Chapter 22: 22 Therapy 2 electric boogaloo

A/N: ... im sorry. I couldnt help myself. it was just so fun last time. its not as long this time tho.

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Our return to Konoha was swiftly followed by Croc's return to the hospital. When the Medic saw Coyote, who was the first to arrive, he already looked exasperated, and when he saw Croc and Hawk limping in together, he just seemed defeated.

Of course, we used the ANBU entrance, so no one besides the Medics and us saw the state of Croc and Hawk.

Apparently, Croc has a bed reserved for him, so we were in and out in a moment.

Well, me and Coyote were in and out, the other two are going to be on bed rest for a bit, and a ???????????????????? respectively.

Meanwhile me and Coyote had to report to the Commander, Takeshi.

Normally at the end of a patrol mission you just write a report that's way too long and can be surmised to 'nothing happened', because if anything ???????????????? happen, like today, then we have to give a verbal report before the written one to the Commander directly.

Thankfully, as my superior, Coyote did all the reporting while I stood by looking menacing (Read: Like a lost child).

That finally over with we were dismissed for the day and given the next two days off.

So, I went home and promptly collapsed on my bed.

???????? ????????????????????????~

Sighing in contentment I enjoy my bed for the first time in, uh, a week?

???????????????? ???????????? ???????????????? ???????????? ???????? ?????????????????

And with that thought I fall asleep.

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It's a new dawn and a new day and I decide, after a hearty breakfast with my parents, to go see Koi.

She did say I can do drop-ins before our next scheduled session.

That said, here I am, in a waiting room in the Hokage tower, wearing my usual attire, but with a pink shirt this time, to match my hair, waiting for Koi to be free.

It takes about 40 minutes, during which I got bored and practiced using Genjutsu on the Chunin at the desk, I just used the False Surroundings Jutsu on him, but kept everything the same, except for small, minor things.

Not enough to make him think it's a Genjutsu, but just enough to put him on edge, like making the shadows a little bit longer and deeper, or making the fingers of the people he's talking to slightly longer than is natural when he hands them a scroll or something.

But my fun at stressing the poor guy out is ended when Koi walks into the waiting room and calls me over.

We stay silent until we are seated in her office.

This feels different with the knowledge that I'm the one who asked for it this time.

"So, Haruno-kun, you wanted to talk? What's on your mind?"

"Well firstly you don't need to be so formal, just call me by my name, or just Hana if it's a mouthful, I mean I'm already calling you Koi-san in my head"

I almost forgot to add the 'san' on the end there, I may not be one for formality, but I can't be ???????????? informal.

"Very well then, Hana-san, still, you wanted to talk?"

"'San'? most people use 'kun'"

"Is the use of suffix what you wanted to talk about?"

And so, the games begin I suppose.

"Is it wrong to be curious?"

"I suppose not, do you have an issue with me using 'san', Hana-san?"

"I'm simply curious as to why you're an exception."

"Well, 'san' is the suffix used to show respect between peers, and I felt you would prefer that I see you as a peer than a junior."

"Aren't these psychological tricks best left unsaid?"

"They are, but you asked, would you have preferred I lie?"

"Would you have lied to a patient?"

"Do you think the truth is always going to be what a patient needs to hear?"

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"You ???????????? the professional, I'll take your word for it."

"Thank you, now not that this game isn't pleasant, but you never answered my original question."

At the prompt, our conversation actually pauses for a moment, as I think about what to say, because like she says, despite this being fun, I did come here for a reason.

After a pregnant pause, I slowly start speaking, hoping the words will come to me as I talk.

"...I did my first mission, a little over a week ago, just about. I-I don't think I'm allowed to talk about the specifics, but, hypothetically, if someone were to be ordered to infiltrate an enemy camp, and they were to get caught by someone incredibly powerful, very nearly dying at their hands. Well, that would be a pretty scary experience, no?"

"Indeed, that kind of experience would usually be traumatising, have you, by any chance of coincidence, been in a situation similar to the one you described recently?"

"...Yeah, I can't talk about what happened, so you'll have to do without the details."

"Of course, I understand secrecy."

