Chapter 47: 47 – I hate romcom

An ordinary school day. The trip to school went without hassle, and although we had a lot of eyes on us... Or rather, on Ren since he was surrounded by what looked like four beautiful women.

Anyway, although people stared, since the school's Disciplinary Committee leader was with us, they didn't say anything or stop us.

...Which made me wonder just what sort of background Yui had in school and how other people viewed her. I'd never really paid attention, but from recent experience she didn't seem that bad...

But that was that.

We got to class, sat down for morning homeroom, greeted the teacher with Yui leading as the class rep, and then...

It was time for 'that.'

To avoid any sticky situations, I had rushed off earlier to grab a seat in the back corner of the classroom by the window so I could avoid staring at the front of the room.

Fortunately, we didn't have any assigned seats. A few people were surprised when I suddenly swapped places and more looked happy since I suddenly had three open seats around me, one to my right and two in front... but then Celes pointedly walked over and took the seat beside me and everyone calmed down. Paired with the fact that Yui took the one in front of me, the combined intimidating aura from those two girls was enough to ward off the opportunists.

Of course that left my good pal Ren off by his lonesome in the middle of the room and being stared down by the entire class after he didn't follow us over.

...Aaand now I was just avoiding reality.

[Help: Would you like to activate the screensaver function?]

Wait. I have a screensaver function now? What does that even-

The door to the classroom slammed open. Shortly after, a cheery and cutesy voice echoed. "OHAYO~!"

Dear god. Cici's actually going through with it.

I shifted my gaze to our homeroom teacher and wondered if Cici was going to be shut down.

And then I remembered that the odds of that happening were next to nothing- No, it was actually nothing considering our teacher.

A young man with perpetual shadows beneath his eyes. Shaggy black hair dangling over his black-rimmed square glasses. A professional suit and tie outfit... that hadn't been ironed for weeks, if not more.

First name, Kei, written with the kanji for 'intelligent.' Last name, Denki, written with kanji for 'electricity.'

That was our homeroom teacher, Professor Denki. Apparently, he was Professor Euclid's research partner and did a lot of computer science programmy stuff. And apparently he never got enough sleep since he always looked and acted like he was half-awake and was barely conscious of the world around him.

Like now.

Cici burst into the room with a pirouette, sending glitter everywhere around. Literally sparkling because she tossed on a bunch of glitter powder before class started that she managed to get from somewhere. After that, she stuck her tongue out and did a 'V' sign with her fingers like a cutesy idol.

Completely inappropriate for the supposedly prestigious Zenkai Academy. But...

"As you can see, you have a new classmate." Professor Denki stifled a yawn and shuffled a stack of papers. Glancing at Cici, he said, "Introduce yourself please."

Cici stuck her thumb up and winked. "No problemo, Sensei!"

End my suffering.

[Help: I'm sorry. But self-harm is strictly prohibited...]

I sighed and averted my gaze from the overt weaboo cringe in front of me, deciding it was time better spent to stare out the window.

"It's nice to meetchu all! Cici desu! I just transferred in from overseas and my Japanese isn't perapera yet, so gomenasor- Kya!"

A sudden crash. From the sound of it... and from the soft dark chuckle echoing from Celes, it seemed like Cici did something embarrassing.

I would definitely take a lot of damage to my psyche if I looked now though, so I resisted the urge and pointedly kept staring at the courtyard.

Let's see. The school athletes were doing their morning training routines with the coach-

Wait. Was that Akane nee-chan?

Nah. Couldn't be right? I mean, it was a beautiful woman with light brown hair tied in a ponytail and shredded muscles, but there was no way it was her. I mean what were the odds, right?

...That was what I wanted to think.

But almost as if she had superpowers, the woman who looked like Akane nee-chan... No. It was definitely Akane nee-chan.

She looked up at me even though it should be impossible to see me and waved. After that, she turned to the athletes and started gesturing with a lot of pointing, threating knuckle cracks...

And then the prestigious Zenkai Academy athletes were lined up to write a message.

'I teach'

...I teach?

...Oh god. Was Akane a teacher here now? That meant-

"SENNIE!"

Cici's voice from directly in front of me.

I blinked and looked over to see Cici standing right in front of me as well as Yui pushed off to the side.

"I did it! Are you proud of me? Do I get headpats since I was a good girl? Or maybe..." Cici poked her index fingers together and looked up at me with a shy smile. "...A special reward later?"

Intense stares. Some girls furiously scribbling in notebooks. Some guys covering their noses. Others suddenly holding their bags on their lap.

And clear killing intent radiating from my right side.

Senseeei! You're supposed to break up situations like this!

...But of course, Professor Denki was playing dumb- Ah, no. He looked like he had fallen asleep standing up.

Sheesh. Did he have a lot of work to do recently or something? If so, you shouldn't be a teacher...

But whatever. It seemed like I had to resolve this situation on my own. And the answer to this...

Well, other than letting Celes flip the table and strangle Cici like my dear girlfriend seemed she wanted to do.

Anyway, the answer to this...

"Sis. Sit down and stop making a scene."

...Yes. It was to quickly draw boundaries and punt that bomb away by giving a reasonable answer to Cici's actions.

But-

[Urgent Quest: <Incest is wincest?>]

[Help: I'm *so* sorry.]

$#@#!#$!

Cici giggled.

Celes thoughtfully twirled her pencil.

And just as I was wondering if I should just jump out the window...

