Chapter 193: 193: Not Completely Stupid™

***Baroke***

Baroke reflexively elbowed the person with the hand around his mouth.

The weight behind him was propelled backward, crashing through the underbrush before slamming into a tree with the smack of flesh against wood.

“Hey bro, I don’t swing that-“

He glanced over his shoulder and spotted a woman collapsed against the tree, her arms and legs bearing the scratches of flying through the underbrush. Her face was scrunched up in pain and she was wearing a basket full of dead bugs on her back.

The basket full of squishies seemed to have broken her backward momentum, but she was still clutching the rib that he’d caught with his elbow, face contorted in pain.

Baroke inhaled thought his teeth, a sudden surge of guilt kicking him in the stomach. Hitting girls wasn’t Baroke’s style, not even if they were into it.

“Sorry about that, are you o-“

The genosian girl let out a panicked gasp with blood-soaked lips, raising her hand to point behind him.

Oh, right, Baroke was brought back to the situation at hand when he heard snarls from the campsite behind him.

Baroke glanced over his shoulder, spotting the six ghoulish Genosians charging toward them, teeth gnashing on air. They were about halfway there already, only about twenty feet remaining between him and their razor sharp teeth.

Baroke glanced back at the young woman.

“This’ll just take a sec,” he said, putting out a placating hand. Best thing to do is project a calming aura of confidence.

When he heard the twig about three feet behind him snap, he drew and arrow from the waist quiver and whipped it around in his hand.

One thing I really like about these new arrows, is that they can handle my levels of torque.

The Abyssal steel arrow caught the leading creature along the side of the head, then exploded through its brain before Baroke flicked the arrow downward, ripping off the creature’s jaw and catching the next one between the eyes as it impaled itself on the weapon.

Baroke started whistling as he unslung his bow from his shoulder, flicking the second corpse off the arrow.

Four left.

Asshole number three was crouched low, charging on all fours, mouth gaping as it ran straight for his nards.

Baroke fed the creature his knee, shattering its teeth and jaw before sending the monstrous genosian flying backward into its friends like a rag doll.

Well, not literally feeding it my knee, that would be silly, Baroke thought, unslinging the bow one-handed and whipping it around three hundred and seventy degrees into a draw position in a sweet-ass motion he’d spent his early teens practicing.

Baroke gingerly drew back the bow with minimum effort and shot creature number four in the face.

The silvery arrow leapt out of its rest like a Toku with an assfull of salt, exploding out of the creature’s skull and burying itself to the fletching in the loamy floor beyond.

Nice, I can still see the fletching! Good job, me.

Creature five and six seemed to get the idea and tossed number three off themselves, springing to their feet and scrabbling to run toward the jungle on the other side of the clearing, desperately trying to get away from him.

They lined up.

Baroke whipped out another arrow and pinned the two of them nut-to-butt against the towering jungle tree that loomed above the opposite edge of the clearing.

“Right.” Baroke said, scanning the tableau to make sure none of the creatures were going to get back up.

Okay then, now the hard part.

Baroke turned and walked back to the genosian, kneeling in front of the wounded woman.

“Do. You. Understand. Me?” Baroke spoke in halting Ilethan, making sure to speak extra loud, to help her understand better. He pointed at her, then himself, then his ears, wiggling his eyebrows to get the point across.

“Where. Do. You. Bed?” He asked, pointing at her, then pantomiming walking, before making a simple hut with his left hand and sliding his index finger in and out of it. “I’ll. Take. You. Bed.”

Hopefully she got the message, Baroke thought, before frowning, mentally reviewing his words and pantomime. Maybe not.

“SSSHHHH!” the genosian woman hissed, putting her fingers to her lips in the universal sign of ‘Shut up, damnit!’.

“The weird things are gone, I don’t see why – “

The world around them went grey, all color leeched out of it in an instant.

Baroke’s mind snapped into focus and he snapped his teeth together, wincing a bit as he chomped down on his tongue.

