Chapter 1: You Really Are Awesome, Thong Man!

Below the bright blue sky with scattered fluffy clouds...

On the rooftop of an apartment complex, looking down to the Tokyo metropolitan city is a man... a man ever so determindley wrapped and covered in colorful women's panties and thongs!!

They're on his arms like bracelets! On his neck like necklaces! And on his face like a mask! A thong mask! His entire body is wrapped in vibrant colors of pink, black, purple, red and in fact the entire fucking rainbow! Patterns of hearts, pandas, cats and devious stripes and polka dots riddle every inch and crevice of his body, right down to his very asshole! Like a mummified lecherous pharoah, he stands sternly as the wind vigorously blows his delicately stitched cape of thongs.

He holds up the phone in his hand and glances down at the black haired girl on the other side of the video chat.

Kora laughs her ass off through the video chat: "HEHEHEHAHAHAHEHEHE!!!"

Thong Man remains silent and continues staring down blankly at the phone as a few birds fly past the metropolitan sky.

Kora innocently continues laughing harder, hooked up to multiple tubes and life support machinery through her nose and wrists in what seems to be a hospital bed.

Thong Man blinks as Kora lags to the connection.

Kora: "HAAHA- AH- AHA- HAHA-"

She's cute but her skin is pale and lifeless.

Kora: "YOU EVEN WRAPPED ONE ON YOUR FACE LIKE A MASK! hahahahah!"

Thong Man sighs deeply: "Why the hell is wrappin' yourself in the thongs of the neighborhood women and standin' on a rooftop in your bucket list...?"

Kora: "CUZ NOW... YOU'RE THONG MAN! THE GOD OF THONGS! COVERING HIS SHREDDED BODY WITH THE THONGS OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD WOMEN IS HIS ORIGIN STORY!!! IT'S IN CHAPTER 1 OF THE MANGA WRITTEN AND ILLUSTRATED BY ME!!"

Thong Man sighs deeper.

-17 hours ago, at Tokyo Narita Airport-

People busily walk and lounge around terminal 2 as an announcement echoes above them: "Last call for all passengers on flight FU2560, please head to gate 7."

Rows of Japanese paper lantern decorations are stringed throughout the ceiling in a crowded ramen restaurant within the airport.

An 18-year-old boy and a 40-year-old man are seated at a table facing each other.

They silently eat without conversing for 20 seconds.

The boy slurps his ramen as the man sips his drink.

Man: "The doctors say tomorrow's my daughter's last day alive."

The boy looks up at him.

Man: "Her final wish was to have a boy around her age to complete her bucket list for her. But she's not very popular with the boys cuz she spends all her time writin' and drawin' weird stories."

The Man mouths a few noodles: "That's why I hired ya."

The boy puts his chopsticks down: "I read some of them. She has a really weird sense of humor, her stories are too chaotic and confusing for their own good. Especially 'Prostitutes! Punch! Poltergeists!', feels too much like a hybrid between a Tarantino movie and anime. Sounds great when you put it like that but it's basically no different from biting into a cigarette flavored sushi. And her novels aren't even written in the proper novel format."

The Man stirs his ramen in a contemplating way: "In return for your trouble, I'll cover the financial cost of all your future manga works. I also have connections with Shounen Jump. You aspire to be a mangaka, don't you? I trust that is good payment."

The boy picks his chopsticks back up: "When do we start, sir?"

The Man places a phone on the table: "You start now. Do everything she says. Or the deal's off, ya got that?"

The boy peers down at the phone: "Hmm...?"

Man: "Oh, and one more thing. At the end... when it's getting close to her time..."

The man's lips move as he completes his sentence.

The boy glances at him with an unreadable expression.

-17 Hours Later, Present Time-

Thong Man, still holding the phone on the rooftop: -_-

Kora: "Ok, ok! Next! Next!"

Kora's jovial expression shines through her dying face.

Kora twirls one of her fingers around a tube connected to her veins: "The GPS says there's a neko maid cafe under the building you're standing on! So now I want you to go to that neko cafe and tell everyone you're robbing the whole place up!"

Thong Man hesitantly: "Dressed as this...?"

Kora with a snicker: "Dressed as that! HAHAHAHAHA!"

