After parting from Ye Lin, I walked back to school alone. There were not many people walking around the campus at seven o’clock in the morning, so I picked the usual path towards the dormitory.
There’s a saying that says, Meet the right person at the right time, or the wrong person at the wrong time.
I think I belong to the latter, because at this moment, Xi Xichen was unexpectedly standing in the first floor lobby, waiting for me.
Is France a popular destination now!? Everyone seems to be coming!
“Back?” he asked, his tone calm.
I didn’t want to see this man at all, I didn’t even want to think about him.
He was part of my unbearable memories, and every time I left in a mess, he seemed to be a witness to all my humiliations.
I walked past him with complete indifference.
“Why are you always so stubborn?” he asked.
If I’m stubborn, what do I call you who’s followed me all the way to France?
“You’ve met Ye Lin?” There was a hint of doubt in his low voice.
I looked up a little angrily.
“Yes. I don’t think I need to report my whereabouts while I’m in France to Mr. Xi, do I?” He was putting me under inexplicable pressure. I turned around to go.
“Jian Anjie!” Xi Xichen took my arm, somewhat indignantly but helplessly at the same time. “Why do you just run away every single time?”
Even though I didn’t want to care anymore, his words were still able to get to me. He knew how to make me feel uncomfortable.
I turned around and looked at him, “Xi Xichen, what on earth do you want me to do? People must know how to stop, I no longer disturb you, so please don’t disturb me again!”
I escaped from his hold and scampered to my dorm, not bothering to look back.
What the hell just happened?
When I closed the door of my dormitory room, I exhaled out a long breath.
After a quick swipe of water over my face, I climbed into bed, only to hear Liang Aiwen speak in the dark.
“Do you feel like talking?” She turned on the light before I could answer, turned and sat up, making a lot of noise. “I saw him again in the afternoon.”
I instantly knew who she was referring to.
“I talked to him for a while,” she continued. “His demeanour is so cold. But just looking at his gestures and clothes showed me he must be of good status. He seemed to be wearing some perfume, but I couldn’t tell what brand it was.”
The more she spoke, the more animated she became.
“Since the only Chinese people living in this dormitory are the two of us, I knew that this person must be looking for you, because, you know, you look good. I went up and asked him if he was looking for Anastasia Jian. I told him that you went out early in the morning, and he said it’s okay, then he just sat in the chair downstairs and waited. People must admire you very much.
“But in the evening, when I saw him again, Mrs. Ma Dan was telling him that you left with another boy and he didn’t say anything, so I thought there must be nothing between you. Does he have a company here in France? I heard him call and talk about the matters mentioned in the noon meeting. Anastasia, are you listening? I have told you so much, you should tell me something too you know?”
“I don’t understand him.”
“What’s his name? What’s his career? Do you know?”
“Not sure.”
“Anastasia, you are so boring!” She turned off the lights and turned to go back to sleep.
I lied in bed for half an hour, but was now unable to sleep. Finally giving up, I reached out and turned my bedside lamp to read a book. I also took out my now ripped dictionary from my drawer.
I thought back two years ago when I came here and was learning French. I used to only get five hours of sleep a day and sometimes I would even go to the canteen in a trance, my brain still reciting words.
“Hey, how am I going to sleep if you turn on the desk lamp?”
I looked back at her and saw she was playing with her phone. “I’ll turn it off when you go to sleep.”
“Okay, I’m going to sleep now then.” She threw the phone away and looked at me.
Sighing, I turned off the light. I didn’t really care. After several years of living abroad, I became accustomed to my indifferent feelings towards relationships. If I could learn to ignore relationships with family, I could definitely do it with everyone else.
The next morning, I got up and took my laptop, my painting tools, and a duffle bag with a change of clothes. I then set off for a small town I’d planned to visit after graduation, however, I’d spent the previous night dreaming of a strange but familiar voice telling me things I couldn’t recall now. It made me feel queasy and anxious, so I decided to just go on the trip.
