Chapter 15: 15

WHILE YOU’RE IN LOVE

 

I squeezed the voice out of my dry throat.

“Okay. I will.”

Perhaps my small voice was heard, and his words that continued were cut off.

“Wife.”

He called me in a slightly raised voice. I spoke quickly before he said anything else.

“I will do as you say.”

I stuttered a little, but I continued the sentence without stopping until the end.

“I’m sorry. For a while, I wasn’t feeling well. Don’t worry I won’t trouble you any more.”

“You never caused any trouble.”

Instead of sympathizing with the kind words, I apologized repeatedly.

“I’m sorry to have worried you. I’ll do as you say, so go and work. You must be busy.”

He hesitated for a moment then he added murmuringly.

“……I see.”

The movement felt by the door disappeared, and the heavy footsteps faded away.

……He left.

What I wanted to happen came true, but strangely, I felt empty as if there was a hole in my chest.

‘Stop being stupid.’

I wiped the bitter smile that appeared on my lips and got up.

I’m getting out of my bed after a week. A week. Enough time to waste on being stupid and delusional.

I was too full of myself.

“Let’s stop now.”

Let’s not bother others and also not disturb Aslan and Rosalyn because of my unnecessary lingering feelings.

I walked lightly towards the window. My body, which had not moved for a long time, was tired, but it was not a big problem.

My mind was clear and my mood had refreshed too.

Gradually when I opened the curtains. I saw a view from the big window. As usual, the sky above the busy people was clear without a cloud.

“It’s a nice day to leave.”

That’s a relief.

I took my eyes off the sunny sky and organized what I had to do right away.

I thought I would just leave because I was preparing step by step, but I think I will have to put a lot of effort into it.

There is a long way to go. So I had to create a power that I didn’t have.

First, I ate the food that Jenna left behind. It was cold because I left it outside, but it was still delicious.

It was also because the chef was good at cooking, but most of all, it was because everything suited my taste.

Maybe I wasn’t the only one who got used to this mansion over the past three years, but this place also got used to me.

I felt a little better when I thought that the three years I have spent here won’t lose it’s meaning and would not disappear.

Then, funnyly, I felt energized.

After eating, I washed myself in the bathroom.

Bathing alone was a familiar thing. It was only a year or so until the Countess Larestine died that she was bathed by the servants.

I washed thoroughly, dried my hair, and put on my clothes. Plain casual clothes that could be worn alone without needing any assistance.

I also finished my makeup easily. It was not good to see that I lost more weight on my skinny face because I skipped meals, but my complexion was okay thanks to my sleeping well while escaping from reality.

I lightly patted my cheek and smiled. I was worried that it would be awkward to smile because of the muscles that had not moved in the past, but it was no different than usual.

Thank god. I took my eyes off my face with a false smile and left the bedroom.

With every step towards the office, the regrets and hesitation fell away.

As I was organizing my words to say to Aslan, I imagined how he would react.

Will he be surprised, a little embarrassed, or will he react completely bluntly?

Or…… Will he accept it as if he was waiting?

Maybe he wanted me to tell him that I was leaving him first.

He is a kind person, so it must have been difficult for him to say goodbye to me first.

We’re not lovers, but we still have feelings for each other of the three years that we spent together.

He might have been hiding his true feelings all this time because he didn’t want to hurt me.

How hard it must be for him to tell me to leave knowing how much I rely on him…….

It hurts my heart to think of him who would be heartbroken for not being able to approach Rosalyn proudly because of me.

But thanks to that, I was able to make a perfect decision right before I arrived at the office.

Now it’s time to put an end to this nonsensical play.

I closed my stiff eyes tightly. It was dark. My world would probably be this dark after I will lose him.

I was afraid to think about it, but…….

“I’ll finish it.”

The resolution was unshakable.

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I was the one who started this mess, so I must be the one to wrap it up. That’s what I should do.It’s my duty.

It was already bad for an extra to intervene among the main characters.

Substitute

It was the day I turned ten that I remembered my previous life.

There wasn’t any big event that day.

As usual, when I woke up early in the morning, I just remembered my previous life.

I was amazed at myself that I didn’t even know about it until yesterday.

But that was also brief. Remembering my previous life didn’t change anything.

I’ve already lived this life for 10 years, and life here was a little hard and tiring, but not unhappy.

It was thanks to my family who cherished me.

[Lyla, my beloved daughter. How were we blessed with such a pretty girl ?]

Even though I was not from a very wealthy family, they let me attend an expensive girls’ school.

The money my father earned alone was not enough, so most of the money my mother and even my younger brother earned by helping out went into my tuition.

This was because my parents, who admired me as a genius after remembering my previous life, wanted me to be educated in a better environment.

Even if I dissuaded them by saying it was okay, my parents somehow sent me to school, saying that my talent must bloom.

If I felt burdened, they comforted me in this way.

[If you learn now, it will definitely be helpful. Later, when you become a successful person, you can pay us back.]

I, thirsty for learning, nodded my head reluctantly at the words. Of course, I did not forget to be grateful. One day, I would definitely repay my family.

People around me laughed at me and my family for spending so much money on my studies but my family firmly gave me the love that an aristocratic lady deserves.

[Lyla everything will be fine. You will be treated with respect and you will grow old gracefully. You don’t have to live like us.]

[Look how smart your sister is, there’s no way we’ll let you rot in a place like this.]

Memories of my past lives were quite helpful.

I was mature for my age, and I was evaluated as a good and smart kid who didn’t need much work.

My parents were proud that I was clever and thoughtful.

My parents were even more proud of me because I took care of my younger brother in their place.

My younger brother, whom I raised since childhood, followed me well.

An ordinary commoner family who are neither rich nor poor.

A harmonious family full of love, for each other.

I loved such a family. To the point where I didn’t miss my past life.

So I never felt sorry for the memory of my previous life to fade. For me, a previous life was just a tool that made me realize how precious my new life is.

That’s how much hope, dreams, and laughter I had while I was with my family.

Until that day came.

That day, the day my lovely world turned upside down.

I was on my way to home after running an errand for my mother.

(Laughing) hee hee hee!

Even when the carriage suddenly stopped beside me on a narrow road, I was humming along with an envelope full of bread.

It was when a strange woman stood in my way and stopped me.

[Helena! You’re alive, my daughter!]

A middle-aged woman hurriedly got off the carriage that stopped next to me, hugged me and started crying. She called me ‘Helena’.

[Me, Madam? I’m not Helena.]

I was embarrassed and tried my best to pull her off.

However, I, a commoner, could not use my power properly to her, who was clearly a noble.

My feeble attempts were in vain, and I had to be held captive by her.

[Ma’am!]

Then, the man who got off the carriage ran to the woman who was hugging me.

I sighed inwardly. I was relieved to think that I could get away from this strange woman now.

[Madam, Helena is dead!]

As I expected, the man pulled the woman who had been holding me suffocatingly tight.

[Ah, no! No, Helena!]

The woman was caught by the man and fell, but she reached out her hand to cling to me again.

I was scared of the woman who was so obsessed with me.

I carefully backed away and tried to run away.

Unfortunately, this time, however, I was captured by the woman’s husband.

[Helena?]

The man facing me, holding my forearm, widened his eyes as if he had seen an unbelievable sight.

The blood had disappeared from his face and turned blue, as if he had seen a ghost.

I didn’t know until later. To them, I was really like a ghost.

But at that time, I couldn’t possibly know what was going on.

So I felt uncomfortable with the incomprehensible emotions contained in the two pairs of eyes towards me.

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