"Well, I was doing my first mission, I was with some other people too, about a dozen. It was going well for about half a minute, before a scary Fire Lady blindsided us. Our group got hit by a fireball, only it wasn't really a fireball. It didn't burn, it didn't explode, it just ????????????????. It hit half of us, and just. One moment, there was a teammate to my right, the next there just ????????????????'????."

"And was it the suddenness of this death that has you so shaken? Or were you close with the deceased? both maybe?"

"No, no, it wasn't any of that, well maybe the first one a little bit. It's that nothing ????????????????????????????????, they were just ????????????????, ????????????????. No explosion. No scream. No time to react. No wound. Nothing. I haven't seen a lot of death, but there has always been some ???????????????????????????????????????????? to it. When a man dies, you can ???????????? it, weather that's the wound, seeing a burnt husk, or watching the life drain from their eyes. But there is always ????????????????????????????????????. Something that you can look at and know that they've died. With the Fire Lady, there was ????????????????????????????. One moment they were there, and the next they were just ????????????????, faster than I could blink."

After my small rant, Koi gives me a moment to gather myself before she speaks.

"And how did all of this make you feel?"

"That's the thing. I don't know. Thats why I'm here after all. The excitement and adrenaline of battle feels amazing to me, and the fear of death just exacerbates that feeling, but with Her. I just don't know, I feel confused, I could still feel my blood pumping, only it felt cold. Like ice in my veins, and I felt my body trying to tell me to run and to hide."

"Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think I do understand what is happening here. Would I be right in thinking that it's the fact that you don't truly understand how they died, that has you so shaken up? A kunai to the throat is understandable, an explosion, drowning etcetera, all explainable, but what you saw is something you never thought possible, so you're struggling to accept it?"

"That, actually makes a bit of sense. It, at least doesn't feel wrong. So, what? I just need to see more nonsensical shit and acclimatise myself to it?"

"Unfortunately, that is sometimes the only solution, experience ???????? the greatest teacher."

"Isn't the Second supposed to be the greatest teacher? Do you not believe in our founders?"

Koi sees the obvious conversation change for what it is, and plays along, for which I am grateful.

"I would never doubt our Hokage, nor any past Hokages, and the Second was known by many titles, however the full version of the one you are referencing is actually 'The Greatest Teacher Among Men'"

"Didn't know that. I suppose it's true that you learn something new every day."

"On the subject of learning, how have you progressed in your training since we last talked?"

"It's only been a little over a week, do you really think I could improve so much so quickly?"

"Do you not?"

"Why would I? I'm not ???????????????? arrogant"

"You would admit to being arrogant? And you've already reached farther than a lot of Shinobi ever will, even so young, you clearly improve quickly."

"Of course I would admit to being arrogant, I am confident and proud in my abilities, but if you claim to be better than average then you will be called arrogant, weather you actually are better than average or not, similarly, on the subject, if you claim to be average then you will be called humble, unless you are below average, then you would be called delusional, and if you claim to be below average then you will be called self-deprecating, unless you are above average in which case you will be called condescending. So, if I ever say that I ???????????? improve that quickly then I will be called arrogant, Irregardless of the truth of the statement."

"You really are just full of interesting thoughts, and I can't help but recognise the truth to what you just said. Would you mind if I quote you on that for a paper I'm writing? Your name will have to be anonymous for obvious reasons."

"I don't mind, but aren't you supposed to be healing me? oh 'Specialised Medic-nin'?"

"I believe this session has already been productive, and you talk as if you don't enjoy our talks, sometimes having a nice conversation is all you need to feel better. However, as today wasn't scheduled, I ???????? actually have prior arrangements that I need to be getting to very soon, so I will have to call an end to today's session."

Koi looks apologetic enough, and I don't really mind, it ???????????? a productive session after all, my mind feels clearer, and I certainly feel better. The incident with Pakura has been on my mind for a while now after all.

After saying our goodbyes to each other, I left to just wonder around Konoha, thinking, pondering and maybe even musing.

And thus, an end draws to the first half of my vacation time.

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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!

I Didnt get carried away this time! Also i've been wondering if people are getting my more subtle things, like whenever an ANBU is talking with the mask on I try to avoid capitalisation, to show how theyre speaking in monotone.

I don't believe in pay walling chapters, and I never will, however, if you do want to support me and my ability to pay rent, then I created a ko-fi so please consider donating! even just a pound, of course only if you're financially stable please

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