Why, Can't You Eat?

Chapter 19: 19


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Translator: Yonnee

────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────Chapter 19

“Ahem… We went a little off topic, but that’s the gist of it. And apart from that, the Fenril family’s upbringing was a bit strict, but I barely met my father and mother and they were already around the age of forty, so I grew up relatively free. But after going through a war, they said that it was better to live a normal life than to die honorably, so there’s not much I was worried about.”

“No wonder…”

“What do you mean by that, Reg?”

Sir Ares looked over at Regulus with a bitter expression on his face. Regulus said that he respected and liked Ares while he was with me, but when he was in front of Ares himself, he was grumbling like this.

I watched how they acted around each other and I got used to it to some extent. Then, Regulus spoke rather bluntly, perhaps because it was a conversation about family.

“It must be good for you, Commander Ares. The Fenril estate is connected to the warp gate, so you can go back and see your parents any time.”

“…Thanks to that, there are many days that I’m forced to commute.”

“Don’t complain about something good! My sister and I can’t even go home because it’s too far away.”

“Ah, I haven’t told you yet, Reg? Sooner or later, the warp gate will be connected to Ezra. Well, soon-ish… Even if I say that it’s soon, the connection won’t be established until a year later.”

“R-Really?!”

“It’s been planned for a long time, but it’s being pursued in earnest now. Reg, don’t be late. You’ll have to go to bed early and wake up early.”

Regulus smiled awkwardly when he heard the soft reprimands. It’s true that he often overslept.

I heard that Regulus’ hometown was a small village in Ezra in the eastern region of Ciel. There was no warp gate nearby that place, so in order to go there, you’d have to ride a horse for three whole days and stop by other estates first.

In the beginning, Regulus said he went back every two months at least, but after being promoted to Commander, and because Ares and Damian frequently went out of town to find my ring, Regulus couldn’t go back home even if he wanted to.

That was the case for me, too. The distance I can travel through mirrors was limited. And Evan was even farther than Ezra, so no matter how fast she travelled, the risk was high. So I never went home after becoming a palace maid.

I met my parents for a short while before I became a maid because the knights were passing through nearby while I had momentarily regained my rationality.

After the warp gate would be established near Ezra, both Ares and Damian would no longer have to go on long-term missions this often, so Regulus would have more time for himself as well. I smiled quietly as I watched him smiling. Then, Sir Ares also asked me.

“But is your home far away, too? Where are you from?”

“Oh… The place I call home, well, my parents are at Evan.”

“Evan? Are you from that far away?”

I nodded calmly as Ares said this in surprise. When she told anyone that she was from Evan, they would always respond like this. The reason why the other maids were interested in me the first time we met was because they thought I had a backstory I couldn’t tell, which was why I went all the way here to work.

But I only told my parents to flee to the far away Evan because I didn’t know how large the scope of the war of conquest would be, and Evan was the only place who accepted refugees.

I think they’ve settled down now, but at first, they must have had a very difficult time. No matter how much the reason was because of the war, there was no place that would welcome those who had lost their country and their home. On top of that, I sometimes felt helpless because I couldn’t give them my aid due to my situation.

“Lily said she used to live in Spiruna. Then, her parents fled to Evan because of the war. Right?”

“Yes. I can talk about it if you’d like to hear it, Commander. I don’t mind at all, so please don’t look so apologetic.”

After hearing Regulus say that, Ares’ turned pale little by little, so I quickly added this. I really didn’t feel anything by it. My parents didn’t die in the war, and I didn’t suffer at all except that I was now living apart from my parents.

The biggest problem for me was the loss of my ring, but considering everything that happened, it wasn’t something that anyone should apologize to me for, and I wasn’t particularly attached to my hometown either.

“But…”

“It’s really alright.”

And more than that, I’ve always thought this, but seeing Odil and Ares feeling guilty about this was something I also felt guilty about, that’s why I didn’t want to mention it. When I spoke in a calm voice, Ares nodded, but he still looked apologetic.

“Sister said it’s okay, but are you going to keep acting like that?”

Ares flinched when Regulus rebuked him. However, when Regulus first heard this story, he was also at a loss on what to do.

It was such a strange thing. In fact, it was the Emperor who started this war of conquest, and the Commanders had no choice but to obey those orders. It didn’t even look like they wanted to participate in the war, and now they were feeling guilty towards me.

As the atmosphere dampened a little, Regulus scratched his cheek, then he spoke up in a cheerful voice.

“Anyway, I’ll go home, say hi, eat, then I’ll hang out with my younger siblings!”

“Right, you mentioned you had three younger siblings, right, Regulus?”

“Yes, the twins and the youngest. All three of them are boys, so they’re such troublemakers.”

