Vaudevillain

Chapter 73: 71 – Gearing Up


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"So, what's your evil plan, mister evil?" Shizuka asked.

"Call me Dr. Zlo," the villain responded. "And my recent escapades have shown me my current style of fighting is insufficient."

"How so, mister evil?" Shizuka said, blatantly ignoring Dr. Zlo's request.

"I will shoot you," Dr. Zlo threatened.

"You can try."

The laser from Dr. Zlo's monocle lanced straight towards Shizuka's torso. The ninja snapped and vanished in smoke, the laser bored through the cloud and scored a small burn onto the wall. Reappearing next to the doctor, Shizuka tapped his monocle playfully, "nice try, but you'll have to do better than that."

"Shizuka, please refrain from taunting our guest," Dextra said. "I'd appreciate it if we didn't have to clean laser burns off the walls."

The ninja saluted to her boss, "Got it." She leaned over to Dr. Zlo, "We'll set up a real sparring match sometime soon, okay?"

Dr. Zlo grunted.

"Oh, don't be like that," Shizuka said. "It was a good try. I'm just too slippery."

"Mark my words, I will find some way to get back at you. But, your 'playing' did show what I mean. My laser isn't strong enough, or versatile enough, to take on certain levels of supers. I have other options of course, but many of them are similar to the monocle. Not enough force behind the blasts."

Shizuka vanished in another puff of smoke and plopped down a plush chair next to a coffee table. The woman patted the chair beside her, "In my experience, force is overrated. Not getting hit is where it's at. A lot of those supers outside are absolute morons when dealing with mobile heroes."

Warily, Dr. Zlo walked over and sat down next to the woman, "What do you suggest?"

"You got any Alienite?"

The villain nodded.

"Make a teleportation belt, or add some functions to your monocle."

Dylan leaned back into the chair, thinking. Shizuka made some good points. Not getting hit was more important for Dr. Zlo, and players would have trouble keeping track of someone who always moved about. The teleportation belt made a lot of sense. The problem would be activating the thing.

"I am loathe to admit it," Dr. Zlo said, "but your ideas are sound."

Shizuka smiled, "I'm not just a pretty face."

"Indeed."

"Now," Shizuka crossed her arms, "let's talk payment."

The edges of Dr. Zlo's lips curled downward, "What?"

"You didn't think I was giving free advice, did you?"

"Considering it was unsolicited advice, yes."

"Fat chance buddy, I'm a villain, remember. I demand an hour of time with your silvery butler."

Dr. Zlo narrowed his eyes, "Why?"

Shizuka's eyes sparkled, "Isn't he just the cutest thing? I want, no need, to tease him a bit."

The villain stared at Shizuka, trying to see if she had any ulterior motives. But the woman's face was pure as snow. Eventually, Dr. Zlo spoke, "…Ten minutes."

"Forty-five."

"Fifteen."

"Thirty."

"…Fine," Dr. Zlo put out a hand which the ninja shook fervently.

"Pleasure doing business with you."

Shizuka disappeared in a puff of smoke and popped up next to Cass. The butler started as the ninja wrapped two arms around his frame. "You and me are going to have a lot of fun! C'mon, there's a bar downstairs, and I want you to make me a drink."

Cass stared at his boss with desperate eyes. Dr. Zlo pointedly ignored them. Instead, the villain opened his power tab and entered teleportation belt into the bar. The butler looked a bit hurt as Shizuka dragged him down the stairs.

Distractions now gone, Dylan could finally focus on creating the tools he needed to fight. But before he started creating new items, the man decided to check and see what he already had.

First off, there was the laser monocle. Dylan liked the idea of it, but the creation was definitely on the weaker side. Even modifying it with Alienite hadn't done all that much. Though, thinking about it, a laser didn't ever have the stopping power it needed in stories. Perhaps he should keep the weapon.

Second was Dr. Zlo's cane. The best part about this weapon was the versatility it had. Holding five different substances meant Dr. Zlo always had a card to play. Though, the contents themselves could be changed. The smokescreen and adhesive gel were terrific, and the frictionless gel had some great uses, but liquid fire tended to hurt more than help, and the bounce gel never got used because of the rocket shoes.

Which was the next item on the list, if Dylan decided to keep anything, he knew it would be the rocket shoes. The freedom of movement the shoes gave helped immensely in fights. In fact, he would have lost to Oro if he hadn't used the boots. That alone cemented their usefulness in his mind.

The rest of Dr. Zlo's inventions were a bit all over the place. His top hat drone worked alright, but Dylan doubted its combat effectiveness in the future. It might make for a good distraction, but not much else. However, Dylan already had a distraction item in the form of his handkerchief. Dr. Zlo wouldn't have two things that held similar functions, so one had to go.

