Vaudevillain

Chapter 68: 66 – Rocking With Riptide


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While Sweet Dream faced off against Titan, Riptide chased after Merla. The sea-blue villain pulled Dr. Zlo's taffy cannon out of his inventory and made sure it was on solid mode. The gun spat out a solid ball of taffy with a Ptooey! Merla juked at the sound, and the ball flew overhead. It fell to the ground, crashing on the roof of the Science Center.

Merla shot back with a blast of magical energy, which Riptide barrel-rolled. The magician's next shot splashed over Riptide's forcefield. The surfer responded in kind with a burst of fire from his surfboard laser. Merla again dove out of the way, but this time Riptide followed up with the taffy cannon.

The solid ball of candy crashed into Merla like a cannonball, doubling her over from the force. Riptide took the chance to rush forward into melee range with his board.

"Looks like I sunk my teeth in," he said.

"Seriously?" Merla responded. "That's what you're going with? Don't you think it's a bit corny?"

"Sorry, dude. Kinda new to this whole quipping thing."

Riptide swung the taffy cannon around, ready to fire off another blast. Merla waited for it, casting a rebounding spell as the gun fired.

"Woah!" yelled Riptide as the shot rebounded off her defense. The taffy ball collided with the cannon, knocking it out of the surfer's hands. He stared as it fell to the ground.

"Aw, man. Dream's going to kill me for breaking her stuff."

"Not if I get to you first," Merla said. She conjured a ball of energy at point-blank range.

Riptide responded with the unexpected. He fell off his board, grabbing it with a free hand, and storing it in his inventory when he did. Merla's shot went wide, sailing off into the distance. She tried to prepare another ball to shoot, but the falling villain had already recalled his surfboard. The shot went wide as Riptide kicked the board around in her direction.

Merla realized Riptide was going to charge straight into her. Thoughts racing, she conjured another rebound spell. The spell might not work on the villain (she'd tested the spell on Titan's fists earlier), but the board would go flying. That would send Riptide plummeting straight into the ground and out of her hair.

The barrier of force appeared in front of her, and Merla smiled as Riptide kept charging ahead. It fell when the villain twisted his board slightly and surfed on top of her shield.

"Hang ten, dude!" Riptide yelled.

Merla cursed as her rebound spell shrunk out of existence, the small window of time gone. She braced herself for a strike.

"What the Shiiiii--" Riptide yelled.

Confused, Merla looked up to see no sign of the villain. She twisted around, thinking the surfer pulled a feint and left the fight. A glint of polished wood reflected into her eyes. Merla looked up to see Riptide shooting up into the sky at a ridiculous speed.

Her brow furrowed in confusion, "The f*ck?"

Riptide wondered the same thing. One minute he surfed on top of the magician's shield, and the next, he was yards away from her, sailing into the air at a speed he'd never reached before. He tried to control his flight, only to find his momentum too high. He flipped every which way as his body shot off into the distance.

"What did you do!" He yelled back, more curious than upset.

Merla didn't hear him. Instead, she took the opening to dash down to Rampart. Things weren't looking too good for their defender, and she knew the team would need him before the end of the fight. That meant getting rid of this cake monster.

"I'll charge up a spell to erase the cake as long as you keep me covered," she said.

"Got it," Rampart answered.

In the distance, Riptide finally regained control of his momentum. He kicked his board back down towards the ground and activated the rockets. He needed to return to the fight as soon as he could.

The flight down gave the surfer some time to think. From what he could puzzle out, Riptide had rocketed away just after the magician's spell finished. So either the spell wasn't the barrier defense Riptide thought it was or something interacted with his power oddly. Riptide bet it was the latter, everything about Merla the moment he'd charged screamed she was bracing for an impact.

"I need to do that again," the villain said. But first, he needed to help his friends.

Sweet Dream wasn't faring the greatest against Titan, but she wasn't losing either. Of course, the tall hero still outclassed her in almost every way, but the help of Sill's gelatin kept the fight more even than it should be. The monster's large and dangerous body allowed the villainess to use hit-and-run tactics while Titan tried to keep his limbs from getting engulfed.

It wasn't so much that the gelatin's interior was dangerous, the sugary acid inside barely created a rash. It was the suction the gelatin had when a punch landed. Titan spent considerable time freeing himself every time a blow sunk into the goopy body. Time that Sweet Dream could use to force a bit of chocolate into Titan's mouth.

Thus, the fight had turned into something of a stalemate. Sweet Dream would circle the gelatin trying to bait punches and kicks while Titan tried to displace as much chocolate as he could. The hero had noticed Sweet Dream's body shrinking every time she shot off a glob. Most likely, the fight could have gone that way for some time, but Riptide appeared to help.

