Chapter 16: 16

“You still insist on talking like that?”

“What?”

“Get out.”

He was approaching, and although the surroundings were not very bright, I could tell that his expression was dark. The canopy’s veil was lifted, revealing his face. He was making the expression I expected, but somehow he seemed to be angry.

It was bright outside and it was dazzling. When I looked closely, I saw a line of women in the same clothes as when I first entered through the dog hole. My eyes stinged at the sudden bright light, but I couldn’t take my eyes off the women. Because they were victims because of me.

Soon, in the distance, wearing a black clergy suit, I saw Phileal moving. I made eye contact with him, as Phileal was waving his hand with his habitual smile.

“Why did you let me sleep here?”

“…….”

Kylian stared at him without answering. He came near the bed and grabbed my arm and pulled me down, and I was dragged down due to the quality of the sheets. It was so soft that I wondered why I did not fall off while sleeping.

Come to think of it, even after getting married, he insisted on such soft sheets. Like someone who wanted to push someone out of bed.

“Did you let me sleep here because of my energy?”

“…….”

Perhaps because of my physical fatigue, the ominous thought that he might have brought those women because of my energy, burst out without me thinking it through.

“Did you possibly transfer the energy of those people to me while I was sleeping? Why?”

“…….”

It was the first time in my life that he had seen such a cold expression of his. However, when we were living as a couple, this was not the case. He hated me, but he had never been so cold-hearted. He didn’t even keep silent. He was usually ready to answer even when it was difficult, and although he hated playing strange pranks, he never ignored me.

He was cool, but not to the point where he wouldn’t even respond.

For that reason, sadness suddenly erupted.

“Do you hate Miss Anais?”

“Do you want to die without Lewarren?”

“Hahaha. Now you’re answering.”

He was still scary to stare at, but the bright golden eyes weren’t as scary as I knew it.

There was a strange longing and relief.

No matter how much they hate me, there are still people in the world who remember me.

Maybe I wanted Kylian to remember me even if I died. I already knew the conclusion of this life anyway, and if that was the case, I wanted to help his life that was like a light to me and leave.

Because I thought that if I were to erase that debt and leave, he might remember me sometimes. Quite bizarrely.

“Your Majesty. We were pretty close, weren’t we? We met each time over Lady Anais.”

“What happened to your hair? Where did that nonsense come from?”

“Nonsense?”

“You were afraid to save Anais until she woke up, but I can’t.”

Along with his voice, I saw a familiar sword in his hand. That sword was also given to me. When Duke Percival did not trust him, I ordered it with my sword and gave it to Killian.

Although it must have been quite old, it looked sturdy enough, and the blade was well sharpened. Preservation magic was on it. But it’s something that had to be maintained again after a certain period of time.

It was obvious that he had it because he was comfortable with it. Because he had a habit of not throwing away what he had used for a long time. Like an old wife.

“Am I wrong?”

“Are you really crazy?”

“Your Majesty is the crazy one. Aren’t you the one trying to revive the dead?”

“Shut up.”

“Let the dead go. Why do you hate her so much?”

“What?”

My weakness was that even when I thought with my head it was cool, it turned into an emotional one when it came out of my mouth. Just like now. Even though I said nothing, my voice was trembling, and I was crying as emotionally as an idiot.

My eyes were hot as if on fire, but I was flustered because I was crying.

“That’s right! Aren’t you trying to bring her back to life and kill her again?”

“What?”

“What did Anais do so wrong? She saved Your Majesty so that everything goes well! Your Majesty has always been like that. You only know yourself. Anais, hiic! Y-You don’t even know how, how hard it was, for, for the sake of Your Majesty!”

I’m screwed. I was starting to get out of breath. How pathetic would this look? okay. If I had died sooner and went to the underworld, I felt like I should apologize properly to Lilith. I did my best. But it was not possible because I actually borrowed it in front of the person. Lilith is also human and will die someday, so I have to wait until we can meet again.

The good hearted Lilith will understand me. Above all else, she was a kind person like an angel to me. And Lilith was more likely to feel sorry for me when she listened to me. Because she was such a generous person.

I sacrificed myself for Kylian and he would bring me back to life and kill me again.

“Ha.”

The sword pointed at the side of my neck vibrates slightly. Kylian’s expression changed, but it wasn’t the cold expression he had before. He also looked a bit confused, so I looked away and avoided his gaze.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Ugh…”

“Abominable.”

