Chapter 18: You know, I know

 When I wake, there is a dead deer on the coffee table. How the table hasn't given up the ghost under that weight, I don't know. But the deer is there. I look around, and see Ferenc staring at me. 

"I brought you breakfast," he points at the deer. 

"We need to talk," I say, and feel his annoyance at that. "No, you will listen, if you want to keep me." 

"And who said that I do want to keep you?" He snarls at me, but the main emotion that he feels is confusion. 

"I say so. Because you wouldn't have shared your emotions with me, if you didn't want to keep me," I bite back. This has gone on long enough.

He is disappointed, I can understand that. I am not exactly prince charming. Still, that doesn't mean that I will just sit by, and let him treat me as some stand by for someone else. Someone prettier, slimmer, with a better sense of humor. With other words: someone better. 

"If you don't want me, that is fine," I snap, and feel like I am telling the truth. "I can live with that. But if you are keeping me in here just to play games with me, then I want out! I am a human being, for crying out loud, and deserve respect." 

He blinks at me, and then his shame is clear on his face. I don't need the connection to see it. 

"I am not playing games with you," he tells me, and I glare even harder at him. 

"Then, what are you doing? You want to have sex with me, but only if I close my eyes, and keep my mouth shut? Do you want to close your eyes as well, and imagine that Aliz is under you?" I yell, and realize that I am jealous of someone who ran away from their own country, just to avoid being with Ferenc.

"I..." he begins, but then clams his mouth shut. We stare at one another. Then, he sighs. "You can leave if you want to." 

I blink at him. Just like that? After everything he did, he wants to get rid of me? I feel anger well up in me. With sure steps, I go to him, and straddle him. I can sense his confusion through the bond, and grasp the moment. 

"No," I say simply, and he blinks at me. "Because you and I will share eternity. I have decided it. It is my choice, and I don't care if you don't want me. I am the only one you will get. Because, ever since I first saw you, you were mine." 

"Was I?" He whispers, and his arms wrap around me. I nod. 

"Yes," I say, and then bring our faces closer together. "Now, tell me why your eyes were red, back then." 

"That is what happens when vampires are about to have sex," he says against my lips. I shiver at the sensation. I welcome it, and want more. So, I arch an eyebrow, and urge him to keep talking. "You would have gotten red eyes, instead of your dark blue ones. I didn't want to see you with red eyes. I just wanted to lie to myself that you are human." 

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I blink at that. 

"And why is that? Would you have liked me better, if I still had a heartbeat?" I ask him, and he just shrugs. He doesn't offer me anything else, in way of explanation. I let him keep his silence for a while, and then kiss him. For a moment, I feel like he is not going to open his mouth, but he does. 

I can taste blood on his tongue. He must have fed, before I woke. I welcome the taste, and the one under it. The one that is all him. I moan into the kiss, but don't close my eyes. Our eyes are locked in a staring match, and I challenge him to close his first. He doesn't cave in either. Instead, he lifts me off his lap, and carries me over to the couch. 

I suck in a breath, when he gets my shirt over my head. The good thing about not having to breathe, is that you can suck face with another vampire for as long as you want.

 I don't even get winded. He begins to grind his groin against mine, and I moan again. Just because I don't want to just stay there, and do nothing, I begin to grind back. 

My hands go to the fly of his jeans, and I try to pull it down. His hands grab mine, and hold them over my head. He makes it so that the kiss deepens, and doesn't stop moving. I wrap my legs around him, and bite his lower lip. The kiss is finally broken, but he doesn't stop moving. 

"Tell me, how good was your escort?" He asks me, and I blink. Stopping my own grinding against him. He begins to move slower, more sensually. I suck in a breath at the change of pace. 

"Very good. Not that I have any reference material," I say, and he chuckles. 

"And what did he do?" He asks me, and I blush. 

"Well, he blew me," I admit, and he begins to giggle. The sound is like a balm to my ears. 

"Did he have his eyes closed the entire time?" Oh, Ferenc, you dick. I begin to struggle against his hold, but he just crashes our lips together for another kiss. When we break apart, he licks my lips. "It is ok. When I finally take you, I won't have my eyes closed." 

I feel like I could hit him over the head with a shovel a couple of times. 

"When I take you, I will make sure you are so tied up, you can't move. But your mouth? That I will gag because I can't stand it," I yell, and he smirks at me. 

"That would be your loss," and he resumes his grinding, while I resume my hate speech, until we both come in our pants, and are reduced to a giggling fit. 

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