Chapter 2: 2

Chapter 2

Although I was suffering from the intense sense of shame that I was feeling, I did such an act every night without fail.

Biting my lips as I touched my damp underwear, however, as time went by, I realized that something seemed to be lacking. I ended up washing my hands to clean them up… then used those hands to touch that place between my thighs directly.

“Mm…”

I could feel the heat blooming from inside of me, but I thought it might be because my body was wriggling under thick blankets. As I hesitantly brought my finger closer, I could feel a sticky fluid flowing down as I thrusted in.

“Ah!”

Shocked by my own reaction, I pulled my hand out. But, I was strangely excited. I licked my dry lips and put the finger back in. It was really strange. What the hell was this? When I slowly pushed my finger in, it seemed to accept it without any resistance.

As I tightened my thighs, my body slowly heated up at the pleasure of filling in an empty place, and I pleasured myself over and over until I was satisfied.

After having accosted myself, I sobbed with an unknown guilt gnawing at me when I came to my senses. I gazed at my wet fingers and thighs and realized I wouldn’t be able to tell my mother about any of this.

That wasn’t the only change. I never thought that I had an ugly face, still, over time, I became more and more beautiful, to the point that anyone who would look at me once would blush instantly.

It was strange to see myself changing. And, as I changed, I couldn’t stand the way people’s attitude towards me changed as well. At that time, I only went out of my room to help my parents in the kitchen.

Years after I transformed into a succubus, I withdrew from everyone and fell into depression. Worried about me becoming more emaciated and gloomy by the day, my mother dug up my grandmother’s grave and found something.

It was a relic that my grandmother, who was a succubus as well, used. It was a ruggedly crafted silver ring with an indecipherable geometric pattern over it.

“…What’s this?”

“A long time ago, I asked your grandmother why she always wore such an ugly ring when she’s such a beauty. Then, your grandmother said that this was something she needed to live as a normal human being. I didn’t know what she meant at that time, though I realized that this is what you need, too… Lily, you’re not doing anything bad. You know what I mean, right?”

My mother knew what I was going through even when I didn’t tell her. She knew what I was doing every night, but she didn’t say anything because she was afraid that I would get hurt.

Instead, she dug up my grandmother’s grave of her own volition even when she was being condemned by the people around her.

The ring that my mother gave me was the only thing that suppressed my instincts as a succubus.

After wearing the ring, I could finally escape the irresistible urge to pleasure myself every night. Though I had no idea why, I also stopped menstruating.

It had been peaceful for years.

Until the war broke out.

Ciel, which had only been a kingdom a few years ago, was now hailed as a powerful Empire. The current Emperor ascended to the throne and declared a war of conquest, instantly shattering the continent’s precarious peace.

The Emperor was a formidable schemer, and he had strong knights and aides who could carry out his orders without any faults. The kingdom I was born and raised in also collapsed under his conquest.

I still remember that day.

Before even the dawn’s dew dried up, what woke me up that day was the bell that announced the invasion rang wildly and exploded like thunder. My mother and I didn’t even have enough clothes to cover ourselves modestly, while my father had immediately prepared the wagons.

The sound of horses’ hooves, the sound of blades, the sound of people’s dying screams, and the pervading acrid smoke that covered the sky—it all felt like a passing dream.

Because my family lived near the northern gate, we managed to evacuate before the gates were sealed. However, I realized that, over the confusion, I had lost my grandmother’s ring.

I went back to the castle alone to find it, rebelling against my parents’ deterrence. Yet when I arrived at the castle and found the ring in the nick of time, I saw a knight in blue armor picking it up and leaving with it.

I had chased that knight for a long time, waiting for him to be alone, but that was my biggest mistake.

The instinct that the ring had been suppressing had bided its time well. As I lost my sense of reason, I collapsed to the ground and gasped for breath without even the time to hide myself.

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Then, Sir Odil ran up to me with worry in his eyes. Already half out of my mind, I involuntarily devoured his lips and threw myself on him. I kept muttering that I needed my ring back.

So, in the commotion, the blue-clad knight who picked up my ring appeared, and I attacked him.

Sir Odil blocked me and urgently asked the knight to return the ring, but with tears in his eyes, the knight said that the ring was gone.

I went on a rampage and let loose like a madman. Sir Odil said he’d take responsibility for it, and I agreed, nonetheless, at that point, my instincts had already taken over, so I had forced him to sign a contract. Although even if I say it’s a contract, it was really just a promise, yet he faithfully abided by the conditions.

Later, I also signed a contract with the other high-ranking men who visited Odil afterwards.

However, as I returned to my senses, I realized that I had threatened them with nonsense, with so many embarrassing words that I couldn’t even think to myself in the privacy of my own mind. That’s why I became a maid who only visited them at night.

The high-ranking men, especially Sir Odil, knew the necessity of finding that ring. Because it was an unusual ring with a striking design, I thought that we’d be able to find it soon. However, the reality was that no trace could be found of it.

It had been three years since the ring disappeared, and one year since I became a maid. I was starting to doubt that I’d ever see the ring again, but I still couldn’t give up hope.

***

It was a simple task to absorb energy at night, though because I become someone who’s seemingly lost her marbles at that time, I would burst into tears come morning.

Because I was worked to the bone during the day, time would pass by quickly and evening came in a blink of an eye. It was eerie to see a sky-dyed scarlet that would soon darken.

“It seems like the day goes by so fast these days.”

“You sound like an old lady when you say that, Lily. You’re a hard-working kid. I’ve been here five years, but I’ve never met anyone else like you. You deserve to be doted on by your in-laws.”

At the mess hall, I felt sick when I smelled the food. I rummaged for the salad that I brought, not bothering to sprinkle on some dressing, and took a bite.

Then, I shook my head gloomily at Maria’s look of admiration.

“I don’t like working. I just like the time I use to work.”

“What’s the difference?”

“Not sure. But, it’s different.”

At night, I somehow had to absorb energy, so I’d rather spend my day mindlessly working, that way I didn’t have to think about it.

Maria looked at me with confusion, but I just couldn’t explain this.

Unable to finish even half of my plate, I put down my fork and waited for Maria as she finished her meal, cutting her bread and spreading jam, chewing it in her cheeks, and emptying her soup bowl and milk glass. After that, I went back to my room and bathed.

As Maria said, the chief lady-in-waiting, Sistina, also adored me for being diligent, so even though I’d only been a maid here for a year, I was given a room all to myself.

Every dawn, I would kick my blankets like crazy and scream as silently as I could. As far as I was concerned, I was very fortunate that nobody saw me like that.

It was getting dark outside. As I gazed at my reflection in the mirror, I sighed.

Who should I give a home visit to this evening…?

Inside the castle were three options.

First was Sir Odil, the second was Sir Endymion, and the third was Regulus, a knight of the Imperial Order. He was just a regular knight when I first signed a contract with him with the other high-ranking men, so I hadn’t touched him yet.

I was reluctant to see Sir Odil’s face again after last night’s ordeal. Although in Sir Endymion’s case, both the rational me and the succubus me didn’t like him very much. Lily wasn’t comfortable with him, and Lilith would be unsatisfied because he was too boring.

As for Lily, I’d rather take the straightforward route, but Lilith might visit Sir Odil again tonight.

Please, I beg of you, Lilith. As you lay in bed tonight, please don’t do anything strange or say anything too outlandish. Just quietly take your energy and be happy with that…

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