Chapter 4: Explosion Is So Loud It Made The Neighbor Angry!

(For those who know the "Lore" in my Dragon Maid S book, you'll know that the Konosuba Smaug could potentially meet the Dragon Maid Smaug.)

In the Adventurer's guild Smaug, who is hungover, is sitting at a table with her head on top of it. A ice pack is resting on the top of her head as she watches Kazuma try out a new magic spell he learned.

Kazuma holds his hand out to a glass cup.

"Create Water!" Kazuma yells and his hand shines blue.

Water flies from his hand and into the glass cup. He then grabs the cup and drinks the water in it, then he sets the glass down and sits down at the table with Smaug.

"Well, that's about what I'd expect from elementary magic. Now that I've learned a skill, maybe I'm a bit more of an adventurer."

"No, you're more like Aqua. Someone who can only do party tricks." Smaug says with a tired voice.

"Don't compare me to her. And I don't think you can talk, with what happened last night. I'm just glad you went to an Inn."

Smaug blushes and she covers her face with her arms. "Don't remind me." She whispers.

"Kazuma! Smaug!" Darkness walks up to them. Smaug's tail turns and looks at her, while Smaug keeps her head down. "Look!" Darkness shows off her repaired armor. "I repaired my armor with the reward I got for the cabbages, and it's so shiny now! What do you think?"

"I bet it looks nice." Smaug quietly says.

"Looks like the sort of armor some newly-rich aristocrat's son would wear." Kazuma gives his opinion.

Darkness gains a small blush. "There are times when I'd like some genuine praise, too. Thank you, Smaug, for the effort."

Smaug's tail gives her a thumbs up.

Darkness blushes more and begins to breathe heavily. "You never show any mercy, do you, Kazuma? Just like how, Smaug, tied me up and-!"

Smaug gets up and covers her mouth. "He or anyone else, don't need to know what happened at that Inn." Darkness blushes more.

Smaug lets go of Darkness and sits back down and puts her hands on her head.

"I don't have time to pay attention to you right now." Kazuma says to Darkness as he looks towards Megumin.

She's doing questionable things to her staff.

"Irresistible. Irresistible!" Megumin says while rubbing her staff.

"Do something about that pervert who's well on her way to surpassing you." Kazuma tells Darkness.

"The luster of this Manatite staff brimming with magical power..." Megumin moans a few times.

'This is really weirding me out.' Smaug thins and then she groans. 'Also I hate that Smaug had such a low alcohol tolerance, but like it anyway.'

"What was that?!" Aqua yells as she's shaking Luna back and forth. "Hey, you, what's the meaning of this?! Just how many cabbages do you think I caught?!"

"W-Well..." Luna starts.

"What?"

Luna looks over to Aqua's catch. "Most of what you caught is actually lettuce..."

"Why is there lettuce mixed in?!"

"Th-There's nothing I can do about it!"

Smaug groans. "Why do people have to yell. It makes my head hurt." She whines.

"It is true that lettuce has a low redemption rate." Darkness mentions.

"It is? I wouldn't know." Kazuma says.

Then Aqua growls then heads over to the group. "Kazuma-san!" She says in a cheery voice. "About how much was your reward from our last quest?"

"About a million." Kazuma replies which surprises the party, minus Smaug.

"I made about 700,000." Smaug says which also surprises the party.

Aqua then adapts a "Cute" look. "K-Kazuma-sama, I've thought this for quite some time, but you're, um... fairly cool, you know?"

"If nothing praiseworthy about me comes to mind, don't force it." Kazuma replies.

'She's so annoying.' Smaug thinks. 'I already spent half of my reward paying off my tab.'

Suddenly Smaug feels something soft and squishy on her back.

"Oh, Smaug-sama." Aqua blows hot air on Smaug's ear. "Do you think-?"

Smaug uses her tail to push Aqua away from her. "No."

Aqua begins to cry. "I thought my reward for this quest would be pretty hefty, so I used up all the money I had! In fact, I expected to rake in a bunch of money, so I have a bar tab of nearly 100,00 eris!"

"What do I care?" Kazuma shouts. "You're the one who suggested we each keep our rewards for ourselves!"

Aqua jumps onto the table and grabs at Kazuma.

"But that was because I thought only I'd make a killing off it!"

"You're real scum."

"Please, lend me money! Just enough to pay my tab is plenty!"

Smaug growls and looks up, only to get a view of Aqua's panties.

"Shut up, you useless goddess!" Kazuma stands up. "I'm going to use this money to escape life in the stables once and for all!"