She tears up from laughter but then stops as she slightly struggles to breathe.

Thong Man glances down at the neko maid cafe.

It's 4 floors below. People flourish around the cafe and a girl dressed as a neko-chan advertises the place with flyers to random passersby.

Thong Man: "Ahh, boy."

Thong Man tucks the phone into the thongs in his belly area.

​​Kora bounces up and down on the hospital bed: "COME ON THONGG MAN! YEEEAAA!! LET'S GOOO!"

She throws a fist to the air with a blush: "YIPPEEEEEE!!!"

Thong Man walks down the stairs of the building and strides towards the neko cafe.

The Neko-chan at the door freezes as she stares him down.

Neko-Chan: "Eh...?"

Thong Man stops in front of the neko-chan and gives her a look then proceeds to enter through the cafe's automatic doors.

The door makes a ringing sound as Thong Man takes his first steps into the cozy bright colored kawaii-styled domain.

Everyone turns to Thong Man as he stands with all his might.

Kora whispers from the phone: "Announce yourself..."

Thong Man poses and flexes: "HELLO, I AM THONG MANN AND I'M HERE TO ROB THIS PLACE UP REAL GOOD!!! HAIYYAAHHH!!"

He quickly stumbles around and makes gun shapes with his hands, pointing at them all with 2 hands.

Kora whispers again: "HEHEHEHE OH! OH! DO A DANCE! DO A ROB DANCE WHILE YA ROB THEM!"

Confused gazes fill the now silenced cafe.

Thong Man: "Ahem... I AM NOW... GOING TO DO MY 'I'M-GONNA-ROB-YA DANCE'!"

A neko-waitress yells out: "HEEEYY!!! IT'S THE NEIGGHBORHOOD THONG THIEF! AIN'T THAT HIM!?"

A woman stands up: "THAT'S MY THONG!!! The one on his face!!!"

A man yells out: "WWAAAIIT THAT ONE'S MY WIFE'S!! THE ONE HE'S WEARING ON HIS ASS!!!"

Thong Man: "...ah, crap."

Thong Man disarms his finger guns: "I'M AFRAID YOU ARE MISTAKEN."

The people in the store angrily stand up and stare him down.

Thong Man: "THAT IS THONG THIEF... I AM THONG MAN! MAAAN!!"

Thong Man: "I... I am..."

A high school girl slams her foot on the table and points at him: "GIRLS!!! GET HIM!!"

THEY BEGIN CHARGING AT HIM!!

Kora enthusiastically cries out: "RUN! RUN THONG MAN! RUN TO THE WILDERNESS!!"

Thong Man quickly grabs one of the neko-girl's cat-ear bands and sprints out: "THONG MAN OUT!!!"

Neko girl holding her head: "HEEEEY MY EARS!"

He runs out of the cafe as his thong-cape flows behind him and slaps the neko-girl in the face!!

Neko-Girl: "WHAT THE SHIT!? FUCKIN' ASSHOLE!!!"

HE RUNS OFF IN HIS THONGY ATTIRE AND HIS 2 EYEBALLS PEER OUT THE PURPLE HEART PATTERNED THONG ON HIS FACE!!!

Thong Man: "THERE, I ROBBED A NEKO CAFE PLACE! YOU HAPPY!?"

Kora: "HEEHHAHHAHHAHAHAHA!!!"

SHE LAUGHS IN TEARS.

​​But soon her laughing turns into coughing blood.

Kora forearm-wipes the blood from her mouth with a smile on her face: "You did great! Retreat into an alleyway somewhere, Thong Man!"

Thong Man cuts abruptly into a dark alleyway beside large garbage cans.

A street cat jolts and runs up the walls and pipes of the alleyway when it spots him.

Thong Man: "Ah man, never thought that was how I'd get chased by girls."

Kora ecstatically: "YOU WERE AWESOME, THONG MAN!!!"

Thong Man does a thumbs up and puts the neko-ears on.

Thong Man: "All in a day's work for Thong Man."

She throws up blood: "BLLEEEEUUUURRRGGH...!!!"

Thong Man: "Ah. Sheesh. You good?"

