Chapter 129. His Sincerity Asha felt suffocated. Never before had she felt so unable to communicate with Tamon. Just as Tamon’s attitude was unusual, Asha felt that her impatience was also unusual. She tried her best to remain calm, but it was not easy. The more she talked to Tamon, the more it felt like a hot ball was rolling around in her chest. “It’s not that I won’t take your help. It’s that I’m looking for a solution without your sacrifice.” “My ability is not available in the way it could be used without sacrifice. Oh, or do I have to mix bodies with everyone who gets hurt?” Asha’s expression turned cold at his sarcasm. “I don’t know why you say that.”
“I don’t know why you refuse to accept my offer to help you. Don’t you believe in my abilities?” “The silver deer are very cautious and they won’t follow you anyway. The same goes for the children. I am the only one who can convince them.” “So, now, you’re going to find a way to get into that canyon yourself, is that it? Inside the black canyon with poisonous fog?” “There is the protection chain…….” “You are making a ridiculous assumption.” Tamon cut Asha off, as if he could not allow that to happen. Asha’s face also tensed. She knew it, too. She was too weak of a being to go in the canyon alone, trusting only in the chain. But no matter how strong he was, it was also absurdly dangerous to let Tamon go into that black canyon.
“There must be another way.” Asha said through clenched teeth. She assured him again, and Tamon read it. Their confrontation continued in silence. In the end, it was Tamon who got to retreat first. “……I really don’t know.” After sighing heavily, he swept his hair roughly and turned back. Just then he heard a rustling sound outside. It was a sign that Jorge had finished sorting through the woods and returned. “I’ll be outside for a while.”
Tamon, with a hard look on his face, slipped out of the tent, leaving Asha behind. Asha, who had been standing there, sighed slowly. ‘I had some other words…’ Words that would persuade him to understand. Such words were certainly present in her. The problem was that it was too much for Asha to pull it out from deep within. “Kaaaa….” As if in some kind of a mood of concern, the young deer, who had remained silent, belatedly spoke up in a weak voice. Asha reached out and held the fawn in her embrace, whispering. “Are you nervous because you thought something would happen?”
The silver deer stared at Asha in silence. She bent her knees and whispered quietly, keeping eye contact with the little animal. “Don’t worry. I will save your family, I promise.” In a way that would not injure that man to the maximum extent possible. ‘I’m sure of it.’ * * * * It was noisy outside for a while. There was the sound of a silver antlered deer carcass being put away, followed by a small dialogue about the atmosphere at the entrance to the canyon. Meanwhile, Asrell and the kids busily prepared a meal. At the mention of a herd of silver deer nearby, Jorge and the Knights talked about delaying the itinerary a bit and taking a closer look at the place. Tamon naturally agreed.
In the meantime, Roselyn was lost in thought, hugging the weak young deer. “Method. We need to find a way.” There wasn’t enough time to contemplate it fully, and the restrictions were too many. In the first place, where should they look for silver antlered deer? It would be more problematic if a herd of deer was in that canyon. It was not a simple matter to go into that proposed canyon with a group of Knights with minimal manpower and weapons to save time, without the impossible task of preparing to investigate the canyon. “Even if we knew where the deer herd was……” Asha clutched at her slightly feverish forehead. Worst of all, this fawn in her arms might be the last living member of the herd. “I wish you could talk.”
Asha mumbled frustratedly as she stroked the deer, which had been sleeping in her arms for some time. She said she would surely find a way, but it wasn’t easy. With her eyes closed, she recalled the topographic map she had seen in Tanatos of the black canyon. It was the topographic map she used to look at every time she sent a survey team. “These beasts in there are strange. Perhaps we should call them beasts, but it is ambiguous to call them monsters anyway. They are different……” It was said that prolonged exposure to the black fog caused mild paralysis. The animals in the canyon seemed to be fine, if they had already adapted, but it was dangerous to wander through it for more than a day. The cleanest place inside was by the stream. The target point of the investigation team had always been the stream.