The last items Dylan had on him were protective. Both the suit and his watch protected from attacks, though admittedly, the watch's forcefield could be added to the suit. With all his items accounted for, Dylan pulled up a notepad and pen that sat on the coffee table and started to sort. In the end, Dylan had an idea for outfitting his character:

Hat - Top hat drone (distraction)

Monocle - Laser

Tie -

Suit - Defense

Gloves -

Handkerchief -

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Pocket Watch -

Shoes - Rocket shoes

Cane - Weapon

Listing out everything showed Dylan just how much space he had available for his inventions. Dr. Zlo could easily fit four more items if he consolidated what he had. One item came to him as he finished.

Dueling Gloves

A pair of gloves designed by the genius Dr. Zlo. When thrown in challenge, these gloves animate and attempt to pummel the opponent.

Formal Dress Gloves (1 pair any color)

Wax Hands (1 pair)

Lead Weights (340 g)

Boxing for Morons (1 book)

Boxing and You: a Guide to Actualization (1 book)

Alienite (1 g)

Now Dylan had a way to defend himself without having to rely on his terrible fighting skills. He could focus on gaining distance while the gloves went to work for him. Now all he needed to do was create three more items for his persona. Shizuka's mention of teleportation rose to the forefront of his mind. A belt wouldn't be practical, but maybe a pocket watch would work.

Teleportation Pocket Watch

A pocket watch created by the brilliant Dr. Zlo. This watch allows the wearer to teleport to a random location a meter away. Subsequent presses of the watch increase the range of teleportation to a maximum of ten meters.

Antique Pocket Watch (1)

Alienite (5 g)

Star Journey: The First Season (1 DVD)

Broken Compass (1)

Dylan smiled. These two items would do wonders in his fight against John. And then he remembered John's power. He could lose his inventions if John assimilated them. Well, Dylan had the perfect idea to stop his "friend" from doing that.

Portable Self-destruct System

This system was created by the ingenious Dr. Zlo to keep others from stealing his stuff. Slap this device onto anything and press the remote detonator. In ten seconds, you'll be the brand new owner of some ruined technology.

C4 (9 kg)

Big red button (1)

Recording of a Woman's Voice (1)

WiFi card (1)

Stopwatch (1)

There, that would keep John from his stuff. Now, all he had to do was create the items and goad John into fighting. Neither would be that hard; John always did have an ego problem. He left the tie and handkerchief blank for now. He couldn't think of anything good and spending too much time on creating would give John time to do the same.

Dylan took out the stolen laptop from the old lady's mansion and placed it on the coffee table. He ordered all the items he could for delivery but had to reach out to Dextra for the C4. Luckily, the villainess had a contact that could purchase the material. Hans left a bit later to buy the needed explosive.

Once he returned, Dylan readied himself for his fight. He equipped his items and opened his messages. Dylan had no clue if John removed him from his friends, but sending his message here first seemed like the best way to go about it.

Superfan39526:

So, since you can't be an adult and talk things through, I'm fine with duking it out somewhere. But if you really want to prove how right you are, you wouldn't bring all of those robots with you. We'll make this a 1 on 1 fight, Dr. Zlo vs. Singularity. Unless you're too scared to fight me alone. I'll be waiting at the ruins of the mansion.

There, if John brought his bots, he'd be admitting how scared he was to Dylan. He knew that was something his old friend wouldn't do. If there was anything Dylan knew about John, it was that his former friend couldn't bear letting others insult his pride. And if John did bring his minions, Dylan would make sure to hit John right where it hurt him most.

A response came a moment later.

DemarX:

What? You think you're actually better than me at this game?

I'm the one that showed you how to play games Dylan.

You have no chance against me. I'll be waiting at your mansion.

And when I destroy you, you'll have to admit that I was right.

Playing the game my way is the only way you'll get somewhere.

Dylan frowned at the mix of emotions that came forth. A part of him genuinely hoped that John would stop, call it all off, and say sorry. That sadness mixed with anger at how John kept treating him. Since when did any game have a correct way to play? Hell, someone could play a game any way they wanted. There was a reason speedrunners found glitches in the code to bypass areas. Their goal was always to finish the fastest. But a player looking for a great story would never use those glitches, as doing so would ruin their experience.

So if John wanted to force people into the correct way to play, he should join a chess club. At least there, all the rules were defined. Angry, Dylan stomped back to his new group of friends.

"I'm going to face off against my foe, Singularity," Dr. Zlo started. "Our battle will be at the ruins of my mansion, the place where he betrayed me. I will defeat him in single combat, and he will admit my genius."

"And if you lose?" someone asked.

Dr. Zlo stepped out the doors, his face sterner than anyone had ever seen. "I won't," he declared.

With that, the villain rocketed off into the sky, ready to sever the relationship he once had. Along the way, World of Supers finally rewarded him for the earlier fight. He dismissed the notification, only glancing at the gain of two reputation. There were more important things to think about.

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