Chapter 1: YMABLTY Chapter 1

“I have… I have arranged a betro… betrothal for you!” 

The drunk man on the other end of the phone stumbled over his words as he spoke.

“A betrothal?” Gu Wei rubbed his eyes, endured the drowsiness clouding his mind. He turned on the screen of his phone, and saw that the time was only 4:30 in the morning.

The caller on the other end chuckled twice, his drunkenness showing, and continued to slur over his words, “so… son! My son! I ha… have arranged an enga.. engage..ment for you. A good marri… marriage is a blessing that… that… you have cultivated over in eight lifetimes!”

Gu Wei opened the curtains and looked at the pitch-black night sky outside. He felt that he must have cultivated tons of bad karma instead.

Maybe he was a thief. Or an adulterer. Perhaps even a murderer and arsonist.

“Dad… tell me the truth, how much did you drink?”

At 4:30 in the morning, even the chickens were still dreaming – Gu Wei didn’t want to discuss this out-of-nowhere engagement with a drunkard.

His father, Gu Cai, was a screenwriter. When he wrote a script, he was a madman – he would entrenched himself deep into his work and disconnected himself from the outside world. Since he remembered he had a son, he must’ve finished his current script.

“Not much, not much,” Gu Cai babbled, “just two bottles of white wine mixed with some beer. Dad is happy! He finally found someone to take care of you. My colleague, you see, has a son. Her son, like you, doesn’t like girls either.”

“Dad, sober up.” Gu Wei plucked the flowers in the vase by his bedside. “Your son is a traffic star1traffic star means a celebrity who relies on popularity / “traffic”, kinda like, internet-famous. Do you understand what a traffic star is? If I get into a relationship, then my career will be over.” 

He was the main dancer of the popular boygroup T.ATW, a third-tier2he’s only kinda popular, a small-time celebrity traffic star. His popularity was not bad, although a huge chunk of his fandom were his anti-fans. 

He relied on that little popularity to support his career. So should he fall in love right now, then that would be as bad as…

Cutting off his career and killing his parents.

What’s the difference between his father’s arranged betrothal and suicide?

“All of your fans are antis3anti-fans/antis are literally “black powder”. As opposed to “red powder”. “Powder” is a slang for fans anyway, your career is over already,” His dad didn’t mince his words. 

“Anti-fans are still fans. It’s not my fault I’m so unlikable.” As a third-tier traffic star, Gu Wei has a clear understanding of his public image, “tell me the truth, which boy did you get me engaged to?”

Gu Wei had sufficient evidence to suspect that his fiancé does not actually exist.

“It seems, he is called… something-Xun.” Gu Cai was drunk and couldn’t remember clearly, “it seems like this child doesn’t have a proper good job. His mother said that he doesn’t do anything besides playing games every day, but his mom swore he is a good person.”

‘He smokes and drinks and perms his head, but he’s not a bad boy.’ is basically what his dad said.

The logic of a drunkard is truly something else.

“Hurry up, call it off now.” Gu Wei ruthlessly refused, “a traffic star like me can’t fall in love, it’s not part of the job.”

“You add his WeChat later and talk to him! A beautiful love is waiting for you~” Gu Cai’s voice was starting to get unclear due to the bad reception, so Gu Wei didn’t hear what his dad was saying.

Gu Wei hung up the phone, and saw it was already 4:40.  All this talk about a  beautiful “love” that fell from the sky made him unable to go back to sleep.

When it was nearly 5 o’clock, Gu Wei opened his group’s WeChat group, and sent a few good morning greetings.

[Please Give Me Money If You Love Me]: Good morning!

[Please Give Me Money If You Love Me]: I’m full of energy today!

It was still before dawn, so naturally no one in the group responded.

Gu Wei poured himself a glass of water, and felt that he couldn’t get up so early in vain. He opened his Moments, posted a good morning message with a reaction meme commonly used for chatting in the group, a Cheers.jpg.

All his group members – except him – were fans of Jiang Xun, supposedly a great e-sports god. They even organized group trips to watch tournament games Jiang Xun competed in. It was no surprise that they also used a lot of reaction memes involving Jiang Xun, in which Gu Wei saved quite a number of them. 

He had been single for a long time, to the point that he felt Jiang Xun was pretty good-looking when he looked at those memes. 

Gu Wei didn’t watch much e-sports, but he had watched a couple of tournament games with the members of the group. He didn’t know Jiang Xun well; he could only say that he knew of Jiang Xun. But Gu Wei used Jiang Xun’s memes quite a lot, especially when chatting with his friends.

‘The early worms have been eaten by the birds’, he wrote. He attached the AngryJiangXun.jpg meme alongside the message.

‘Didi.’ Someone privately chatted with him, ‘Wake up so early?’