*BANG*

Ren slammed his hand on his desk and stood up. "Sensei! I almost forgot!"

Professor Denki snapped out of his daze and then let out a deep sigh. "What is it this time, Ren-kun?"

Nice! Ren, my good ol' pal! I knew you'd bail me-

"The field trip! Aren't we supposed to assign partners today?"

YOU @#%@# @### @###$#@###%@#%@#%@#%@#$!

xxx

*THWACK*

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Ren lowered his arm that just blocked my kick and said, "I'm sorry!"

I growled and spun around with a back kick, aimed at his head.

Ren took a step back to dodge it and said, "I couldn't think of anything else to say!"

I charged forward with a jab at his neck and said, "You could have just said you had a question about the test next week, idiot!"

Ren deflected my jab and said, "We have a test next week?"

"Ugh! Muscle-brained idiot! Why are you like this?"

It was gym class. We were *supposed* to start volleyball this week, but apparently our teacher got laid out by Akane nee-san earlier.

'Oho?'

Shut up, Cici.

'Aw...'

Do you have nothing better to do than play a one-dimensional lewd character?

'Nope!'

...

Anyway, we were supposed to start volleyball, but our gym teacher got knocked out by Akane nee-chan in an incident earlier, and Akane nee-chan herself was being scolded.

Or something.

Either way, it was self-study time.

Most people went off to chat, just hanging around the gymnasium. Some snuck off to skip class and play games on their phones. Others were fast asleep... though those were mostly the poor saps that got roped into being merit scholars who served as teacher research assistants.

As for me, I needed to vent.

I kicked off the ground towards Ren and threw a straight punch at his chest.

"Nice!" Ren grabbed my arm and then tossed me through the air.

I went with it and did a flip, landing on the ground in front of him before stepping in again with an axe kick, swinging my leg around to smack his head.

Of course, that muscle-head easily brushed it to the side with a flick of his wrist, resulting in a loud *THWACK* as my foot slammed against the ground.

"Could you *not* keep dodging and deflecting?!"

Ren laughed and said, "I could. But you're a lot stronger than you used to be, Kimura-san." He glanced at the dented wooden floor and said, "...I think my head would cave in if I took that straight on."

I switched to a boxing stance before skipping forward to throw fast jabs at Ren's obnoxiously handsome and nonchalant face. "Good! It might jog the rest of your lazy brain cells into working for once!"

Ren ducked and weaved around each of my punches before saying, "It isn't my fault! We've got a lot going on at home right now... Plus Mom's coming home this weekend."

I paused, processing what Ren just said.

He took a step back and rubbed the back of his head, sighing. "She said that it was time for me to get ready for a proper apprenticeship too... Argh. Why couldn't Onee-chan just be a proper girl? I just want to practice martial arts, not- Gwah!?"

Ren staggered back, clutching his nose.

The perfectly fine and not bloody nose even after I threw a full-force punch at it.

"Tch."

"Kimura-san?!"

"Just freaking call me Sen already, idiot! And why do you have to be so dang sturdy! At least pretend to get hurt!"

xxx

Off to the side, Yui and Celes were sitting in the gymnasium bleachers, watching Ren and Sen go at it.

"Stop moving!"

"Why are you so mad?!"

"Because you're an idiot!"

"I can't change that!"

"So then let me hit you, dang it!"

Yui blinked and then looked at Celes. "Um. Not to pry but... are you really Sen's girlfriend?"

Celes nodded. "I am."

"...And Sen is really a guy? Not just a tomboy?"

Celes coughed, blushing a bit, and said, "Y-Yes. I'm quite sure of that."

"Huh." Yui stared at the guy(s?) wrestling in the middle of the gymnasium before saying, "...I really don't get boys. But anyway." She looked back at Celes and said, "So Sen said that you two are starting a streaming company? And he wants me to join?"

xxx

Sitting in the corner of the gymnasium, Cici let out a creepy giggle while sketching something on a tablet. "This is going to rake in so much money... hehehe. I'm sure Sennie won't mind too much, right?"

An exasperated sigh echoed in Cici's head, followed by a young female voice. 'Senpai. This is why you were fired.'

Cici pouted and said, "It's not my fault! Sennie was too fun to not tease!"

'The ethical guidelines aren't a suggestion, Senpai.'

"Hmph. You're no fun."

'I am a professional. And- WHAT ARE YOU DRAWING?!'

"Culture."

'THAT IS NOT CULTURE! THAT'S OUTRIGHT-'

Cici submitted her sketch to Nettoons and said, "Explicit culture. Now..." She smiled, watching the numbers and hits go up on her new webtoon. "...How do I convince Sennie to let me roll the gacha again?"

'...'

Cici tucked her tablet away in her bag and then stood up to stretch. "Maybe if I- Kya?!"

An invisible force suddenly tugged at Cici's foot, making her lose her balance and collapse in a heap, smacking her head against the wall. When she did, she glared off into space and said, "You're a terrible Kouhai!"

'And you're a terrible Senpai! No wonder Mister Sen is so stressed all the time!'

"Well, stress is fine! There's plenty of ways to relieve it!"

'No! Especially not like how you're thinking! You're related!'

"And incest is-"

'Don't make me bend the rules and start talking to Miss Celes about you!'

"Gasp! You wouldn't! They'd fire you right away!"

'You already set a precedent, Senpai, so watch me!'

"...Tch."

'Hmph.'

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