.

"Um, sir. Sir!" Thaddeus called. "You must purchase a ticket before entering. Sir!"

Dr. Zlo ignored the words and made his way to the west wing. Sweet Dream followed behind, the NPCs ignoring her as Dr. Zlo caused more commotion. More guides appeared near the villain, each one urging him to turn back and purchase a ticket.

"Please, sir!" Thaddeus called. "If you don't purchase a ticket, I'll be forced to call security!"

"Don't worry!" Dr. Zlo called. "This will only take a second!"

The villain continued on his way, catching the attention of a few guests interested in the commotion.

"Sir, it doesn't matter how long it will take you!" the guide cried. "I cannot allow you to go any further! Please stop before I call security!"

Dr. Zlo ignored the man, making his way to the winding staircase leading down to the exhibit.

"Sir, you've left me no choice!" the guide called. "Security!"

Several things happened at once. Dr. Zlo revealed his true visage, his secret identity falling off him like rain. The guides surrounding the villain recoiled in terror, tripping over each other to escape the world-renowned villain. Simultaneously, the walls of the museum slid open, revealing black doorways. From said doorways came lines of automatons, each step causing a steamy hiss to erupt from their heads.

The other museum patrons immediately started to run away from the action, many tripping over themselves in their mad dash out the doors. Dr. Zlo only laughed at the sight. He knew his focus needed to be on the attackers coming to him.

"Sweet Dream," Dr. Zlo said as the robots marched forward. "Gum up the works!"

"You and your puns," Sweet Dream sighed. The villainess transformed, molten chocolate covering her body and lifting her off the ground. A quick flick of the wrist sent globs of cocoa at the marching machines. Chocolate seeped into the cogs, slowing the automatons down but not stopping them. A few of the steam whistles on the robots gurgled, and Dr. Zlo watched as bits of chocolate melted into the air, infusing an earthy scent into the museum.

"Since you can't be civil about this, taste my wrath!" Dr. Zlo roared. The villain blasted automatons with his monocle laser, then performed a quick flick with his cane to attack a line of machines with disintegration.

"Come, Sweet Dream!" Dr. Zlo cried as he turned back to the stairs. "Our prize awaits!"

Sweet Dream only grunted, too into the fight to comment on Dr. Zlo's bossiness.

The two villains traversed down the stairs, periodically fighting off the incoming waves of robots. However, the enemies weren't any trouble as Dr. Zlo and Sweet Dream could efficiently dispatch groups of the guards at a time.

They arrived at the dinosaur exhibit amid a pile of broken metal and bent cogs. Dr. Zlo gingerly stepped over a spinning wheel while Sweet Dream engulfed it with one footstep.

"Yes! Soon the beginnings of my plan will flourish!" The villain threw his arms wide at the sight of a giant T-rex skeleton.

The exhibit had done its best to attract attention to the complete skeleton, going as far as to keep it in sight of every other dinosaur exhibit in the room. Dr. Zlo nodded in appreciation at the idea. A king of monsters needed the attention.

The monster of a skeleton stood at twice Dr. Zlo's height and six times as long, the exhibit forced to wrap around in a circle to keep itself from breaking through another display. Other, smaller skeletons sat around it, each one arranged to look towards the T-rex as if it was their leader.

"Better do this quick," Sweet Dream growled. "The guides are getting more bots."

Dr. Zlo glanced over at the stairs, seeing more panels open to reveal more automatons. These were much better than the last group, sleek and equipped with shields to stop Sweet Dream's attacks.

"Not to worry," Dr. Zlo said. "They won't be a match for our newest minions!"

The villain laughed as he opened his inventory, pulling out the reanimator and firing it at the skeleton.

"Duck and cover!" the villain cackled, running off toward a semi-complete skeleton of a smaller predator. The villain wasn't quite sure what this one was, but it looked almost as intimidating as the T-rex. He fired off another blast from the reanimator, then continued on to a final skeleton. This one rested at a size between the T-rex and the second dino.

The last blast from the reanimator fired, and Dr. Zlo activated his rocket boots to leap over a constructed timeline of the dinosaurs. He landed behind, hugging the wall and peeking out to watch the changes. Sweet Dream followed suit, transforming into her smaller form to slide underneath a table before taking cover behind a wall.

The T-rex was already starting to form by the time Dr. Zlo got a good look. The villain's eyes sparkled as a white film covered the skeleton, connecting each bone together and disconnecting the remains from the metal stand it rested on. Screws flew out haphazardly, making pinging noises as they punched into automatons, exhibits, and walls.

Once the film had covered the skeleton, it expanded. The translucent pearly color hardened to an eggshell white, and the sounds of connecting tissue could be heard. The white film kept growing until its shape matched the color, making Dr. Zlo cackle at the giant egg incubating in the museum. Seconds later, the egg cracked as a sharp nail pierced the shell. Two more claws followed, breaking enough of the egg to reveal a hand.

Then, the egg exploded all at once, forcing Dr. Zlo to duck behind his makeshift cover. Eggshells embedded themselves into the exhibits around them, cracking priceless fossils and snapping through electronic displays. Automaton guards fell as the shells hit them, their metal exterior dented from the force of the blow.

A mighty roar followed the cracking sound. So loud that it deafened the world around it for a good second after it finished. Once sound came back, Dr. Zlo heard a soft female voice explaining the grandness of the Tyrannosaurus Rex.

"Meaning tyrant lizard, the T-rex was the apex predator of its time. Weighing one metric ton, the T-rex rested on powerful legs built to chase down prey. Their heavy tails acted as a counterweight for the large animals and ensured they could chase down food without worrying about--"

A crash silenced the recording, and Dr. Zlo peeked out from his cover to see a feathered tail sweeping across the ground and wrecking anything in its path. Automatons that got close found themselves bitten to pieces or swiped into the wall.

"Yes!" Dr. Zlo shouted, rocketing out from behind his cover. "Tremble in fear at the might of my--!"

The villain looked at the T-rex.

"Of my--"

He blinked.

"Of my feathered dinosaur?!"

Yes, below Dr. Zlo stood the terrible lizard in all its feathered glory. Green and brown speckles ran across the feathers, with tinges of blue mixed in as well. The plumage ran down from a crest on the animal's head, fluffing up around the neck area before smoothing out as it ran down the tail. A fan of feathers sat on the end of the tail, more colorful than the rest of its plumage.

"I can't believe this!" Dr. Zlo complained. "Who dares to have the gall to make my minions almost cute!"

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