More importantly, there was something right behind him. He could feel it pressing against his skin like a bad touch. He had a gut-wrenching feeling that something was about to molest the shit out of him if he stayed in place.

Baroke rolled out of the way, and the hairs on his arms stood up as some invisible thing passed by him and engulfed the wide-eyed woman leaning against the tree.

The genosian woman was pressed violently into the tree, causing the leaves to shake above him. A for an instant Baroke thought she might be standing up, but then he realized whatever was there was dragging her up the side of the branch.

Pain and horror flashed across her face an instant before she threw her head back and gave a gut-wrenching scream.

The scream was not a human one, as it seemed like it was being physically dragged out of the core of her being.

The glowy blue stuff doesn’t look that good, either, Baroke thought as blue mist began pouring out of the woman’s mouth, rising into the air. Her body seemed to wither away, her cheeks hollowing like the creatures sniffing around the campfire earlier.

Rather than floating up into a mist or a cloud, the glowing blue stuff seemed to follow a pattern, forming a sinous line as the blue mist condensed and-

Oh shit, that’s the creature’s digestive tract! Baroke realized, whipping out an arrow and sending it through the line of blue mist.

Nothing happened. His arrow didn’t even disturb the blue energy that the creature was seemingly gulping down. It seemed like both the creature and the energy it was stealing were immaterial.

Nothing that can’t be solved by a whole fuckton more firepower, Baroke thought, planting his feet and drawing another arrow. He kissed the arrowhead before stringing it, muscles straining as he pulled his enchanted glass bow to full strength.

Force Amplification.

Assassinate.

Called Shot.

Penetrating Shot.

Sirfen’s Prey

Pierce the Veil

Godslayer Arrow.

0/8 Bent remaining.

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Bye bye, motherfucker, Baroke thought, releasing the arrow.

***Calvin***

“Why the fuck didn’t you keep watch over him!?” Calvin demanded, holding a tiny scout Nadia by the neck and glaring straight into her eyes.

“I just glanced away for a second…” She said, her voice strained, face turning red, “I’m not really into watching men crap in the woods. I’m sorry.”

“Godsdamnit.” Calvin said, running his hand through his hair as he tried to digest the facts.

The first few minutes into their hunt and they had already fallen behind the creature they were supposed to be cornering. Now Baroke was either dead or some other godsforsaken plane of existence, and in damn good need of a rescuing. Even if he was alive, how long could Baroke hold his breath in the belly of some interdimensional creature?

Maybe half an hour, due to his insane Endurance.

Half an hour isn’t long enough, godsamnit, Calvin thought,

Calvin’ first instinct was to visit terrible retribution on Nadia for letting the giant archer slip away long enough to get swallowed up by the thrice damned creature spiriting people away.

He thought of several creative ways to inflict pain and hopelessness on the Ilethan princess, but he reigned his anger in.

The damage was done, it was half the lumbering lug’s own fault, and rewarding the masochistic princess with torment was the exact wrong response to her carelessness.

And I don’t have time!

Calvin took a deep breath and schooled his voice to be as even as possible. He wanted Nadia to understand how serious he was.

“Remember what I promised you would happen if you got Baroke killed?” Calvin asked. Nadia’s eyes widened. “If we don’t get him back, you’re spending the rest of my life locked in the black room, so I hope you’ll take this seriously.”

Calvin let Nadia go and scanned the remaining party members.

“Alright, we’re going to kill this thing and get Baroke back,” Calvin said, projecting as much confidence as he could.

He had to convince himself and the others that his friend was going to come out the other side smelling like Meera flowers, because the alternative as too gut-wrenching to deal with in the middle of a haunted forest with a supernatural predator stalking them.

The alternative was pointless to contemplate right now.

Calvin held up his hand.