Kora finishing up her blood puke: "Ok... ok... now! Now's the hardest thing that I'm gonna make ya do! I want you to ask a girl out!"

Thong Man momentarily pauses and looks to the phone: "Not... dressed as this right?"

Kora cheekily smiles at him.

Kora: "Hehehe."

Thong Man: "...right?"

Kora moves her eyebrows up and down: "Fufufu..."

They both pause.

Thong Man: "RIGHT?!"

Kora goes really close up to the camera: "You're thong man aren't ya!?"

Thong Man: ._. "yes."

Thong Man: "Thong Man is Thong Man."

A man's voice echoing from a speaker can be heard from outside the alleyway.

Man yelling through a speaker: "IF ANYONE SEES THE ELUSIVE THONG THIEF, REPORT HIM IMMEDIATELY! WE MUST RID OUR STREETS OF HIM!"

Thong Man peaks at the commotion.

Man continues passionately: ​​"FOR THE SAFETY OF OUR DAUGHTERS AND WIVES! WHEN WE FIND HIM, LET US BURN HIM IN PUBLIC AND-"

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Thong Man: "ah crap."

Thong man looks back at the video call: "How do you expect me to ask a girl out like this?"

Kora: "By askin' her out of course!"

Thong Man blinks.

Kora: "It can be a college girl, a business woman... even an old lady counts!"

Thong Man glances up at the walls of the dark alleyway facing each other: "Alright then..."

...

Thong Man looks down at the phone: "Will you go out with me?"

...

...

Kora: "eh."

...

She looks at the screen with wide eyes.

Thong Man: "Will you go out with me, Kora?"

...

A shallow blush fills her pale face.

Kora: "Wait..."

Thong Man: "You said anyone, and I chose you-"

Kora: "Wa- wait wait! Th- that's cheating!"

She slaps the camera away from her face and it points up randomly at the hospital equipment.

Thong Man has a 10 second silent face-off with the hospital equipment.

Thong Man: "Hello? You good there? We can kiss through the phone if you want."

Soft crying emanates from the other end of the phone.

She hangs up.

...

...

...

Thong Man: "ah... crap."

...

Thong Man immediately begins sprinting out the alleyway into the streets.

He tries calling her back but to no avail as he rushes out, sticking out from the crowd like a shit stain on an unwashed thong from a late night out.

A woman points at him: "THERE HE IS!!"

The mob spots him right away.

Man screams into the speakers with veins bulging on his forehead: "AAAAAHHH SOMEBODY GET THE GASOLINE, I GOT THE LIGHTER!!! COME HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!!"

Various people in the mob start yelling out as they chase him:

"IT'S THONG THIEF GET HIM!!"

"TAKE MY THONG OFF, YOU PERVERT!!"

"LET'S FEED HIM THE THONGS HE STOLE FROM US!!"

Thong man looks back for a moment: "Ah shit! Forgot about these guys!"

EVERYONE CHASES AFTER HIM.

A business woman shouts: "HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY THONG!? I GOT THAT FROM VICTORIA'S SECRET!!"

Thong Man keeps running: "IT'S ALL FOR A GOOD CAUSE!! PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE YOU PSYCHOPATHS!!!"

A honking car violently swerves and drives right at him, attempting to run him over!

Thong Man: "HOLY CRAP!!!"

Thong Man vaults over the car using every bit of his strength as he clenches his face, shits himself a little, and drool flies out his mouth along with a part of his soul.

The woman driving crashes into a corporate building and aggressively spams the car horn: "SHIT!!! ALMOST HAD HIM!!!"

Thong Man cuts a corner to a market place and runs on: "AH SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!"

A guy ambushes him from a corner street and splashes him with gasoline: "TAKE THAT YOU EVIL SPIRIT!!! THIS IS THE RETRIBUTION OF GOD!!!"

Thong Man gets drenched in gasoline as he runs for it: "WHAT THE HEEEECKKK, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!???"

As he runs past an elementary school he spots 5 kids in the playground piercing needles into a Thong Man voodoo doll while keeping creepy eye contact with him.

Thong Man with a disturbed face: "What in the..."

Before he gets a chance to absorb that, he hears a helicopter hovering above him as a reporter holds her headphones and speaks into a mic on the copter.