Aqua then points her butt up in the air and it gets into Smaug's face. She gets angry while a massive blush forms on her face as Aqua shakes her butt.

'Must resist to slap that ass.' Smaug yells in her head.

"Well, you are a boy, and I know you rustle around beside me at night sometimes," Kazuma tenses up and Smaug looks around Aqua and stares at him with a "WTF" face.

Aqua continues. "So I'm sure you'd like a private room as soon as possible..."

Kazuma blushes and covers Aqua's mouth. "Got it! Alright, I got it! I'll lend you the money, so shut up!"

----

"KONOSUBA" Smaug says with disgust in her voice.

----

The next Day

Kazuma and Smaug enter the guild with new adventure gear on, getting ride of their old clothes.

Megumin, Darkness and Aqua are in front of them.

"They both look like real adventures now." Megumin states.

"Wearing a tracksuit and jean with a T-shirt ruins that fantasy feel, doesn't it?" Aqua says.

"Fantasy feel?" Darkness asks.

Kazuma points the palm of his hands at them. "It's elementary, but I did acquire a magic skill. I was thinking of going for a sword mage style, with no shield."

"Only the things you say sound mature..." Aqua says to him.

"I'm gonna punch things with flaming fists, till it dies." Smaug says as fire covers her fists.

"And the things you say sound idiotic..." Says Aqua to her.

"Let's go on a kill quest right away, then." Megumin says with excitement. Then she rubs her staff against her cheek. "One with lots of small-fry monsters! I want to test out my new staff's magic power!"

Darkness pulls out her blade and holds it in front of her. Then she starts to blush and breathe heavily. "No, one with super strong monsters that hit with a heavy, pleasant blow!"

Aqua poses. "No, let's do a profitable quest! I paid my tab, so I don't have enough money for meals today!"

Smaug throws her arms up. "Let's do one that can give me- I mean us, lot's of food!"

'They're not on the same page at all' Kazuma thinks to himself.

"Okay, it's the giant toads' mating season, and I hear they're infesting areas near the city..." Kazuma says but gets interrupted.

"Not the frogs!/No frogs!" Aqua and Megumin both shout to him.

Darkness blushes and moans. "Mating, just like what Smaug did to me-"

Smaug covers Darkness' mouth. "Please, don't say a word."

Aqua and Megumin are freaking out and Smaug takes a few steps back from Darkness.

"Oh, right, these two have been traumatized by frogs." Kazuma says to himself. "They got eaten head-first and covered in slime."

Darkness gasps. "Covered in slime?!" She asks Kazuma.

"You're turned on right now, aren't you?"

Darkness cheeks turn slightly red as she looks away from him. "I am not."

----

"KONOSUBA" Darkness moans.

------

The party goes over to the quest board, but there's hardly any quests. 

"Huh? What's going on?" Kazuma asks. "There are hardly any requests."

Aqua points to one with a bear looking beast drawn on it. "Kazuma! This is it! let's do this one!"

Darkness reads it. "A kill quest for a giant beast called Black Fang!"

"Yes!" Smaug yells.

"No! No way!" Kazuma shuts the idea down. He keeps looking at the quests. "What's this all about? There are only high-difficulty quests left!"

"Is there a problem with that?" Smaug asks him.

"We can't do any of them!" Kazuma says to Smaug.

"You can't, But I bet I can."

"Shut-up, you stupid dragon."

Smaug is offended. "I'm a great dragon. It's not my problem you can't handle hard quests."

Luna then walks over to the group. "I am very sorry.  The truth is, one of the Devil King's top leaders moved in near town recently."

"Huh?" 

"All the weak monsters in the area have gone into hiding because of that, so there's been a sharp decline in requests."

"What?" Kazuma says.

That night at the stables.

Kazuma is watching Aqua mess with a pink rose as he lays on the blanket. A lump is over on the side of the blanket and Smaug's tail is coming from underneath it.

"Honestly... I don't care if he's a top leader of whatever." Aqua tells them. "If he's an undead, just watch me!"

"So this means that until capable adventurers and knights are sent here from the imperial capital, we won't be able to find any decent work?" Kazuma asks Aqua.

"Aw man." Smaug voice comes from under the blanket.

Aqua then turns to Kazuma and shows him her flower. "Look, this is incredible! It's such fine work! I wonder if the sale price will go up."

.

.

.

.

The next day Kazuma, Megumin and Smaug are walking down a path next to a large forest.

Kazuma then speaks up. "Say, if you want to do magical training, can't you go on your own?" Kazuma asks Megumin.

