Chapter 26: 26. Kicking Butt

It takes longer than expected to find the entrance, and when we do find it, it's only because a fire glows against the cave walls making the opening visible in the night.

We crouch behind some bushes, scanning it hoping to glean some insight into the source of the light.

Morgan asks, "Are you sure that's the dungeon?"

"It has to be," Astra says. "I mean, with the scale of the map, it's hard to be sure beyond the general area. But this is the area, and we've been searching for hours, and this is the first cave we've come across."

"There's movement inside," Vladimir tells us. "I see the shadows. It's not just flames flickering. I guess I should scout it out."

I see Astra frowning. She's protective of our thief. He's the weakest of us, and she doesn't like him being on his own.

I say, "I can do it." They look at me questioningly. "I have a few tricks up my sleeve you still haven't seen."

"Ooh! I can't wait," Kerda says suggestively.

I ignore her and head for the cave. When I'm close enough, I summon a ground fog and crouch down to be covered by it. I've only used my Mist Walker skill once before—my first day in the game. Dang! It seems like months ago. It's how I met Dwayne. And remembering that, I wonder what he's up to. Has he managed to get himself killed yet? Or has he learned not to overestimate his abilities?

I bring my focus back to the task at hand and crawl up the incline to the entrance.

Sitting around a fire are a group of six people of different species. There's a smell of cooked meat in the air, but they're not eating just passing a couple of bottles around, getting drunk.  All of them wear dark red plaid kilts and on their belts they all have heavy sabers with rounded hand-guards. 

There's two cat-women. One has a leather armor top, the other is bare chested. There's also a topless male human. A similarly dressed elk-man. A fox-woman with a black shirt. And a Fairy-folk with bright red hair with her small pert breasts exposed.

Detect tells me they're NPC of a class called "Highwaymen." It seems to be a variant on bandit. They range between level 2 and 4. It also shows me that the Fairy-Folk is Leprechaun. The differences between them and bandits seem to be mostly the locations where they might appear and some o their skills. The name is a bit sexist, especially considering half of them are women. But I can't figure out how the name could be improved. Highway-people definitely does not have the same connotation.

The cave itself goes farther back from where they're sitting but gets lost in the darkness pretty fast. Feeling as though I've gotten all the information I can, I slink back before the fog can dissipate.

Once I return to the party's hiding place, I give them the news.

"After those bees, this will be a walk in the park," Bronte says.

Morgan chides her, "Don't underestimate them. There's still some level 4s in the bunch. They won't be easy. Just because the bees handed our asses to us, it doesn't mean everything else is easy."

Vladimir seems puzzled by the information I've given. "I don't get it. Why are these bandits—highwaymen guarding the dungeon?"

"No idea," I say. "Maybe they're just making camp for the night. Their being here, could be a totally random game event."

"So, we could just wait for them to leave."

Morgan says, "The hell with that. I said they wouldn't be easy. I didn't say we couldn't take them. Hell, we need to take them. You've been complaining about not getting any loot, Vlad. Well, these NPCs will have loot. And being of different species we might find gear that fits us, never mind what they've stolen from others. And if we're lucky they'll have a few Mystic potions." 

In the fight with the bees, we used up most of the party's stock. We redistributed what we had, but it meant each of our spell users only have one. Getting more could be the difference between success or failure in the dungeon.

Morgan finishes by saying, "Not to mention, I doubt a group of thieves will be spitting out aphrodisiac poisons like the last few encounters we had."

Bronte mutters, "In this game, I wouldn't put money on that."

Vladimir seems convinced but still argues, "Fine. But what do you propose? We just tromp up there giving them plenty of warning? Triste didn't see any ranged weapons, but that doesn't mean they don't have some. If they do, we'll be sitting ducks."

He has a point.

