Chapter 14: 13

***

***

“But, why do you appear in front of me like this?”

Little by little the sadness began to turn into anger. Her teeth were shaking with fear, but Yuri tried not to show it.

“Appearing casually, falling into stupid self-pity.”

“…”

“Now that you say you don’t remember anything.”

He couldn’t even predict what he was going to say to make him feel a little bit better.

“Are you pretending to know nothing?”

He didn’t give Yuri a chance to speak. Aggressive words started pouring out.

“You would have slept without even dreaming. When you slept comfortably, we dreamed that our sister burned to death.”

“….”

“When you live your life casually, we live in our sister’s shadow.”

“I, I really….”

“Shut up. My story is not over yet.”

Adres seemed unable to handle his anger. His face soon began to turn pale. He took a breath. The hand that was holding Yuri’s arm slowly began to lose strength. Yuri’s face soon became contemplative.

Even if it was Yuri who summoned his younger sister, was it Yuri’s fault? Yuri bit his lips. At that time she was only eight years old. She was at an age where she didn’t know what kind of malice there was in this world and what kind of malice her mother had.

But, apparently, she was an accomplice in the murder. For that reason, she decided to accept her future. No matter what happened, she decided to accept the result as calmly as possible.

“Then, I live with the most unhappy, the worst in the world.”

“…”

“It’s not even funny.”

His ridicule shook Yuri.

“Live like that for the rest of your life. I live my whole life unhappily, struggling like that.”

‘Am I obsessed with self-pity?’

In retrospect, it felt like his whole life had been continuously in the water. He never seemed to be breathing properly. Because of that mistake, he couldn’t accept that even if Yuri had to live the life she remembered more painfully.

But his heart was not. He was angry. Yuri wanted to tell him that she had her own life to live with repentance for the rest of her life.

“Oh, no.”

“……What?”

“I, I, I…, I will not live unhappily.”

“What?”

It was hard. There were always scary things, and it was painful to be hated by an unknown person. However, Yuri did not consider herself unhappy.

Instead of crying and angry, tired of her misfortune, Yuri decided to look back at what she had.

The madam who occasionally gave her cookies, and a grandfather who gave her medicine.

“I wouldn’t think I was unhappy…… !”

‘Because no one has everything.’

So Yuri valued them more. Because they were precious, she didn’t think that it was all left as a misfortune.

“Ah, just like the master said…… There must have been times when I, myself, fell into self-pity.”

This short life was too sad for that.

“But…that, I don’t think it’s all misfortune!”

“…. So you are happy?”

“I must have been quite happy….”

“Say it again.”

The price of anger was cruel. The moment his eyes met hers, goosebumps broke out all over her body. Her hands trembled, and her whole body shook so much that her teeth bumped up and down.

‘I’m scared! I want to run away!’

It was a killjoy. It could only unfold if you hated the other person so much that you wanted to kill them. It was something that even an adult male of the same age as Adres could not endure. There was no way that Yuri could withstand that kind of killing.

‘Oh, I shouldn’t have said anything. I should get down on my knees and apologize.’

Yuri wanted to step back. It was different from when she ran away from the monster. But the hand on her shoulder didn’t let her run away. Adres soon turned to Yuri and said in a gloomy voice.

“You killed my sister and see how happy you can be.”

“…”

“You half-b*stard.”

After shoving Yuri, he walked out the door. Soon, there was the sound of a door slamming shut. There was a desk right behind Yuri, so Yuri didn’t fall, but her back hurt when she hit the desk.

‘What happened?’

Yuri closed her eyes. No matter how hard she tried to remember what happened, she couldn’t. The white dress was soaked in ink and began to stain.

****

The body was exceptionally heavy. Yuri thought she would fall asleep right away when she lay down on the bed, but even that was not easy. She had been waking up several times already and falling back to sleep over and over again. It was repeated several times, and she couldn’t even tell if this was a dream or reality. 

‘‘…… Did I really do that?”

She tried to bring back her memories, but she couldn’t remember anything as if something had blocked them all. Yuri closed her tired eyes again. She was also afraid that Adres might come and strangle her.

