Chapter 2: The Explosive Child

(Please do tell me what you think of this book so far. Also if you want to see what Female Smaug kinda looks like go check out the first art chapter in my Dragon Maid S book, it'll be towards the end/middle.)

It's around noon and Kazuma is up looking down to a weird sight. Smaug and Aqua are still sleeping but, Smaug's tail is wrapped around Aqua's arm and Aqua's foot is on Smaug's face. Both are snoring.

"This isn't how I imagined life in a parallel world would be. Income is unstable for a beginner adventurer, so sleeping in a stable is normal..." Kazuma talks to himself.

Aqua rolls around and rolls onto Smaug.

"Now that I think about it, adventurers are basically insignificant, job-hopping part-timers. Job-hoppers can't even afford to stay in hotels in a place as affluent as Japan." Kazuma is still talking to himself. "Minimum wage? Fair labor standards? What are those? Are they tasty?"

He hears two yawns and looks down to see Aqua and Smaug waking up.

"Good morning." Both Aqua and Smaug say.

Then they notice their predicament. 

"Why are you on me!" Smaug yells at Aqua.

"I'm not on you! And why is your tail wrapped around me!" Aqua yells at Smaug.

"Get off me, you useless Goddess!" 

"let go of me, You stupid dragon!"

They both continue to yell at each other and Kazuma facepalms. 

'It's like this almost every morning.' Kazuma thinks to himself. 

Then he hears screaming and sees Aqua and Smaug pulling on each other's hair.

Then there's a loud bang on the wall and the two stop moving.

"Will you two shut up! You wanna get walloped?!" A voice yells from the other side of the wall.

"W-We're sorry!" Aqua and Smaug yell as they get off each other.

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Kill Quest

Defeat 5 "Giant Toads"
In 3 Days

On rolling green hills a screaming Kazuma is running from a Giant Toad.

"Save me, Aqua! Smaug! Save me-" The toad lands behind him and he falls forward. "Whoa!" 

Aqua and Smaug laugh.

"Oh, man, this is hysterical!" Aqua laughs.

"You're afraid of a frog!" Smaug laughs. "This is the best thing I've ever seen!"

Smaug and Aqua are both watching from a distance. Smaug looks to the giant toads.

'They barely look like they can do a thing. Even though their meat eaters.' Smaug thinks to herself.

"Kazuma!" Aqua yells to him. "If you want me to save you, why don't you start by adding 'San' to the end of my name?!"

Kazuma is still running from a Giant Toad.

"Aqua-sama!" Kazuma yells.

Aqua crosses her arms.

"I guess I have no choice. I'll help you out, you shut-in NEET!" Aqua yells to Kazuma. "In return, you'd better worship me from tomorrow onward!"

The Giant Toad stops and looks to Aqua.

"What are you gonna do?" Smaug asks Aqua. "Your a useless Goddess."

Aqua pouts.

"I'll show you my real power, then you'll also be worshiping me." Aqua says to Smaug.

Smaug looks to the side then he starts backing away from Aqua.

"When we get back to town, you'll both join the Axis Sect and pray to me three times a day. At meal time, when I say 'Gimme,'" The Giant Toad looms over Aqua. "you'll both hand over your food without resistance." The toad opens its mouth. "And-"

The toad clamps down on Aqua.

"Wow, so that's how you shut her up." Smaug says as she watches Aqua get eaten.

Kazuma then runs towards the Toad.

"Don't get eaten!" Kazuma yells.

---

"KONOSUBA!" Smaug yells.

----

Smaug is poking a dead Giant toad with a stick as Kazuma is off to the side with a slime covered and crying Aqua.

"Good thing the frog stopped moving around while it was eating you."

Aqua looks up to him.

"Thank you, Kazuma!"

Aqua hugs Kazuma. "Thank you! Thank you so much!"

'She smells disgusting!' Kazuma yells in his head. Then he pushes Aqua off him. "Um, let's head back for today. These guys are more than we can handle."

'Says you. I can probably kill these things in one hit.' Smaug thinks in her head,

"Let's do this after we get more equipment together."

Aqua stands up. "I'm all dirty now. If the followers of Axis see me sullied like this, I'll lose their devotion! If it gets out that I backed down from a lowly frog, the name of the beautiful and stunning Aqua-sama will fall by the wayside!"

Then Aqua turns around and spots another frog. she gets angry and gives a war cry as she charges at it.

"Hey! Wait, Aqua!" Kazuma yells at her.

