Chapter 5: chapter 5

I’m not dead. That’s a good sign.

 

Aiden stretched as he sat up and stifled a yawn.

 

Well, considering.

 

He had a long day ahead of him. He used that device from earlier that’d been dead to search the web after it got a charge to it. Thankfully it didn’t have a password. And thankfully he understood the language. 

 

He’s pretty sure he’s speaking it, too. It was very hard to notice, but he discovered a few differences between what he was saying and how they sounded to his own ears. Like he understood the meaning as if it were in English, but the sounds his mouth made and the movements of his lips didn’t match what the words would be if spoken in English.

 

He spoke several languages in his previous life due to his family’s dealings with foreign powers so it was something he experienced before, but those times he never noticed he slipped into a different language until someone pointed it out. He was careless like that sometimes as he started learning the languages since very early on. 

 

But he didn’t speak Japanese. Had never learned it. So it wasn’t the same. He noticed it more, the differences. Anyway, thank god for the auto-translation thing. If he was left here without being able to read or speak the language, how shitty would that be? 

 

Aiden spent hours online looking for buyers for all this stuff. He’d taken numerous pictures of the items before boxing them up and he had more than a dozen people interested in his wares. 

 

He’d arranged a meeting in a couple days to have the buyers come and confirm the condition of the items before purchase. So he had time to kill. He decided to start exercising. He’ll go buy some weights with the money he had on him right now, maybe some protein shake mixes. It was a good start. He can get more advanced equipment after he sells his stuff.

 

Logically speaking, this body should hold the potential to be just as strong as the other people of this world. Which, let’s just say now, probably isn’t that great in terms of physical strength. In that regard they probably aren’t more than two to three times stronger on average than people of his previous world would have been. 

 

Human society is engineered for the average everything. If you were 100x stronger than the average person on his previous Earth, for example, life would be hard. You’d accidentally crush door knobs or rip the door off entirely. You’d break your glasses just trying to clean them. They just wouldn’t be able to withstand your strength. Life would be a struggle since interacting with the world would just be so different.  

 

So he didn’t think Cade’s warning of “People here are a bit stronger than those of your world” is very exaggerated in terms of physical toughness. Neither that Rumi nor her mother have accidentally destroyed things, so that’s all the evidence he needs. 

 

Still...a two to three times increase in strength...that’s not small, either. He felt it should be more in that range, yeah. The average woman of around 130 pounds should be able to bench press 70-90 pounds. With a man, that should be around 130-170 pounds they could lift. 

 

Of course, averages like this can be really tricky, but that’s a good standard for those who don’t regularly exercise or lift heavy objects often and aren’t overweight or overly skinny. 

 

If you increase their strength by just a .5 then for women they could lift around 30 pounds more, and men that’s at least 50.

 

So yeah. It’s pretty significant. Some of the more physically active people here should be able to lift at least 500 pounds without much trouble at all, while those who lift with dedication may have twice that. And the people who stand at the top in physical strength? They could likely AT LEAST lift 500 pounds more than the strongest man of Aiden’s previous world. 

 

And this is him thinking conservatively. If it’s a two times increase we’re talking about these numbers get a lot scarier. Broken bones would be a lot more common in a fight, if nothing else.

 

Aiden didn’t know about this world apart from people being a little stronger, but Cade made things sound...somewhat worrisome? Somehow. LIke he wasn’t saying everything. 

 

It was odd. Aiden had a bit of a bad feeling but ignored it for now and settled for just losing all this fat.

 

He wasn’t expecting to have to go through any life-threatening conditions here, after all. 

 

Maybe I want that, though. 

 

He made a mistake just then. He thought about his family. His sister’s teasing quips, his brother’s mischievous grin. The smell of tobacco around his father. His mom’s warm, motherly hugs. And his chest just….burned. 

 

I need a drink. Now.

 

He swung his feet over the edge of the bed. But something kept him from leaving.

 

The heck?

