Chapter 21: 21

When I was your man, The First. 

Many relationships come together to form one destiny. Moments that have passed inadvertently also become important memories and come rushing like a huge tidal wave. 

It was a 13-year-old boy named Muhammad Collie who moved Ha Joyoon to a temporary residence for the militia after he had lost consciousness in the crossfire.

Collie’s parents, who had impressive clear eyes and deep double eyelids, lost their lives during the brutal Arab Spring, a civil war in between Muammar Gaddafi and Anti-Gaddafi forces. Ha Joyoon had been staying in Libya before he planned to move to Syria at the time, and was filming the wartime situation when found a crying young boy wrapped in a blood-drenched hijab between a corpse presumed to be a woman.

 

 

When he rescued the child who was shaking with fear among the dead, throwing away his camera, he did not think that his relationship with the child would continue. However, like the process in which a knot of fate is formed by chance and coincidence, the time spent in struggling to save a child did not end as merely a moment of the past.

As if by fate, while filming the scene between the Libyan and Syrian borders, even in extreme situations where no correspondence could be sent, Ha Joyoon often reunited with Collie. It was such a strange reunion that it was called a relationship led by their God, Allah. Despite the wide age gap, the two developed a quiet friendship with a deep bond. 

شكرا …

 

When he first opened his eyes, the boy whispered with tears in his big eyes. The incessant tears of joy shed by the boy as he whispered the same word constantly caused Ha Joyoon to cry too. “I’m glad you’re alive. Thank God I can see you again.” Collie hugged Ha Joyoon with his skinny arms on the last night of parting to cross the border, and whispered; “Yoon, let’s meet again someday”. That’s how he thought he would continue. How he would carry on.

***

Click

 

He stared blankly at the picture on the screen with his chin in his palm. The recent incident and characters from the coverage site filled the monitor.

“Is this the final?”

At the familiar voice, his brown eyes returned. Nam Hyunwoo scratched the nape of his neck as he looked at him silently, and his cheeks reddened slightly.

 

“Did I disturb you? I was just passing by and was curious.” 

“No, I was just blanking for a bit. … I didn’t get it approved by the editor yet, could you take a look?”

“Everything looks good to me.”

Nam Hyunwoo muttered as he bent down and looked at the monitor with him. The other party remained silent on his word as if he didn’t want a proper evaluation.

As an expressionless face slipped through his side eyes, Nam Hyunwoo remembered the first time Ha Joyoon came to work. Although not flashy, his elegant and neat appearance stopped people’s eyes once in a while. Even though it hasn’t been long since he got to know him, he really liked how reticent and sincere he was as time passed. 

“Oh, did you hear about the welcoming party today?”

“Welcome party?”

Nam Hyunwoo shrugged his shoulders at the sight of the man who was hearing about it for the first time. It was an expected situation.

“Oh, come on. Really? Today is your welcoming party.” 

At those words, a serious energy drifted across the well-groomed face. He seemed to be worried. Several months had already passed since he started coming back to work.

“But it’s been a while since I got back…”

 

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

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“Qfii, la tjr yffc j ofk yers wbcatr.” 

“…….”

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“I have nothing to complain about.”

Ha Joyoon seemed to be surprised for a moment, and then smiled quietly as he shook his head. His gaze moved slowly to the other side. A large private office room that occupied the entire side of the office, the door that had rarely been opened since morning. It was the office of a man whose face he had not seen properly for several weeks. 

Since the incident that took place during the protest, Ha Joyoon hadn’t had the chance to face Shin Kwonjoo alone. They didn’t have a close relationship to begin with, but after that incident, the atmosphere between them wasn’t the most pleasant. In fact, in practical terms, it was rare for the director and ordinary journalists to meet face-to-face at work, as most matters were resolved with the editor-in-chief, so the chances to see the Shin Kwonjoo naturally decreased.

In the beginning, he tried to approach the man several times as he couldn’t quite grasp the situation, but only when the man’s cold shoulder lasted for more than a month did Ha Joyoon vaguely sense that he was being avoided.

“Anyway, make time for tonight. Everyone’s very excited for today so don’t expect to go home early.”

