Chapter 122: Carry It Alone

Xia Sha watched Xia Qi Feng's eyebrows shift slightly. He seems in deep thought to answer Xia Sha's questions. The longer Xia Sha looks at him, the more she realized Xia Qi Feng, her father, has grown old. 

Suddenly days when she likes to rebel against Xia Qi Feng pass her mind. She even makes him so agitated that he got hospitalized. A lot of bad things have happened in their father and daughter relationship. 

Xia Sha's heart suddenly gets sour. 

Apart from short temper and could be a muddlehead sometimes, Xia Qi Feng is a good guy. For example, he protected Xia Sha from Grandfather's Xia suppression. 

He is even nicer and smarter during his days with Shen Xia Fei. It's a public secret that Xia Qi Feng has a setback after divorce. 

Xia Sha has always hated him for betraying her mother. He ruined the family and destroyed her happiness. But turn out, he did not even sleep with Pang Ze Tian? What a joke!

Shen Xia Fei once said that although Xia Sha's appearance looks like her. But in terms of behavior, she has Xia Qi Feng's temper and habits. 

She secretly admits this when she grew up later. Most of the time, she could understand her father's thoughts even though his decisions sound wrong or weird in other people's eyes. It might because they share the same traits that she could understand his mind. 

However, this time, she can't seem to fathom his thought. 

He did not cheat and certainly did not love Pang Ze Tian. But why marry her? 

"Is it for revenge? You only want to hurt mother because she has hurt you?" 

That sounds like something that she would do. She tried to put herself into Xia Qi Feng's shoes. And see things from a different perspective. 

Xia Qi Feng's face turns cold. He knew how people talk about him behind his back. He also realized, without knowing the whole truth, he appears like the fool outside.

But when Xia Sha said directly and straightforwardly, it sounds even more swallow than the voice inside his thought. He lowered his face, ashamed of himself. 

"Yes," he throws a blunt lie while blinking his eyes. 

"If it's true, from the way that I see is that you give yourself punishment rather than having revenge at mother," Xia Sha touched her forehead. Her sight is slightly blurry because of her father's contradictory words.

She can't even know what to believes anymore.

"Xia Sha, something was beyond our control. Our family problem that year, divorce is the best solution for everyone," Xia Qi Feng end his word with a heavy breath. 

"Certainly not the best solution for me. I don't understand. Both of you decided to divorce because of a mere misunderstanding, then what did you two take me as? A joke?"

People say a child is living proof of their parent's love. She likes to believe it this way since they keep telling her how they love her. 

But, what is this?

Her father thought her mother is cheating with young meat behind his back. Mother thought father cheated with Pang Ze Tian and had enough when he took her back to the manor. 

Yet, both of them say they did not cheat. 

She closes her heavy eyelids and tried to regain her composure. She must remember what Guan Xian had said, to heal is to let your heart went through the same pain and learn to accept it. 

Heartache and trauma were Just like an ugly scab. If one did not handle it carefully, the scar would last long. However, people tend to ignore this scab inside their hearts, making it ugly. If it stays for too long, the only way to remove this scab is to pry it open before treating the wound properly. 

Xia Sha, who takes good care of her appearance, certainly did not want to has this scab inside her heart. 

"You knew that both of us love you," Xia Qi Feng's eyes turn gloomy. He sounds hurt that Xia Sha asked that question.

Xia Sha went silent for a while. Although this matter is unsettled for now, she wants to believe Xia Qi Feng's last words. She wants to believe Xia Qi Feng and Shen Xia Fei love her, despite their divorce. 

As the matter of why did they divorce, she might never find it out from Xia Qi Feng. So she carries on to her other question. 

"So why did you marry Pang Ze Tian? Just- Why do you need to take this ridiculous plan seriously and drag this for so long?" Xia Sha felt unspeakably sad inside. She is so angry that she could not even shout anymore. 

Xia Qi Feng went tight-lipped. His action showed that even though Xia Sha tortures him today, she could not squeeze this information out of his mouth. 

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"She needs helps. She works as a hostess. She needs money and home and could provide that. I need someone to make your mother jealous. She could prove that. Our needs meet, thus everything happens."

"He Jin Nan has money," Xia Sha snaps. 

"He didn't, at that time." 

Every gesture and movement Xia Qi Feng shows is unnatural. Xia Sha knew that Xia Qi Feng is lying when he avoids Xia Sha's glance and calmly controls his expression. 

But his eyes spoke differently. It was dark yet alive. Xia Qi Feng let silence filled the room for a moment before every thought and memory inside his mind turned into a heavy sigh. 

"We cannot change the past. We can only live well in the future. You-" He looks at bruised all over Xia Sha's body in distress. 

"Don't do this again, okay? Your mother would blame me for not taking care of you if you come home all black and blue like this. If you need to find out something, I'll try my best to tell you. Don't disregard your body like this-"

Xia Sha looks at her father with a puzzled look. 

"You meant I deliberately let Xia Xiang beat me up just to make you open your mouth?" Xia Sha raised her eyebrow in amusement. 

"You do that once," Xia Qi Feng mumbles, his mind recalling Xia Sha's dark days in the past. 

She has done everything to frame Xia Xiang to make Xia Qi Feng hates that witch. She thinks her father has divided his love for her. In everybody's eyes, she has turned into an evil-stepsister. 

Xia Sha rolls her eyes at that thought. Matter of evil and good is not human's authority to judge. But evil-stepsister? she refuses to acknowledge that title even though she might or might not has torture Xia Xiang in the past. 

She will never become Xia Xiang's sister!

"I played a childish prank on her. She tried to kill me today." Xia Sha stretched her neck and pointed out the wound Xia Xiang left on her body. Seems like Xia Qi Feng's anger has despite a lot. She wonders what Pang Ze Tian said to calm him down. 

Seeing Xia Qi Feng about to say something to defend Xia Xiang, Xia Sha waved her hand and scoffed. 

"Forget it. I don't need you to get back to her. I'll make sure she gets what she deserves later. I could never win in this house," she murmured the last sentence to criticize Xia Qi Feng's unfairness.

Xia Qi Feng's face is as calm as the dead sea. He knew he is unfair and biased. But he never let others wronged his daughter. And Xia Sha could see this through his action. 

Xia Sha talks about several matters and tries to dig another secret, but she quickly gives up when he keeps dodging her question. In the end, they only talk about unimportant matters before she bragged about Shen Xia Fei's heavenly cooking.

This makes Xia Qi Feng felt slightly jealous. Shen Xia Fei's cooking still, and always be his favorite food in the world. But seeing Xia Sha looks so happy, he also felt relief. 

The most important thing is both of them living well. 

Matter of divorce, better to keep it for Xia Sha forever. 

He wanted Xia Sha to carry on the ambitious carrier she always dreams of and live a carefree life. The more she knew about the reason, the more worries she will burden her small shoulder. 

This big cross, let him, the head of the family, carry it alone. 

Although people might see him as the black sheep or one with bad eyesight, at least he keeps everyone in one piece until this day. At least he could see her be happy and lead a beautiful life. 

As Xia Sha happily chattering, his right-hand open his lower drawer and pulls out the paper. A faint smile appears on his face when he read the report. It's only a lousy paper, but it's that paper makes him felt the happiest as well as the most miserable man in this world. 

Report of Kidney Transplant Surgery

Patient: Shen Xia Fei

Donor: Pang Ze Tian

Status: Succeed

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