"Feel the power of the gods!" Aqua angrily yells. "Regret that you ever stood in my path and bared your fangs at the gods, and repent in the pits of Hell!" Aqua pulls her fist back and a golden magic surrounds it. "God Blow!" Aqua puts her fist forward. "'God Blow' is a lethal fist that carries a goddess's rage and sorrow! Any it strikes will perish!"

Aqua punches the toad, but it does absolutely nothing.It was like a baby punching a tree. Aqua looks up to it and smiles.

"N-Now that I have a good look at you, I think frogs are pretty cute."

The toad opens it's mouth and eats her.

Kazuma screams. "Aqua!"

Smaug is eating a raw toad leg and watches as Kazuma runs towards the toad eating Aqua.

Today's Results

2 Giant Toads Killed.

10,000 Eris Earned!

That night at the guild. The group of three are eating at a table. With Kazuma and Smaug on one side and Aqua on the other. 

Smaug reaches for a pint of bear, but Kazuma stops her and she glares at him.

Aqua slams her fists on the table. "There's no way the three of us can take them on alone."

Kazuma points his thumb at Smaug.

"Big Breasts over here didn't do anything." Kazuma says.

"Hey! It's Miss Big Breasts to you!" Smaug retorts.

"Enough!" Aqua yells. "Let's recruit more allies!

"5,000 eris per frog..." Kazuma states as he holds up some frog meat. "We risked our lives and earned no more than part-time construction work pays."

Smaug shoves her entire plate of food into her mouth. Aqua takes a nibble of the frog meat.

"This is surprisingly tasty." Aqua states. "It's a little tough, but the texture's quite nice."

"You say 'Allies,' but we're beginners with no decent equipment. Do you really think anyone will party up with us?"

Smaug downs a mug of juice.

"Who wouldn't?" Smaug says.

The Aqua speaks with a mouth full of food. "Yeah, she's righ-"

Kazuma interrupts her. "Swallow your food! Swallow your food, then talk!"

Aqua swallows her food and drinks some ale from her pint.

"I'm an arch priest, the most advance job there is!"

"But, I'm a Dragon-" Smaug starts but Aqua sticks a frog leg into her mouth and she stops talking.

Aqua Continues. "Anyone would kill to have me in their party!" 

Smaug comps on the frog leg and listens and Kazuma looks at Aqua like she's an idiot.

"If I offhandedly decided to recruit members, there'd be tons of people saying, 'Please! take me with you!'" Aqua grabs a frog leg off of Kazuma's plate. "Now that we've got that straight, hand me another piece of fried frog!"

"Oh?"

The Next Day

The three are sitting at a bench, Smaug is slightly pissed as Aqua's sitting on her lap.

"Nobody's coming." Aqua states.

Smaug's right eye twitches. "Then you can get off my lap?"

Aqua shakes her head. "This is punishment for calling me useless. And for taking my seat."

Smaug groans and strokes her tail.

A few hours later.

The group is sitting at a table, Smaug is resting her head on her arms.

"Hey, let's lower the bar a little." Kazuma says to Aqua. "Recruiting only members in advanced jobs is way too strict."

Tears form in the corners of Aqua's eyes. "But...But..."

"At this rate, not a single person will come. I mean, you might have an advanced job, but I'm still in the weakest. I'll feel ashamed if I'm completely surrounded by the elite."

A new voice speaks up. "I happened to notice your recruitment poster."

The three look and see a child? 

The girl laughs. "That we would meet is a fate chosen by the world itself. I have anxiously awaited the arrival of those such as yourselves."

The girl does a few poses.

"My name is Megumin! My calling is that of an arch wizard, one who controls explosion magic, the strongest of all offensive magic!"

Smaug blinks a few times. 

'I have the sudden urge to call this child mine and spoiler her.' Smaug thinks. 'It feels weird.'

Kazuma sweat drops. "Um..."

"Do you, too, desire my forbidden strength, which is so almighty, I've been ostracized by the entire world?" Megumin says.

"Huh?"

"Then show me thine resolve to peer into the ultimate abyss with me! When man stares into the abyss, the abyss stares back."

It's silent for a few seconds.

"Are you just here to poke fun at us?" Kazuma asks Megumin.

"N-No!"

Aqua then notices something.

"That red eye... Are you a crimson demon?"

Megumin does another pose.

"Indeed! I am Megumin, user of the finest magic crimson demons possess! My lethal magic demolishes mountains, smashes boulders..."

