Chapter 6: What a Boring and Useless Fight

The Dullahan is fairly angry. "Why haven't you come to the castle? You wretches!" He yells.

"What?" Kazuma yells in shock. "Why? We're not firing explosion magic at you anymore..."

"Not firing at me, you say? That's a barefaced lie!" The Dullahan throws his head on the ground. His head bounces back up and he scrambles to grab it. He points to Megumin. "That crazy crimson demon girl is still coming to my castle every single day!"

"Huh?!" Kazuma looks to Megumin and she looks away. Then he grabs her cheeks and stretches them. "You?!"

"Ow!" Megumin yells. "That's not it! Please hear me out!" She gets out of Kazuma's grasp and takes a few steps back. "Until now, I've been able to settle for unleashing my magic on empty plains, but since I learned the allure of using magic attacks on a castle, well..." She puts a hand on her cheek. "Now I need something big and hard, or I just can't endure it."

"That sounds wrong." Smaug speaks up.

Kazuma points at Megumin. "Besides, you can't move after unleashing your magic! Which means you must've had an accomplice..."

Smaug starts to sweat and she begins to make her way through the crowd. Smaug yips as someone grabs her tail and pulls her back to the front of the crowd.

"No, no, no!" Smaug yells as Kazuma drags her. Then Kazuma lets go of her tail and she stands up only to get Kazuma to start pulling on her cheeks. "OW! OW! OW! I couldn't say no to her face! Don't blame me it was my instincts! 

A wave of magic washes over them and Kazuma stops and everyone looks back to the Dullahan.

"Hear me, fools. My name is Verdia." The Dullahan introduces himself.  

"This isn't the only thing I'm deeply offended by. Did you not have the backbone to seek retribution for your ally's death?!" He shakes with anger. "I may be evil now, but in life, I strove to be an upstanding knight. In my opinion, allowing the death of that crusader, a model knight who protected her ally and received my curse, to go to waste is simply- What?"

Darkness walks to the front of the crowd. She scratches her cheek. "G-Gosh, um... A model knight?"

"H-Huh? What?!" Verdia yells. "Huh? You're.... alive?"

"What's this?" Aqua starts with a smug tone. "Was this dullahan waiting for us the whole time, with no idea that we easily dispelled his curse after he left?" She laughs. "That's hilarious! Super hilarious!"

"I-if I felt like it, I could massacre every inhabitant of this city!"

Aqua keeps laughing. "That's so pathetic!" She calms down and holds her hand out to Verdia. "You're awfully cocky for an undead!" Her hand glows golden.

"Do you think a beginner adventurer's magic can-"

"Turn Undead!" Aqua casts the spell and golden particles fly towards Verdia and surround him.

Verdia screams in pain and his horse disappears. He falls onto the ground and rolls around in pain. Then he stands up.

"Wow, he's powerful." Smaug saus.

'No crap!' Everyone yells in thought.

Aqua turns to Kazuma. "Hey, Kazuma, this sin't right! It's not working!"

"No, it looked pretty effective to me." Kazuma replies.  "He went 'Gah!' and all."

Verdia groans. "Are you really a beginner? Ins't this city a gathering place for beginners?" He takes a step forward. "F-Fine, then. There's no need for me to fight you myself."

Verdia waves his hand and a dark mist covers the ground near him and shades come out of the ground.

"Undead Knights!" Verdia yells. "Show this lot a glimpse of Hell!"

Kazuma hits his palm with his fist then points to Verdia. "I bet he's freaked out because your magic was more effective then he expected."

Aqua nods.

"Th-That's not it!" Verdia deflects. He then stomps around. "Why should the boss be the one you fight first?"

"Speed running?" Smaug says and everyone just looks to her. "What?"

Aqua points her palm at Verdia. "Sacred Turn Undead!"

A magic circle appears under Verdia and then it shines brightly. Verdia screams in pain. The light dies down and Verdia rolls on the ground in pain.

"M-My eyes! My eyes!"

"Wh-What should we do, Kazuma!" Aqua asks in worry. "My purification magic isn't affecting him at all!"