Morgan purses his full lips, getting ready to talk for a while. "This is what I propose: Anyone with stealth skills should go first. That will be Triste, Vlad, Astra, and myself. I don't think I'm missing anyone?" Kerda and Bronte shake their heads no. "So, the four of us head to the cave and attack. We catch them by surprise and prevent them from launching range attacks or setting up a defensive position."

"What defensive position are you talking about?" Vlad asks.

"I don't know. Maybe deeper in the cave there are rocks the can hide behind and shoot at us from. It really doesn't matter because we'll keep them near the entrance by engaging them in battle. While we do that, the others will come up and join in as fast as they can."

Astra says, "I don't like it." Morgan starts to argue, but she cuts him off. "Listen, you're suggesting that we go in and fight six opponents without our two strongest fighters. No offense but you and Vlad are not scrappers. Don't give me that look. I'm only a bit better in a close quarters because of my higher level. I'm an archer. Knife fighting isn't my strength. That leaves Triste and as good as some of her spells are, they won't be enough to take on six armed thugs. Now, even if Bronte and Kerda wait by the base of the hill, it will take them what? A minute to charge up that slope? Maybe less, sure. But maybe not. A minute is like 20 combat rounds. We won't last that long."

"Well, what's your plan.

Astra looks a bit dejected. "I don't have one."

"How about a vote?" Morgan suggests.

I can see Astra struggling with this. We're supposed to be in charge. But we introduced the idea of voting, and it's not so easy to put the genie back in the bottle. She could put her foot down, but she'll need an alternate plan or the group will descend into bickering. Finally, with much reluctance, she agrees.

When we vote only Astra and myself are against the plan. When Kerda votes for it, she says, "We won't leave you hanging their that like. Both Bronte and I have good Stamina will get up there in a lot less than 20 rounds." This doesn't make tons of sense to me but apparently the game uses the Stamina attribute in the calculation of a character's speed.

And as though to seal it Morgan says, "Come on. Cheer up. We all came here to play a game, not to play it safe."

* * *

 So, I have my Mist Walker skill. Astra has a tracking skill which involves stealth. And both Morgan and Vladimir have innate stealth from being Fairy-folk. We leave our two warriors at the base of the hill and slowly climb toward the cave. Somehow, this time it seems to take longer. And I can't help thinking, we'll all be dead by the time Kerda and Bronte reach us. 

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At the cave entrance, we hesitate. The highwaymen are still there, still passing the bottles around. It's the sort of thing that reminds me we're in a game. They seem on a loop until we break them out of it.

Astra may have been against this, but she takes charge and guides us with hand signals. She wants me to go in first and dance for them. I vigorously shake my head, silently telling her: heck, no! 

She grabs my upper arm and gives me a look of steely confidence, then gives a determined nod. She signals again, pointing at me then twirling her hand. She points to herself and Vladimir and raises her bow. Lastly, while looking at me, she presses her hand to her heart and mouths the words, trust me.

It takes all my courage just to stand out of my crouched position and the concealment of the fog. I must be out of my mind.

Stepping into the cave, I begin dancing. Not the Dance of Death. Not yet. No point is spending magic before I need to. But somehow I can still make my body move in its coordinated sultry way without magic. My feet know where to go and my arms stretch and bend to an unheard rhythm. My hips seem to be an animal unto themselves, swaying and thrusting.

The Leprechaun squeals, "Woo! What have we here?"

The Human male slaps his thigh and says, "Mmmm. Just what I was needing."

The little red-haired woman replies, "No kidding. A whore showing up out of the blue. Like my prayers were answered."

However, the Felinoid with the armor jumps to her feet. "You fools! Don't let her get close to us!"

But I already have some of them in range, so I activate the magic.

The one with the armor must be the leader, she's close to me and already has her sword in her hand. It swipes down slicing open my flesh. Three of the thieves retreat deeper into the cave but the others, including the leader, come at me with their sabers, chopping at my limbs as I dance.