My flesh trembled at the cold feeling I felt on my neck. I looked into the heartless golden eyes and watched as he sighed and drew his sword back. From afar, Phileal looked as if he was at loss, and he hesitated and approached, and in the current situation, I was so grateful for that tactless white snake.

“You just need to restore Anais.”

Even though he said so, his voice had changed a little. Previously, it was a bitter winter like frost, but now it was like the recurrence of sudden frost even as it was already spring.

“Your Majesty.”

“…….”

“If Miss Anais comes back to life.”

“…….”

“Are you going to stop doing this?”

“… yes.”

Yes. If you kill me again, that arrogant pride will be restored.

 

 

* * *

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So, in the end, I decided to recover my original body steadily. What Lewarren wanted was for Kylian to come to his senses.

Even if I come back to life, it wouldn’t matter because I was going to die again at his hands anyway—zombie or whatever. How many times had I died anyway? Let’s not worry too much about dying one more time.

I liked Kylian as my bias, but to Kylian, Anais was just an annoying and heinous villainess. I don’t have to regret the parts that I can’t help.

“What are you doing?”

“What are you doing? Focus on recovering.”

Killian seemed more relaxed than expected. I came during the breakfast meeting on purpose, but he was on guard next to my original body.

Good. If you don’t like me that much, I’ll completely ignore you.

“Phileal.”

“What?”

“Come on. You have to help.”

“Yes.”

He seemed to be uncomfortable with Kylian. He spoke with me like a snake, but tried not to come near me if Kylian was there.

“Your Majesty. Isn’t this the time for the breakfast meeting?”

“…….”

“Then, it would be better for Your Majesty to go there.”

“Did you figure out my schedule again?”

“No? It’s common sense. And for an emperor who doesn’t attend meetings that start early. The country is doing really well.”

“It would be none of your business.”

“I am speaking as a citizen of our Empire.”

I beckoned him to put Anais down. Then, like a vigilant cat, he stands up and stares at me. I was afraid of his stare, so I avoided his gaze unknowingly.

“How can I trust you and leave Anais behind?”

“What do you think I will do?”

“Are you asking because you don’t know that?”

“Will I ask if I know?”

Phileal’s eyes were getting worse and worse. I was doing everything I could do. I was going to die again anyway, so I wanted to spit out what I wanted to say.

“Your Majesty, can’t you sleep alone at night?”

“What?”

“It is for that reason that you sleep while hugging Lady Anais’ body. No?”

“…….”

“Or these days, in my dreams, your mother…”

“…….”

“I spoke out of turn. Sorry. This isn’t right. It was a bit harsh.”

Unbeknownst to me, words that I shouldn’t have said came out of my heart. Kylian once told me that he couldn’t sleep alone. He said so when I first suggested that we use separate rooms back then.

That was something I didn’t know before marriage. I knew he had a habit of sleeping with a large cloth rolled up. However, I found out after marriage that he really couldn’t sleep alone, so he needed something like that.

“…….”

“Sorry. It was harsh.”

The reason he couldn’t sleep alone was that his mother, who had died unfairly, came to him and cried out for revenge.

 

“That can’t be true. If it were me, Kylian, I wouldn’t want you to be in danger because of me. So don’t dream like that. Your mother will be sad if she finds out.”

 

At that time, I comforted him with those well spoken words. Obviously, Kylian wasn’t angry at that time either. On the contrary, we often ate lunch together after that.

“Did Anais say even that to you?”

“Should I answer?”

“…No.”

The silence lengthened. So I glanced at him roughly, and Kylian laid my body on the red velvet cloth in the center of the room.

“About me not being able to sleep alone.”

“What?”

“It’s a lie.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“So, there is no room for you.”

What’s he talking about? Killian mumbled something completely incomprehensible, then turned his back and walked away. I was staring at the closed door for a long time after he left, and somehow I felt strange.

Then why did he lie about not being able to sleep alone? No, and obviously, how many times did I see him sleep with a rolled cloth?

Is it a lie? Now that our relationship has gone apart, it was clear that he wanted to pick on things.

For some reason, I started feeling apologetic because I felt like I had a lot of things to apologize to Lilith.

“Huu….”

Phileal looked at me again and our eyes met as I sighed. He made a strange noise, probably startled by the eye contact.

“Huh?”

“Come on Phileal.”

“Huh…”

Embarrassed, I moved my hand full of divine power. The problem is that Phileal moved so slowly for some reason.

“By the way, Lilith.”

“What.”

“Why is your hair blue? As far as I know, if it’s this bright blue, you should be dead. You’re alive, right?”

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