Chapter 12: Chapter 11: A Lie on Borrowed Time

CHAPTER

11

A Lie on Borrowed Time

I

The morning lecture would be over any moment now, Kyna knew, and Ryen headed straight to the library as he usually did, soon he’d appear on the other end of the corridor she was in. She waited for him there, trying not to look too conspicuous or obvious.

She walked to and fro to keep up the pretense of performing corridor duty, doing her best to keep her anxiousness from showing. She was concerned about what happened yesterday, and she needed to confirm that Ryen was all right.

It was perfectly common for Mistling Hall elders to have conversations with the initiates—she had had a couple of meetings during her time as an initiate, herself—but she knew that there was something off about the situation. There was definitely more to it than met the eye.

She knew from their first meeting that Ryen wasn’t your average initiate, and her following conversations with him only served to further confirm that notion. Moreover, whatever secret he was hiding, whatever he was involved with, Kyna was positive that it had to do with Hall Leader Tynwen in some way.

She wasn’t sure whether Ryen’s meeting with Hall Leader Tynwen had been a normal one. She didn’t know what exactly was going on, but she had a feeling it wasn’t anything good, and because of that, she couldn’t help but feel worried.

She sighed, rubbing her hands, trying to settle her nerves. As far as she could tell, Ryen knew what he was doing, whatever it was, but … what if? Hall Leader Tynwen was a third-step, and from what he had heard, one of the strongest elders in the sect. If he decided to do something to Ryen, there was nothing Ryen would be able to do about it. He would be completely at the man’s mercy.

The sound of footsteps broke Kyna out of her thoughts, and moments later, Ryen, as well as two other initiates, entered the corridor, having just turned around a corner.

Seeing her, Ryen halted his steps for a moment before smiling, detaching himself from the group as he walked over to her.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but this time around, I’m fairly certain you were waiting for me,” Ryen said as soon as he was close enough.

Kyna looked him over, not even paying the teasing any mind. As far as she could tell, he looked fine. He was being his usual self, too. She breathed out in relief. Just to confirm, however, she asked, “Everything went all right yesterday?”

“Oh.” Ryen’s expression turned a little more serious, though his smile remained on his face. “I’d say there weren’t any big problems.” He gave her a thoughtful look, then said, “Would you like to continue this conversation in my room?”

Relieved that there wasn’t anything wrong, Kyna let herself relax, then promptly nodded her head.

They walked to Ryen’s room in companionable silence, and after arriving there, just like last time, Ryen closed the door and had Kyna sit down on the chair while he plopped down on the bed, facing her.

He then started telling her about yesterday’s meeting with Hall Leader Tynwen.

“He just wanted to get to know me better,” Ryen said, shrugging. “Asked some questions about cultivation and what I’m thinking of the Mistling Hall so far, and inquired a bit about what my relationship with the other initiates was like and about my background. As far as I can tell, the questions he asked were pretty routine—nothing out of the ordinary about them.”

Ryen wasn’t lying, but Kyna had a feeling that what he was telling her wasn’t the entire truth. She didn’t confront Ryen about it, however. She had her suspicions about him since their first meeting, but she had avoided acting on them so far, and she wasn’t planning on doing so now.

She was curious, certainly, but more than anything, she didn’t want to risk what she currently had with Ryen. If she revealed that she knew more than let on—that she knew things about him that she wasn’t supposed to know—she wasn’t sure if their relationship would remain the same.

“What about you?” Ryen asked, drawing Kyna’s attention away from her musings as she perked up. “I take it you also met with the elders a couple of times? What was it like for you?”

Kyna took a moment to think about it. She became a servant almost half a year ago, and she barely thought about the months she spent as an initiate nowadays. It was only when she talked with Ryen that she ever recalled those days.

“I don’t think they were too different from yours, from what you’re describing,” she said. “We mostly just talked about myself and my experiences so far as an initiate. I had a couple of meetings in the first three months, but after I failed to qualify for the first induction exams, I only had two more meetings.”

