Chapter 19: Chapter 14.1 An Unlikely Conversation

“I am not doing ‘the fuck’ at all as you can feel.” Came a cheeky response.

I groaned and sat up. Absentmindedly patting Yeva’s head to calm her down as well. She was starting to look like a mouse trapped in the corner or a child with two parents bickering. Unsure what to do.

“Don’t worry about it for now,” I told her. “I can tell this has Irje’s handiwork all over it.”

“Okay.” Came, once again, meek and unsure response. I sighed and silently gestured at her while glaring at Irje in the meantime.

‘Look what you did’ my actions said.

“How about this.” I ruffled her hair and pulled her in gently toward me. With a quiet gasp, she let herself fall beside me, right where Irje would usually sleep.

“Relax for a moment, enjoy the bed,” I murmured getting up myself. Satisfied that the softness and the warmth quickly calmed her down. “Don’t go anywhere and most importantly don’t worry. I will just catch up with Irje’s shenanigans quickly and then come back. Okay?”

“Mmm-hmm,” She murmured, softly breathing deeply into the soft pillow. Well, I couldn’t judge her for that reaction. I’ve done the same first time I’ve tried it myself.

“Good.” I stood up and headed outside, smacking Irje’s butt on my way. “You, follow me.”

As soon as we stepped out I turned around and hissed, “Now mind explaining what the hell is this about.”

“I thought you liked her.” Irje’s exuberance faded quite a bit.

“I do, as a friend. I wasn’t being nice to her just to get under her dress. That spot is taken by you.” I huffed.

She looked at me, eyes wide, and then suddenly hugged me tightly. Ignoring my protests by burying me into her bosom.

“Thank you, Erf. I still don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you.” She murmured, squeezing the air out of me.

After a minute of rough treatment, she finally pushed me away. “But you can’t be my Sadaq.”

An unknown word. I’ve never heard it before. But a sinking feeling in my heart had already betrayed me, whispering morose suggestions.

A slightly sad smile on Irje’s overall happy face didn’t help either.

“What? What does it mean?” I couldn’t stop but whispering back.

“You’ve never heard it before? And yet you offered it to me.” She chuckled ruefully and pulled me closer once again. “If I was a wicked woman I would have taken on your offer. Wicked and dumb.”

“Would you at least explain to me what is it” I groused, placated by her touch.

“It means a gift of family. A willing choice to join, compared to the bonds forged by blood. Or taken through force.”

I frowned. A marriage? I mean our relationship was still fresh, and we were both slaves so that became rather tricky to do and permission of Domina to begin with. But to refuse it so plainly just like that. It nagged at me.

But I forced myself to calm down. At least until she could finish her explanation. I can blow my lid afterwards.

“And why do you say that you can’t?”

She ruffled my head. “Think about it. Between us, who follows who? Who has the personal ear of the Domina and a Rhetor? Who wears a Golden Gestr of Kiymetl like a bauble.”

I glanced at her, unwilling to concede. “So, you only refuse because I have potential? What happened to the promise of being mine?”

I would not accept something rote like ‘I am a burden to your glorious future’ bullshit.

Instead, I got a tighter hug. “And I agreed. I will be your Sadaq.” She smiled down at me.

Now I was confused. What was the difference?

“Is it some power dynamics thing?” I ventured. Feeling her nod, I sighed and shook my head. “No.”

It was her time to gasp. “No?”

“Not mine, not yours. Ours.” I clarified. “I refuse to have anything less.”

She sagged down in our embrace, but a frown was still on her face. “But what about others?”

“Others?” I asked.

“Who will wish to join as your Sadaq.”

Oh. Oh no. This wasn’t a marriage thing at all. I groaned as the comprehension dawned on me, realizing why there was a clear distinction between hers and mine.

My position made perfect sense now. She couldn’t take me as her harem, her concubine, her whatever. But I could. So why was I still conflicted about it?

Ah.

Hello, my dissonant brain, my old friend. Once again the source of my conflict came from my newfound knowledge. Whatever system it relied on it took monogamous relationships as a default.

“And If I am unwilling to receive them?” I ventured.

She smiled sadly. “Too late for that. Just from your current achievements, you will end up with multiple propositions in the future. Even those that would not take a simple no for an answer. While I am happy that you choose me; I am afraid that, if you use me as a reason not to take others, there will be those willing to remove me. Permanently.”

I swore. And started to think.

“Fine,” I eventually relented. “You will be in our sadaq. And because it is ours, we will have to agree first before receiving anyone else. Will you be satisfied with that?”

She answered with a kiss instead. “How could I not. You have been showering me in gifts all this time and even now, when I gave myself to you, you still try to pull me to your level.”

“Because it is lonely to be on the top,” I murmured. “Because I refuse to treat those I care about as beneath me. Sexy times aside.”

She giggled as I pinched her.

“Now,” I sighed. “Let us set this alone, for now, so you can actually tell me what is going on? Don’t tell me you are already looking for a third?”

She sighed. “I wasn’t, honestly. Even though I saw that you were friendly with her and I liked her myself it was not the reason why I’ve done it.” She glanced at me and asked, “Do you remember why they bought you?”

