Chapter 9: Arc 1 Ch. 8: The Devil is a Part-Time Drunk

After our last exchange, the two of us walked together in an unusually surprising silence for some time with only the moonlight and the occasional lantern to guide our steps. I studied Zack out of the corner of my eye. He looked like he was around my age back when I was on Earth, just a bit older than my current appearance would suggest. It’s not as if I was a pervert like him, though!

Then I caught him also glancing at me. “What?” I asked.

He looked away. “I’m sorry about earlier. And… that dress looks good on you.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Thanks.” Wait, why was he getting so weird all of the sudden?! “Are you going to start randomly hassling me later about coins again?”

He reached into a pocket and pulled out two silver coins with a smirk. “You missed a couple earlier.”

Sleazeball! “Hey, that’s…! Well, fine. Now we’re even, okay?” Little did he know that this also made him complicit. Not that he seemed like he would really care either way…

Zack led us back to the river but signaled for us to turn instead of crossing the bridge. After another minute of silence, he cleared his throat and spoke up. “So, what were you doing around Ciedrich’s place? You haven’t heard the rumors about him, have you?”

“What, that he’s a total creep?” I replied.

Zack stopped dead in his tracks. “He... Look, just stay away from that guy, okay?”

That’s rich coming from you, I was tempted to say. “You don’t have to tell me that. Did you really have to stop though?”

He pointed behind him. “We’re here.”

The rowdy laughter and shouting coming from within the enormous building he had taken me to suggested yet another tavern, but the exterior seemed more like a small fortress. The structure was several times wider and towered several stories above the surrounding buildings with a sign above its impressive entryway that read…

“You brought me to a tavern called ‘The Age of Depravity?’ This place sounds perfect for you,” I prodded.

“Look who’s talking,” he fired back.

“Screw you! In case you were thinking something sleazy again, I can teleport, you know!”

“Good for you,” he sighed. “Relax, you’ll be fine. The answers you want are in there.” He pulled open the door and motioned me in. I only needed a single peek inside to confirm that the situation was far more complicated than I had imagined:

The demons had already invaded the city.

***

First came the noise, much louder and more offensive to the senses than it had been a moment ago. Next came the stench: mixed smells of booze, sweat, and worse assaulted my nostrils. Then, I gaped at the spectacle of countless scantily clad barmaids darting to-and-fro, each with a pair of horns, a forked tail, and two batlike wings.

“They’re all succubuses! Real succubuses! Or is it ‘succubi?’” I pondered aloud.

“It’s called ‘you’re standing in the best damn alehouse in the world,’” Zack quipped.

A series of long wooden tables lined the ground floor room, a pair of benches straddling each one. The succubus barmaids flitted about carrying trays of filled tankards to scattered groups of noisy patrons. One of them was even giving a very intimate lap dance to some lucky bastard.

The approach of a much taller succubus with a long, whiplike tail interrupted my inspection of the other waitresses. Her absolutely massive breasts threatened to burst out of her skimpy outfit as she sauntered toward us.

“Welcome to the Age of Depravity,” she greeted in a sultry voice while looking us up and down. “Can I get you two…” She seductively licked her lips. “A room?”

“No!” I blurted out.

The succubus tittered, evidently amused by my reaction. “Then perhaps you’re here to watch tonight’s match.” With a well-practiced motion, she smoothly gestured toward a sizeable crowd gathered at the far end of the room.

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“Yeah, that’s where we’re headed,” Zack agreed.

He took off toward the gathering, but I stopped him. “Hold on, you never told me what we were doing, and now you want to bring me straight into a huge crowd full of like a hundred sweaty grown-ass men?!”

Zack rolled his eyes. “I already told you that you’ll be fine. They don’t need to know I’m off-duty right now.” He patted the hilt of his short sword. “And if you’re worried about passing out, take one of these.”

He reached over to a bowl near the entrance that was filled with small colorless candies. Zack tossed one to me before plopping one in his mouth. The candy didn’t taste like anything, but after I started eating it the nauseating odor that permeated the interior slowly disappeared until all I could smell was beer. Really good beer. I guess that’s one way to address the issue and get customers in the mood to purchase.

An even louder shout rang out from the crowd. “Damn, it’s starting,” Zack cursed.

We hurried toward the far end of the room and found an open spot at the crowd's edge. The sight that met us defied reason.

At the center of the gathering were eight seated figures. On one side, seven burly men sat in a row chugging whole tankards of ale as fast as the succubus barmaids could set new ones down on the table before them, the crowd cheering them on all the while. Across from them sat a giant humanoid figure chugging entire kegs one at a time. Even sitting down, the giant ‘man’ was slightly taller than me. He was decked out in bulky armor as black as midnight with shoulder plates shaped like skulls, and what I could see of his withered, deathly pale face made him look like Santa Claus’ evil drunk twin, minus the facial hair. Only then did I notice a huge banner splayed across the back wall with faded words that read, Slay the Demon King Challenge!

That… can’t be right.

One by one, each of the seven burly men took their last drink of the night before collapsing this way or that. Every downed participant elicited another round of frantic groans from the crowd until they had all passed out. As a bystander began hoisting up one of the barely conscious contenders to his feet, he shouted at the pale giant, “They’ll get you next time, Mao!”

The giant figure let out a hearty drunken guffaw. “That's what you said last week!” he bellowed.

The guy with the dark skull armor? Mao? “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me. Don’t tell me… is he the Demon King?” I asked Zack, pointing at the giant.

Zack fought back uncontrollable laughter as though he’d just heard the funniest joke in his life.

I must have spoken too loudly because the giant shifted to face me. His sunken eyes glowed an unnatural color, but they weren’t the least bit hostile.

“Sure am, lass.” Given the absolutely inhuman amount of alcohol he had just consumed, his speech was surprisingly coherent. Still, he was clearly drunk—and…

The Demon King.

I had seen way, way too much in this one day already. I felt like I was about ready to pass out myself, but curiosity got the better of me and I stepped up closer to him through what remained of the standing crowd. “Shouldn’t you be a bit more concerned?” I asked him. “Where I’m from, people are always trying to kill the Demon King.”

He let out another hearty guffaw. “Believe me, these poor saps tried!” He gestured with a gauntleted hand at the line of seven passed out men across from him who were getting hauled up and out by their buddies.

I gave a heavy sigh; I didn’t even know where to begin with this development. “Does this mean that the only way to kill you is by beating you in a drinking contest?”

In one horrifying moment, the Demon King appeared to sober up before narrowing his ghastly eyes at me. “Now wait just a minute there. You’re not one of those new adventurers in town who are really out to kill me, are you?”

Suddenly, the whole tavern fell excruciatingly quiet. Everyone in the room practically froze on the spot as I felt every single pair of eyes staring at me.

I gulped. “Uh… yes?”

I held my breath and locked my knees in agitation. I almost wished I would pass out for real—until to my amazement, the Demon King’s expression slowly softened back into his earlier jovial state.

“Now there’s a brave lass! Minerva, bring her a round!”

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