Thong Man glances up: "Hm!?"

Reporter: "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I AM HERE LIVE IN TOKYO!!! CURRENTLY WITNESSING THE CHASE OF THE ELUSIVE THONG MAN!! THE BRAVE CITIZENS OF THIS CITY HAVE TAKEN IT INTO THEIR OWN HANDS TO BRING HIM TO JUSTICE, THE METHOD THAT THEY HAVE CHOSEN IS THAT OF PUBLIC EXECUTION, THE SETTING ON FIRE KIND!!"

The TV mic picks up Thong Man's distant reaction: "WHAT THE WHAT!!??"

The Reporter listens to her headphones: "WAIT- JUST GOT WORD, WE'RE MAKING IT TO INTERNATIONAL NEWS!! THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE BIGGEST SCALE CHASE IN ALL OF JAPANESE HISTORY!!!"

The camera shakily zooms in, blurs then adjusts into Thong Man sweatily skedaddling for his life.

Thong Man starts breathing heavily. The thong mask on his face is beginning to suffocate him as he spots the hospital building in the distance.

Thong Man becomes frustrated: "Ah screw it... HEY PSYCHOS!!! YOU KNOW WHAT!!? TAKE YOUR FRICKIN' THONGS BACK!!!"

He begins ripping and removing all the thongs off his body like a snake shedding its colorful skin as he continues sprinting through the chaotic metropolitan streets.

The wind carries and showers the mob with thousands of thongs, blinding them as the elusive thong man runs through the doors of the hospital in the commotion and loses the crowd.

Thong Man's thong-mask drifts and falls in front of the hospital entrance.

An 18-year-old naked boy, reeking of gasoline and wearing only 1 thong as underwear runs into the hospital and panically looks around.

He rushes to the receptionist who is absorbed by the television.

Boy in a hurry: "Ahh, hey do you know if there's a girl that's dying today? She's really sick and she's hooked up to all these machines. Her name's Kora!! I don't know the last name!!!"

Receptionist watching the TV: "EH!? Y- YOU'RE THE THONG THIEF FROM THE NEWS!!! AND YOU'RE WEARING MY GRANDMA'S THONG!!!"

Boy slams the counter with his hands: "ANSWER ME WOMAN, WHERE'S KORA!?"

Receptionist ducks in fear: "EEEEHH!?? AA- 202! ROOM 202!"

The naked boy whisks through the air conditioned hallways, up the stairs and to the second floor!

He comes face to face with room 200!

Room 201!

Room 202!

He stops.

The muffled sounds of a TV playing in the room can be heard: "AS OF NOW WE HAVE LOST THE LECHEROUS THONG MAN!! BUT THE PEOPLE AND THE POLICE ARE ON HIS TAIL! AUTHORITIES SAY TO LOCK YOUR DOORS AND YOUR UNDERWEAR DRAWERS FOR NOW!"

The boy opens the door to the dull and somber hospital room.

He sees Kora's 40-year-old father standing next to her bed.

Father: "Oh. It's you."

The naked boy nods.

He then glances over the father and sees Kora breathing her last breaths and watching the TV in amazement with shimmering eyes.

Kora then faintly looks at the boy.

The boy goes up to her bedside and looks into her eyes.

Boy: "Hey, Kora..."

Boy: "You gave me quite the scare there..."

She weakly tears up and smiles a little.

Boy smiles back: "Haven't even gone on our first date yet and already you're making me take my pants off and run naked all over the place."

Kora's tears trickle down her cheeks as she listens.

She opens her mouth.

...

The boy leans in closely.

...

Kora, close to death: "Look what they did to you- Forcing you to strip down to your last thong..."

The boy stands there.

With a focused face, Kora reaches under her hospital gown and fishes out a patterned thong with depictions of sushi and cigarettes on it from in between her legs.

She slides it off her ankles, holds it up and lets it dangle on one finger as she cheekily looks up at him.

The boy is left speechless.

She uses all of her strength to reach up to him and put the thong over his head as a mask.

Kora: "There... That's better, right?"

The boy remains speechless, now with the thong covering his face.

Kora caresses his face: "you-"

Kora: "You really are awesome, Thong Man."

She dies.

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