A pit opened in my stomach. An ugly truth that I forgot about as soon as I met Virnan.

“No,” I breathed.

“Unfortunately.”

“But I am a teacher now, and she is working under you on the soap!”

“Yes, as a teacher you don't have to worry about it anymore. Actually, you are so high in the ranks that husbands might start feeling suspicious to your rise, in case you will dare to ask Domina to be in her Sadaq.”

I shuddered.

Irje continued, however. “That doesn’t extend to her, however. She might be important to you and me, maybe even Domina does find her useful. But she isn’t useful enough for her to intervene in case one of them will decide to take her. Domina will likely keep her here and won’t send her out with them, nor would she let the rest of the household use her.” She chewed on her lips. “While I am happy to know that, I still want her to be ready in case something happens.”

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“Are they coming soon?” I asked.

She shook her head negatively.

“So you want me what? Prepare her? Teach her the tricks?”

“I want her to have a pleasant first time with someone she trusts and cares about, she told me enough. And your knowledge would help as well.”

I sighed as I leaned back on the wall. Then I slumped down to the ground.

“This world sucks.”

“You say it like there are others.” She sat beside me.

“There are, most likely. Somewhere among the stars.” I looked at the bright blue sky.

Irje followed my gaze

“Lands of Gods, perhaps.”

My gaze was unfocused, my mind thinking about Yeva. I wanted her safe, and I wanted her happy. Hell, a lizard brain of mine wanted her body too. And while later was extremely easy to achieve, it was the former that bothered me more. It was easy to think of thousands of slaves treated harshly every day, or the countless others captured at war. Or many more atrocities committed every second. Our brains weren’t simply designed to comprehend large numbers that easily.

It was much harder when the target of potential misery was lying in your bed. Probably enjoying the softness for the first time in her life. Basking in the minute of happiness.

I set my mind. She deserved happiness that I could give to her, and it was Irje’s idea, to begin with. And the rest? We will cross the bridge when we get there.

I stretched and got up. “Very well. I will see what I can do, but I will talk to Yeva first. Make sure she actually wants it.”

Irje smiled at me and gave me her arm. As I pulled her upward I continued. “You, my kitten, have been very naughty today, however. Coming up with such plans behind my back once more.”

“Um.” She fidgeted under my gaze. “The oil is on the table, perhaps-”

“No.”

She stumbled “No?”

I shook my finger at her. “Something tells me you would enjoy exploring that way too much. So it won't work as a punishment.”

“But what?… No!” She breathed as I walked inside. “Hey, Erf! Wait for me, we need to talk about this!”

“Don’t worry about it. I will be gentle and slow, Irje.”

“That’s exactly what I am worried about! I mean I wouldn’t mind if it was fast…” She licked her lips. “You can be rough.”

Yeva perked up on our return but didn’t look perturbed by our conversation. Well, I wouldn’t be surprised if she managed to listen in to us talking outside. What also didn’t surprise me that she stayed in my bed, hugging my blankets and pillows around her.

“But I do mind, Irje,” I said gently. “Now-” I palmed her mound through her shift, eliciting a tiny mewl from her. “All this can wait for later, perhaps tonight. Maybe in a few days.” My soft words into her ear made her growl instead.

She leaned into my palm. Her heat reaching me through the fabric.

I let her go, smacking her butt and ignoring her pout. “Right now there is someone else that needs our attention.”

Yeva gulped as I sat on the bed. “I wouldn’t mind gentle and slow.” She meekly whispered.

I smiled and ruffled her hair. “Don’t worry about what we said. She is just playing around.”

I ignored the grouse in the corner that mumbled something about it being a serious issue and continued, “She wasn’t too pushy was she?”

I ignored the squawk of outrage too.

Yeva in the meantime blushed and hid her face in the pillow. “No,” came a soft murmur, “I wanted it too.”

“And I do find you beautiful.” I rewarded her honesty with my concession. “I was just brought up thinking I should be with one person at a time, so I considered myself taken.”

“Well, you went off and made yourself too important now.” Another quip from the corner.

“Yeah, that. Apparently, a single spouse is a luxury of the poor.”

My words made both of them giggle, although I was dead serious.

“Ah, I would recognize Erf just from his silly words alone.” Yeva kept giggling. The corner audience agreed.

“Now, I don’t want to make it more awkward for any of us any longer, so I would ask one more question, do you want Irje here?”

“What? Why?” Irje whined.

I gestured for her to wait.

“Umm…”

“Ah.” I stopped her, “Don’t think, feel. Will you be more comfortable with me alone, or you would want Irje with us?”

Yeva fidgeted for a bit and then asked, her face still buried into the pillow. “Will you watch over me?” One of her peculiar phrases.

I gently ran my fingers through her blond curls as short as they were. “I am watching you right now. I do care about you, and I do like you.”

“Then I would like it to be just us. Sorry, Irje.” Came a soft response.

“Awww,” Irje whined but there was little heat in it this time. She understood. “But what about a treat?” Or maybe she didn’t.

“You heard her. Out.” I waved her off, grinning.

“But can I have some fun afterwards?”

“Of course you can. Your punishment will be lots of fun.”

“Erf!”

“Now shoo.”

 

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