The message came from Chi Yunkai, a member of his boygroup.

[Please Give Me Money If You Love Me]: My dad somehow arranged a marriage for me. I can’t go back to sleep.

[Yunkai Sees Mooncakes]: Then don’t sleep, this ge will show you something exciting.

[Please Give Me Money If You Love Me]: Something exciting?

Chi Yunkai sent a screenshot of a Weibo hot search4Weibo hot search is equivalent to Twitter trending topic. 

Gu Wei quit WeChat, opened Weibo, and sure enough, he and Chi Yunkai hung side by side on the hot search.

#Gu Wei’s Variety Sense#
#Chi Yunkai Steals the Spotlight5the raw is 池云开打c位, or “Chi Yunkai grabs the C position”. C position stands for “center position” aka the main focus. The implication is that Chi Yunkai is an attention whore# 

‘That’s such thrilling news.’ Gu Wei thought as he rolled his eyes. It seems that their reputations were plummeting once again.

Gu Wei has also been scolded6scolded [by the netizen] = flamed/bashed for stealing the spotlight. He was not curious about this, so he opened his own hot search. The top one on the hot search was a video clip, which has just been broadcasted from the variety show “Wandering Together“. 

“Wandering Together” was a travel-focused variety show that Gu Wei has been recording recently. 

In the video clip, seven guests of the wandering group came to the streets of the ancient town of Jiangnan. The gimmick of the show was that they were penniless and had to complete tasks to earn food and lodging. 

The task that Gu Wei had been assigned to was to learn embroidery from a local old lady. In the trending clip, he slammed the embroidery loop to the table with his hand, then ran out from the room while the old lady watched in astonishment. 

At the end of the video clip, a netized added a caption: It’s too difficult! CryCry.jpg

After the latest episode of the variety show was broadcast, it was immediately caught by Gu Wei’s anti-fans. They used it as evidence of his bad personality and disrespect for the elderly. The hard-working netizens forgot the hardships of 9967a slang for working all the time, it stands for working from 9 AM to 9 PM, 6 days a week and worked overtime bashing Gu Wei on Weibo until it got into the hot search. 

You are reading story Your Memes Are Better Looking Than You at novel35.com

Netizen 1: Look at this child. He was too lazy to do real work and endure hardship. Is embroidery even that difficult? He doesn’t even try to pretend to like it.

Netizen 2: Bah. He’s only relying on his popularity to stay afloat. Sooner or later he’ll fall from grace!

Netizen 3: When will T.ATW disband? To our captain Fu Zhi-gege, let’s just go solo, I don’t want to see Gu Wei dragging my gege down anymore.

Between all these scoldings, there were also several real fans of Gu Wei speaking out, trying to placate the masses.

Netizen 4: There may be some special reasons during filming. He is usually a very polite person. This kind of clip can easily lead to misunderstandings if taken out of context. My didi is a very warm person, please try not to misunderstand him.

Netizen 5: Xiao Gu Wei just recently turned 18 years old, he still doesn’t understand many things. We apologize in his stead. Please be more tolerant towards Weiwei.

But those small numbers of fans who helped Gu Wei speak were immediately scolded by angry netizens to the point of losing themselves.

Netizen 7: Passersby8netizen who is neutral, neither his fans nor his anti here, but Gu Wei’s approach about this situation is really unpleasant for me. Even his fans are scolded for defending him… 

Netizen 8: That’s right, that’s right! What did the crew of “Wandering” think at the beginning, casting someone like Gu Wei? Did they just want his traffic regardless of his personality? Gu Wei really doesn’t have a sense of variety show9they are saying that Gu Wei sucks at being entertaining in such show. 

This clip posted by a big V10verified account, they have those checkmark in their name account has been forwarded and commented on tens of thousands of times. It was inevitable that the fact Gu Wei has no sense of variety has become a hot search. 

Gu Wei closed the Weibo interface and became completely awake. He got up from his bed to wash up. When he looked at himself in the mirror, he saw that his eyes were red, obviously due to lack of sleep. 

After he finished washing and getting dressed, he received a call from his manager, Zhao-jie.

“You already woke up?” Zhao-jie said briefly, “have you seen the hot search?”

“I’m up, good morning Zhao-jie,” Gu Wei’s voice was slightly nasal, “I’m sorry.”

The youth’s voice was soft and had no temper, Zhao Ya’s stomach might be full of fire11stomach full of fire = angry / irritated, but she swallowed it down. “The car is downstairs by the dormitory. Hurry up and get ready. The magazine cover’s photoshoot was moved up by an hour. Mu Yue is already waiting for you in the car.” 

“Okay, thank you Zhao-jie!” Gu Wei replied as he looked at the mirror. He simply combed his hair using his finger, put on a coat, then rushed downstairs.