A few blasts from his laser distracted the hero, causing Titan to flinch. Luckily for him, Sweet Dream wasn't prepared to capitalize on the mistake. Her glob of chocolate flew a second too late, and Titan swatted away the blast with a fist.

"Woah, gnarly strike, dude," Riptide said.

"If you had warned me I could've gotten him," Sweet Dream complained.

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"I thought if I yelled, he would see it coming."

"So use the communicator."

"Oh yeah. I forgot about that."

Sighing at her friend's cluelessness, Sweet Dream resolved to make sure Riptide remembered all his tech before their next mission.

"Didn't think you were the type that needed help," Titan taunted.

"Oh please, Sweet Dream retorted, "I'm a queen. So it's not exactly getting help. More like, commanding the troops."

Titan banged his fists together, "I guess its time to perform a little regicide then."

"Woah, harsh," Riptide commented.

Before Sweet Dream could banter back, Riptide dashed forward on his surfboard, firing lasers out of the board's nose. Titan stood and took them, laughing at the paltry damage the attacks did.

"That's all you have?" the hero lamented. "Here I was thinking you had more to offer."

Riptide's disintegration gun struck a moment later, melting away a portion of Titan's health.

"Sh*t," cursed the hero. He rolled to the ground, dodging the rest of the blast. Riptide cut past him and switched back on his board. The surfer pulled his gun around for another shot but recoiled as Titan sprang out of his roll. The hero launched himself towards the villain, tackling him off the surfboard and onto the ground.

Sweet Dream brought her fist down to strike Titan's head before he could do more to Riptide. The hero rolled out of the way once more. He knew if the candy woman's chocolate reached him, Titan would be finished.

Riptide stood, "Thanks."

"You have got to stop charging in blindly," Sweet Dream said. The two villains turned to Titan.

The hero stood, shaking off the dirt and gravel that stuck to his suit. He readied himself for the next attack. Riptide aimed his weapon, keeping it on Titan as he walked over to his board. Sweet Dream charged forward, chocolate legs pounding the ground.

Titan ducked under the first swipe, bringing their fist up to shave off a bit of Sweet Dream's chocolate. Riptide jumped onto his board and kicked off the ground. A beam of blue light shot out from his gun, striking Titan in the shin and forcing the hero to jump away.

Riptide kept Titan dancing around with small blasts of his weapon while Sweet Dream looked for an opportunity. But in the chaos, all players forgot about the giant green gelatin. It was only when Riptide saw the slime rolling forward that he remembered. An idea formed in his head.

Riptide swung to the right, putting Titan between him and the gelatin. Then the surfer fired his beam, again and again, aiming to keep the hero jumping backward. Titan obliged, moving back until his back struck the giant green slime.

"Oh crap," Titan exclaimed. He tried to dash away, but the gelatin sucked him in. The hero struggled, fists lashing out to break the gelatin's hold. Titan shoved his feet into the pavement, breaking into the sturdy driveway to keep himself outside the gelatin.

Sweet Dream took advantage of Titan's predicament and shoved a chocolatey fist at the man's head. Titan reacted instinctively, bringing his hands up to block the blow. Unfortunately, it left his upper body, unable to hold back the gelatin. The slime pulled Titan's entire upper torso inside, trapping the hero in its embrace.

"Yeah, take that!" Riptide cheered.

Sweet Dream shifted back to her standard form and rapped Riptide over the head, "We've still got the others to deal with."

Titan tried to use his feet to pull himself out, but all it did was shift the slime to cover more of his body.

"I've got this handled," Sweet Dream said. "You go help out Zlo. I feel like he'll need your disintegration gun."

Riptide saluted, "Roger that, queenie."

"Call me queenie one more time, and I'll feed you chocolate until you explode," threatened the woman.

"Going now!" Riptide said hurriedly. Sweet Dream probably meant it, that woman wasn't a fan of cheesy nicknames.

On the other side of the Hickman-Dragotta Science Center, Cass waited nervously in a nondescript truck. He, Mabel, and Quartet had all driven together after Dr. Zlo's team attacked. According to Sweet Dream's plan, the heroes and any other manned defenses would be too busy to deal with them, leaving the minions free to pilfer the materials. Cass didn't think it would be that simple, but the boss trusted the plan.

The silver minion let out a breath as he saw Jawbreaker crash through a door, Sill sitting on his shoulder. Behind him, BB lugged a cart with two large tesla coils. Cass rapped on the metal divider between the truck bed and the driver's seat. Quarter and the last remaining Jacques shuffled out to help BB.

As the minions loaded the truck and went back inside, Cass breathed out another sigh of relief. He shifted the car out of park and edged it as close as he could to the doors. It was time to lead up on some stolen goods.

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