Chapter 13: Chapter 13 – My Balls

 

…

There's no way I will let a wish be wasted by having Bulma wish for her perfect boyfriend or panties. Yamcha thought while sneakily looking at the Dragon Ball he had hidden in his inventory. He had also discovered that the inventory could hide the Dragon Balls from the radar. 

 

His left broken arm twitched in pain, he winced. It felt like worms were crawling under his skin as if his arm was trying to heal itself over the broken bone. But the status effect skill subsided. Gamer’s Body was one weird skill, it was a combination between Regeneration and Bullshit Logic. 

 

Through the pain, he tried to act calm and think of the good memories of his past life. 

 

Yu Gi Oh and Dragon Ball were the only two things he had going for him in his childhood. Fond memories rushed to the front of his mind at the thought. 

 

Looking at the rising sun, Yamcha couldn't help but contemplate if he should have maybe snoozed. His HP and Ki get charged to full when he sleeps, removing any status effects and returning the body to normal. 

"This is such a pain.” Bulma complained. “How are we going to find the last dragon ball?"

 

Yamcha didn't comment on that as he glanced toward a sleeping Goku. From what he had seen, Pilaf and his gang were still alive. There were no corpses in the castle. 

 

"Maybe if you hadn't always made our journey slow with your dilly-dallying, then we could have gotten all the dragon balls," Oolong muttered.      

 

"What did you say, you pig?!" Bulma slapped the walking pig upside the head. But by the look on her face, she seemed somewhat regretful too.

"Well, I am sure that the prince you're looking for will come along eventually," Yamcha reassured Bulma. Not like the perfect gentlemanly boyfriend she wanted was good for her either. Sometimes what we want, like, or need are different things.

 

Vegeta wasn't the prince charming Bulma wanted, but they would eventually get used to each other. The two would be like oil and water, but she grew to like more manly men.

 

Every girl wants a soft prince charming when they're young and a strong man when they get older. – That was what one of his first life girlfriends had told Yamcha. Of course, she was a toxic person, so he always took her advice as a recommendation at best. 

 

Remembering some bad thoughts from the relationship, Yamcha quickly dispelled useless thoughts about his past life romances. 

…

 

After searching for a while, they couldn't find the last dragon ball. 

 

During that, Yamcha pulled out the Monkey King's Banana and started eating it whole. Immediately a heat rushed through his body, and he wondered what effect a Legendary Consumable Item would have.

 

[Your body is experiencing many changes.]

 

[The strength of your monkey ancestors is rumbling within you.]

 

[Strength increased by 5]

 

[Agility increased by 5]

 

[Endurance increased by 5]

 

[New Title Gained: Monkey King's Potential]

[Your body will experience rapid physical growth until all physical stats are 50.

+150% Stat Training Speed increase until 50.]

 

Yamcha changed his equipped title before anyone could blink. Bandit was mostly a useless title that helped with intimidation.

=======

Name: Yamcha

Age: 16

Title: Monkey King's Potential

Level 11 [EXP: 94%]

~~

HP: 50/50

MP: (locked) 

Ki: 13/33

~~

Strength: 10 -> 15

Agility: 12 -> 17

Endurance: 10 -> 15

(Power Level: 11 -> 16) 

~~

Intelligence: 5

Perception: 7

Willpower: 6

(Magic Power: 6)

~~

Status Points: 50

~~

Description: Three times as strong as a normal human. In general, still a weakling. 

=======

"Umm," Goku woke up, stood up and fell down. He turned around and saw his tail missing. Scratching his head, the Saiyan looked around in confusion, checking if he might have dropped it somewhere. "Hm? Where is Milkmaf? Where are we?"

 

Suddenly, it seemed to draw on Goku's face that his tail was nowhere to be seen. 

 

“My tail is gone!!” Goku yelled out in panic and then shrugged nonchalantly. “Oh well.”

Yamcha couldn’t help but smile at his quick recovery. “Never change, Goku, never change.”

 

He was quite jealous of how fast Goku could recover through anything. 

[Goku - Lvl 5]

[A strange young man with a monkey tail? His origins are mysterious, and a great power dwells within him. He is a friend of yours. Goku thinks you are strong and someone he wants to defeat. When he was young, he hit his head and lost all of his memory. Though Goku will eat anything, he hates carrots. His only fear is needles, and his hobby is finding and fighting strong opponents. Goku's favorite mode of transportation is flying on his nimbus… (PL: 17)] 

Yamcha stared at the explanation. There were so many things about Goku on the screen that even he, as a Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z anime watcher, didn't know. 

 

Why was the skill suddenly showing him so much? He didn't get any notifications of his Observation Skill leveling up. But he noticed something else. Now Goku's level was lower than his own. Meaning the Observe Skill is much more potent against lower leveled people. 

 

Once again, Goku had gotten a Zenkai Boost. That wasn't surprising to Yamcha; those Saiyan genes were a hack. "So, Goku, how the hell did you end up here?"

 

Yamcha curiously decided to learn what kind of crazy circumstances had led to Goku being kidnapped and becoming an Oozaru. 

 

"There was this old woman, muffins, castle, alien-looking guy, and good food." Explained the Saiyan without a care in the world.

 

On the other hand, Yamcha understood nothing but nodded and played along. "Ah, that makes sense."

 

"It does?" Asked Oolong, looking at them weirdly. 

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"Of course," Yamcha smirked. "Friends like Goku and I can understand each other without speaking."

***

Pilaf was angry. No, he was absolutely livid. 

 

Everything had been going perfectly fine. He had planned it all, and they only needed to wait for the monkey boy's two other companions with the rest of the dragon balls. 

 

The castle was rigged with traps, and they wouldn't be able to escape.