The elders only really valued initiates that could finish the first chapter of the Viridian Mist Art in three months, and once it became clear that Kyna wasn’t one, she was pretty much set aside and ignored, just like all the other initiates that had also failed to qualify for the first induction exam.

“Then everything seems to be about right.” Ryen shifted a little in the bed, leaning back. “Say, would you happen to know what other initiates Hall Leader Tynwen has met with so far?”

“That…” Kyna wasn’t surprised by that question. She had already been expecting something like this. And in this case, she happened to know the answer. She gave him a nod. “Yesterday, some of the other servants were commenting about this. You see, none of us expected Hall Leader Tynwen to meet with anyone, but over the last few days, he has met with three initiates already. You are the fourth.”

Ryen gave her a strange look, as if he were considering something. Then he leaned forward, straightening his back, his gaze becoming more intense. “Would you happen to know whether he has met with an initiate named Mardyn?”

Something had changed. The way Ryen was looking at her … Kyna didn’t know what it was, but there was something in his eyes that wasn’t there before. “He did,” Kyna said. “The day before yesterday. In the evening, I think. He was the second initiate Hall Leader Tynwen summoned. Before Mardyn he met with a boy called Direush Ahfsun, I think, and after Mardyn, early this morning, a girl called Jiadai Akiyan. Then you, yesterday.”

Again Ryen gave her a long, deep stare, thinking, considering, pondering. Finally, Ryen nodded. “Thank you,” he said, his voice sincere, earnest.

Unable to stand the weight of his stare any longer, Kyna looked away, slightly flushing. She felt an airiness in her stomach.  

“Anyway,” Ryen said, and she turned back to him and realized that he was looking at her normally again, that previous tension from just now gone. “What has your day been like so far? Any troubles with Myra yet?”

With that, they started talking as they usually did, sharing some details about what they had been up to lately. On Kyna’s side, there wasn’t much to share. A servant’s life was pretty dreary, her conversations with Ryen being the only real highlight of her days.

Ryen, on the other hand, had some surprises for her.

He told her about how he had formed a study group with four other initiates, and how they had their first meeting yesterday. Kyna hadn’t been expecting something like this. As far as she knew, no initiate had ever formed any. She didn’t even know study groups were a thing, having never even heard the term before, but based on Ryen’s description of what it was, she could see the value in being part of one.

One thing that caught her attention was that Mardyn, the boy Ryen had just asked about, was a member of the study group. She didn’t think that was a coincidence. Now that she thought about it, she didn’t think that any of the things Ryen did were coincidences. There was just a certain self-assurance about him, in the way he carried himself, that made it seem like everything was under his control.

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If she wasn’t wrong, then whatever Ryen was involved in, so was this Mardyn boy. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what exactly could involve two initiates and a prime elder, though. She was completely out of her depth. Still, she didn’t ask Ryen any questions, nor did he provide any explanations, even though she was certain he had already caught on that she was onto him.

If she hadn’t been sure of it before, after the way Ryen had gazed at her not too long ago, before they changed the topic of their conversation, she no longer had any doubts.

And then Ryen went on to describe the last member of the study group.

“Finally, there’s Ellys,” Ryen said. “He’s Kunyuan, and he seems to really like cultivation. I met him on the way to the library, and he’s actually the one I had my first joint study session with. I think I got the idea….”

Kyna was no longer listening. A Kunyuan boy. There was only one Kunyuan boy among the current initiates. There was no doubt about it—Ryen was talking about that same boy whose very presence sent chills up her spine. That feeling of wrongness, of enmity.

Yesterday, she had tried to tell Ryen about him, but had been interrupted by Myra, then even ended up forgetting about it with all that was going on. Now, though…

“Ryen, there’s something I want to—” Kyna froze, closing her mouth mid-sentence. She looked at Ryen—really looked at him—thinking. Just now, she had thought that nothing with Ryen was a coincidence. And this … wasn’t this a coincidence? Which would mean that it wasn’t a coincidence, but if that was the case…

Did Ryen somehow know that there was something off about the Kunyuan boy, Ellys? Was that why he invited him to the study group? Did he know the feeling Ellys gave her, somehow? Or maybe he also felt that feeling when he looked at him? But in that case, why would he approach the boy, invite him to his group? She didn’t think she’d be able to stand being in Ellys’s presence for too long, let alone actively seek him. Just looking at him from afar gave her the creeps.

