Chapter 73: 73

She couldn’t take her eyes off him. Dark black hair with cool blue-violet eyes.

The country’s sun…

The man who became her sun.

The man who appeared in front of her wearing a black suit grabbed Yuria’s heart and shook it.

Just like that day.

‘Will he remember me?’

Yuria was curious about that. He probably wouldn’t remember.

How could such a high-ranking person remember a woman who thought of her own life as nothing but a bug’s and tried to die?

He didn’t need to remember.

It was just that Yuria was so happy that she had finally met him – she was overwhelmed.

The crown prince willingly did his first dance with a young lady who lived in her room for a long time and came out to do her debutante without a partner.

Just holding his hand made her dizzy.

Their dance together… Seriously, she was so ecstatic that it didn’t feel real.

‘It’s so good to be alive.’

That was what Yuria thought. It was for this moment, surviving without dying.

Everything was dreamy and moving.

Beautiful melodies surrounded them and the sound of people applauding.

And that person with a masculine body scent and cold, beautiful eyes.

Like a beautiful dream that disappeared when she closed and opened her eyes, it was a sad yet exciting and good time.

Finally the first dance was over.

Yuria spit out the words that she had been pondering on throughout the dance.

She was so nervous that her heart felt like it was going to explode.

“…I was holding on.”

As he said, she survived all this time.

She was living like that, desperately holding on to that old and dreadful life, enduring misfortune.

“……”

Rixus looked down at her with those indifferent blue-violet eyes.

He then said,

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The smile that flashed across Rixus’ lips as he turned around… 

That smile captured Yuria’s heart alive.

From then on, Rixus became like a compass in her life, which had never been oriented.

She was unaware of his smile and warmth, but sometimes it seemed that she could never turn back again.

At first, she didn’t even dare to want to be his woman.

People in social circles thought she loved Rixius, but her admiration was far greater than that feeling.

If only he, who had endured day by day with the same misfortunes as herself, could shine high as the sun of the empire.

As long as she could see him happy, that would be enough.

‘If he is happy.’

She seemed to be able to suffice with that.

So… 

“This is not a marriage!”

Yuria shouted hysterically and tore up Deborah’s letter.

Now he was sacrificing his life to marry a terrible woman to prevent war.

Could there be a worse hand than this?

She, who only wished for her god to shine high… 

The feeling of watching him walk into despair, step by step, was terrifying.

“Nanny…”

“My lady…”

Yuria collapsed on the spot.

“…My heart hurts so much. I feel like I’m being ripped to pieces.”

Tears welled up in the corners of the nanny’s eyes.

The nanny knelt down on her knees and hugged the little girl’s body.

“My poor lady, my poor little girl…”

“…….”

“How can you love someone like that?”

Yuria lifted her head and cried as she laughed.

“Nanny, this is not love.”

If she had only loved him as a man, she would have changed her mind already.

She wouldn’t have continued to love someone so cold-hearted.

Because love was bound to change, and its essence was very shallow.

“I’d rather this be love…”

Was this love or yearning, or was it the obsession of a bird that clung to the first thing it saw the moment it came out of its eggshell?

She didn’t even know herself.

Rixus told her the splendor of sunlight, the fragrance of the spring breeze, the joy of eating food, and the beauty of a little child’s smile.

He was the first to tell her.

He was the one who taught her how to live.

It wasn’t just her life that he saved that day.

She had been locked in her room all her life waiting for her death…… It was her life itself.(TL/N: as in, ‘living’ or ‘will to live’, not just life like health.)

“I want to pay back at least half of what he gave me.”

All of that was so precious, and Yuria was so thankful; she couldn’t just let him go unhappy.

“My lady…”

Yuria looked out of the window with translucent eyes.

Before she knew it, a red and blue sunset was embroidering the sky.

Looking at the blazing sunset that was like the eyes of Rixus… Yuria suddenly remembered a certain voice.

“Lady…”

“……”

“How far can you go for the Crown Prince?”

It was Deborah’s voice.

She had asked, as if she was trying to test her mind.

“Can you kill the Queen?”

Yuria quietly closed her eyes and opened them.

“Nanny.”

“…Yes, my lady.”

“Tell Madam Deborah that I want to meet her.”

The nanny’s eyes shook.

She was the one who didn’t interfere in her meeting with Deborah, in the hopes that Deborah would be a companion to Yuria, who had not had any friends until now.

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But she thought it was time to tell Yuria the truth.

