Chapter 144: CH 144

Yiyoung frowned, face crumpling like she was on the verge of crying. Muyeol said nothing as he held her, but she was somehow touched by the action; perhaps because she was in love with him. Though she didn’t know exactly how Muyeol felt about her, she could instinctively feel whether he was happy, sad, angry, scared, or confused.
His body told her that he was in love with her, that he was happy being with her. But at the same time, the slight tremble of his body told her that he was afraid. Muyeol was a person who, since his childhood, hadn’t learned how to be in a long-term relationship with anyone, but he did know how to love others. And what Yiyoung could do for him was…
“Okay, let’s just say that we are. Why don’t you go back to work now? I’m going to focus on my practice as well,” Yiyoung said brightly as she stepped back.
Muyeol’s heart broke as she stepped away from his embrace.
“What practice?” he asked.
“Practice wielding an ax.”
“What do you mean, wielding an ax?”
Yiyoung realized that she made a mistake saying that, so she quickly corrected herself, “I mean, I’m going to practice what I learned in classes today.”
‘Classes? She’s taking a lot of them,’ Muyeol thought, ‘How is she going to practice for all of them?’
Leaving him all confused, Yiyoung waved at Muyeol and went to the bedroom. After staring at the closed bedroom door, Muyeol turned away and left for his study. He had a feeling that if he followed her into the bedroom, he would discover a part of himself that he’d never seen before. So he closed the door of his study firmly, locking himself in to control his feelings.

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Muyeol sat down and turned on his laptop, thinking that if he just focused on his work, then he wouldn’t think so much about Yiyoung. It worked at first. He read a report on the increase in stock prices, and the contents of the press release.
The atmosphere in the company was good; it supported Muyeol. He’d received endless amounts of calls from people congratulating him, and there were already multiple shareholders who’d disclosed their decision to support him at the stockholders’ meeting. It was to the point that even holding Yiyoung next to him didn’t seem necessary anymore.
‘Darn it,’ Muyeol thought. Now all his attention was on Yiyoung again. He wondered whether he would have to break up with her. It didn’t have to be now, but he wondered if he should let go of her before she could apologize and leave him.
He wouldn’t care if she published the details of their intimate relationship. He would rather like it, in fact, since it meant that she would forever remember the memories they shared.
Muyeol clutched his head with both hands. He was an idiot, the worst one there. Ever since she’d confessed her feelings for him, he felt he was growing dumber, unable to make any move.
He pulled out a table drawer, and took out the diary hidden inside. He opened the diary and read each page before rubbing his face with a hand. The diary revealed his honest feelings.
Muyeol was too young to realize it back then, but all his attention had been on Yiyoung. When he was a teenager, and even now, his only focus was Yiyoung. And all the different emotions he’d experienced till now were all recorded in the diary.
He didn’t feel as if he’d been the same way as he’d written himself to be. Muyeol had acted one way while actually feeling like the other. But what he did know was that he fell in love with her at first sight.
Muyeol closed his diary and rubbed his hands over his face, feeling conflicted. It was unpleasant for him to face himself when he was being so fearful and pessimistic. All he had to do was say, “I love you,” too. Was there another idiot like him in the world? Everything would be just fine if he acted like nothing happened and simply told her what he was keeping to himself.

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