 

Aiden felt something on his hand just then. A hand. Sim, graceful fingers held onto his palm. Naoko.

 

“Hnnggnn” She moaned softly and dug herself deeper into the blankets, tightening her hold. 

 

He would never have complained most days. A beautiful woman hanging onto him like this? He had nothing to bitch about. But today, right now, he was just irritated. And maybe a little creeped out. 

 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing? Hey.” He pulled at his arm. “ Wake the fuck up.” And ripped the blanket off of her.

 

“Haaa~” She yawned. She was wearing the same sweater she was earlier but had taken off her skirt. She only had on her pantyhose. Those endlessly long legs, those plump, fatty thighs. It was a temptation. “Yuu-kun...what is it? Hm? It’s sho early~ Les go back to sleeeep….” The woman spoke drowsily.

 

The way she treated this whole thing really pissed him off. She knew he’d “lost his memories” but still snuck in? Who the hell did that? If she was going to, she could’ve at least given some service if she was going to sneak into his bed at night. 

 

“Wake up and get the hell out.” He wrenched his arm away and stood up. 

 

“Eh? Yuu-kun, why? We always used to--” 

 

Christ, this woman...exactly what relationship do these two have? 

 

Whatever. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with her. “Well things are different now, aren’t they? Just go. I mean come on, do I really have to explain how fucked up this is? I don’t even know you and you’re sneaking into my room based on your relationship with someone I’m not anymore. And what do you think your daughter would say if she saw? Have some goddamn presence of mind.”

 

She blinked. “Yuu...since when did you start speaking so crudely? Honestly.”

“Nevermind how I speak.” He brushed her off then took a bottle out of the drawer to his side. He didn’t even bother to go get a glass, directly taking a small gulp. It burned on it’s way down, but this burn was far more familiar and easy to deal with.

 

He took another swig. Then another. And another. 

 

“Yuu, what’re you doing?! You can’t drink that, it’s bad for you!” Naoko lunged forward, very righteously, and grabbed the bottle. 

 

“Let go.” His eyes narrowed.

 

“No!” 

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“I said--”

 

“Things like this aren’t good for you!” She repeated vehemently. “ I won’t let you drink it! Yuu-kun isn’t this kind of person!” She admonished loudly and forcibly took the drink away. 

 

His vision turned dark. A white-hot rage overcame him for just a second before he forced it down. “Then take it and get the fuck out.” He ground out. 

 

“Yuu--”

“Now.” 

 

Naoko paused. She didn’t know what to do. This...wasn’t her Yuuji. She’d never heard him speak like this, so aggressively. Even in those early days, he’d only been quiet and withdrawn.

 

She didn’t understand why he was so angry. She was even a little scared because he looked so wild just then, not at all like the gentle boy she knew. But beyond that, even more than fear, she felt...sad. Was this the Yuuji who existed when his trauma was gone? Just...anger, resentment? Because when she looked into his eyes, that’s all she saw.

 

It broke her heart. He didn’t know what’d been done to him, but maybe...maybe the feelings connected to those events still haunt him. Maybe he wasn’t quiet before, but subdued. By the past, by the people who wronged him. And perhaps this is how he is without that weighing him down. Lashing out because he didn’t know what else to do, being self destructive because he’s trying to kill what hurts. 

 

This isn’t her Yuuji. 

 

But what if this is the most real, most raw Yuuji, the one who needs her the most?

 

 “Yuu, what’s wrong?” She asked. “ Are you alright? Talk to me. Please.” She put a hand over his shoulder and pleaded for him to open up.

Aiden just shook his head. He wasn’t going to talk about a damn thing with this woman. Everything she thought she knew about him, she didn’t. Not that it mattered.  But she was keeping him from drinking, and he deserved a goddamn drink.  She didn’t understand. How could she? He wasn’t some abused kid. He’s an adult, dammit. One who’d been ripped from his family and punted to some bullshit world where Abe Lincoln was some kind of sword-wielding badass. He wouldn’t be surprised to find out the man was a vampire hunter next. 

