Chapter 36: 36

“That’s absurd.”

“Really. He drinks tea at the same time every day.”

“…How do I know that?”

Then Phileal lowered his eyes and bit his lip. The person who is having the most trouble right now is me, but he seemed to be struggling just as well.

“The High Priest said it was possible because you were Lilith.”

“Will I be crazy enough to bring back the person I tried to kill?”

“It can be a kind of acting.”

 

“…….”

“And since the only person who saw you put the poison in was the High Priest, if you claim your innocence, His Majesty… will be swayed.”

“Haa.”

It was absurd, so I could only laugh out loud. Why on earth would I kill the High Priest of Death?

“What do you think?”

Then he started looking at me.

“I…”

“…….”

“I have to trust the High Priest.”

He was fooling himself. I know this look. It’s a form of cognitive dissonance when people have been denied the facts they knew often.

“I think of the High Priest as my family.”

“…….”

“So if I don’t believe in him, who will?”

“Everyone already believes in the High Priest of Death, Phileal.”

“…….”

“But you’re the only one who knows that I have neither the time nor the reason to poison the High Priest.”

The cold words jumped out. It would be foolish to convince him of this situation. He already knew what he said was wrong. He himself couldn’t believe it and was showing it with his face like this. He must have already noticed that the High Priest was trying to frame me. But he wanted to deny that.

It’s useless to say anything to someone who has already been in this state. With time, he’ll realize it himself.

“Nothing more to say, Anais?”

“Do you truly believe that I’m Anais?”

“…….”

He closed his mouth again and looked at me with watery eyes. I don’t know how much he depended on the High Priest. However, since he said he had known the High Priest since he was a child, the trust between the two would not be light.

What can I say when we had such a relationship that I only saved his life once, and I’ve known him for only less than a month.

I tried, but he gave me no answer. Patience is required to lead him in the desired direction, but it was unknown whether this body could endure it until the time I needed.

“What about Lewarren?”

“His Majesty took High Priest Lewarren Iphigenia.”

“Is Lewaren in good shape?”

“Yes.”

“That’s a relief.”

If Lewarren is out there, he will do his best for me. So I can’t be too impatient and should do my best.

I’m not giving up on you, Kylian.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Kylian returned to the bedroom of the emperor’s palace to pick out riding clothes with the awakened Anais. When he returned, tailors and servants were already waiting with clothes lined up in rows.

“By the way, is there anything I can wear now?”

“Yes. Every time I have my clothes made, I’ve ordered the tailors to make a matching pair for you, Wife.”

“Oh my goodness.”

Kylian had no doubt in his mind that Anais would wake up, so whenever he had his clothes made in the imperial palace, he had Anais’s clothes made as well. It was not difficult to take measurements and make her clothes, since her unconscious body had been with him.

“By the way, what should I do with my hair color like this? I think it was tailored to platinum blonde hair.”

“You are beautiful no matter what you wear, my Wife.”

Kylian spoke affectionately and took Anais’ hand. But Anais immediately let go of his hand and laughed.

He did not call her empress even though she was the empress. It is because of the memory before Anais’ death that he deliberately calls Anais wife.

For Anais’ soul to recognize and hold on to her body, he must keep reminding her of her name and familiar things.

“And Kylian too.”

Suddenly, the words from Anais reminded him of an old conversation he had with her.

 

“I hate my eyes. It’s disgusting.”

“Your eyes are really pretty. It’s not yellow, it’s gold. Gold that’s as dazzling as the sun.”

“But my eyes resemble the eyes of His Majesty.”

“It doesn’t look alike. Your eyes are prettier.”

 

Kylian didn’t like the fact that he took after the color of the emperor’s eyes. There were some cases in which the imperial family had a golden color in their external features. Even when he proved that he was of the former emperor’s blood, he was judged by the color of his eyes.

That former emperor left his mother to die and didn’t hesitate to do dirty things to satisfy his greed. To Kylian, he was a father, but he was also a disgraceful man. Besides, the former emperor was not interested in whether Kylian lived or died.

“I like your eyes better. It’s like the sky.”

“Is that so?”

Anais smiled happily. But for a moment, he felt a sense of incongruity from the cold look that briefly flashed through her expression.

“Honey?”

“Oh, sorry.”

Unconsciously, he grabbed her hand and pulled her. Anais paused as her hand was caught as she was headed for the clothes on the hanger.

Then Anais slowly released his hand again. Then she closed her unsmiling eyes and smiled, raising the corners of his lips, then approached the maids and handmaids who hid their expressions.

