When I Loved You
She hadn’t seen Muyeol for a while now. By the time Yiyoung would finish her shift and reach home, Muyeol would have already gone to work; and before he came home from work, it would be time for Yiyoung to go to the hospital, only to repeat the cycle. Just like Muyeol had said, nothing had changed.
‘Actually…’ she thought. There was one thing that had changed after their marriage. She no longer had to take care of household chores. A clean house with the fridge stocked with delicious food and the laundry all folded nicely would always awaited her. She didn’t even have to go grocery shopping now. Yiyoung used to buy packets of ramen on her way back home from work, but now the kitchen cabinets were already stocked with different flavors of the ramen packets. Her life was a lot more convenient now, and she was glad to be able to simply rest when at home, not having to worry about anything else.
She smiled suddenly, surprised that she was already calling that place her home. After all, it had only been a few weeks since they had moved in together. “I am so skilled at adjusting to a new environment!”
She definitely had the right to boast. She had gotten used to seeing Muyeol all drenched in sweat after his morning run and the sound of the door unlocking as he came home from work pretty fast.
Muyeol always made the most out of his days. He would return home late even if he didn’t have to work; considering his position at the company, he probably had to attend lots of meetings involving alcohol. But she had never heard him stumble around drunkenly. Yiyoung concluded he was an extremely composed man.
He never used to let anyone get close to him when he was young, and it seemed like he was still the same. Whenever he was home, she couldn’t hear him talking on the phone much. If he ever did get a call, it was always about work. His phone was simply an accessory for him.
One day, she had asked him out of curiosity, “Why are you not picking up the phone?”
“What good news could I expect from calls like these?”
“You never know… What if something happened to your grandmother and you’re needed urgently?”
“Then her secretary will contact me.”
“Oh… Well, I don’t have a secretary. So what should I do if something happens to me?”
Muyeol had only stared at her for a moment.
“I’m married now, so I can’t call my uncle in case of an emergency anymore. Or… should I just call Uncle Sangsu?” Yiyoung had continued.
It was then that he said, “Call me.”
“Call… you?”
“Of course. You have to.”
“Anytime?”
“Whenever you need to.”
That made Yiyoung giggle and say, “Okay!”
Ever since that conversation, she had been unable to see Muyeol. She had nothing specific she needed to tell him, and she did not like him as a lover either, yet not being able to see for a while made her feel empty inside. It would be fine if he showed up in those sweaty joggers of his, she just wanted to see him.
Yiyoung let out an even bigger yawn this time, her eyes prickling with pain from how dry they were, almost as if there were grains of sand inside them. “I can’t any more. My eyes might pop out.”
She dug around her pocket for a bottle of eye drops she always carried around with her. As she dropped the solution into her eyes, she decided she would reject any other doctors who asked her for a favor. She really needed to take care of herself. She always cared for others’ situations and hardships, but she didn’t want to help them if it came at the cost of draining herself to such an extent. She wanted to sleep for a long time at night, too!
Yiyoung glanced around the ER. After the initial storm of incoming patients were treated, things had finally settled to a peaceful pace. It was the perfect time to take a coffee break,
“I’ll be back after getting a coffee,” Yiyoung informed one of the nurses.
“Okay, doctor.”
“It’d be great if you could get us some.”
Yiyoung smiled at them and went to the break room. She emptied her pocketful of coins into the vending machine and grabbed the coffee cans.
Just as she took a sip from one of them, a voice addressed her from behind, “Could I ask you to get one for me, too?”
Yiyoung turned around to see who the voice belonged to and found Dr. Kang, who worked the same shifts as her. They were rivals in a, frankly speaking, rigged competition. Whenever it came to important decisions, Professor Jung always chose Dr. Kang, all because his parents were Professor Jung’s colleagues. She was sure they had asked Professor Jung to look after their son.
Even though she tried hard not to think so negatively, when she looked around and found multiple people being supported behind the scenes all because of their connections, she could not deny the truth. And in the midst of all that was Yiyoung, struggling desperately to survive on her own.
She was already used to this sort of unfair treatment, but it did not make her feel any less bitter about it. Deep down, she had hoped that her performance would be judged without any bias.
“Can I drink this?” Dr. Kang asked as he watched her grab another can from the machine.
“Five cents,” said Yiyoung.
“You’re not generous…”
“Yes, thank you.” Yiyoung held out her palm in front of Dr. Kang, not blinking once in the process.
He pulled out a dollar bill from his pockets. “Just save the change for later.”
“Then pay the fee for making me save it.”
“You sure are funny sometimes. Come on, just spend it the next time you get coffee.”
“Thank you.” Yiyoung let out a short laugh.
But Dr. Kang did not leave the break room even after getting his coffee. He hung around and fidgeted as if he had something to tell Yiyoung.
“What? Did something happen?” Yiyoung asked, “If you’re going to ask me to cover your overnight shift again, it’s a no.”
“No, it’s nothing like that,” Dr. Kang trailed off, “I’m not sure how to say this…”
Yiyoung counted the coffee cans she needed to get for the nurses. “Do you have something to say?”
“Yes. I think it’s better for you to hear it from me before Professor Jung tells you… but I’m nervous about how you’ll take the news.”
Yiyoung faced him. “Then tell me now. You never know when we’ll have time to talk again.”
Dr. Kang sighed, the hesitation on his face making it seem like the news was something that would be incredibly difficult for her to deal with. “About the seminar that happened recently, I know people were talking behind my back and claiming that I could only lead the seminar because of my connections.”
Yiyoung remembered that day. The day Muyeol and Yiyoung had reunited, there was a seminar going on in the hospital. But she silently continued to listen to him.