"He did go 'Yah!' and all. I think it was very effective." Kazuma replies.

Verdia slams the palm of his hand on the ground "That's enough! Slaughter everyone in the city!" Verdia commands.

The undead knights run towards the city.

Smaug looks at the knights. "Finally a worthy opponent." She puts her fist in the air. "Our battle will be legendary!"

The adventurers behind her are freaking out and that causes Verdia to laugh.

"Now, let me hear your screams of despair!"

Everyone goes quiet as Aqua screams and runs away as the undead chase her.

"Why are they all targeting me?! I'm a goddess! I've been a good girl every day, too!" Aqua yells.

"No fair!" Darkness yells out in jealousy. "I've been a really good girl every day, so why?!"

Smaug gets depressed. "I wanted to battle, too."

Everyone watches as Aqua runs off into the distance screaming as the undead knight chase her.

Kazuma turns to Megumin. "Megumin! Can't you nail that swarm of undead with explosion magic?"

Megumin nods. "But when they're all scattered like that..."

They hear Aqua scream and look to the side and their eyes widen as Aqua is running towards them.

"Smaug-San! Kazuma-san!"

People begin to run away, except Darkness and Smaug. She smiles but then frowns as Aqua and the knights run past her.

Kazuma is running ahead of Aqua. "You idiot! Don't come this way! If you go the other way, I'll treat you to dinner tonight!"

"That looks fun." Smaug says with a pout.

"I'll treat you if you do something!" Aqua yells to Kazuma. "I can't get rid of them, no matter how many times I use Turn Undead!"

Smaug groans and she runs after them. "I want in on the fun, too!" 

Smaug's fist becomes covered in bright fire and some of the undead in the back stop and look to her. 

Smaug skids to a stop. "I don't like the way their looking at me."

The undead eyes shine red and they run at her.

Smaug laughs and charges at the knights only for Smaug and the Knights to get blown away from a massive explosion, caused by Megumin. 

"Why can't I have fun!" Smaug yells as she flies through the air.

Smaug lands head first and she becomes stuck.

"it appears every last person here has been left speechless after witnessing my explosion magic." Megumin says and she sighs. "That felt amazing..." She falls to the ground.

Smaug is trying to get her head unstuck as she hears people cheer. "How did this happen, again?!" She yells in anger. "And seriously, what is this ground made of! It's like I'm in an anime or a book!"

She feels something poke at her sides and she growls in anger. "Hey, stop it!"

Three undead knights surround Smaug and one pokes at her sides with their swords. They look to each other and shrug. One of them keeps poking at Smaug.

"Stop it!"

The knights laugh and they all start to poke at Smaug.

"Hey, this is harassment!" She yells and kicks her legs in the air. "I'm just a little lady.... I mean man!"

One of the knights pokes her in the butt and she stops moving. The two other knights look at the third like he's a mad man. 

A dark aura covers Smaug and the ground around her begins to shake. The three knights begin to back away as some fire seeps out of the ground. 

The ground violently shakes and Smaug bursts out of the ground with fire coming out of her eyes and mouth.

"I HATE UNDEAD KNIGHT! AAAAHHHHH!"

A fiery aura covers Smaug and the knights try to run away but Smaug tackles one to the ground and the other two turn to see the undead knight get turned to ash.

The two undead knights freak out and run away, but a whip of fire grasp one of their legs.

"GET OVER HERE!"

The knight gets flung towards Smaug and she grabs his head and crushes it.

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The last knight drops his sword and throws his arms up while running away. Smaug runs towards him.

"GET BACK HERE."

The knight gives a silent cry as Smaug jumps toward him. She lands on her shoulders and opens her mouth wide showing many sharp teeth.

She then brings her head down and bites the head of the undead knight off. They both fall to the ground and Smaug chews with an angry face.

Smaug stands my and spits out some armor pieces and she kicks the body of the undead knight.

"That'll teach you to harass a lady!" She pouts. "Well, at least nothing to bad happened-"

Smaug gets swept away by a giant flood.