Megumin collapses onto the floor and Smaug's tail mimics an exclamation mark and she stands up and moves around the table and crouches down to her.

"Are you okay?" Smaug asks.

Megumin's stomach growls.

"I haven't eaten anything in three days. Do you have anything I could eat?"

"Yes, of course! I'll-" Smaug starts but Kazuma pulls her away from Megumin.  

"I don't mind treating you, but what's with the eyepatch?" Kazuma asks and points to Aqua. "If you're injured, why don't we have her heal you? Her one strong suit is healing magic."

Smaug laughs at her and Aqua becomes angry.

"My 'one'?!"

"This is the magic item that suppresses my might magical powers." Megumin tells them as she stands up. "If I were ever to take this off, a great catastrophe would surely befall this world..."

"So it's like a seal?" Kazuma Asks. 

"Well, that was a lie. I just wear it for looks."

Kazuma grabs the eyepatch and pulls it back.

"Kazuma!" Smaug yells.

"I'm sorry! Please don't pull on it!" Megumin begs. "Stop... Stop it!"

Megumin keeps begging. 

"You know, crimson demons are born with high intelligence, and possess magical powers. Generally, they're all expert magicians, and all have weird names." Aqua informs Kazuma. 

"Oh?"

"Kazuma! Stop torching her!" Smaug yells.

Kazuma lets go of the eyepatch and it flies back and hits Megumin in the eye with a loud snap.

"Ow! My eye!" Megumin yells in pain and Smaug goes over to her.

"Sorry." Kazuma apologies and Smaug glares at him. "I thought you were making fun of us. You were talking gibberish and gave us that weird name."

Megumin looks at Kazuma with a glare.

"Calling my name weird is rude. From my point of view, it's everyone else in town who has a weird name."

Aqua and Kazuma stare at her.

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"By the way, what are your parents' names?" Kazuma asks.

Megumin does a couple of poses. "My mother is Yuiyui and my father is Hyoizaburo!"

Aqua and Kazuma just stare at her and Smaug is confused by the names.

Kazuma looks to Aqua. "So this girl's clan has a lot of good magicians, right?"

"Hey! If you've got something to say about my parents' names, let's hear it!"

----

"Hyoizaburo!" Megumin yells.

-----

Megumin is eating some food as Smaug sits next to her with a smile on her face.

Aqua and Kazuma are looking at Megumin's adventurer card.

"Adventurer cards can't be forged." Aqua tells Kazuma. "She's an arch wizard for sure. It's an advanced job that commands powerful offensive magic!"

"Yeah, this girl's magic stat is high..." Kazuma says.

"Also, if she really can use explosion magic, then that's amazing!" Aqua says with excitement. "It's the most advanced attack magic there is!"

Megumin swallows her food. "Hey, don't call me 'this girl' and 'she.' I'd prefer you called me by name." Megumin takes a big bite of a sandwich.

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Kill Quest

Quest Progress 2/5
Defeat 5 "Giant Toads" In 3 Days

Aqua, with a staff, Kazuma, with a sword and Smaug, with um.... Smaug! are all standing behind Megumin.

"Explosion magic is the strongest magic." Megumin explains. "But that also means it takes time to prepare."

Megumin points her staff at a Giant Toad.

"Please keep that frog at by until my preparations are complete."

Kazuma pulls out his sword. "Right. I'll do it."

Aqua then looks to her right and spots another toad. She points at it.

"Kazuma, Smaug, there's another over there!"

A toad is jumping towards them.

"Two at once?" Kazuma asks.

"Make that three." Smaug says as she points towards another hopping towards them.

Kazuma looks to Megumin. "Target the frog in the distance with your magic."

Megumin readies her staff. "Understood."

Smaug cracks her neck. "I got this one over here.

"As for the last one..." Kazume looks to Aqua. "Hey, let's go, Aqua. You are a former something-or-other, right? Show off some of your former ability."

"What do you mean 'former'?! I am a goddess! Present tense!"

"Goddess?" Megumin asks.

"Don't worry about it, sweetheart." Smaug says. "The blue haired idiot hit her head a little too hard. It's just sad so don't mind her."

"How sad..."

Aqua begins to cry. "Wh-What?! These frogs may be strong against physical attacks, but this time for sure..." Aqua charges towards a toad. "Watch this, Smaug! I'll show you the powers of a goddess today for sure!"

Smaug facepalms and groans. 

"Tremble before me and fall asleep! God Requiem!" Magic forms on the tip of her staff and she points it forward as she runs. "'God Requiem' is a goddess's requiem of love and sorrow! Any it strikes will perish!"

