Chapter 37: 37: Goodbyes

Amelia

 

I was so cold. Why was it so cold? The darkness was worse than the cold, though. The gentle interior lights of my pod were off, and I couldn’t see a damn thing. How long had I been stuck in here, alone? I had no idea. It felt like fucking ages. The fact that my hands, feet, and nose felt warm probably told me that it’d been more than enough time for the cold to seep in. Was this how I died?

I didn’t want to die in this awful, hairy, smelly, chunky body. At the very least, I deserved to die as myself—in a body that made sense to my fucked up brain.

God, the worst part of this body was the way it sometimes didn’t make me feel shitty. Those times when miraculously, my mind seemed to accept the meatsuit I was piloting. Then the doubt would creep in, assaulting my very identity. Was I just imagining it? Was something else the problem? Was I as crazy as the haters said I was?

Of course, then I spent two years in storage, living entirely as a woman in VR and loving every second of it. Yeah, those doubts could go fuck themselves. Like, with a sword or something. Really ride that blade. Make old Vlad the impaler proud.

A thump from outside my pod caught my undivided attention, and all at once the gremlins running my brain were screaming with hope and excitement. Was that Rosa? Please let it be Rosa.

“In here!” I called, instantly cringing at my voice. It was like my soul was a chalkboard and it’d just screeched its nails down it. The actual worst. Not just because it was awful and manly, but also because of how weak I sounded.

I got no verbal reply. Instead, there was a god awful screeching sound and a crash. What the hell? That sounded suspiciously like a metal door being torn off its hinges. Don't ask me how I know what that sounds like.

There was another sound—a thump, like someone landing after jumping down. Okay, that was definitely Rosa. It had to be.

"Rosa!" I called, straining to raise the volume of my voice. "Rosa!"

There was a pause, and then I heard her. "Ame?"

Tears of relief trailed down my cheeks as I fell slack. My arms weren't working anymore, and I couldn't even feel my legs, but none of that mattered. She was here. Rosa was here.

I heard sounds of other pods being thrown around the train car, and then fingers wedged themselves through the crack between the pod door and the chassis. Rosa swore under her breath, and steel screamed in protest. Between one second and the next, the door to my pod was launched away into the darkness, and a helmeted face came into view.

She looked… sort of similar to her witch persona, actually. Dark hair framed a face that was slightly younger than from the game, and softer too. The hard angles and creepy black tendrils under the skin were missing. It was like her fox form and her witch form had combined.

"Ame?" She asked hesitantly.

I laughed bitterly and tried to nod. My head only barely moved. Unlike her, there was no resemblance between my game character and my body.

"Your hands are black with frostbite," she whispered, reaching out to touch them for a second. I didn't feel it. "I'm going to put the hardware on your head, okay? I don't think—" she choked up, and I saw a tear run down her cheek. My heart ached to brush it away, to pull her close and kiss the top of her head until she fell asleep, happy and safe.

Clearing her throat, she continued, "I don't think you have long left in that body. Is it okay if we get started?"

"Yeah, Smokes," I said softly. When it was like that, my voice didn't sound so bad. I spoke like a girl, even if the equipment was wrong. I bet if I'd had time and motivation, I could've trained my voice properly.

Rosa unhooked something from the back of her belt and brought it forward. It looked like some sort of mad scientist's headgear, complete with glowing bits. With gentle hands, she fitted it onto my head.

I expected her to lean back and press a button or something, but instead she popped the visor of her helmet and brushed her lips against mine in a brief kiss. I only felt the pressure of the contact, and when she pulled away, blood from my cracked lips was on hers. She absently wiped it away, unbothered by the fact it was there.

The headset began to hum quietly, but I ignored it and asked, "Why?"

"Why did I do that?" she asked, giving me a small, affectionate smile while her eyes struggled to hold all of her emotions. "I love you, Ame. I love you regardless of what you look like. You're my girlfriend."

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Oh. Oh damn. I was so damn lucky. I was the luckiest person in the whole bloody universe.

My eyes misted with tears, and I smiled up at her. God I felt so weak, so weak and tired and— my vision went wonky. That was the best way I could describe it. All the colours that mixed together to make up my vision separated, and I felt like my brain was running at half speed.

A sense of urgent purpose came over me as I was crossing the threshold into my new digital life, and slowly, excruciatingly, I said, "I… love… you… too…"

My vision snapped back into focus, and I was somewhere else. Where…? I sat up.

I was on a bed. A big one too. It had black sheets and a red comforter with pillows to match. God, it was soft.

Sitting up, I looked around the room like a timid, curious kid. It was nice, but sort of empty. Shaped like a stretched out semi-circle, with the bed at the apex of the arch, it made me wonder what kind of house this was in. The whole curve was one big window, too, beyond which a crazy snowstorm was beginning to show. Was this Rosa's VR?

It was definitely not where she lived full time. It didn't have the feel of a bedroom used regularly, even if Rosa was more tidy than most folks I knew.

However, it was still undoubtedly her room. The red and black bed, plus matching dark wallpaper with red rose stencils on it? Who the hell else would it belong to?

I grinned to myself and moved to get out of bed, only to come to a complete stop. Oh. Oh my god.

My hand was… it was… mine? It looked like my hand from the game or VR, but the skin tone was normal white. It also had a pair of joined tubes connected to a port in my wrist.

The realisation that I was not in VR tiptoed out into my mind like it was scared I'd bolt and flee. I could see some sort of liquid being pumped into me down one tube and then out again down the other. Even while I was staring at it, the flow stopped, and there was a little snick sound. It detached, and the port disappeared into my arm, leaving only a small circle of dark composite.

Reaching over with my other hand, I poked it. Wow.

God, and my hands themselves. I'd seen them every day for a couple of years now, but… this was real. They were strong, but also slender and feminine. Which meant…

I pulled the covers off myself and looked down. Thighs. Glorious, smooth, squishy thighs. I gave them a test poke, and they were indeed what they appeared to be—a girl's thighs.

Carefully, I lifted the band of the black boyshorts I was wearing and smiled. Yup. No more dick.

I let the band snap back into place, and was surprised at just how… visceral the feeling was. Far out but this body was impressive. As were the tits contained within my bralette. A quick check revealed that everything was in order with the assets.

Letting out a giddy laugh, I flopped backwards into the bed and wriggled like a crazy person. I had a girl body in reality! I had it! It was mine!

My exuberant wiggling was cut off when the whole damn building shifted, and… oh. This wasn't a building, it was Rosa's skyship!

Bolting up out of the bed, I stumbled over to the window and looked outside. Canadian tundra and forest spread out below me like a vast ocean, while the snowstorm raged ahead. This was so fucking cool!

Wait… but Rosa was still out in that storm! Would she be okay? Worried, I looked around for some sort of device to communicate, but there was nothing.

Movement outside caught my eye, and I looked back out the window. Speeding towards the ship was a tiny craft, barely bigger than the bed I'd woken up in. It looked like an upgraded version of the old stealth aircars we'd used on single person missions in the army.

One thing was definitely obvious, though. That was my girlfriend on her way back. Relief hit me in a wave, and I began looking around for more clothes. I was going to meet my girl in reality, for real and fully lucid this time! Phew, talk about nerves!

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