"If I did that, who would carry me home? after one shot, I can't move anymore."

"Wouldn't Smaug?"

"I'm along for the ride. I didn't want to be stuck with the idiot Goddess and the perverted Crusader." Smaug tells them.

"Hey, right here's fine, isn't it?" Kazuma asks Megumin. "Just use your magic on whatever and let's go back."

"I can't do that!" Megumin yells at him. "If I don't do it somewhere far from town, I'll be scolded by the guardsmen again."

Kazuma becomes slightly worried. "You just said 'again,' didn't you? Did they get mad and call you a nuisance because of the noise?"

Megumin blushes from embarrassment and nods.

"Guess we have no choice..."

----

"KONOSUBA!" Megumin calmly says.

----

The three are staring at an old castle on top of a cliff that's in the distance.

"Is that an abandoned castle?" Megumin asks.

"It's so eerie." Kazuma says.

"I want it." Smaug adds in.

"I'll use that!" Megumin exclaims. "Surely nobody will complain if I obliterate that!"

"Uh, yeah..."

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Smaug grumbles. 

Megumin starts her chant. "Crimson-black blaze, king of myriad worlds, through promulgate the laws of nature, I am the alias of destruction incarnate in accordance with the principles of all creation. Let the hammer of eternity descend unto me!" Magic gathers around her. "Explosion!"  

An explosion goes off at the castle and Megumin falls to the ground. 

"Burn to ashes within the crimson." Megumin lowers her head. "This is fantastic..." 

Kazuma face palms as Smaug helps her back up.

"We started a new daily routine with Megumin and Kazuma." Smaug Narrates as we see the three head back to Axel. "The stupid blue hared goddess got a part time job."

Then we see Darkness and Smaug at an Inn and they're both in their undergarments as they are passionately kissing each other. Smaug pushes Darkness onto the bed and climbs on top of her and Smaug licks her lips and Darkness blushes under her.

"Darkness was going to do some training back at her family for a little bit, so we umm..." Smaug coughs. "Got some stress out before she left."

Then we see Kazuma, Megumin and Smaug are walking down the path towards the abandoned castle. 

"Megumin, having nothing to do, commuted to that abandoned castle every day."  Megumin uses her explosion magic on the castle again. "Used her explosion magic on it. She did it no matter the weather. In the early morning, the afternoon and even at night. She didn't care. That castle is pretty durable to have survived so many explosions. I wonder why it was abandoned.'

Smaug is laying in the stables at night, the two others are asleep as she is looking up to the ceiling.

"Maybe I should learn explosion magic?" Smaug quietly says to herself. "I think there's something similar to it in my skill tree." Smaug then rolls onto her side and her tail wraps around her leg. "I wonder how strong I am compared to Smaug from the book?"

----
"Konosuba!" Smaug Yawns.

----

The party is at the guild and Aqua is crying over something Kazuma told her.

"Don't take away my reason for being!" Aqua cries. "You've got me for that! Isn't that enough?!" Aqua lowers her head onto the table and keeps crying.

Smaug rubs her temples.

Megumin looks at Kazuma. "Your verbal lashings are pretty nasty. Most women would cry if you said what was on your mind without holding back."

"If you're feeling stressed out, I wouldn't mind if you verbally abused me instead." Darkness blushes.

Aqua stops crying but then Kazuma looks at her and she continues crying again.

"I'm gonna kick her over some mountains if she doesn't stop." Smaug says.

Then Luna yells to everyone in the guild. "Emergency! Emergency! All adventures, please arm yourselves at once and gather at the front gate of the city, ready for battle!"

A few minutes later

Every adventurer, including the party, are at the front gate.

"That's no laughing matter!"

A ways in front of everyone is Dullahan. One of the Demon King's generals.

"What is it?" Aqua asks.

"Hey, what's going on?" Kazuma asks. "He looks crazy strong!"

"I wonder what's for lunch?" Smaug asks.

Then Dullahan speaks. "I'm the leader from the Devil King's army who moved into a nearby castle recently."

"Is that a Dullahan?" Darkness asks.

Dullahan starts to shake. "Day after day, after day, after day! Wh-Who's the screw-loose imbecile who keeps firing explosion magic at my castle every single day?!" He yells in anger.

'I think he might be angry at us.' Smaug thinks.

"Explosion magic?" An adventurer asks. 

"Who comes to mind that can use explosion magic?" Another asks.

"If we're talking about explosion magic..."