Aqua reaches the toad but it just eats her. Such a useless goddess, only good for toad bait.

"That's a goddess for you." Kazuma says to Smaug and she nods. 

"She put her life on the line to buy us time." Smaug says.

Suddenly a small gust of wind blows on them and big amounts of magical energy forms behind them. They turn around to Megumin to she her chanting her spell.

'Why do I have a bad feeling?' Smaug asks herself in thought.

"Darkness blacker than black and darker than dark, I beseech thee, combine with my deep crimson. The time of awakening cometh. Justice, fallen upon the infallible boundary, appear now as an intangible distortion! Dance, dance, dance! I desire for my torrent of power a destructive force: a destructive force without equal! Return all creation to cinders, and come from the abyss! This is the mightiest means of attack known to man, the ultimate attack magic! Explosion!"

Everything glows brightly as a pillar of fire descends from the sky and strikes the frog, leaving nothing but a crater.

Smaug's jaw drops. "Oh, my me."

"So this is magic?" Kazuma asks.

The ground shakes near Smaug and she looks to see her frog nearby.

"My turn!"

Smaug begins to run at the frog and she looks to the side and sees Megumin laying face first on the ground.

"Hold on, Megumin! let me deal with this and I'll be right there!"

Smaug pulls her first back. 'Okay, I don't know any of the spells that I should thanks to Aqua. But here we go, just think of something!' "Dragons fist of Flame!" A bright red and orange fire surrounds Smaug's hand and she laughs. "I did it!" 

She then reaches the frog and punches it full force with a flaming fist. The impact dirt to kick up and once it clears we see a dead frog on the ground with a giant burn mark on its stomach. 

Smaug throws her arms up in the air and jumps around in excitement.

Boing
Boing
Boing

"Did anyone see that!" Smaug says with excitement.

A thud lands next to Smaug and a large shadow covers her. She turns to the side and a giant toad is right next to her.

"Except you."

The Toad opens its mouth and eats Smaug.

Today's Results

Successfully? Defeated 5 total
Killed 3 Giant Toads

QUEST COMPLETE

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The group enters the town. Kazuma is at the front leading the group while Smaug is carrying Megumin on her back, both are covered in slime with a slime covered and crying Aqua follows them.

"I stink.... I stink..." Aqua says while crying.

"The inside of a frog stinks, but it feels nice and warm..." Megumin says.

"That's information i didn't need to know." Kazuma says to Megumin.

"They taste surprisingly good for how bad they smell." Smaug states says while chewing something in her mouth.

The group stops walking and Kazuma looks to Megumin. "You're banned from using explosion magic, except in emergencies. Just do your best with some other magic from now on."

"I can't." Megumin states.

"Huh?"

"I can only use explosion magic. I can't use any other type of magic."

"For real?"

"For real."

A lady runs past them while cashing ducks.

"Huh?" Aqua asks. "If your level is high enough to use explosion magic, shouldn't you be able to use other magic, too? Even I didn't learn all the arch priest spells until after I learned the part trick skills."

'Wait, I can just learn the spells like that?' Smaug thinks. 'Well, damn, we better hurry this up so I can learn my magic!'

"What the heck would you use 'party trick' skills for?" Kazuma asks Aqua.

"I'm an arch wizard who loves explosion magic above all else." Megumin tells Aqua. "I don't like any other magic in the detonation family." Megumin chokes Smaug a little. "I only like explosion magic! I could, of course, easily go on adventures if I learned other magic, but that just won't do! I only love explosion magic! Even if only one use per day is my limit, or I collapse after using my magic, explosion magic is still the only magic I'll ever love!" She puts an arm up and looks to the sky. "After all, I chose the path of an arch wizard-" She turns back to Aqua. "Solely so I could use explosion magic!"

"Wonderful! Simply wonderful!" Aqua says. "Inefficient though it is, I'm moved by your romantic pursuit!"

"I see!" Kazuma says with a surprising amount of happiness. "I'm sure the path ahead of you will be thorny, but do your best! Once we reach the guild, we'll split the reward evenly, then when we get a chance, let's meet up somewhere-"

Smaug holds onto Megumin tightly and they both glare at Kazuma.

"My only desire is to use my explosion magic." Megumin tells Kazuma. "I'd be fine with going unpaid if need be. Yes, an arch wizard's mighty power can be yours, for the low cost of food and sundries!"