Then again, considering the strange feeling Ryen gave her, that made sense. But then would that also mean that Ellys was connected to whatever Ryen was up to? And … was she connected to it, somehow? Was Ryen also struck by a strange, unexplainable feeling when he looked at her? What did he feel, then? Was it the same closeness she felt towards him, or was it the aversion she felt towards Ellys?

There were just too many questions, too many possibilities. She didn’t know what to think, what was going on.

“Kyna?”

With a start, Kyna realized that Ryen had stood up from the bed, and was now kneeling in front of her, looking up at her face, frowning with concern.

“Everything all right?”

“I… I…” Kyna too kin a deep breath. Right. She could do this. She didn’t know what to think, so she would just trust Ryen. And if it turned out she had misplaced her trust …. Well, she had no idea what she’d do, so she really hoped that wouldn’t turn out to be the case.

“That boy, Ellys,” she said, trying to work her thoughts into words. She looked directly into Ryen’s eyes. “I think there’s something strange about him. Something wrong. When I look at him, I feel this feeling of…”

“Aversion? Repulsion?” Ryen said, staring straight back at her. His frown had softened, and his expression now looked understanding.

“You … you feel it too?”

Ryen stood up, taking a step back. Kyna watched his every move attentively.

“I do,” he said, simply.

He wasn’t lying. Kyna closed her eyes. Good. That meant that there wasn’t something wrong with her—that she wasn’t just imagining things. More importantly, though, there was something else she needed to know. “What about … what about me? Do you feel something when you look at me?” She didn’t dare open her eyes yet. Not until she had heard his answer.

Again, without hesitation, Ryen answered, “Yes, but the opposite feeling.”

Kyna breathed out in relief. She couldn’t help it. Opening her eyes, she saw that Ryen was looking at her intently—more than ever before.

“Do you know what’s going on?” she asked. “Do you know what’s causing it?”

At that, Ryen hesitated a little bit. He furrowed his brow. “I’m not … certain.”

Not a lie, either. But the words he used, the way he spoke made it clear that he had his suspicions—some theories about what was going on, or at least an idea.

Did she want to press the issue, though? Did she want to ask that question? She had a feeling that Ryen wouldn’t lie to her if she asked—he hadn’t lied even once since their first meeting—but he hadn’t elaborated for a reason. He didn’t want to tell her.

What happened just now changed their relationship, but they could still go back, put this conversation behind them, pretend that it never happened, or at least let it fade a little. If she pressed the issue and he ended up telling her his theories—which could very well be related to the reason he had come to the sect in the first place—then there was a good chance there wouldn’t be any going back.

Did she want to risk it?

“I see,” she finally said, forcing her expression to relax. “Well, it’s probably nothing anyways.”

Ryen blinked, then he smiled, and once again, the tension was completely gone. He simply nodded his head, then changed the topic of the conversation to the study group and whether she had any topics she recommended they look into, as if the last few minutes had never happened.

Soon Kyna found herself actually relaxing, and before long they were back to the way they usually were, just talking and enjoying each other’s presence.

A while later, the conversation ended as Ryen needed to go to the library to read up on the topic of today’s study group meeting, and after bidding him goodbye, Kyna returned to corridor duty.

On the surface, things were back to the way they used to be, but Kyna knew this semblance of normally was only skin-deep, paper-thin.

In the future, they would have to address that matter. It was only a matter of time. But for the time being, Kyna figured she’d just enjoy what they currently had.

It probably wasn’t the right thing to do, but she didn’t care. She was happy the way things were, even if she was living a lie on borrowed time.

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