Ha Joyoon slightly nodded and smiled at Nam Hyunwoo as the man let out a mischievous chuckle. Hanging out with people was a matter of discomfort to him, but he was willing to do anything as long as it meant that he could forget the pain of the breakup even for a moment. 

***

“Cheers!”

A cheerful voice rose to the top of the room. And higher than that were the glasses filled with alcohol raised as high as possible. After the editor-in-chief’s toast was over, they took turns emptying the glasses prepared in the right proportions. Due to the nature of the news company, the participants were adequately composed of their own native citizens and Koreans plus foreigners who belonged to the headquarters, but the glasses that were given out were of an equal amount. Of course, the main character of the belated welcome party could not avoid this either.

Trying to adjust to the noisy place, Ha Joyoon listened to people as carefully as he  could and answered the questions. This attitude was opposite to the one he had always had; taking a step away from the crowd. It felt uncomfortable and stuffy, as if he was wearing clothes that didn’t suit him, but it didn’t matter. Rather, it was better to feel that way. Thanks to the on-the-spot discomfort, he wouldn’t have time to flounder in useless emotions. 

The longer the train of thought, the stronger the grip holding the glass. Even in the midst of the commotion, the hole in the middle of the chest gave no signs of shrinking.

Ring Ring—

The sound of awnings echoed from the doorway. An unexpected word came into Ha Joyoon’s ears, who didn’t even pay attention because he was just one of those who walked in and out of the bar.

The shade rang from the doorway. An unexpected word caught Ha Jo-yoon’s ear, who was not paying any attention to the visitor, thinking he was one of the many going in or out of the pub. 

“Director, over here!”

In the place where he turned his head instantly, a large figure could be seen among the people. A tall man in a well-cut navy-tone custom-made business suit was striding toward the table with a stiff expression on his face. It was Shin Kwonjoo.

 

A long time had passed since he had seen him properly, because of which, Ha Joyoon was unable to take his eyes off him for a while. The man who tends to increase the density of the air around him did not fit well in a pub with a relaxed atmosphere. Ha Joyoon thought he wouldn’t come. He slowly blinked his eyes, moving the half-empty glass in circles.

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As if it was the same for others, those who had been talking in a languid manner until a while ago greeted their boss with their backs straight. He looked around for a while, dissuading the staff who guided him to the center, and took a seat at the end of the table. 

“You’re a little late.”

“I’m sorry. There was traffic.”

“We’re going to drink all night, Director.”

“I can’t stay long. I’m just here to join you all for a little while.” 

Shin Kwonjoo answered in a low voice and opened the menu. One of the employees offered him a toast, but even that was mildly declined. Perhaps it was because he was not able to eat properly due to his heavy workload, but his straight nose was sharper than usual. At some point, the gaze of the man, who was talking to the employees at the same table, was stuck on Ha Joyoon. Dark and serious eyes that wouldn’t disclose what he was thinking.

But before he could read any emotion in his eyes, Shin Kwonjoo turned his head again with his mouth firmly closed. Ha Joyoon stared at him for a while, then slowly closed his eyes, and opened them again to focus on the person sitting next to him.

In the blink of an eye. That’s all it took.

As time went by, the heated atmosphere did not cool down. Although they were not particularly buddy-buddy with each other, moderate alcohol was enough to break down the barriers between people. As the number of drink exchanges increased, Ha Joyoon’s face was also gradually getting red. 

Many stories related to various topics were circulated on the table. Regardless, the topic that converged at the end was a cliché as it took the shape of dating that was common to everyone. In the midst of the noisy conversation, each other’s stories came and went. As people from different countries were mixed, their views on love, values, methods, and types of relationships were also different. Ha Joyoon, leaving behind his dazed mind, also listened to the love stories of other people. Someone’s love while someone else’s separation, they all had their own forms and colors.

It was when he was sipping alcohol while listening to the other person’s story silently when Nam Hyunwoo suddenly took the seat next to him and poked Ha Joyoon’s side.

“You look sleepy.”

“Is that so?” 

“What’s with the question? I’m just saying what I can see.”