“By the way, the clothes are already made, so why is there a seamstress here?”

“Because you’ve been in bed for a long time, there might be a need to adjust your clothes.”

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“Ah.”

Kylian was looking at the hand she had let go. It was strange. Even when she was asleep, when he held her hand, his heart pounded and raced.

But as he held Anais’ hand now, who’s currently alive and well, he somehow wasn’t feeling the same. Her eyes, which he often dreamed of looking at him, looked the same, but this was his reaction to her. Where did his confidence disappear?

 

No, that didn’t change anything.

“I like this.”

“I will wear the same.”

“That’s good.”

What Anais chose after a rough look was a riding suit with a good combination of black and white. The top is short and comfortable, but the epaulets on the shoulders are gorgeous.

“I told them to prepare a sword.”

“I don’t think I need a sword.”

 

“Kylian is also a warrior. I know what it’s like to feel insecure without a sword.”

 

That was what Anais said as she gave her the sword. He hoped that Anais, who had lost her memory, would quickly regain her original memories.

“Wife.”

“Yes?”

“DId you read the diary I gave you?”

“Ah yes. But I’m reading slowly because I don’t have enough energy.”

“I see.”

He could not forcefully take the rest of the diaries. Obviously, it was Lilith who tricked him and twisted everything into a trap. Because of this, he planned to catch Lilith and draw all her divine power to kill her. But somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to be cruel despite Lilith’s actions. Maybe it was because of the actions that reminded him of Anais from before.

While he was lost in thought, Anais called him.

“Honey.”

“Ah yes.”

“You’d look good with this cravat on you.”

“Yes.”

What Anais handed over was a white cravat. He took her hand carefully and smiled.

“You once gave me a cravat as a gift, Wife.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes. I still have it… I will show you tonight.”

“Great.”

Anais looked at him and smiled as she put her hands together in prayer. Whenever Kylian looked at it, Anais’ smile was awkward. Because she hadn’t smiled like this before in her life. Like something. Like someone else went in.

 

“What would you do if the present Anais was a fake?”

 

Lilih’s expression who looked at him and spoke so, was just like Anais from while she was alive. An expression full of confidence and acting as if she would not back down. And even the confident tone and voice. It sounded the same even though it was clearly a different voice.

“…esty, Your Majesty!”

“Ah, Wife.”

“What were you thinking?”

“Thinking about how beautiful you are.”

“Oh, you.”

Anais smiled gracefully and looked at Kylian. He decided to set aside that thought, even if the smile was somehow awkward. It didn’t matter.

Perhaps this was the real Anais—there’s a chance that she was acting like this because she had been habitually suppressing her wants before. She had to learn so many things against her will before, she shouldered so many heavy responsibilities, she took up swordsmanship unwillingly, and she went on to take on the position of Young Duke out of duty.

She may have changed that way because she constantly worked hard to protect him. Then he should love her even if she wasn’t the same now.

No, he already loved her more than his life, but he just needed time. If his beloved was happier now with her memory buried, there’s no need to dig them out just because he was greedy for them.

When he reached that conclusion, he let out an anxious sigh and hugged Anais tightly.

“Honey?”

“Please let me stay like this for a while.”

The employees around them turned around and averted their eyes. He knew this was a behavior that Anais would hate, but somehow he wanted to reach out to her because of his insecurity.

He buried his nose in Anais’s hair and hugged her tightly around the waist. Anais didn’t hug him. He was rather relieved. It seems that at least one of the habits of Anais from when she was alive remains.

“Honey.”

That moment. She patted him on the back and hugged him.

Thud.

For a moment, it felt like his heart stopped. Kylian felt sad for some reason, and for that, he hated himself.

 

 

* * *

 

 

So they went horseback riding. It was raining outside, so they had to use the indoor riding arena.

“I will teach you, Wife.”

“Sure.”

He believed that horseback riding might bring back some of Anais’ memories. What he feared now was Anais saying she didn’t want to find her memories.

He meant to help her find out, if she didn’t say anything. Of course he wanted that more.

“You can put your feet up here and ride.”

“It looks easy. I’ll try.”

“Wouldn’t it be better to show you first?”

“No. I think I can do it.”

After saying that, Anais put her foot on the footrest of the white horse assigned to her and easily climbed onto the saddle.

“It’s easy… ack…!”

“Wife!”

 

As she mounted, she accidentally kicked the horse in the belly, which the horse mistook for a signal to run. So the horse sprang off.

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