Chapter 85: CH 85

Gu Feidi’s crying was very controlled. He gritted his teeth and dared not make a sound. The sobs stuck in his throat made Su Yang’s heart break and the rims of his eyes were wet before he even realised it.

He hugged Gu Feidi in return, gently stroking his hair. He was undecided for some time before whispering: “……I’m sorry.”

Gu Feidi’s hand on Su Yang’s shoulder tightened, scrunching up his clothing. He was still snuggled at Su Yang’s neck and didn’t reply.

Su Yang was silent for a moment, then slowly spoke, “I also……didn’t expect it to turn out this way.”

Because he had transmigrated over, he was still estranged from this world in his subconscious mind. He had been psychologically prepared for the Devil Sect’s Young Saint’s death. Although it was totally different from the present situation and although he still wasn’t sure if he would return to reality once he died here, he was incapable of feeling the slightest fear of death from the bottom of his heart.

Instead of fear, he felt a type of frustration that came from seemingly being able to discern fate.

There was some anxiety and trepidation when he considered that he may not be able to continue being with Gu Feidi once he returned to reality in the future. Of course, he would be helpless, in pain, troubled…… sometimes, he would wonder whether or not he would awaken in reality once he left this world. Regardless, it was actually ‘farewell forever’ when it came to Gu Feidi.

This was really too cruel.

But things had already turned out like this and he didn’t know how to change them.

He didn’t even know how to console Gu Feidi. He could only wrap his arms around his body, pat his back lightly and not say anything.

Fortunately, Gu Feidi soon calmed down.

He rolled over and lay on one side. Then he raised his arm to cover his eyes and asked: “I guessed it correctly, didn’t I?” 

After pausing for a moment and seeing Su Yang not answering, he asked again: “So, because you have the Cold Pond Ice Spirit in your body, then if you practice Half Withered Red, you’ll……”

He took a few deep breaths, but was still unable to say the last word in the end.

Su Yang turned over to face Gu Feidi and lay down properly. He gently moved the arm covering his eyes into his hands and interlocked his ten fingers.

He looked at Gu Feidi’s still-red eyes and said softly, “I also didn’t know what will happen, so I didn’t tell you before. Regardless of what the result is, we will still need to go through life……we have no way of stopping time.” 

After a long while, Gu Feidi closed his eyes, sighed and said in a hoarse voice: “If I’d……never met you, perhaps it would’ve been better.”

Su Yang was shocked by these words. His nose started to sting and even his tears were about to fall.

He didn’t expect to hear these words from Gu Feidi and his burdened heart began to ache at once. He couldn’t help asking: “Do you regret it?”

As expected……they were obviously arch-rivals, but they wanted to be together regardless. How could the result be good? 

Gu Feidi was finally willing to turn and face Su Yang.

He opened his mouth and mulled for a long time before saying: “If I’d never met you, I might’ve died in Jade Mirror Pond. But at least, that way……”

He was choked with emotion for a moment and continued: “……At least I wouldn’t have dragged you into these current circumstances.”

As expected, he was reproaching himself.

Su Yang released a sigh and reached out to hold Gu Feidi’s cheek.

Gu Feidi said, “No matter if it’s the Cold Pond Ice Spirit or Half Withered Red……you wouldn’t have encountered them if it wasn’t for my sake.”

“But you didn’t intend for any of it.”

The corners of Su Yang’s mouth curved to reveal a reassuring smile: “You didn’t deliberately plunge into Jade Mirror Pond, nor did you intentionally get infected with the blood Gu……If you insist on saying it like that, the person who infected you with the blood Gu was a spy planted by Eluo Ghost Tent into the Devil Sect. No matter if it’s Eluo Ghost Tent or the Devil Sect’s male pets, they are actually more closely related to me.”

He flattened his mouth: “Perhaps, this is the retribution that I, as the Devil Sect’s Young Saint, ought to be subjected to.”

“But you’re unable to choose your background.” Gu Feidi disagreed. “Back then, it wasn’t you who abducted those youths into the Devil Sect. At least, it wasn’t this soul of yours. Where else have you erred that you have to suffer this?”

