A Fox’s System

Chapter 3: Chapter 3 – Negotiating with a Prankster


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The girl in front of me did little to hide her amusement. Her smile had already grown wide enough to reveal two rows of snow-white teeth, amongst them four canines which only further diminished the believability of the feelings of guilt she had expressed just now. She looked like a predator, a mighty fox ready to jump and the mousy me.

“She totally is having the time of her life!”

“Of course I am! It has been ages since I was last visited, after all!”
“Wait a second... Do you read my mind?!”
“Eehm~ ...no?”
“Are you fucking kidding me?!”
“No.”
“Whatever! I’m totally not buying it!”
“It’s free?”
“...”

“This girl! She would be the best if only she would keep her mouth shut!”

The goddess immediately froze. For a split-second she just stood there, staring at me in disbelief, then she avoided my eyes. A slight red could be seen on her fair skin.

“Bu- but we only know each other for a few minutes!” She answered with a badly faked stammer.
“Who would want to date you!?”
“You don’t?”
“...”
“Huh?”

This had to stop. I couldn’t let her fool me like this anymore. If this had any chance of coming to a good end I had to step up now. I had to talk her into helping me out. At least a little bit. As things stood, she was just playing with me!

“You said you could help me?”
“I mean I could, but...”
“STOP IT!”
“...”
“You can’t send me back!?”
“You really want to go back?”
“Of course I do! I have to meet Mira!”
“Will you be fine without your little friend?”
“Without my friend?” A Cold shiver ran down my spine as I realized what she said. “What?! She cannot give me back my balls?!”
“Of course I can’t!”
“But you are a goddess?! Why wouldn’t you be able to do that?!”
“I don’t even know how that thing is supposed to look like! I can’t just use a random item and attach it to you! It wouldn’t work the way it is supposed to!”
“...the way it is supposed to.”

For whatever reason, I imagined myself just standing there in the nude, with my precious friend having changed its shape into a crooked tree branch. Mira was standing in front of me, looking at it in shock as leaves began growing all over it. There were even two apples taking the spot something entirely else should be located at. A cold shiver went over my back.

“Everything but that!”

“Is there something else you can do for me?! Anything will do!”
“I can send you to a different world~” She suggested with a new grin painted on her cherry-red lips. “You would even have a healthy body, you know~?”
“A different world?!”
“Yes! It has foxes, Foxgirls, fox-”
I immediately cut off her words. “No! Just no!”
“But missy~”
“Can’t you send me to a normal world? And give me a normal body?”
“Isn’t a fantasy world way better? You could be a hero and do magic!”
“Who would want to be a hero?”
Upon hearing my answer, the goddess’ lively wagging tail suddenly lost all of its energy. “... boring.” She exclaimed sulky.
“So what!? It is my life! I don’t need it to be thrilling!”
“You are dead, though.”
“...”
“Let’s just send you to the afterlife! Those geezers will love playing with your little-”
“No!”
“But missy~”
“Let’s just do it, ok? But my rules!”

A new smile grew on her face. She knew she had won, or at least she still believed so, but I would never give up just like this. Sure, she was a goddess, but it seemed she was easy to sway! I could ask for whatever I wanted as long as she deemed it to be entertaining enough.

“Your rules?” She asked after making sure she had thoroughly enjoyed the moment. “What are they?”
“You will send me to the other world!”
“Yes~”
“And I will have a healthy body.”
“Of course!”
“Down there, too!”
“I would never send you away with your crotch pixelated.”

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“This bitch!”

“Fox.”
“...”

I took a few deep breaths, trying to ease the urge that told me to strangle this girl at once. “And I want to be able to use magic.”
“Naturally.”

“Why is she so reasonable, suddenly? Is she tricking me?! This vixen!”

The girl suddenly started clapping. “You finally got it right! Good girl!”
“Stop calling me little Missy!”
Once again her tail dropped. “No fun ...”
“I am not your toy!”
“You are such a killjoy~”
“Stop play- whatever! I don’t care! One last wish!”
“Yes?”
“I want to be with Mira.”
“I can do that.”
“You can?”
“Of course. I am a goddess, you know? I can do everything!”
“So you totally do not remember giving me... nothing down there? Mrs. Goddess?”
“That was an accident~ an accident!”

Her playful voice broke the last bit of my composure. I felt something inside of me break, then there was only anger.

“HOW CAN THAT BE AN ACCIDENT?!” I screamed at her. “YOU DIDN’T EVEN LEAVE A HOLE FOR ME TO PEE!!”
“Too loud~! You are hurting my ears!”
“I. DO. NOT. CARE!”
“So mean~”
“Just send me off! Please!”
“Ok ok~”

The goddess finally gave up on joking with me. She readied herself before summoning a pale green mist with a wave of her arms. It surrounded me like a small tornado, blurred my vision and slowly consumed my consciousness.

I was almost gone when her voice haunted after me. “Goodbye, missy~!” She yelped into the darkness.

“Did she just?! Did she really just call me ‘Missy’ again?! I will-”

“Kon-kon! Welcome to Vixen Air - Your foxy travel agency with destinations... everywhere!”
“I don’t care anymore ...”

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