 

At least that's what he thought would happen, but the monkey-tailed boy somehow turned into a giant monkey and destroyed the castle! Even missiles had been useless against the monkey's tough skin. 

 

"DAMN IT! That's so unfair!" Pilaf screamed out in defiance as he rode a big jet plane back toward the castle. 

 

Of course, he couldn't let this go! How was he supposed to know the monkey boy could turn into a giant monster? The Gods were being unfair to him! How could such a ridiculous thing happen?!

 

There was no way Pilaf would let this chance slip through his fingers. He was going to turn back and get what he deserved. 

 

By now, the monkey kid's friends had probably joined together and would summon the wish-granting dragon. There's no way he will allow that after everything he has been through. 

 

After all the hard work he had put in, Pilaf felt like he deserved this. 

 

He knew that there wouldn't be another chance like this in his life. No one was lucky enough to gather the dragon balls twice in their lifetime.

 

"Mai! Shu! Get in your robots!" Yelled out Pilaf as he landed the plane, and his subordinates, who were a little injured due to the crashing of the castle, got on the mecha robots that looked like cars with arms and legs. 

 

Pilaf got on his own bigger robot, the size of a small house. They charged the monkey kid and another boy with long dark hair as they rumbled through the castle's rubble. Pilaf was happy as this meant they hadn't found the Dragon Balls yet.

 

The long, dark-haired one, which, from what the monkey kid had said when he was  imprisoned, was likely Yamcha, the strong guy. 

 

For that monstrous kid to call someone strong, they they had to be monsters. Maybe litterally.

 

Pilaf went all out from the beginning and used the machine gun mounted on his shoulder to shoot at the young man.

 

Pa! Pa! Pa! Pa!... 

 

Bullets rained down on Yamcha, the young man looked surprised, but he quickly jumped to the side and dodged the bullets. But Pilaf was relentless in his attack. 

 

No matter how strong, Yamcha was still a human made of flesh and blood, so just one bullet hitting would be game over. 

 

"Hahahaha! Run like a bug, you weakling!" Yelled out Pilaf. But as he was shooting, he felt his heart drop and finger go numb.

 

Noticing what Yamcha did was too late, the hail of bullets rained down on Mai's and Shu's robots, ripping the robot's armor to shreds. 

 

Pilaf took his finger off the shooting button immediately. Yamcha took advantage of and charged at him. An afterimage of a wolf appeared behind him as his fist slammed against the robot Pilaf was in.

 

He could feel the shock wave passing through his body, but Pilaf was still confident as no mortal flesh can break through metal-

 

CRASH!... 

 

Yamcha’s hand rammed through the metal, and he grabbed some cables, pulling hard on them. Pilaf’s heart stopped, and he panicky mashed some buttons, activating the missile from one of his robot’s shoulder pads and shot at his assailant. 

 

But even at point blank, the teen was fast enough that he could move to the side and dodge the missile as it flew behind him and blasted a tree to smithereens. 

 

Dangerous, deadly, Yamcha’s eyes were cold because even as he brushed his hair with death, he didn’t panic and kept ripping the robot apart until he finally reached Pilaf. 

 

They pulled a gun and shot at Yamcha before slamming his hand on a big red button as the teen dodged the bullet. 

 

"The fuck is wrong with this guy too! Why are they all monsters?!" Pilaf felt like crying at the unfairness. He shot out of the robot and launched into the air.

 

He pulled out a parachute and noticed that the monkey boy, Goku, had taken the staff he had been carrying before being imprisoned. 

 

Suddenly, the stick became longer and was slamming it into Mai and Shu’s robots and destroying them. However, he noted that the young boy also seemed to be falling a lot. 

“No! No! NOO!! This can’t be happening!” Pilaf felt like weeping as a feeling of powerless frustration bubbled within himself. 

 

He took out a remote and yelled out a desperate warning to his subordinates. “Mai! Shu! Get out of the machines!”

 

As soon as he said that, Mai and Shu were ejected from the robots, and Pilaf pressed the self-destruct button.

 

If he was going to lose, then everyone would lose!

 

BOOOOM!!

A huge explosion rocked the area, and Pilaf looked at the sea of flames and could do nothing but go to the airplane he had come in, hoping that the monkey kid and the other one were dead due to the explosion. But deep down his gut told him otherwise. 

 

Just like that, he set off, and the last thing he heard was the green-haired young girl yell out in panic. “Oh no! My dragon balls!”

 

What? Why was she saying that? They hadn’t taken the dragon balls? 

 

Pilaf was confused, but still happy as it seemed like the young girl had lost the dragon balls too. 

But even as he sets flight, Mai nudges him. “Sir, a kid is riding a yellow cloud following us.”

 

“Mai, don’t be ridiculous there is no-” Pilaf’s eyes almost popped out of his head as he saw the monkey kid riding in a yellow cloud. 

 

The world around him crumbled. Where was the logic? Flying clouds, giant monkeys, sticks that could grow longer in command. What was next? Aliens and God?

 

Was the world mocking him, showing things that shouldn’t be possible will happen so that he can’t have the dragon balls?!

 

Suddenly the plane tilted a little too, and this time Shu warned him. “Sir, the long-haired guy also has grabbed onto one of our plane’s wings with a strange rope that seems to have a mind of its own.”

“WHAT THE HELL?!” Pilaf yelled out, looked at one of the plane’s mirrors, and saw Yamcha grabbing onto a normal-looking rope levitating around him. “Damn it!!”

******

A/N: College is starting soon. This is going to suck. At least I am almost finished, so that helps somewhat. Anyone who studies Engineering knows how this feels, the despair in the cusp of a mental breakdown. 

 

P.S: When Goku says Milkmaf, he means Pilaf. Since Pilaf is a type of food, Goku might have remembered it, but he grew up on a mountain, so he wouldn’t know of things like this. 

 

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