Vaudevillain
Dr. ZLo's Christmas Caper! - 3
"I dont understand!" Dr. Zlo shouted a week later. "The Zlo figures are on the shelves, but no one is buying them! Why is no one buying them?"
"Couldn't tell ya, dude," Riptide said. "We had all sorts of advertising campaigns and made sure it was in every store."
Cass tilted his head. "I don't remember advertising?"
Riptide chuckled. "Sure we did. Don't you remember all those television commercials of Dr. Zlo, or that influencer campaign?"
"No?" Cass answered.
"Not even the grand display in the Big Apple?" Riptide continued.
Dr. Zlo snapped. "Riptide, if you're trying to make a point just get to it!"
Riptide hopped onto his surfboard, spinning away from the laser Dr. Zlo fired after. "Dude, you only made the figures. You didn't actually tell anyone about it."
"Of course not!" Dr. Zlo shot back. "If I told people the plan then the heroes would interfere!"
Riptide laughed. "What, did you think your force of personality alone would sell figurines? You aren't famous, Dr. Zlo. You're infamous. No one wants to buy a figure of a supervillain."
"Lies and slander!" Dr. Zlo said. "I have it on good authority that people love supervillains! Just ask Saul."
"Then I guess you just aren't that popular, dude," Riptide snickered.
Dr. Zlo narrowed his eyes. "Riptide, one more snide comment and I'll lock you in a room you can't surf your way out of."
Riptide laughed. "Sure you will, dude."
Dr. Zlo stamped his foot in frustration. "That's it! Prepare to face the genius of Dr. Zlo!"
"Uh, boss?" Cass interrupted.
"What?" Dr. Zlo spat.
Cass wrung his hands together. "Well, it's just, what are we going to do about Zlomas? If the figures don't sell you won't have your army. No army, no war on Christmas."
"A war?" Dr. Zlo scoffed. "Please, as if something as paltry as Christmas would make me go to war. No, this is more of a skirmish than anything."
The Santa-Finder 9000!
Cola Bottle 1
Sciencium 5 g
"Cass!" Dr. Zlo shouted. "Prepare me some milk and cookies! Mabel, head to the store and buy me a bottle of Cola! Riptide, raid Quartet's room for his Christmas CD! We have a Santa to find!"
"You got it, dude," Riptide said.
Cass and Mabel nodded, leaving to procure the materials. Dr. Zlo leaned on his cane and gave a wicked smile. "Not long now."
Dr. Zlo wasted no time in his search once his invention finished. The device, a handheld contraption that resembled a walkie talkie with dowsing rods, blinked red and green as it activated. Dr. Zlo turned with the device, stopping when the lights started to blink faster.
"It seems our jolly red giant is in this direction," Dr. Zlo said.
"Sweet," Riptide said. "Time to bag us a Santy Claus."
"Replace a bag, Riptide," Dr. Zlo corrected with a huff. "I have no need to kidnap someone when they'll do my work for me."
The villains continued small banter as they entered the Zlomobile. Dr. Zlo entered into the passenger seat this time, letting Cass drive.
"I must keep my focus on the device," he explained.
They were off once the vehicle teleported to the ground below. Dr. Zlo kept the device steady, directing Cass whenever the lights started to blink faster. The car made good time, weaving through traffic with ease. If they needed to go offroad, Cass only had to press a button and the Zlomobile would transform into a more fitting vehicle. Not even water could stop them as they traveled.
Eventually the group reached a city, the lights on the Santa Finder 9000! flashing so fast they were practically solid.
"Looks like we're getting closer," Dr. Zlo said.
"Wow, look at all these warehouses, boss," Cass said. "I bet they hold millions of toys!"
"That certainly seems to be the case," Dr. Zlo said.
"Strange, though," Mabel said with a drawl. "The elves don't seem to be happy workers."
Dr. Zlo raised an eyebrow and looked to the passing warehouses. Sure enough, elves of the Santa variety milled about with dull expressions, their bright green and red dress covered by a high-vis vest.