Everyone turns to Megumin. She gasps and turns and looks at someone else and everyone turns.

"Huh? M-Me?!" The red headed mage asks. "Why are you looking at me? I can't use explosion magic! Um, I'm still a novice." Megumin begins to shake. "Uh, I really didn't do it! Please, believe me! I don't want to die yet! I have a little brother to take care of!" She begins to cry.

Megumin begins to walk to the front of everyone.

"Megumin?" Asks Darkness and Smaug.

Megumin stops a little ways from Dullahan.

"So it was you?" Asks Dullahan and he gets angry. "You're the imbecile who fired explosion magic at my castle day after day?!"

Smaug's right eye twitches.

Dullahan continues. "If you're picking a fight with awareness that I'm a leader in the Devil King's army, come attack my castle fair and square! If you don't have the nerve, then stay in the city, trembling in fear!" Megumin takes a step back. "Tell me, why the underhanded harassment?! Just because we left the city alone since there's nothing but small fry here, don't get cocky and make my castle go boom, boom, boom, boom every single day! Are you crazy, you wench?!"

Both Smaug's eyes are twitching and her fists are curled in anger.

"My name is Megumin!" She yells. "An arch wizard who commands explosion magic!"

Everything goes silent.

"What's 'Megumin' supposed to be?" Dullahan asks. "Are you making a fool of me?"

"N-No! I am a crimson demon, the greatest magician in this city. Firing explosion magic at you continuously was a strategy to lure you, a leader in the Devil King's army, out here. You fell for it, and came to this city alone. Seems you're out of luck."

The adventurers gasp and Kazuma leans over to Darkness.

"When did this turn into a strategy?"

"Not to mention she just proclaimed herself the greatest magician in this city." Darkness says to Kazuma.

"If he keeps insulting her, He's gonna have a bad time." Smaug says as orange flames flicker from her left eye.

"Shh! Do her a favor and keep quiet!" Aqua quiets them down. "She hasn't used explosion magic yet today, and she has lots of adventurers behind her, so she's acting tough. This is the good part, so stand here and watch!"

Dullahan chuckles. "Very well. It's not as though I came to this land to meddle with you small fry. I'll likely be staying in that castle for a while longer, so don't use your explosion magic on it again. Got it?"

"Impossible." Megumin says to him. "We crimson demons must unleash explosion magic once a day, or we'll die."

"H-Hey, I've never heard anything like that before! Don't make up convenient lies! Are you saying you don't intent to stop using explosion magic, no matter what?"

Megumin nods. "Yes."

"I may have given myself up to evil, but I was once a knight. I'm not interested in mowing down weaklings. However..."

"You can't act so composed for long." Megumin motions back to the party. "Teacher, if you would."

"Hey." Kazuma says to her.

Aqua crosses her arms. "Guess I have no choice."

"Huh?!" Both Kazuma and Smaug yell.

Aqua runs towards Megumin and Dullahan. "I don't care if you're one of the Devil king's leaders! Coming here while I'm around was bad luck!" Her staff forms in her hands. "I can't accept any decent quests because of you!" She twirls her staff around and points it at Dullahan. "Now, are you ready?!"

"Who do we have here?" Dullahan asks. "An arch priest? I am one of the top leaders in the Devil King's army. I'm not so lowly that I'd be purified by a low-level priest from this city. I know. Why don't I make that crimson demon girl suffer a bit?"

'The FUCK did he just say!' Smaug yells in thought as she begins to stomp her way over to them.

Dullahan raises a hand and purple magic covers her hand.

"I'll purify you with my prayer!" Aqua says as she holds her staff in front of her.

"You're too late!" Dullahan says as he points a finger at Megumin. "I sentence thee to death. You will die in one week."

Smaug begins to run towards them and a yellow blur flies past her. Darkness gets in front of Megumin and takes the blast for her.

"That Bastard!" Smaug yells as she runs at Dullahan. "I'm gonna kill you!" She jumps at Dullahan.

"Huh?" He says as he moves to the side and Smaug flies past him. "A dragonnoid?"

Smaug gets up and glares at him. "I'm a proud dragon!" She jumps at him, but he just moves to the side and grabs her by the tail and holds her up. "Hey! Put me down!"

"As if you're a dragon. They're strong, not weak like you are." He says as he throws her at the ground.

Smaug leans head first and it gets lodged into the ground.

Dullahan huffs and looks at the rest of the party. "It appears this method may actually be more effective against tightly-knit adventurers such as yourselves. Listen, crimson demon girl. The crusader will die in one week's time. Your precious ally will suffer as she trembles in terror of death until then. Yes, because of you!"