“So… Professor Jung asked me to help him write his thesis.”
The moment Dr. Kang delivered the news, Yiyoung realized what this was all about. He was trying to imply that he had successfully joined hands with the professor, and was rubbing his success in the competition in her face.
Chapter 56: CH 56
‘Actually…’ she thought. There was one thing that had changed after their marriage. She no longer had to take care of household chores. A clean house with the fridge stocked with delicious food and the laundry all folded nicely would always awaited her. She didn’t even have to go grocery shopping now. Yiyoung used to buy packets of ramen on her way back home from work, but now the kitchen cabinets were already stocked with different flavors of the ramen packets. Her life was a lot more convenient now, and she was glad to be able to simply rest when at home, not having to worry about anything else.
She smiled suddenly, surprised that she was already calling that place her home. After all, it had only been a few weeks since they had moved in together. “I am so skilled at adjusting to a new environment!”
She definitely had the right to boast. She had gotten used to seeing Muyeol all drenched in sweat after his morning run and the sound of the door unlocking as he came home from work pretty fast.
Muyeol always made the most out of his days. He would return home late even if he didn’t have to work; considering his position at the company, he probably had to attend lots of meetings involving alcohol. But she had never heard him stumble around drunkenly. Yiyoung concluded he was an extremely composed man.
He never used to let anyone get close to him when he was young, and it seemed like he was still the same. Whenever he was home, she couldn’t hear him talking on the phone much. If he ever did get a call, it was always about work. His phone was simply an accessory for him.
One day, she had asked him out of curiosity, “Why are you not picking up the phone?”
“What good news could I expect from calls like these?”
“You never know… What if something happened to your grandmother and you’re needed urgently?”
“Then her secretary will contact me.”
“Oh… Well, I don’t have a secretary. So what should I do if something happens to me?”
Muyeol had only stared at her for a moment.
“I’m married now, so I can’t call my uncle in case of an emergency anymore. Or… should I just call Uncle Sangsu?” Yiyoung had continued.
It was then that he said, “Call me.”
“Call… you?”
“Of course. You have to.”
“Anytime?”
“Whenever you need to.”
That made Yiyoung giggle and say, “Okay!”
Ever since that conversation, she had been unable to see Muyeol. She had nothing specific she needed to tell him, and she did not like him as a lover either, yet not being able to see for a while made her feel empty inside. It would be fine if he showed up in those sweaty joggers of his, she just wanted to see him.
She dug around her pocket for a bottle of eye drops she always carried around with her. As she dropped the solution into her eyes, she decided she would reject any other doctors who asked her for a favor. She really needed to take care of herself. She always cared for others’ situations and hardships, but she didn’t want to help them if it came at the cost of draining herself to such an extent. She wanted to sleep for a long time at night, too!
Yiyoung glanced around the ER. After the initial storm of incoming patients were treated, things had finally settled to a peaceful pace. It was the perfect time to take a coffee break,
“I’ll be back after getting a coffee,” Yiyoung informed one of the nurses.
“Okay, doctor.”
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“Would you guys want coffee as well?”“It’d be great if you could get us some.”
Yiyoung smiled at them and went to the break room. She emptied her pocketful of coins into the vending machine and grabbed the coffee cans.
Just as she took a sip from one of them, a voice addressed her from behind, “Could I ask you to get one for me, too?”
Yiyoung turned around to see who the voice belonged to and found Dr. Kang, who worked the same shifts as her. They were rivals in a, frankly speaking, rigged competition. Whenever it came to important decisions, Professor Jung always chose Dr. Kang, all because his parents were Professor Jung’s colleagues. She was sure they had asked Professor Jung to look after their son.
Even though she tried hard not to think so negatively, when she looked around and found multiple people being supported behind the scenes all because of their connections, she could not deny the truth. And in the midst of all that was Yiyoung, struggling desperately to survive on her own.
She was already used to this sort of unfair treatment, but it did not make her feel any less bitter about it. Deep down, she had hoped that her performance would be judged without any bias.
“Can I drink this?” Dr. Kang asked as he watched her grab another can from the machine.
“Five cents,” said Yiyoung.
“You’re not generous…”
“Yes, thank you.” Yiyoung held out her palm in front of Dr. Kang, not blinking once in the process.
He pulled out a dollar bill from his pockets. “Just save the change for later.”
“Then pay the fee for making me save it.”
“You sure are funny sometimes. Come on, just spend it the next time you get coffee.”
“Thank you.” Yiyoung let out a short laugh.
“What? Did something happen?” Yiyoung asked, “If you’re going to ask me to cover your overnight shift again, it’s a no.”
“No, it’s nothing like that,” Dr. Kang trailed off, “I’m not sure how to say this…”
Yiyoung counted the coffee cans she needed to get for the nurses. “Do you have something to say?”
“Yes. I think it’s better for you to hear it from me before Professor Jung tells you… but I’m nervous about how you’ll take the news.”
Yiyoung faced him. “Then tell me now. You never know when we’ll have time to talk again.”
Dr. Kang sighed, the hesitation on his face making it seem like the news was something that would be incredibly difficult for her to deal with. “About the seminar that happened recently, I know people were talking behind my back and claiming that I could only lead the seminar because of my connections.”
Yiyoung remembered that day. The day Muyeol and Yiyoung had reunited, there was a seminar going on in the hospital. But she silently continued to listen to him.
“So… Professor Jung asked me to help him write his thesis.”
The moment Dr. Kang delivered the news, Yiyoung realized what this was all about. He was trying to imply that he had successfully joined hands with the professor, and was rubbing his success in the competition in her face.
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