“Umm, it wasn’t your fault, Narumi… But, what you said might be true… I can’t kick the ball and have fun… when I’m like this, right?”
Halfway, my voice broke into sobs, and I was crying before I knew it.
Even though there was nothing to be sad about, I burst into tears and couldn’t stop.
“I’m- sorry… I-”
“Ah, sheesh!”
He hugged me again.
This time it was gentler than before. I could feel Narumi’s warmth from the close contact of our body, and it made me feel a bit calmer. My tears spilled down even more.
“Your clothes… will get wet.”
“Such a thing is fine! Don’t hold back. Just cry when you feel like crying!”
“…but.”
“No buts! You keep too many things by yourself. There’s no need to hold it all alone, don’t be like that. I might be a bit unreliable, but even so I’m still way older than you. So, you can rely on me, okay?”
Narumi was just like Ryuuji.
I wonder why everyone was being so kind to me.
Even though I couldn’t afford to pay attention to the people around me. I was struggling to even be able to stand straight by myself, and I couldn’t care about my surroundings at all.
And yet, there are people who care so much about me.
There are people who reached out kindly to me.
But, —I’m so selfish.
I ended up thinking that this isn’t what I wanted.
“……Yuu- go.”
I muttered that name unconsciously.
Even though I haven’t called his name since that day.
I want to talk to him. I want to hear his voice— even though I know he doesn’t exist.
I felt like I might get punishment for thinking like this, because everyone has been so kind to me.
But I couldn’t help but think that way.
*
Narumi didn’t ask any more questions after that.
It was partly because I was crying the whole time, though. While placing the cold pack that was given to me on my eyelids, I lay down on the long and narrow bench that was provided in the room. I let out a short sigh toward the ceiling.
Narumi isn’t here right now. He had left the room after a circle member called him. Narumi tried to stay with me, but I refused.
Right now, I was in the mood to be alone even for a bit.
The day before yesterday, ever since I realized that I like Yuugo, that feeling became even bigger.
Even though there’s nothing I could do about it.
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Should I just launch the app and tell him that I like him? I’m sure he’d give me a good answer. But that’s it. It was pointless because nothing would happen other than that. It might only make me feel even more empty.
Even so, I couldn’t just delete the app.
If I deleted it, it seems like all of the chat logs up until now would be gone. I couldn’t do that yet. I still couldn’t bear to erase all of Yuugo’s existence.
A quiet knocking sound could be heard.
This room could be used freely for everyone. Normally, no one would bother to knock like that.
I wonder if Narumi told the others that I was resting in this room. Maybe that’s why someone outside the door became concerned about me.
I got myself up and removed the cold pack from my eyelids.
With staggering steps, I headed for the door.
“…Can I come in?”
The person who was standing there was Amagi.
*
I didn’t really understand this situation.
I was sitting side by side with Amagi on the bench where I had been lying down earlier.
I said side by side, but not right beside me. There was space just enough for three people between us. In other words, we both sat on the edge of the bench.
“…Umm, do you have any business with me?”
I thought that it couldn’t be helped that my voice cracked.
After all, Amagi is an alpha. Even though I knew that he was Narumi’s pair, I felt nervous to be alone in the room with him.
“I’ve got something to ask you.”
“Something to ask?”
“It’s about the alpha whose scent was on you the other day.”
I had no idea what he was talking about.
Alpha’s scent?
If he meant the scent that was on me, wouldn’t it be omega’s scent?
“What- do you mean?”
“You don’t realize it?”
“Realize…?”
I still didn’t get what he was saying, after all.
Amagi furrowed his eyebrows and stared at me. His expression looked like he was doubting me.
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But, I really couldn’t think of anything else even if he made that face to me. As I thought about it while tilting my head, he made a fed-up expression this time.
“—Forget it, if you don’t remember.”
Amagi said that and walked out of the room.
What was that all about?
For a while, I looked at the door which Amagi had left from.