Until the seasons turned cold, until the dream wakes, until, finally, He Jünle is pregnant, and the Princess-さま that has been worrying herself dead over how to produce an offspring from two men is finally relieved.
What a cause for celebration, truly.
Celebration.
Murong Jihua’s face muscles are tensing and relaxing over and over.
It truly is tiring just continuing to live.
“Ah,” Her Highness Elizabeth knocks herself on the head to add, “almost forgot the actual business.”
She maintains her pose of sitting on the ground as she retrieves a leather-bound experiment report from beneath her dress. Her fingers grip hard on the feather pen, and winks with a hopeful expression at Murong Jihua, asking,
“Mu-dage, please me dices the signs of Mr Jünle’s pregnancy! Esta tiene que está some valuable experience of la riqueza in human history… And you are the walking top-level experiment project!”
Murong Jihua’s clenches his chest and discreetly extends a hand behind his waist. He gives a side-eye to the device’s screen’s Baidu search results.
Q: What are the signs of early pregnancy?
A: …
Before Murong Jihua has finished copying the words on screen onto his brain cells and then onto his tongue, He Jünle just waves his hand which just so happens to block Murong Jihua’s little questionable act.
“One, interruption in the menstrual cycle.”
──He Jünle retrieves a tampon from deep in the blankets that is white as paper.
“I only noticed it recently.”
???
Excuse me?
What has been interrupted???
Holy shit our bro in black skin over there is going so pale he could pass for Michael Jackson, oi!
Bro, it would have been more believable if you said you’ve stopped having happy accidents in your pants than something as ridiculous as your fucking menstrual cycle stopping!
Do you even have a womb? Why would you also undergo the phenomenon of endometrial shedding!!!
…
Though, really, given they’ve even got a foetus, then it must somehow be inside of an organ… So rounding up, the atypical shedding causing the interruption in the menstrual cycle would… make sense… right?
Though Princess Elizabeth…
Murong Jihua tries to suppress the twitching of his eyelids as much as possible as he looks down.
?
She’s actually buying it?
And she’s recording what he said with both her hands rushing past the paper at over 15 characters/second?
He Jünle…
He looks at the young man’s attractive nape as he continues lying in his embrace as he bullshits his way forth.
As expected, the Gary Stu is still the great Gary Stu.
He Jünle even kindly asks, “have you done jotting down notes yet?”
The Princess nods.
“Two, swelling and pain in the breasts.”
──He Jünle simply grabs onto the pretty girl kneeling on the floor to guide her into crashing into his chest──
Murong Jihua, with lightning reflexes, quickly grabs onto Her Highness’ wrists and, with a slightly choking tone, replies,
“… This shaoye can attest, so you do not have to verify it yourself.”
He Jünle merely smiles in response but does not say anything.
Her Highness Elizabeth’s displeasure almost looks like it could show up at any moment. That face of looking like she’s almost going to cry is really so pitiful and cute.
Who would believe him if he told you that this face is that of what is actually a scientific maniac of a zombified female corpse?
“Three, increase and appetite and drowsiness..”
He Jünle points to himself and then at Murong Jihua, saying with a neutral tone,
“Look, I was asleep so badly Jihua thought I’d fainted entirely. After the whole debacle sending me to the hospital, it turns out I was pregnant. We were pleasantly surprised,”
He turns his head to breathe right onto Murong Jihua’s neck, asking,
“Isn’t that right?”
…
The pleasant part aside, the surprise is accurate.
Murong Jihua nods, in agreement, “mmhm, yeah, I’m so happy. Ho, hoho, ha, haha.”
Her Highness lowers her head quietly to mark these down in detail on her notebook.
Murong Jihua quietly turns his attention downwards with a glance,
“… Pregnancy records:
Interruptions in bleeding, with clean tampons;
S.O. did not allow feeling of breast area;
Appetite and drowsiness increase, with S.O. mistaking it for passing out; whether vitals are present are unknown…”
“…”
If you gave this to any biology teacher in any high school on Earth, you’ll be giving up your marks for the whole ‘procedure’ section of your report.
After the group has merrily surrounded He Jünle for quite a while, Murong Jihua finally has the presence of mind to recall the poor black bro standing somewhere out there.
He raises his head with a happy smile to wave at Blai’nd, “Your Highness, are you…”
──Only to see there is no one there.
?
He Jünle furrows his brow, and notwithstanding his ‘increasingly clumsy’ body, moves towards Blai’nd’s previous occupied direction, tapping his hands there to ask, “are you alright?”
──Finally, Murong Jihua can see that Blai’nd hasn’t left at all.
Merely, his face continued paling more and more as the soul-shattering events played out one by one in front of him, until now, when his skin is no longer distinguishable in colour from pure white paint…
Add to that the light-speed journey the Prince just had which has had his colourful pieces of clothing removed, leaving only his snow-white dress and upperwear behind…
──He is perfectly blending into the white wallpaper just standing there.
Being slapped by He Jünle finally starts returning colour to the pale Prince’s face, but he does look mostly grey right now.
He really is this close to mentally collapsing.
──He clamps onto He Jünle’s shoulders with a clear question mark hovering above his head, asking,
“Miss Bai, please tell me the truth. Are you actually a male or female?
Or are you Orientals… I mean, Country A residents are such bizarre creatures that contain sexual organs of both genders?!──Oh my dear Lord, this reminds me of my home country’s legends, that undying, ever-present intersex Lord in the Sky.”
“Intersex?”
He Jünle furrows his brows, waving Blai’nd’s hands away, saying,
“No, I’m not.”
He tidies his crumpled collar to say, “I’m a man, through and through.”
Blai’nd can only reply, with his eyes widened and bulging out, “oh…”