Chapter 121: It's Suffocating

He Jin Nan is satisfied after talking a few times with Xia Xiang. He never planned to stay too long, so he directly heads home after lunch. Xia Qi Feng wanted Xia Sha at his office, so the two of them has disappeared. 

Thus, only Pang Ze Tian and Xia Xiang stayed in the big living room. Pang Ze Tian finally didn't have to hide her expression grunted. Her face is so dark that they could squish ink. 

"Stupid girl! Do you know what have you done?" she glares sharply at Xia Xiang. 

Xia Xiang held the present her father bought for her and lost it in a daze. She can't even hear her mother's distress. Only when Pang Ze Tian seize the present from her hand she collected herself. 

"Mom!" She furrowed her eyebrow and sounds annoyed. 

"You dare to call me mom after what you've done?"

"What have I done?" Xia Xiang did not understand why Pang Ze Tian is so angry. 

In the past, Xia Xiang never dare to question her father's whereabouts because she is afraid that he a poor, tasteless man. Pang Ze Tian said she should be grateful Xia Qi Feng wanted to adopt her as his daughter, else she would be an ordinary girl who can't even go to university. 

This word has scared the little Xia Xiang. 

She thought her father's future is a dark hallow pit. She is lucky her mother crawl all away up to be Xia Qi Feng's second wife. Else, she would be a pitiful, hopeless young lady.

But today she found out that her father has some money and his appearance is outstanding. She suddenly can't understand her mother's measurement for a bright future. 

"You! Don't you know your father is dissatisfied with your barbaric action today? You should be fawning over him! But what did you do? Instead of gaining Xia Qi Feng's affection back, you would rather find out about that poor rat!" 

Xia Xiang listened to Pang Ze Tian's shallows words and scoffed. 

"Poor rat? Although my father is not as rich as your husband, he should have enough to send me to university. Instead, living in this house makes me feel like I'm a rat!" Xia Xiang subconsciously raised her voice and shouted at Pang Ze Tian. 

Pang Ze Tian could not believe the words Xia Xiang just spoke. She rose from her seat and with disbelief eyes. She opens her mouth and failed to spoke every time because she is too angry. 

"What? Did I say something wrong? You might become Mrs. Xia's seat, but you can't even take down Shen Xia Fei's portrait," Xia Xiang pointed at the wall where Shen Xia Fei is boarding a smile exceeding her perfect elegance. 

"Xia Xiang! How could you-"

"I'm stating the truth. You asked me to be Xia Qi Feng's favorite. But I can't! I can't I fought with his blood. No matter how hard I try, he will never love me as he loves Xia Sha. Instead, Xia Sha is right. She keeps telling me over and over again. But your stupidity blinded me. How could I stay here for so long if I knew my father is doing so well outside?"

"Your father? Your father? Your only father is Xia Qi Feng! Did you think you can live this well because of him? How dare you call that man your father. From you born until now, did he ever feed you once?"

"That is because you did not let him! He looks like a great father. I start to wonder why did you leave him? Only because Xia Qi Feng has a lot of money and comes from high society?" 

PLAK!

A loud sound of slapping revibrated through out the big house. Xia Xiang touched her right cheek. The unwanted tears started forming below her eye socket. 

"Unfilial! How can you said that to your mother?" Pang Ze Tian shouted. Her hand is still trembling with pain when her eyes met Xia Xiang's eyes. For the first time since she was born, Xia Xiang look at her with this look. 

That is a look full of hatred. 

Pang Ze Tian never felt her heart as painful as today. No matter how others have looked down on her, she stays still. She holds on and accepts all the mockery for her daughter. But today, her dear daughter, who she sacrificed for judging her, how should she react? 

She felt devastated, and yet she has no purpose for staying still anymore. 

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"I'm sorry for being unfilial. But I felt suffocated! All of my life, I've tried to tell myself that good things come with a price. But it suffocating and slowly eating me," Xia Xiang sobbed while touching her right cheek.

"From the first time we enter this house, everything is about Xia Sha and Shen Xia Fei. Xia Sha can do this, Xia Sha can do that, Shen Xia Fei like this, Shen Xia Fei like that. We have been living in their shadow like a rat. We just too proud to realize that!" 

"Do you know how grateful I was when Xia Sha bought dad to the manor? The first thing that comes to my mind is, I have my own father. I didn't have to steal it from Xia Sha anymore. Now that I recall it, I've realized how pathetic I was," she grieved and hit her own chest to ease the pain. 

"Why did I need to steal everything from Xia Sha? Why can't I have my own life?" She asked Pang Ze Tian, whose all body trembles as she watched Xia Xiang's breakdown into tears. 

"It's suffocating," she cried in a low voice. It's so painful that she finds it hard to breathe. 

She approached Xia Xiang before she pulls her into a motherly hug. They cried together as Pang Ze Tian began to whisper how sorry she was. 

"I apologize to you. It's all my sin. It's all my fault," She rocked her back and forth. Xia Xiang howled in her embrace, feeling guilty for lashing out. The outburst comes so sudden. She also can't understand why she can't control her emotion nowadays. 

It's like somebody has possessed her mind and make her go wild. Her mind went blank before that thirst and 'needing' feeling come back. Her mind hooked on the certain pills Meng Ran used to give her lately. 

She needs that! With that pills, she felt revived. It can help her ease the pain. Right, it could help her control her rationality. Her eyes went dark as the longing feeling consume her. 

*** 

Xia Qi Feng and Xia Sha could hear Pang Ze Tian and Xia Xiang's voice from the office. They both listened with a flat expression and did not express their opinion. Xia Sha carefully observing her father's face as the shouting voice ended. 

"You knew they were using you, but you don't do anything about it," Xia Sha smirked at her father. 

Xia Qi Feng shrugs his shoulder indifferently. He frowned, "What exactly do you want to know? You don't need to go till this length for a confirmation, right?" 

"I just curious. Why did you marry Pang Ze Tian if you don't love her?" 

The legendary story about Xia Qi Feng's deep love for Pang Ze Tian is widely known by everyone. For Pang Ze Tian, he divorces Shen Xia Fei, his girlfriend from high school, and even adopt her daughter. 

This gossip always hurt Xia Sha, but now she opens her eyes widely and sees things clearly, she realized something. Xia Qi Feng did not really care about Pang Ze Tian. 

It almost looks like a one-sided love story where Pang Ze Tian keeps trying to win Xia Qi Feng's heart. 

"I didn't?" he raised his eyebrow. 

Xia Sha rolled her eyes lazily, she didn't need to state the proof one by one right. From capther one until now, all reader has realized her father still have a feeling for Shen Xia Fei and did not really love her second wife. 

But why did he put this facade on? 

Seeing Xia Sha put on her stubborn look, Xia Qi Feng knew she wouldn't leave before she heard something that could change her mind. He sighed. 

"I've told you the reason before. Your mother has hurt me a lot with her affair. My whole world was crumbling down that night. So I choose to drink my pain away. Stupid. I knew. Pang Ze Tian worked at that nightclub where I drink my sorrow away, rest I don't think you should hear it," Xia Qi Feng calmly censored the story for sake of Xia Sha's purity.

Xia Sha was grateful for that. She did not think she could take another blow after Xia Xiang beat her up. 

"So you decided to marry her? because you sleep with her?" Xia Sha asked even though she felt uncomfortable to mention this. 

"I did not sleep with her that night. My body is drunk, but my mind is more than sober. I could not bring myself to betray your mom, even though she betrayed me." 

Xia Sha's eyes flare up at the new information she heard. She felt her soul just left her body as she blinked and weakly asked, "So why did you marry her....?"

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