“My lady, my lady. Listen carefully.”

“……”

“Don’t trust Madam Deborah too much. She’s taking advantage of you.”

But then she got a very unexpected answer.

“I know, nanny.”

“!”

In fact, Yuria knew. How Deborah treated her.

Yuria looked at her nanny expressionlessly.

“I’m not an idiot.”

The sun shining through the window made her tearful face red.

……Even if she already knew, what could change in this situation where she was hanging on a cliff?

Her dry lips budded hopelessly.

“But now…”

“……”

“I can’t stop anymore.”

* * *

In order to get married in a month, there was a lot of paperwork to be processed.

I was doing huge amounts of work without ever leaving the office.

In particular, today, we started the work of transplanting ‘Spinel’s medical system’ to Aktoum.

On the day of the high priest’s visit, the benefits of this policy were explained in terms of tax revenue expansion to meet the needs of the nobles.

But in actual fact, it was a policy to save even one more life.

The sooner the better.

“Seryl is going to die while working…”

“It hasn’t even started yet.”

“Nonsense.”

Seryl looked at Laura and Maribel with tearful eyes.

The three chicks were also suffering because of me.

We also ate in the office this morning.

“You guys get some rest.”

As I said that while casually turning over the papers, I could feel the three of them looking at each other.

Their faces were probably expressing ‘Huh, we’re getting off work while our boss is overworking alone.’

It stung a little, so I put down the papers and started chatting.

“…But, where are Rixus and I going today? I still haven’t heard about it.”

Not surprisingly, Seryl’s face brightened.

“Ah, it’s supposed to be kept a secret, Your Majesty!”

“Maybe it’s the flower of marriage.”

At Laura’s explanation, Maribel, who was diligently flipping through papers while wearing glasses in a corner, laughed like a sly chick.

“Fufufu… Today is a day to customize the groom to the bride’s will, Your Majesty.”

‘…Customize? I’m customizing Rixus?’

In the past, when I played RPG games, I was the kind of person who would spend a whole day on character customization to create a handsome man, then delete the game with satisfaction.

Maribel’s hint was bound to lure me in.

But I couldn’t even guess what I was going to do today.

“It’s a common tradition, but it’s usually done by women.”

Laura gave me some more hints.

“But in Aktoum, only men do it.”

“…Hmm.”

I shrugged and looked at them with curious eyes.

‘What the hell is it? I’m looking forward to it.’

Anyway, I was kind of excited that I could change Rixus at will.

‘It’s gonna be fun.’

I worked tirelessly yesterday and today and didn’t have any fun, but it was clear things would be fun later in the afternoon.

Once my attention was focused on that, I couldn’t concentrate well on my work.

In the corner of the document, I wrote ‘Rixus. If it’s a custom. Handsome as much as possible.’, then shook my head.

‘Calm down, focus!’

‘If you don’t want to sleep on top of papers on the first night of your wedding, it’s time to work hard.’

I sped up the paperwork.

What I was dealing with now was an important one, so I engraved it on parchment, not paper. Then I rolled it up, tied it with a string, sealed and handed it to Seryl.

“Give this to Duke Orléans of Spinel. Send it tomorrow.”(TL/N: In case y’all forgot since it’s been months since we last heard of him, this elderly gentleman is her advisor.)

“Yes! Your Majesty!”

Finally, my subjects in Spinel would soon be ready to cross over to Aktoum.

They were subjects who couldn’t even make eye contact with me because they were afraid, but I missed them and was longing to meet them.

Tok, tok—

Then, a servant carefully knocked on the door.

“Your Majesty, there is someone requesting an audience, should I send him back?”

The sound coming from outside the door made a sharp impression on me.

“Even if she is very busy.”

“I’m sorry to ask you again and again.”

Who the hell chased the servant all the way to the front of my office and asked for an audience?

Also, repeatedly.

It couldn’t be Rixus this time.

So I freely uttered,

“You dare to disturb me…”

“…….”

“If it’s not important, I’ll cut your neck.”

I didn’t intend to actually cut the person’s neck in this place, but I guess it was so frightening that it was quiet outside.

Then after a while.

“…He says it’s important.”

I laid down the papers I was reading roughly.

The corners of my lips rose as if smirking.

“Yes? Then come in.”

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‘Let’s see what it’s about, and who he is.’

Chaak—

At last the door opened and an unexpected person entered.

I couldn’t help but be surprised.

“!?”

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