"It's perfect, Kazuma!" Smaug yells. "Can we please keep her! She'll be like my child!"

"No, no, no." Kazuma says while he tries to take Megumin off of Smaug's back. "Such mighty power would be wasted on a puny party of novice adventurers like us."

Megumin holds onto Smaug tighter and Smaug does the same with Megumin.

"No, no, no." Both Smaug and Megumin yell.

"It's fine, even if you are puny or novices! I have an advanced job, but I'm only level six."

"Please, Kazuma. We shouldn't let this opportunity get away from us!" Smaug pleads. 

"No, no, no, no." Kazuma yells again. "What kind of magician can only use a spell once a day?!"

Kazuma pulls on Megumin harder, but she and Smaug won't let go of each other. Aqua is just standing to the side, being useless...again.

"Hey, let go!" Kazuma yells. "You got dumped by another party, didn't you?! I said let go! Heck, if we go into a dungeon, there won't be enough room to use explosion magic! You get more useless by the second!" 

Some slime flies from the two girls and into Aqua. "Hey, stop! You're getting it on my face!"

Kazuma is still struggling to take Megumin off of Smaug's back.

"No other parties will take me anymore!" Megumin yells. "I'll carry your stuff, or whatever else you need! I'm begging you! Please don't abandon me!"

Some civilians are nearby watching the whole thing.

"How awful. That man's going to abandon a little girl!"

Kazuma stops.

"And he's got the girl covered in snot beside him."

"And I bet that woman carrying her is her mother and he's trying to make her abandon her."

"Toying with such a little girl, then discarding her? What a scumbag!"

"Look! Those three girls are all slimy!"

The two other ladies cover their eyes and cry out.

"What sort of acts did that pervert perform on them?!"

"I-It's not like that!" Kazuma yells.

Magumin and Smaug look to each other and gain evil smile then they look to Kazuma and he sweats.

"No, please don't take my baby girl away from me!" Smaug shouts. "Just do whatever erotic acts you like just leave her alone!"

"Please don't make mommy endure that slimy act you used with those frogs!" Megumin shouts out.

The ladies cry out and cover their ears.

Kazuma yells and covers their mouths. "All right, I get it! Glad to have you aboard!"

---

"KONOSUBA!" Kazuma yells with an annoyed tone.

---

The girls wash themselves and Kazuma meets up with Smaug at the guild. They head over to Luna and turn in their quest.

"I've confirmed that you have completed your quest." Luna hands them their cards back. "Thank you for your hard work."

Smaug and Kazuma grab their cards.

"I went up four levels all at once." Kazuma says.

"I went up by two." Smaug tells him.

Kazuma looks up from his card to Luna. "You really do get stronger just by defeating some monsters..." 

"The newer the adventurer, the faster you'll grow." Luna tells Kazuma then she holds out a plate with money on it. "Now then, adding up the sale of the giant toads and your quest completion reward, your total comes to 110,000 eris." Luna smiles at them. "Please verify the amount."

After counting, Kazuma and Smaug head over to a table. Smaug eats some food while Kazuma does some math.

"110,000... Split between four people, that comes to around 27,500 eris each." He sighs. "We nearly lost our lives for a reward of 27,500 each. It's not worth it."

"You may think it's not." Smaug drinks some juice. "But it's all worth it for the food." 

Kazuma rolls his eyes at her. "I checked the other quests just in case, but... Yeah, it's no use." He sighs again. "I want to to back to Japan."

"I don't." Smaug says. "I'm happy here."

"That's because you have no responsibilities here. All you've done is just eat, drink and sleep."

Smaug points a turkey bone at him. 

"I'll have you know I worked hard at that construction job for those things."

Sudden;y a female voice speaks up behind Kazuma.

"I happened to see your recruitment poster."

Smaug and Kazuma look and see a blonde knight.

'She looks hot, but something is giving me a weird feeling about her.' Smaug thinks.

"Are you still recruiting party members?" The blonde knight asks them.

Kazuma blushes. "We are! Though, I wouldn't really recommend it..."

'Kazuma, shut up! You'll drive the hot lady knight away!' Smaug thinks.

The blonde knight smiles. "I see. Thank goodness. I have anxiously awaited the arrival of someone such as yourselves." Her breathing grows heavy and she blushes. "My name is Darkness. My calling is that of a crusader." She's becoming a blushing and heavy breathing mess. "Please let... Please let me...j-j-join your party!"

'I'd still tap that ass.' Smaug thinks.

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06-16-2022

3875 words

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