“Then I……”

Tears began to fall, drop by drop. Although she was not rich, she lived with great pride in living without committing sins. There were times when she thought that the punishment she received because of her mother was unfair.

Yuri was a person. She felt less than others, but it didn’t mean she couldn’t feel anger or pain.

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After crying for a while, Yuri was tired again and closed her eyes. What woke her up was the sound of the tightly closed window opening.

“Who, who…… .”

At the sound of the window, Yuri immediately stood up. Was it the intruder last time? Yuri was startled and pulled the blanket. It was an incident that left her deeply traumatized. Yuri quickly grabbed her neck.

“Who…..”

No one’s voice was heard. Only Yuri’s voice echoed back. She lay down again. Maybe it was because she went through a big ordeal today, so she closed her eyes again. The reality was just painful.

***

As night fell, Yuri was finally able to fall into a light sleep. Through the slightly opened window, a faint moonlight was shining on her.

“who… … .”

When the wind suddenly gently brushed her cheek, Yuri had no choice but to wake up from her slumber. Someone was looking at her from above.

A dog much bigger than a sofa, the dream was clear. Yuri hated dogs. It would have been more accurate to say that she was afraid rather than hated. Ever since she was bitten by a dog when she was a child, Yuri has been afraid of dogs.

“It must be a nightmare.”

She was already asleep and waking up more than seven times. This must have been a dream too. Yuri closed her eyes again.

“… if it’s not a dream?”

The dog opened its mouth and was talking. It was really a dream for a dog to talk. Yuri waved her hand like it was annoying.

“Oh, today… I had a lot of scary dreams.”

“So?”

“Oh, I’m going to bed today…”

Soon Yuri turned to her side. A snoring sound was heard, but the dog decided to ignore it.

“Why were you crying?”

A large red-haired dog’s hand covered Yuri’s face. It looked like he was trying to wipe her eyes, but his hand was so big that it seemed to cover Yuri’s face completely.

“Me…?”

“Yes. You’ve been crying for a long time.”

“I, I didn’t cry.”

“It’s better not to tell lies that will soon be found out.”

He seemed to keep disturbing Yuri from falling asleep. The dog’s thick hand continued to tap her.

“When your father sees this, he must be unhappy.”

“Ah, my father… he hates me.”

“…… your father? I’ve never heard of it.”

“Ha, there’s no way he’d like me.”

Tears started flowing again. Yuri couldn’t even like herself. So her father couldn’t possibly like her. He never once said he liked her.

”That can’t be true.”

“You know…”

“…Yes. Tell me.”

The pillowcase was slowly wet with tears. The big dog sighed once, then patted her on the shoulder with its big paw.

“I, hic, I don’t want to get married… “

“Yeah, that’s right. You’re still young.”

“My father said … let’s live together…”

“Yes?”

“It was all lies.”

That was so scary. Yuri couldn’t continue. To be precise, she was full of tears and no words came out.

“I, ha, actually… it’s really, really hard.”

“Yes.”

“Hic, the young masters……they are scary, oh, it hurts…… .”

“…… Keep talking.”

“Me too, I… … … Oh, it hurts. It hurts.”

He gently patted Yuri. It was the first time someone had listened to a story from the side, so Yuri was slowly pulling out her heart that had been hidden only inside.

“And, the teacher…..hic, she’s scary.”

“… … Yes. And?”

“How can I survive here any longer? …oh, I don’t know.”

At that moment, tears flowed out incessantly. Her nose was starting to get stuffy. It was so unfair that she could hear the congestion, so Yuri wiped her nose roughly.

“Don’t cry.”

The dog’s paws looked like human hands for a moment. Yuri looked at the man who carefully wiped her tears away.

“What is there to be sad about? It must not be your fault.”

At his calm words, the tears began to slowly stop. The man’s face was not visible because of the darkness. Yuri covered her face with a blanket. It was clear that his face wasn’t clearly seen.

“There will be good things in the future.”

“… … How do you know?”

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“Just.”

After that, he patted Yuri for a while. It was a gesture of patting a child to sleep. Was it because she was already sleepy, or was it because of the kind consolation she had received for the first time? Yuri soonfell asleep Thinking that today’s dream wasn’t a bad dream.

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