 

 

The studio where the photoshoot was scheduled was located by the river. A nanny car12usually a van. It’s a company-owned vehicle to drive celebrity around parked beside the building, and two people with sunglasses came down, trailed closely by a bodyguard. 

“Ge, don’t you have practice today?” Jiang Ying asked as he took off his sunglasses.

Jiang Xun shook his head. “No, the tournament finished last week. Tomorrow, the team will go to Europe for vacation. I have an exclusive interview today.”

Jiang Xun is the captain of TMW – a star team of the FPS game “Shou Ze13Shou Ze is 守则, roughly means Code of Conduct / Rule”. In the professional league, he already led the team to achieve a number of victories. He is known for his tricky playstyle and decisive tactics. The netizen has christened the title of God Xun to him.  

Jiang Xun’s interview location was near the magazine photoshoot’s studio. A photoshoot was already underway. Jiang Xun planned to ignore it and go straight away, but he stopped when he heard his younger brother Jiang Ying tsk strangely.

Jiang Xun: “?”

“Three o’clock.” Jiang Ying pointed to the direction, “See, that is my nemesis. He has more black materials14controversial photo/gossip/article/etc that led to discourse even compared to me.” 

Jiang Ying had a “nemesis”, Jiang Xun knew that, but he was busy with the team so he barely knew any details about the happenings in the entertainment industry.

Since he bumped into them today, Jiang Xun followed the direction Jiang Ying pointed.

As soon as he saw what his brother pointed at, Jiang Xun stopped in his tracks.

The so-called “nemesis” was in the middle of a photoshoot for the cover of an e-sports magazine. The little star was wearing a camouflage uniform, with two streaks of oil painted on his cheeks. He was leaning on an armored vehicle while carrying a sniper rifle prop on his shoulder. All kinds of cameras around him kept flashing at him, taking numerous pictures.

Jiang Xun’s first impression was that this little star’s eyelashes are quite long, which complemented nicely to his enchanting peach blossom eyes. He also had delicate lips which were slightly raised at the corners, making him look downright adorable. He was charming and good-looking, but not tacky.

The little star looked at the camera and carried the heavy-looking prop gun on his shoulder, trying his best to create a “fierce” look as required by the photographer.

In Jiang Xun’s opinion, this little star was not fierce – he was cute.

“You’re promising.” Jiang Xun joked with a slight smile, “Are underage children now within the range of your nemesis’ suitability?”

“He is eighteen years and one month old, okay?” Jiang Ying, the irritable little brother, was not amused. “It’s all just his baby-face that makes him look cute and well-behaved. But his reputation is even worse than mine.”

Jiang Xun made a noncommittal sound.

“What’s his name?” Jiang Xun asked casually.

“Gu Wei, ‘Gu’ as in retrospect, ‘Wei’ as in the future15顾未，回顾的顾，未来的未, Jiang Ying is telling his brother which character that made up Gu Wei’s name.” Jiang Ying said, “I can’t believe they scheduled my nemesis before my photoshoot.” 

Gu Wei’s eyes were somehow familiar to him, making Jiang Xun think of a game from a long time ago.

At that time, his team had just won seven consecutive victories. One of his teammates pointed to a person in the audience to show him and said—

“That kid has come a few times to our games, always staring at you. He’s definitely your fan.”

The kid wore a hat and a mask, wrapped himself tightly, showing only his eyes. But those eyes were so beautiful, making Jiang Xun constantly search the audience to catch a glimpse of them.

Those bright eyes, Jiang Xun would never forget.

Seeing that his big brother didn’t move for a long time, Jiang Ying retreated, pointed at Gu Wei, and made a conclusion. “So ge, remember his face – your little brother’s nemesis. In this entertainment industry, it’s either me or him that will die. No question asked.”

Jiang Xun nodded with a thoughtful look, “You die then.”

Jiang Ying was stunned, and pointed at himself with horror, “You let me die?!”

‘Who is your brother again??’ 

“Unfortunately, I have to wrong you.” Jiang Xun raised his chin in the direction of Gu Wei, “that kid seems to be my fan, and I always protect my fan.”

Hello, hello! I’m a new translator here! This is an edited MTL, I used a combination of Google Translate, DeepL, a fuckton of dictionary, and my trusty RL friend to translate~

The tentative schedule is twice a week, every Tuesday and Friday starting next week (10 Jan). For every 2 ko-fi donations (6 USD), I will post an extra chapter! Please help me fund my coffee spendings if you can ^^

You can find story with these keywords: Your Memes Are Better Looking Than You, Read Your Memes Are Better Looking Than You, Your Memes Are Better Looking Than You novel, Your Memes Are Better Looking Than You book, Your Memes Are Better Looking Than You story, Your Memes Are Better Looking Than You full, Your Memes Are Better Looking Than You Latest Chapter