As I sat on the train, I ruffled through the duffle bag looking for something, but instead found an unfamiliar, men’s jacket. I had mistakenly thought it to be my black trench coat when I was hurriedly packing earlier.
The dark material didn’t have a pattern on it but it was from a very good brand and looked to be quite expensive.
A vague memory came back to me, of when I’d called Ye Lin for the first time from France. I had been at a loss, sad, and feeling helpless. It had been raining heavily and I’d stood in front of a shop for an hour until I’d collapsed from exhaustion and fainted. I distinctly remembered someone picking me up and taking me to the hospital.
This person must have had this jacket draped over me and forgotten to take it back.
I was about to stuff it back in the duffle bag, when I noticed something tucked away in the right pocket. Curiously, I dug it out, and found some euros and two credit cards.
Could that person have been a bit careless?
There was also a neatly folded piece of paper. Upon opening it, I found a drawing of the Place de la Châtelet. The drawing depicted a summer afternoon with a fountain, some pigeons, a couple of pedestrians, a café, and a person sitting on a bench
A few rows of words were written at the bottom of the drawing paper.
18 May, cloudy, Place de la Châtelet. She has been sitting there for three hours.
I wish she didn’t know me so I would be able to walk over and sit next to her. At least if it wasn’t me, she wouldn’t walk away.
At the end was a signature in the shape of an E.
The train finally arrived at the city at noon, and I quickly checked into a small hotel before going back out again.
This small town was located on the border of France and Switzerland, and the environment looked pristine and natural.
I walked around aimlessly down streets paved like a slender ribbon under my feet. The houses looked very old, but because it was spring, there were small flowers growing through cracks in their stone walls, creating a colourful and picturesque scene. There were also very few pedestrians on the street so the atmosphere was very quiet.
I wandered all afternoon until I finally felt hungry enough to walk into a small restaurant with vines covering its outer wall.
“Chinese? Japanese?”
A bearded bartender came up to me, speaking in French. The people of France were always too proud to speak in English.
“Chinese.” I answered back in French.
He broke out into a big grin, and asked enthusiastically, “What do you want miss? Do you need a glass of wine? My friend’s winery makes it himself.”
I shook my head.
“Give me a salad, an order of fish, and a glass of water thank you.”
“Okay!” He walked away.
I looked around. There were two people sitting at the bar, drinking and chatting together occasionally. In the seat in front of me was an old lady with white hair, looking down and flipping through the pages in her book. The people here seemed to be taking it easy.
As I was eating my meal, I heard someone sit at the table behind me. The bearded man went to over to greet him, and I heard a man’s voice say in English, “Coffee, thank you.”
I froze.
I did not understand why he followed me so tirelessly.
I had left Paris and come to this small town to specifically avoid him, and yet here he was.
I couldn’t help myself, and whipped my head around to him, addressing him in Chinese, “Xi Xichen, you must have a limit!”
There was a small, round table separating us. He looked at me and frowned, turning his normally gentle appearance gloomy.
“You just quietly left,” he answered softly.
I felt eyes on us, so I put some money on the table and left to wait for him outside on the gravel path. A moment passed before he followed.
“Okay, what are you going to say? Whatever it is, you will go away when you are done.”
He stood in front of me with the light of the sun on his back.
“He has hurt you too, yet you can be calm with him. Why can’t you treat me the same?”
I couldn’t help laughing. I really wanted to admire him.
“He? Ye Lin? Are you comparing yourself to him? Xi Xichen, when did you become so naive?” I sneered, not bothering to hide it`.
But this time, he wasn’t angry at all. Instead he laughed, his expression unreadable. “You don’t even want to think of the possibility that I like you.”
I realized that all interactions with him turned into unpleasant experiences. Does he like to be absurd?
I had no patience to delve further into this meaningless topic. “Xi Xichen, I really don’t want to leave the country and then see you again and again. Stop following me!”
I returned to the small hotel and did not go out again. The sky outside the window gradually darkened. I don’t know when the rain started to patter down and rustle against the big trees outside the hotel. A cold wind blew in through the open window as I sat alone in the bed, lost in my thoughts, until the room became pitch black.