Su Yang said to himself: Maybe it’s the fault of the deviated storyline? If the storyline hadn’t deviated, perhaps it wouldn’t have brought about the correlation between him and both the Cold Pond Ice Spirit and Half Withered Red.

But he couldn’t explain it like that and could only ambiguously reply: “Maybe the fault is in wanting to change our fates……”

Gu Feidi seemed to understand the unorganised words.

He trembled and cast his gaze down: “…….Then I should be the one to pay it back. Even if both of us should’ve been enemies, it was also I who first had those improper thoughts and then dragged you down together.”

Su Yang smiled: “It takes two to clap.”

Gu Feidi said nothing.

Su Yang approached, gently kissed his lips and said, “It’s already like this. We’re wasting time here arguing about whose fault it was. We might as well happily live out the rest of our days. Mmm, the blood Gu has been completely eliminated and following that……I can now do the thing that I want to do.”

Initially Gu Feidi didn’t realise what Su Yang was referring to.

His gaze fell on Su Yang’s expression and he saw a thin red layer had risen on his face. His eyelashes quivered, his tongue licked the corner of his lips and his breathing gradually increased……Suddenly, it struck him and he understood what Su Yang meant.

“You……” Gu Feidi couldn’t believe it and hesitated for a moment, “……want to……with me……”

Su Yang chewed his lip and smiled at Gu Feidi.

His fingertips fell on the waistband of Gu Feidi’s pants and gently stroked along the exquisite trim.

He was actually nervous. All in all, before this, he had never paid attention to how two men were going to do that kind of thing. He’d only heard a rough idea from the all-encompassing Internet by accident, but never understood the details of how to go about it.

Based on Gu Feidi’s reaction when both of them were intimate previously, he’d guessed that Gu Feidi longed to…… Therefore, he was also willing to fulfill Gu Feidi’s desire before he left.

Su Yang closed his eyes slightly, his nose touched Gu Feidi’s and he placed another light kiss on his lips.

Gu Feidi pinched Su Yang’s chin and kissed him back.

Things quickly got heated between the two of them. Their breaths intermingled, gazes tangled and their body temperatures melded together……

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But just as Gu Feidi’s hand touched Su Yang’s belt, footsteps sounded from outside the door.

They both exchanged a helpless look, moved a little away from each other in order to regain their composures and calm their minds.

Luo Yu knocked on the door and there was worry in his voice : “Has Su Yang woken up? If he hasn’t, I’m afraid we’ll need to administer acupuncture today to forcibly wake him.”

Su Yang inhaled, released a light cough and said: “……I’m awake.”

Luo Yu’s tone noticeably eased : “It’s good that you’re awake. Today, I’ve changed the prescription and it needs to be taken on an empty stomach before meals. Get up earlier and take the medicine, then eat something. It’s already Mei period*. Don’t starve yourself.”

(*TN : 1 – 3pm)

Su Yang said: “……I’m getting up now.”

Luo Yu left soon after. Su Yang and Gu Feidi threw each other a look. The atmosphere had become rather awkward and they didn’t care to continue with the earlier affair, so they got out of bed together and went to wash up.

Luo Yu quickly returned with the decocted medicine, watched Su Yang finish drinking it and took his pulse before urging again: “Although the blood Gu has been removed from your body, there’s been some damage to your meridians because of it. In the upcoming days, you can’t be exposed to drafts or cold air and don’t overexert yourself……” 

As he spoke, his eyes lingered on Su Yang’s neck for a moment and then pointedly cast a meaningful look at Gu Feidi and stressed: “……you need to practice some abstinence too, lest you injure his vitality.”

Gu Feidi: ……

Su Yang: ……

Luo Yu repeatedly cautioned a few words before leaving the hot spring courtyard.

Soon afterwards, a disciple delivered lunch. Su Yang and Gu Feidi at the meal together, sitting on the couch and playing five-in-a-row chess to pass the time——Su Yang didn’t know how to play it. Gu Feidi taught him a few times but he still couldn’t figure it out, so he simply didn’t bother to learn it.