“They say if you go straight up along the canyon, you’ll find a tree with a warped shape…Was it around here?”
Roselyn took out a piece of paper and drew a topographical map as she remembered it. It wasn’t exact, but it was better than nothing, she thought. She thought she would go in with the knights at daybreak, since it would be less dangerous at dawn. “Can you come with us?” She whispered to the young silver horned deer, and its twitching, protruding ears fluttered as if it didn’t like it. Asha smiled and ruffled the beast’s soft fur. Tamon came into the barracks after the sky had completely darkened. He glanced at the topographical map Asha was drawing and silently undressed. Asha also looked at him, folded the paper neatly and put it on one side. It was late at night when more than half of the people had already fallen asleep.
“It’s late, how come you haven’t slept?” Did he calm down a bit? Tamon spoke in his usual voice. But what was this awkwardness? Asha hesitated for a moment, then answered in the same calm voice. “I’m going to sleep now.” “Okay….” Tamon inspected the fire in the fireplace inside the barracks and then lay down beside her. The strange silence that had settled between them until now had not disappeared. The only light in the barracks was the furnace, which was growing warmer.
It was the first time that the two had such a quiet night since they shared a bed together. The awkward silence made Roselyn turn over and over. Tamon, however, seemed to have fallen fast asleep, not moving an inch, as usual. Asha, who had been changing her seat here and there, gently turned herself toward Tamon. Looking at his face lying comfortably in a straight posture, she felt strangely unfair. This was a really strange feeling. Tamon had not said anything harsh, nor had he ignored her or used violence like Gillotti had. Nevertheless, strangely, there was disappointment on one side of her heart. It was a loneliness that she had never felt for Gillotti, who had spoken to her in such a disgusting manner. What was even more appalling was how annoying it was to see Tamon’s handsome face sleeping peacefully.
‘What on earth are these feelings?’ (*it’s love, Asha) ‘I’m not a child and I can’t believe I’m pissed off…….’ With no one watching, Asha quickly turned her body the other way to hide her frazzled mind. Desperate to sleep, she closed her eyes and listened to the sound of the brazier burning. The smell of the ashes wasn’t bad. She fell quietly asleep, concentrating on the smell of the ashes and the sound of the crackling of the fire. She was tired and when she tried to sleep, the sleep came quickly. When she was fully asleep, Tamon, whom she thought was sleeping soundly, opened his eyes. He lay still for a moment, looking at the low ceiling, and then at the back of Asha as she lay on her side. “…… you really don’t behave like my mind for a second.”
Muttering to himself, Tamon carefully hugged Asha in his arms and kissed her pale cheek. Asha told him she did not want him to sacrifice himself. She didn’t want to see his body torn to shreds. ‘But if not that, what else can I do to prove my usefulness to you?’ He chided himself bitterly. Even without Tamon, Asha was a woman who could rise up on her own. So did she really need Tamon to help her get revenge? When this revenge was over, would he really be satisfied with just getting that empty seat? He still wanted to own her completely. He wanted to swallow all of her so much, so sorely…
‘Aranrosia.’ My brilliant sea. It seemed that he gave her a useless name. The sea always flowed and was so vast that it could not be caught or locked up. So it was even more beautiful, and therefore even more brilliant. So it was more sparing, and maybe that was why he wanted more. Tamon looked at Asha’s face for a while as she fell into a deep sleep, not knowing how he felt. The fine breathing relieved him. To hold this breath, Tamon was willing to endure her hatred and anger, even prepared to give away everything he had. So how could this soft breath not be lovely?
‘If you care a little about me, that’s good enough for me. And if my space that occupies a corner of your heart grows larger and larger….. Even if you don’t want love, if I can have you in any other form… Yes, how many times can this body be broken?’ Tamon kissed her eyes gently and slowly got up. When he went outside, the air was chilly and cold. He didn’t know how much time had passed, but the dim dawn light began to shine through the blackened sky. With casual steps, Tamon walked toward the darkness where the forest was.