Megumin gasps.

"Watch as your ally suffers for the next week and repent for your actions." He laughs. "You should have just done as I said." He points to Smaug, who's trying to get her head out of the ground. "Also, keep that dog on a leash."

"I'm not some dog!" A muffled response comes from Smaug. "I'm Smaug the great fire dragon! And I for some reason hate the name Dave!"

Dullahan begins to leave.

Darkness gets up using her sword as support. "How terrible... You're basically saying you cast a death curse on me, and to obey your orders if we want it removed? Is that what you're after?!"

Dullahan stops and looks to Darkness. "Huh?"

"I won't give in to a mere curse! I won't give in, but..." She begins to blush. "Wh-What should I do, Kazuma?"

"Yes, I'm Kazuma." He replies.

"Is she going crazy, again?" A muffled question from Smaug.

"Yes." Kazuma answers. 

"Damn."

"Look at that dullahan's filthy eyes, hidden beneath his helmet!" Darkness breathing begins to get heavy. "Those are the eyes of a degenerate who plans to take ma back to his castle, tell me to shut up and submit to him if I want the curse removed, and demand I preform hardcore acts of perversion for him!"

"What the hell?!" A muffled yell comes from Smaug.

"Huh?" Dullahan is disturbed.

Darkness blushes more. "You may do as you please with my body, but don;t think you'll be free to do as you please with my heart! For it belongs to another. A lady knight imprisoned in a castle, having outrageous demands made of her by the Devil King's minion..." She turns to Kazuma. "Oh, what should I do?! What should i do, Kazuma?

"Yes, yes, I'm Kazuma." He replies to her.

"This is an unexpectedly moe situation!" Darkness yells. "I don't want to go. I don't want to go, but I have no choice! I'll resist as long as I can, so don't stand in my way!" Darkness blushes as she makes her way over to Dullahan. "Okay, I'll be back!"

"What a maniac..." Dullahan says.

"Someone stop her!" A muffled yells comes from Smaug. "What the hell is this ground made off!"

Kazuma runs over to Darkness and stops her. "Stop! Don't go! You're bothering the dullahan!"

"Let go!" Darkness yells. "Don't stop me! Cut it out!"

----

"KONOSUBA!" Darkness cries out.

----

"A-Anyway!" Dullahan starts. "Stop firing explosion magic at my castle!" He points at Megumin. "And you, crimson demon girl! If you wish to lift the curse on that crusader, come to my castle. If you're able to make it all the way to me, I'll lift the curse. However, will you all really be able to make it that far?" He turns around and laughs while he vanishes in red flames.

"Come back here!" Smaug yells, she still as her head stuck in the ground. "I'll kick your ass!"

It's silent except for the sounds of Smaug trying to get unstuck. But Megumin begins to walk forward.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" Kazuma asks Megumin.

Megumin stops but doesn't turn around. "I'm going to go to the castle, nail the dullahan with a direct hit of my explosion magic, and lift the curse on Darkness." She turns and smiles.

Kazuma sighs and runs over to her. "You know I'm going with you."

POP

Smaug flies back and lands near the two. "I'm coming too! We're strong if we all work together!"

"Besides, we're the fools who went with you every day and didn't realize the castle belonged to one of their leaders." Kazuma says to Megumin.

"Shall we go then? However, I hear there's a bunch of undead in the castle. That means weapons won't work very well. My magic should be more effective. So..." Smaug stands up and Megumin smiles at the two. "Please rely on me at times like these!

"Don't..." They look over to Darkness. "Dive it up, you three. Don't do all this for me."

"Hey, Darkness! We'll definitely do something about your curse!" Kazuma says to Darkness.

"And I'm not gonna let someone take my property away from me!" Smaug says and Darkness moans and blushes. "So I'm gonna-"

"Sacred break Spell!" Aqua casts on Darkness, breaking the curse.

Kazuma, Megumin and Smaug are shocked.

"Huh?" 

Darkness checks herself out and stands up.

Aqua skips up to them. "For me, lifting a dullahan's curse is child's play! Well? I can be priest-like once in a while, don't you think?"

'I guess she can be kinda useful.' Smaug thinks.

The adventurers behind them all begin to cheer and run towards them

"I forgot they were here." Smaug says.

People begin to congratulate Aqua then she begins to do party tricks.

'I take back what I thought.' Smaug thinks 

Emergency Quest

Repel the Dullahan!
Quest Clear!!

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06-18-2022

4060 words

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