Chapter 3: Chapter 3: Thank God for city folk

Chapter 3: Thank God for city folk

 Algiers is great. Yes, it has its ghetto, but otherwise it has typical buildings you would find in any big city. Most importantly, the people in here are not trying to set me on fire. Yes, there is the occasional side away glance, but apart from that, the people here are nice and understanding. 

I hope they stone you- killyourself89.

My fair lady, I hope you are saying it in the sense, of getting laid? Then I hope they stone me too. Not in the sense that a crowd will ransack the sidewalks for stones, which they will then hurl at me. Anyway, the beauty of being in a capital city is that, there are plenty of shifty characters around here. 

It didn't take me long, before I found a grumpy old man, who made me all the new papers I need to get out of the country, in exchange for ten Euro. Yes, you read that right. Ten euro, and you get a top-notch service. Algeria comes with many perks, you know? Anyway, I still have plenty of money for the way back to Germany. 

Now, you might ask yourself, where is he going to go? To Berlin? One thing I figured out is, that no self-respecting aristocratic vampire will get stuck in a city. No, a nice villa and blood in crystal glasses, that cost more than the knockoffs I used to sell, is the life they will lead. 

You are so deluded. Do you think that the sun rises out of vampire asses? - killyourself89

My dear lady, I think you should go into anger management. I had a friend, from high school. A real delinquent. He went to the meetings, got the pills, and he is now a lawyer. You should think about the possibility. It will turn your life around. 

Eat your dick! - killyourself89

I shudder at the last one. My hands twitch, and the phone gets pulled out of the charger. I curse, and plug the charger back in again. My blog is what gives my life meaning. I must continue it, and tell people the truth about the vampire world. Or, is it the underworld? No middle-aged Hobgoblin is going to stop me. 

No response came from killyourself89, and I smile. It will take a couple of more hours for my flight to depart. I didn't have any money for a direct flight to Germany, but got one to Bulgaria. I wonder if the villagers there are friendly?

Or, was it Romania the country that staked vampires? At any rate, since the commies departed from the Balkan Peninsula, people there began to learn English, and some even know German. That would make my life easier, seeing as these are the only two languages I know. 

I know French, German, English, Chinese, Dutch, Japanese, Greek, and Russian. You are a loser to know only two languages, haha.- killyourself89. 

Dear killyourself89, just because you completed the first lesson in the Duolingo course, it doesn't mean you know the languages. Write something in Chinese, let see if you are not all talk? 

A scribble appeared in the comment. I put it through Google Translate. The translator indeed recognized it as Chinese. Now, you might wonder what killyourself89 wanted to tell me?

With what pearl of wisdom did she grace my life? The text read: Saggy man teats. Ah, it seems that my dear reader had not forgotten the time when I outed myself as a fat man. 

You are reading story When you are dead, but not at novel35.com

I am not ashamed to be fat. It is not like I overeat. I am one of those people who don't have money for healthy food, and eat cheap junk. That will change, though. Now that I hunt for my food. 

How are rats healthy, you dumbass? 

Who do you think that is? If you guessed that the nickname starts with a k, then you are right. It is indeed killyourself89. I am thinking about banning her, but that will be a show of weakness.

Anyway, I check the clock, and saw that I need to get to the airport, or miss my flight to one of those nations that claim they are the oldest around, but can't prove shit. 

As you may guess, the plane is stuffed to the brim. Now, you might ask who the heck would want to go to the Balkan Peninsula? It is a breeding ground for wars, and the Ukrainian war might spread to there.

Well, the thing is, the universities in Bulgaria have programs for cheap degrees for people from all around the world. Those are paid by the governments of said countries. It is a common practice in the European nations. Just my luck I couldn't benefit from something like that, seeing as I was a German citizen, and thus living in a first world country. 

Yes, I have to admit, that I never went to a university. My parents died a couple of months after I graduated from high school. A drunk driver run them over, so he could avoid running over a poodle. The poodle is still around to bark at cars, and get in the traffic, while my parents are underground, with nice rose bushes on their graves.  

 That's hard, man. No wonder you turned out like this. -killyourself89. 

I check to see if the plane is not crashing to the ground. Killyourself89, saying nice things? Why am I still alive? When is the world going to end?

 I have been on this blog for three years now, and that lady had nothing but insults to throw at me. I see the three dots that say that someone is typing, and wait with bated breath for killyourself89 to finish her thoughts. 

Asshole, what? Can't I call you out on your bullshit? Go back to writing fantasies about running away from the Algerian natives. Those were fun. - killyourself89.

 Those are no fantasies, as it is no fantasy that I am going towards a Balkan country, in search for cheap transport back to Germany, where I will find aristocratic vampires.

 Or, maybe I need to go to the United Kingdom? Surely, if there are any aristocratic vampires in the world, then there must be at least a whole royal family of them!

No response came. I see that all of my readers are offline. That makes me sad. Typing my life away has been the only thing I have been looking forward to, during my short life. I say short, but I am already thirty.

Yes, killyourself89 is probably, if she hasn't lied about her age, a couple of years my senior. No wonder she sounds like she is already in a midlife crisis.  

You can find story with these keywords: When you are dead, but not, Read When you are dead, but not, When you are dead, but not novel, When you are dead, but not book, When you are dead, but not story, When you are dead, but not full, When you are dead, but not Latest Chapter