Chapter 33: 33

Chapter 33: American Joke

 

The next morning.

I was brought to the inspection area and a round sticker-like object prepared by Kashiwagi-san was stuck all over my body.

The sticker had an electronic chip embedded in it that measures heart rate, sweat rate, and other parameters.

With it on, I did running, squats, dumbbells, etc. as instructed.

Intrigued, Kashiwagi-san put her hand on her chin.

“Hmmm, it appears you have always been exercising. Most of the other subjects usually looked to be in pain at this point. You’re still looking good.”

“Yes, I was working part-time. I also used to run… every day for various reasons.”

I never thought my daily bullying would be useful in this way…

“Well, that’s very good. Now, I will use this information to finalize your training menu. You will get the measurement results in two weeks.”

“Oh, so that’s why you told me to learn all the English words in two weeks.”

“Yeah, once the training starts, it’ll be too late to study. Once you’ve memorized words you don’t know, you’ll learn them as you talk.”

“Uhee, then I definitely need to memorize it… though I’m not confident…”

“Well, I speak to you in Japanese, so it won’t be too much of a problem, but I’ll leave it up to you to decide how much… you want to learn.”

◇◇◇　　　　　

— Then, two weeks later.

In one hospital room I was surrounded by scary older men covered in tattoos.

At the center of them all, I narrated the rest of the story we’d been having.

“ —that nurse said to the doctor in a panic. Doctor, we have a problem! The patient you just examined collapsed and died right after leaving the hospital!”

“ —so what did the doctor say?”

“The doctor said, don’t worry. Just keep the patient facing the opposite direction from where he fell. That’ll work.”

Hearing my story, the whole hospital room erupts into a roar of laughter.

By this time, I managed to have some proficiency in English and American jokes.

To be honest, my pronunciation was still poor, but people are not always what they appear to be, and these scary-looking men patiently listened to my stammering English and kept me company every day.

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Outside the open door of the hospital room where laughter echoes.

Seeing Kashiwagi-san staring at me with an astonished expression, I stopped the story-tellling.

“Excuse me, I think I’m being called away. Thank you so much for keeping me company today.”

“It’s okay, bro!”

“Yeah, we’re glad we got a break from the boredom, too!”

“It’s been fun watching your English improve every day! It cheered me up!”

“Let’s hear it again tomorrow!”

I made an apologetic face as I returned the greeting with a fist bump.

“Uh, I may be busy tomorrow… My clinical trial is about to start.”

“Oh, really? Take care!”

“Then, here you go. Here’s our contact info, call us if you need anything.”

“Yeah, you’re our family now.”

Family… I guess in a mafia sense?

No, if you’re in America, a gangster maybe.

Either way, I won’t dare to contact them.

After they gave me a grand send-off, I walked to Kashiwagi-san outside the hospital room.

“You didn’t have to learn all those American jokes, you know? Besides, that’s the worst thing you could have said in the hospital.”

“Since I was being kept company, I thought I’d at least entertain them…”

“Your English sounded pretty slick now. That being said, I hope you didn’t sideline the Ramune-cigarettes I gave you from them.”

“Please don’t talk to me like I’m on some kind of illegal drug. I didn’t give anyone anything, and they didn’t give me anything weird either, so please don’t worry.”

“Good, we’ve got your test results. Here’s the training you’ve been waiting for.”

“Wow, looks like a lot of fun.”

Thus, after a pleasant two-week grace period, my h**l was about to begin.

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