 

So no, a talk wasn’t going to help. He didn’t need a shrink, he needed some strong spirits, a woman--maybe several--and a few choice substances that drowned the senses.

 

"Fuck it, I'll go instead. I need the air anyway." He didnt even care to look at her as he stood and got dressed, leaving her behind.

 

First, a jog to the store. Second, a drink. 

 

Then? Then he didn’t know. And he needed, just for a moment, to stop wondering whether he even cared. 

 

***

 

“Thank you for your patronage.” The nose-ringed young man unenthusiastically yawned out a farewell as he exited the store.

 

Aiden waved a hand and couldn’t wait to step out before uncorking the bottle and taking a hit. 

 

Liquid bliss

 

Jesus Christ, but this world knew how to make alcohol. The wine was sweet, fruity, and strong as hell. They were out of the other stuff, but Aiden wasn’t picky right now.

 

Jess loved wine. Aiden snuck her a Screaming Eagle once for her 14th birthday and she’d developed a taste for the stuff and the two developed their own little secret from their parents. She became a real connoisseur, tried almost every brand under the sun. He remembered once she begged him to take her to this one winery up in Italy. They’d taken a younger Ty and the little guy had wondered off to pick grapes from the vineyard.

 

They’d had to rub his stomach because he’d eaten so many before he was caught and his mouth was just stained with juice. It was--

 

No. Don’t. 

 

Aiden shoved the memories away. He had to force himself to stop their voices in his ears. Had to close his eyes to their grinning faces. It was hard. God, it was hard. He knew it’d only been a few days. He should be allowed to mourn, yeah? He had that right. 

 

But he couldn’t. Because when he thought about them, about any of them, he started to remember the bad things, too. The times he wasn’t there. The times he fucked up. Disappointed them. And how they forgave him after, every time, because that’s what family was supposed to do for each other. 

Don’t get him wrong. He didn’t mind the fact it made him feel like shit, remembering his mistakes. He knew what he’d done and accepted it. He deserved to feel that way. 

 

No, what he couldn’t stand was something else. Something simple. The knowledge that the forgiveness was over. There would be no more mistakes, there would be no more happy time, or sad times, or any time together at all. And that? That killed him. It wasn’t like a punch to the gut. It was like a hand around the heart.

 

Aiden wasn’t someone who believed in suicide, either. Maddox men toughed shit out. That’s just what they did. That’s what they had to do. There wasn’t any alternative. 

 

Maybe it was acceptable for others. He can’t blame them if they had a real crap life. But he couldn’t do it. He had to take what life gave him and at least try to enjoy it. 

 

Yeah. That’s what he’d been taught. 

 

So even in times like this when he felt empty, that wasn’t an option. Couldn’t be. So what should he do? It was a question that only had two answers. Live well, or live...maybe not so well. 

 

He’d lived both well and not so well in his last life. 

 

This was a chance to change that, right? He knew what his family would have wanted. He just wasn’t sure if he had the will to do it. Was there a point? Did it matter? Did he care? And well, why should he care, even?

 

Aiden was in a dangerous state of mind. He knew that. He could be so much worse than he used to be. And trust him, he used to be bad enough. Or he could be so much better.

 

The problem? There was no one to be better for. There was no one to tough shit out for. Keep living, maybe that will change. It’s just that right now there’s no reason not to fall into old habits, so... he simply didn’t know whether he’d be alive long enough for that change to happen.

 

Maybe he should just join a monastery. Learn self-fulfillment. Seek enlightenment or some shi--

 

“WATCH OUT~!”

 

Broken from his thoughts, Aiden turned around. It was then that a youth dressed in elaborately patterned robes and bearing girlishly long hair sped towards him.

 

Clinging for dear life the hilt of a runaway greatsword. The small amount of time he had to maybe get out a dodge, he spent cursing instead. “Fucking. Cade!” 

 

Who the hell leaves out the part about goddamn flying swords?!

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