Ares raised his chin as he answered my question, seeing that I wasn’t that active in this conversation. Regulus smiled and spoke up.

“You know, Ares looks like an only child, or the spoiled youngest son who grew up sheltered.”

“Reg, you really don’t like me, do you?”

“No! I like you!”

Seeing Regulus’ behavior, I kind of get now how he saw the different commanders a little. He respected Sir Odil, Sir Endymion and Sir Ares, but he seemed to be more comfortable with a brother-like relationship with Sir Ares.

“If it’s like that, then Odil also seems like the youngest son even though he’s the second son.”

“But Commander Odil is mature and has a strong sense of responsibility. It feels like he’s holding back all the time. In that sense, isn’t Sister Lily similar to him?”

“Huh?”

“Sister’s alone right now, but you’re close to your parents. But unlike Commander Ares, you’re mature, kind and you lend an ear to others to listen to them. If I had a real older sister, I think it would feel like this.”

Regulus was mistaken that I was mature and kind. If that was true, then I wouldn’t have to solve my problems by pulling other people into it in the first place. I smiled awkwardly and was about to reply, but Ares was staring at me.

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“Is there something wrong?”

“Huh? N-No. It’s nothing.”

At the sudden silence, Ares and Regulus were both perplexed. Suddenly, I looked towards the clock and saw that it was about time to go back, so I got up from my seat.

“I think I have to go now.”

“Oh, it’s already time? I wanted to talk more.”

“We can do that later, Regulus. Then…”

“Okay. Take care, Lady.”

“See you later, Sister!”

No matter how much she thought about it, he suddenly became silent and his reaction was strange, so I glanced at him once but soon returned to the library.

However, I quickly forgot about Ares as I focused on my work.

·

“I apologize for seeking you out again, Lady. I wanted to ask you something, but are you doing alright?”

Today was a rare busy day, so I worked so hard that I couldn’t even remember what happened before. But when I came out after handing in my report, I ran into Ares, who was waiting nearby.

He came here… just to ask me something. I’d rather go somewhere far away and say I didn’t know the answer. I didn’t want to lie, but I didn’t know that I’d have to think of something quickly like this.

To avoid people’s prying eyes, we walked past the park where we talked during my break.

“Please ask ahead.”

I looked at Ares, trying to hide my nervousness. Sir Ares blushed and bowed his head when our eyes met. It seemed like he was more nervous than I was.

“…T-That is, um.”

“Yes.”

Even though he barely opened his lips and trailed off like that, if he was going to be this way, then I tried to urge him on so that he wouldn’t be vague. Then, he closed his eyes as though he had barely made up his mind.

“Why… Why a-aren’t, you coming, anymore?!”

“To be honest, this is already far enough and… what?”

“That, well… Why aren’t, you coming anymore? You still don’t have the ring, right?”

“What?”

Ares’ face turned red. I was in disbelief and I responded foolishly as well, but my mind was blank. Just what was he saying?

“Is… isn’t that right? I’m right. You’re the succubus…”

“……”

“Perhaps, um, if you don’t like me… um, what I’m saying is…”

“It’s not that.”

“Huh?”

“Anyway, no. It’s not that!”

Since when? When did he catch on? Obviously, there was no sign of him catching on before. My lips were trembling. I could barely calm down my voice and I couldn’t speak calmly. I tried to deny it at once, but Ares hesitated and said,

“Lady, you’re not very good at lying. It’s clear on your face.”

“……!”

“Don’t you remember what you said to Reg? You said you were an only child.”

And I suddenly realized why this person was looking at me with such an expression. I said I had a family, but they were in Evan and I had no siblings. There was no choice but for him to think it was strange.

“B-But, well, I…”

“I’m not blaming you! But, it’s just that… What I really want to say is…!”

I couldn’t breathe. I tried to hold myself somehow, but it was suddenly hard to breathe as I was facing an unexpected situation. Somehow, at that moment, all the sounds around me faded into the distance, then my vision grew dark. Light came in for a moment, and the last thing I saw was Ares running towards me with a frantic expression.

❦ ❦ ❦

It’s that dream again.

Sitting blankly in the middle of a flower garden, I still couldn’t move, nor could I speak.

A gloomy feeling engulfed me, but when I looked down, something caught my eye. Again, it was my grandmother’s ring on my left hand. And beneath the sun, the shiny white thread was tied to one finger. But I noticed that there was a red thread, which was previously not there before, now tied to my finger as well.

As if possessed, I pulled on the thread that was so tight that it seemed to be on the verge of snapping. Then, another whisper went into my ear.

“This is the second.”

It was a much clearer woman’s voice than before. ‘Who are you?’ I couldn’t speak out loud, but when I asked the question in my mind, the voice replied.

“You’ll find out soon, child.”

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