He burst out into a playful laugh after awkwardly scratching his cheek. Following that small movement, the alcohol in the man’s glass swayed. A blue-eyed man who was eating snacks right in front of them asked a question in a somewhat slurred Korean. He was one of the journalists from New York, with impressive gray-blonde hair, but whose name Ha Joyoon couldn’t remember.

“Are you two serious with anyone?”

The speed of chopsticks, which had been moving meaninglessly, slowed down at his question, and then came to a complete stop. The eyes dropped down for a moment, and trembled. It was Nam Hyunwoo who answered first. 

“I’m getting married next year. Getting married.”

Nam Hyunwoo frowned in a playful manner as he repeated. The next interest naturally shifted to Ha Joyoon. Trying to ignore the burning sensation in his throat, Ha Joyoon slowly poured water into the empty glass. The white porcelain cup was moderately filled with cold tea.

 

“What kind of person is your girlfriend, Ha Joyoon-ssi?”

Nam Hyunwoo asked again on behalf of the stranger who didn’t get an answer. The lips, which had been closed for a moment, opened without a sound. 

“I don’t have one.”

Nam Hyunwoo’s eyes widened as if it was a rather unexpected answer. The attention of some who were focused on the stories of other groups also shifted to their side.

“Oh, really? That’s unlikely.”

The man gave an apologetic look for saying something stupid. Ha Joyoon smiled bitterly and drank the tea. A cool sensation ran down his throat. It was refreshing enough to forget even the headache that followed me in a frenzy. 

“I had one, but we broke up.”

“Oh…”

He could feel someone’s gaze on him from afar. Ha Joyoon, without turning his head, calmly continued in a low voice.

“It hasn’t been long.” 

The embarrassment in the other person’s complexion intensified. Nam Hyunwoo hesitated more than usual and tried to change the topic, not knowing how to properly rectify the situation he caused.

“You can meet someone else. Lots of fish in the sea. Ha Joyoon-ssi is also easy on the eyes.”

“That’s right, you’re so handsome.”

A female employee sitting at the next table tilted her head slightly and intervened. She continued, awkwardly rubbing the nape of her neck. 

“There are a lot of people around me who are breaking up too. I guess it’s because of our age group? They’re all trying to get married. I had a big breakup last year.”

“I see.”

It’s a world that has nothing to do with me. It’s not about being gay, but I’ve never really thought of marrying a woman and starting a family. No, it’s more accurate to say that I didn’t have time to even think about it. It’s still a luxury to imagine and contemplate who will be next to me in the future.

“Just don’t hang onto them.” 

Nam Hyunwoo added after emptying another glass of beer. It was his mistake to let his guard down on the topic that naturally fell into the conversation. The forced smile Ha Joyoon had on his face until then completely disappeared. His mind was bleached white and his heart was pounding erratically. However, to grasp such a situation, Nam Hyunwoo belonged to a rather insensitive axis.

“No, I want you, I can’t… just don’t do this when they’re trying to break up.”

 

“What? No. If one side breaks up unilaterally, you can do that.”

“Well, that’s possible, but it’s a pain for the person trying to break up. They want to break up quickly and meet someone else, but the ex keeps clinging on.” 

“Oh my, Nam Hyunwoo-ssi, is that from experience?”

The eyes of the female employees around Nam Hyunwoo as he spoke somewhat exaggeratedly, became fierce at once. Then, suddenly, another employee spoke up.

“But clinginess is frustrating when you don’t have feelings for them anymore. Coming by the house, sending texts or calling after breaking up… is a bit annoying, no?

Both men and women nodded at those words. 

“You just get sick and tired of it. Any remaining feelings for them go away too.”

“Right, like a text at dawn asking if you’re up right after the break up? Being contacted like this drives me insane.”

Interesting experiences of each other went back and forth in the words of common sympathy. The stories that were somewhat caricatured than the actual situation were enough to attract the attention of others. Ha Joyoon blankly tilted his empty glass as he leaned against the wall with his tired body hanging.

Most of the jokes are actions that correspond to me. Just like one’s habit of chewing popcorn while watching movies, the process of turning someone’s lingering feelings and someone’s foolishness into someone else’s joke was nothing but a matter unworthy of dwelling on. 

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