"Perhaps our Santa Claus is getting with the times," Dr. Zlo commented as they drove past.
Chapter 601: Dr. ZLo's Christmas Caper! - 3
"I dont understand!" Dr. Zlo shouted a week later. "The Zlo figures are on the shelves, but no one is buying them! Why is no one buying them?"
"Couldn't tell ya, dude," Riptide said. "We had all sorts of advertising campaigns and made sure it was in every store."
Cass tilted his head. "I don't remember advertising?"
Riptide chuckled. "Sure we did. Don't you remember all those television commercials of Dr. Zlo, or that influencer campaign?"
"No?" Cass answered.
"Not even the grand display in the Big Apple?" Riptide continued.
Dr. Zlo snapped. "Riptide, if you're trying to make a point just get to it!"
Riptide hopped onto his surfboard, spinning away from the laser Dr. Zlo fired after. "Dude, you only made the figures. You didn't actually tell anyone about it."
"Of course not!" Dr. Zlo shot back. "If I told people the plan then the heroes would interfere!"
Riptide laughed. "What, did you think your force of personality alone would sell figurines? You aren't famous, Dr. Zlo. You're infamous. No one wants to buy a figure of a supervillain."
"Lies and slander!" Dr. Zlo said. "I have it on good authority that people love supervillains! Just ask Saul."
"Then I guess you just aren't that popular, dude," Riptide snickered.
Dr. Zlo narrowed his eyes. "Riptide, one more snide comment and I'll lock you in a room you can't surf your way out of."
Riptide laughed. "Sure you will, dude."
Dr. Zlo stamped his foot in frustration. "That's it! Prepare to face the genius of Dr. Zlo!"
"Uh, boss?" Cass interrupted.
"What?" Dr. Zlo spat.
Cass wrung his hands together. "Well, it's just, what are we going to do about Zlomas? If the figures don't sell you won't have your army. No army, no war on Christmas."
"A war?" Dr. Zlo scoffed. "Please, as if something as paltry as Christmas would make me go to war. No, this is more of a skirmish than anything."
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Overplayed Song 1 CDCola Bottle 1
Sciencium 5 g
"Cass!" Dr. Zlo shouted. "Prepare me some milk and cookies! Mabel, head to the store and buy me a bottle of Cola! Riptide, raid Quartet's room for his Christmas CD! We have a Santa to find!"
"You got it, dude," Riptide said.
Cass and Mabel nodded, leaving to procure the materials. Dr. Zlo leaned on his cane and gave a wicked smile. "Not long now."
Dr. Zlo wasted no time in his search once his invention finished. The device, a handheld contraption that resembled a walkie talkie with dowsing rods, blinked red and green as it activated. Dr. Zlo turned with the device, stopping when the lights started to blink faster.
"It seems our jolly red giant is in this direction," Dr. Zlo said.
"Sweet," Riptide said. "Time to bag us a Santy Claus."
"Replace a bag, Riptide," Dr. Zlo corrected with a huff. "I have no need to kidnap someone when they'll do my work for me."
The villains continued small banter as they entered the Zlomobile. Dr. Zlo entered into the passenger seat this time, letting Cass drive.
"I must keep my focus on the device," he explained.
They were off once the vehicle teleported to the ground below. Dr. Zlo kept the device steady, directing Cass whenever the lights started to blink faster. The car made good time, weaving through traffic with ease. If they needed to go offroad, Cass only had to press a button and the Zlomobile would transform into a more fitting vehicle. Not even water could stop them as they traveled.
Eventually the group reached a city, the lights on the Santa Finder 9000! flashing so fast they were practically solid.
"Looks like we're getting closer," Dr. Zlo said.
"Wow, look at all these warehouses, boss," Cass said. "I bet they hold millions of toys!"
"That certainly seems to be the case," Dr. Zlo said.
"Strange, though," Mabel said with a drawl. "The elves don't seem to be happy workers."
Dr. Zlo raised an eyebrow and looked to the passing warehouses. Sure enough, elves of the Santa variety milled about with dull expressions, their bright green and red dress covered by a high-vis vest.
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