Astra and Vladimir let loose with their arrows and darts. This begins to draw away some of the attention from me. Two run to the cave entrance and two fire arrows from short bows. The elk-man must be pretty low level because he drops dead at my feet almost instantly. This leaves me facing the leader.

Since I've been cut down to nearly half health and no one else is in range for the dance, I switch to life steal. I score a critical and the cat-girl mummifies as most of her life force is sucked out of her. I waste no time raising her back from the dead and send her after the ones with the bows. She goes for the Leprechaun and I race to the Vulpera.

In all the confusion, I get a system message telling me I'm level 6 and that my random skill upgrade has been applied to Wail, making it level 2.

The fox-girl must have been pretty weak too because she dies almost instantly once I start dancing again. Reserving my magic in case it's needed later, I switch to my karambit and help my puppet with the Leprechaun. A couple of rounds later, Astra is beside us adding her dagger to the mix. The Leprechaun is surprisingly strong for someone so small, but we finally cut her down.

I turn and notice there aren't any left. 

"Wow!" Astra says. "We did it."

Morgan steps in. "And I just stood back and healed. And I barely had to do any of that." He pauses and adds, "We're bad-asses!"

When Kerda and Bronte run in, breathing hard and blinking in bewilderment, Vladimir says, "What took you so long?"

The buxom green girl looks around at the slaughtered highwaymen. "You killed them all without us."

Bronte says, "What a scam! You tell us to wait, then take all the kills for yourselves."

Astra claps me on the back, "Don't blame me. It was all Triste she ripped through them like a true angel of death. We just helped."

"I... I just... Didn't really do that." I mumble.

"Triste?" Morgan asks. I look to her expecting another compliment, but she says, "Do you mind doing something about that? It's creeping me out."

It's then, I realize my reanimated corpse is still walking around. The shriveled up body is roaming idly in small circles, waiting for an order. 

"Oh!" I say before ending the connection and letting her fall down with the rest of our enemies.

"Alright," Vladimir says with excitement. "Lets get these bodies stripped! I... er... I mean, stripped of loot. Not in a perverted way."

It's a good haul. We split up the money and each of us get about 4 gold. There's a pile of potions too—almost a dozen of each type and a few marked "Major" that restored twice the points. We lay out the rest to see what we've got. There's a bunch of higher tier kilts and cutlasses as well as some daggers and bows. And a handful of magical items. Normal things like rings that make you stronger. And weirder things like a Fairy-folk sized pair of panties that add to Life Balance.

There aren't many of the party who can use the armor or weapons. Astra says about them, "Everyone take what you can use. We'll leave the rest. Hopefully we'll get more valuable loot before the end. No point in getting bogged down early."

We let the warriors pick first. Partly to compensate them for missing the action. Partly, because they're usually the ones on the front-lines.

Bronte takes a cutlass, a kilt, and the leader's leather armor bra. Kerda grabs a kilt to replace her regular skirt. Astra upgrades her bow and dagger, then switches out her shorts for a kilt. Vladimir selects a leather belt and the Leprechaun's sword, which is short enough that his class lets him equip it.

This leaves the magic items. There's a simple silver barbell nipple-ring with a Mystic Energy bonus, and Kerda loudly tells everyone it's perfect for me because it will make my piercing symmetrical. I'm embarrassed, but I don't turn it down, I've been burning through my magic pool too quickly lately. I'll take any help I can get.

Morgan shamelessly takes the Leprechaun's panties. Kerda chooses some lacy black fingerless gloves that have a bonus to attacks. Bronte picks up the Ring of Vigor (and of course she gets a regular finger ring and not a humiliating piercing). This leaves a pair of knee-high socks with a Life bonus. They're white with a ruffle at the top. Astra looks at them with distaste but equips them.

Morgan in her still in their blue robes looks around at the party and says, "With all these kilts, I feel like I'm hanging out with a bunch of anime school girls."

Bronte cuffs them on the arm, sending them staggering back.

A noise from deeper in the cave stops us all cold.

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