Calvinian Summoning

Chimera

39/47 Bent remaining

A massive Kurawe manifested in front of him, nearly thirty feet tall. The giant cultist was draped in his usual red cloak and armed with a massive, throbbing sack of flesh replacing his right hand. It was the extra-large flight organ of a refraction spinner, with a few of Calvin’s personal tweaks.

“Kurawe, if you wouldn’t mind punching a hole through time and space behind that tree over there.” Calvin said keeping his voice level as possible, pointing over to where Baroke had disappeared.

I hope this works. It’s gotta work, because this is the best I have right now, and Baroke’s running out of time…

“I’ll try, ravager.” Kurawe said. He brushed the tree aside and lifted his throbbing organ-fist up in the air before slamming it down on the bare earth.

The world lensed as reality seemed to bend around the giant’s fist as space itself warped around the summon.

From Calvin’s perspective, the giant’s fist expanded and brightened while everything else in the world seemed to become small and dark, fading away like tiny little toys shoved in a dark closet.

This altered perception grew until all he could see was a blazing fist  that threatened to engulf the world. The view in front of him began to expand and contract at the pace of a minstril’s guitar. It began to thrum with energy as Calvin felt a tearing sensation that seemed to start at his scalp and travel down his spine, setting every hair on end.

Then, just as suddenly, it was gone, the thrumming vanished, and light was able to touch things over than Kurawe’s fist, uncloaking the surroundings.

Ella was clutching her stomach warily, Kala was frowning, pushing herself to her feet. Ella’s father was backing away and making warding signs.

Nadia looked a little green around the gills, but she kept up her job of acting as the universal observer, keeping several set of eyes on everyone.

Calvin reached up to his scalp and touched the spot he’d experienced the tearing sensation.

Nothing.

“Do it again.” Calvin said. A faint voice told him if one wouldn’t do it, a second strike wouldn’t do anything.

A point in spacetime couldn’t be replicated because they were constantly moving through the fourth dimension. Extra force couldn’t be applied to the same spot by a third dimension creature. And the movement of the planet itself…

Calvin shut that voice up.

“Do it again.”

Kurawe did it again, slamming his reality-warping fist down on the ground with diminishing results.

“Do it again! Calvin shouted at Kurawe’s hesitant expression. They didn’t have time to wait for twelve hours to try and bait the damn thing. He needed to get Baroke out of there now.

What else can I do? If I had a sample of the creature itself, I might be able to make a bridge between here and wherever it is. Damnit! What do I have that can alter the Spinner’s space warping? What would be able to re-open that bridge?

Calvin was dragged out of his spiralling thoughts by Kala’s hand on his shoulder.

“Baroke will be fine.” Kala said, meeting his eyes, speaking with the unshakeable confidence that Calvin had failed to imitate. The possibility of losing his last friend from his childhood felt like he would lose all connection to who he had been before his life became a madhouse.

“How do you know?” Calvin snapped, immediately regretting it.

Her brown eyes searched his for a moment, her lips quirking up in a smile as she noticed his contrition. The slender, dusky princess wordlessly took him by the hand and pulled him toward her, drawing him two steps forward.

Calvin stiffened as she wrapped him in a hug, slowly relaxing into her embrace. Yeah, I need to calm down, He thought, suitably chastised as he idly patted her head.

A bolt of crackling green energy blasted out of nowhere. At its center was an arrow made of solid, silvery steel.

The green bolt of energy traveled directly through the space Calvin had been standing, before hitting a nearby tree. The tree was warped outward by the green energy burning a white-hot hole through it before it exploded into smoking wooden shrapnel.

The arrow never even touched the wood.

The streak of green and silver continued, heading upward into the sky, bowling the clouds aside before disappearing into the blue vastness above their heads, possibly to wreak havoc on some distant world thousands of years from now.

“That’s how I know,” Kala said once the splinters of wood settled, resting her cheek on his chest

A few moments later, Calvin started getting antsy.

“Okay, you saved my life, you can let go of me now.”

“No. More hugs. Your life depends on it.”

Macronomicon

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