Emergency Quest

Kill the Dullahan!

Quest Cleared!!

-----

"Konosuba" A sick sounding Smaug says.

-----

The Next Day

Smaug is sleeping on the roof of a building. She snorts and rolls over and falls of the side of the roof and lands on the street below with a thud.

Smaug wakes up and sits up while looking around.

"Where am I?" Smaug asks as she wipes some drool from the side of her mouth.

She hears some foot steps beside her stop and she looks to see Kazuma staring down at her.

.

.

.

.

Smaug and Kazuma arrive at the guild and Megumin comes over to them.

"I've been waiting for you two!" Megumin says to them with slight annoyance in her tone. "Listen to this!" Megumin looks over to Darkness, who's drinking with a friend. "Darkness is being super stingy and telling me I'm too young to have any!"

Darkness turns to them and walks over. "No, wait, that isn't what I..."

A drunk Aqua walks over to Kazuma and Smaug. "You're both late!"

'She's drunk already!' Smaug thinks. 'Lucky."

Luna walks over to the group. "Oh, Kazuma-san, I've been waiting for you. Actually, I have a special reward for you and your party."

"Huh? Really?"

"Cool."

"Um, why only us?"

An adventurer speaks up. "Who knew you'd defeat a leader of the Devil king's army?"

'We did?' Smaug thinks to herself.

The adventurer continues. "I believed in the radiance within you from the very start."

"the radiance within me?" Kazuma asks.

"A light that shines on the gates of Hell... There may have been an old legend like that."

Another adventurer speaks up. "That's right! If you weren't here, we never would have defeated the dullahan!"

Adventurer's begin to cheer Kazuma's name.

"I'm feeling left out here." Smaug mumbles to herself as she pouts.

Luna clears her throat. "In recognition of Satou Kazuma-san's party's achievement, I award you 300 million eris."

"Th-Three hundred million?!" The party says in shock.

Smaug begins to drool.

Kazuma holds up his hand. "Group meeting." The party groups up. "I have something to tell all of you."

"We won thanks to my abilities, so we should go 90/10." Aqua suggests.

"I was touch in the butt, I think I deserve some more." Smaug says.

"Now that we've acquired great wealth, I'm going to live a safe and leisurely life."

"Wait!" Darkness says.

"I won't wait!"

"It's a big problem for me if I can't fight strong enemies anymore!"

"It's not a problem!"

"It bothers me, too." Megumin says. "I'm going to join you, defeat the Devil King, and earn the title of strongest magician."

"You won't earn it!"

"It bothers me also!" Smaug says. "We're going to defeat the Devil King so I don't have to do anything for a long time."

"You hardly do anything in the first place!"

"You're going to go back to being a shut-in NEET?" Aqua asks.

"I'm not going to, because I'm not a NEET!"

"I won't be able to go home!"

"I've already made up my mind!"

"Huh?"

"Don't 'Huh' me, you useless goddess!"

Luna walks over to Kazuma and holds out a piece of paper. "Um, Kazuma-san..."

Kazuma grabs the paper and reads it.

"It is a check? It's a check, right?" Aqua asks.

Kazuma's eyes widen.

"Actually, the flood of water Aqua-san summoned caused substantial damage to the outer walls..." Luna states.  "Of course, defeating a leader of the Devil King's army is a big accomplishment, so I won't insist you pay back the full sum. I just ask that you pay a portion..."

Aqua starts to sneak away. "Sneak away..."

But Kazuma grabs the back of her hair. "Wait."

Darkness puts a hand on Kazuma's shoulder. "The reward is 300 million, and the cost of compensation is 340 million, huh?"

"Our bloody journey of magic has only just begun." Megumin says.

"Let's go on a quest to take out a profitable, strong enemy tomorrow."

Aqua fixes her hair. "W-We can split the debt into equal parts..."

Smaug's right eye twitches. Then see starts to laugh and it slowly get louder and louder. 

her party looks at her like she's insane. 

"I'M GOING INSANE!" Smaug yells as she pulls on her hair.

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06-22-2022

2124 words.

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