Having Gu Feidi plainly concede two rounds to him, Su Yang cast aside the chess piece in boredom and said tediously, “It’s pointless.” 

Gu Feidi tidied away the chess pieces and asked, “What do you want to play? How about dancing?”

Su Yang shook his head: “I’m tired, don’t feel like moving……”

Gu Feidi’s fingers paused and he was quiet for a while, “If you’re tired, go sleep for a bit.”

“I don’t want to sleep either.” Su Yang curled his legs on the couch, propped up his cheek on his hand and looked at Gu Feidi, “I’ve been sleeping for long periods recently and I’m not sleepy now. I want to stay with you……”

Gu Feidi stared at Su Yang for a while. He moved the chess table aside, sat beside Su Yang and took him into his arms.

“Alright, I’ll stay with you.” He said in a soft voice.

Su Yang smiled and asked, “Just like this?”

“Ng?” Gu Feidi was puzzled, “What do you want to do?”

Su Yang blinked for a while and revealed a wicked smile, “What we haven’t finished doing earlier…… don’t you want to continue?”

Gu Feidi hesitated for a moment: “Em, we’ll talk about it another time, okay?”

Su Yang: “Why? Weren’t you very enthusiastic earlier?”

Gu Feidi stretched out his hand and stroked Su Yang’s forehead, “I was presumptuous just now. Your body is still weak, therefore we shouldn’t injure your vitality.”

Su Yang was somewhat disappointed and curled his lip.

Gu Feidi laughed in spite of himself: “You……” 

After wavering for a moment, he said, “Why don’t you sit here and I’ll paint your portrait?”

Su Yang was amazed: “You know how to paint?”

Gu Feidi nodded: “My mother taught me some basics, but I haven’t painted in ages and the materials here aren’t complete…… I can’t paint in colours, but I might be able to do a simple line drawing.”

Su Yang raised his eyebrows. He smiled as a classic movie scene came to mind and he asked: “Oh, are you going to draw me with clothes on or without clothes?”

Gu Feidi was taken aback by this outrageous question and Su Yang was the first to burst out laughing.

Gu Feidi realised what Su Yang was asking and opened his mouth, but in the end he said helplessly, “Shixiong——”

“I’m teasing you.” Su Yang laughed, “If I let you draw me without clothes, you might take that drawing and do something bad with it……”

Gu Feidi: ……

Su Yang laughed again. He carried over a few soft cushions from the couch and placed them on the armrest before finding a comfortable posture to recline in. Then he raised his chin at Gu Feidi: “Okay, draw away.”

Gu Feidi moved round the back of the desk next to him, spread out a piece of paper and ground the ink. When he looked up again, he noticed that Su Yang had unwittingly fallen asleep while leaning on the soft cushions.

The tip of the brush was suspended over the paper and it couldn’t help trembling a little.

Gu Feidi raised his head slightly and waited for the dampness in his eyes to subside before putting the brush down. He then stood up, carried Su Yang from the couch to the bed and helped him remove his coat before wrapping him in the quilt.

Gu Feidi returned to the front of the desk and stared at the surface of the pure white paper for a long time. At last, he began to draw an outline on the paper. It was a pair of smiling eyes that seemed to be able to hold the viewer spellbound.

……Shortly after that, a pair of fine, delicate eyebrows that darted to the temples. Then, a delicate nose tip. Below were the lips that he had lightly traced with his fingers and tongue for countless nights……

Su Yang’s cheeks were just perfect and could be completely held in his palms. When Su Yang’s chin was pinched, it was much softer than it looked. Although Su Yang’s hair wasn’t long, it was extremely smooth and touching it felt wonderful……

……From the neck, to the shoulders, to his collar bones and to his obviously slender, elegant hands……

……to the waist, to the legs and to his delicate white toes and jade-like feet……

Finally, he completed the last stroke.

Gu Feidi stared at the figure that suddenly appeared on the paper for a long time. He took a step back, collapsed into the chair, closed his eyes and sighed.

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